COVID-19 – Page 2

When the least is not enough

As we face the fourth wave and the COVID Delta variant, many Canadians are less concerned. If one is vaccinated, risks are much lower. Outside, I see many close-knit groups of people strolling on the streets to restaurants and bars. This correlates with Manitoba’s recent choice to abandon capacity and indoor mask requirements. For those with kids under age 12, it’s a scary scene right before school starts. The Delta variant is looking for vectors, and unvaccinated kids may be one of them.

It’s hard to stop thinking about this as a parent. In anxious moments, I hear the Jaws movie’s theme music as we drive past the elementary school. It’s still summer, but Rosh Hashanah, a new year and a time of reckoning are around the corner.

Much of the pandemic rhetoric now involves a refrain of “getting back to normal.” However, for many of us, we’re not sure normal’s going to ever be the same. Many people have died. Normal isn’t the same after the death of a loved one. Normal also isn’t the same for those who were very ill or are suffering from long COVID. For many parents, including me, this prolonged time at home with my kids has resulted in more teaching and childcare and a lot less time to work. Things may change, but “normal” is something elusive. If our kids are too young to be vaccinated, I’m not sure we’re there yet.

Yet, Elul, the Hebrew month where we contemplate our actions in time for the New Year, is upon us. Even if you don’t ever get to a morning minyan, someone’s blowing a shofar every day now, around the world, except for Shabbat. It’s time to wake up our souls.

This metaphor about “normal” has a lot in common with teshuvah, when we seek forgiveness for what we’ve done wrong to others this year. We apologize and seek forgiveness, but any relationship where one party harms another may remain forever changed. It’s one thing to look at the Torah portion of Re’eh (Deuteronomy 11:26-16:17) and read that Moses set before the Israelites the choice, from G-d, between blessing and curse, and simplistically say, “It’s easy! Choose to be a blessing.” Many sermons sound like this, but, when things go off track, it’s not always simple. Obviously, trying to fix it is the right thing to do, even though the effort may not make a relationship all better.

I’ve been studying the talmudic tractate of Sukkah and, on page 31a, there’s a good example of this kind of unsatisfactory resolution. On this page, an old woman comes before Rav Nahman, the exilarch (leader of the Babylonian Jewish community) and the sages and screams, saying they are sitting in a stolen sukkah. Remarkably, no one disagrees with her! She’s upset because the sukkah was constructed with wood that was stolen from her. Even though she’s right, Rav Nahman is condescending. He pays no attention to her.

Rav Nahman says, “This woman is a screamer and she has rights only to the monetary value of the wood. However, the sukkah itself was already acquired by the exilarch.” His legal ruling is that, when a sukkah is built of stolen wood, the wood’s original owner only deserves compensation for its value.

In Rabbi Elliot Goldberg’s introduction to this Talmud page online on My Jewish Learning, he is uncomfortable with this decision. In other talmudic discussions, a stolen lulav is invalid, or G-d denounces theft, even for the sake of heaven. Even if this stolen sukkah fulfils the commandments on Sukkot, Rabbi Goldberg writes that mistreating an elderly woman who has just been robbed is wrong. Rav Nahman lacks respect for her, demeaning her by calling her “a screamer” and failing to speak to her directly.

What is going to fix this relationship or make things “normal” again? If someone pays this woman for the wood, it doesn’t make appropriate amends for her experience, even if that were all she were entitled to legally.

When studying this, I saw an odd metaphor for some of what’s going on around us. We may be transitioning to a new time in which we all have to cope with COVID as endemic. Our new “normal” may include breakthrough illnesses in those who are vaccinated. It may include feeling unsafe or condescended to or unfairly dealt with, as we navigate changing public health orders that don’t keep some of us safe. This may feel risky or, for some people, like an amazing freedom, as they legally disregard the risks.

However, the chances of being ill or having long COVID remain. Like the old woman who is robbed, we may be eligible for compensation after the fact, but the original trauma remains. If someone steals your wood, it isn’t OK. You may get COVID, even if you’re vaccinated. It might not be OK. Worse yet, you could experience the loss of a child or another vulnerable family member who couldn’t be vaccinated. There’s no compensation for that. Losing even one person is too many.

I may be a risk-averse scaredy-cat, but I’ve been thinking about that talmudic elderly woman in Sukkah 31a. If she hadn’t been robbed in the first place, she wouldn’t have had to confront important rabbis and been treated poorly. The new normal for her didn’t get her wood or her dignity back. So, too, if we can be careful, perhaps we can avoid getting sick during a pandemic – but people don’t choose to be robbed or to be exposed to a virus. If we’re careful, bad things can still happen.

What does this mean for Rosh Hashanah this year? When we seek forgiveness and resolution with others, perhaps it’s not enough to simply try and fix only what we’re legally obligated to fix. If we want a “new normal” in a relationship or in society, we will have to build trust, mend fences and patch up things so that our mistakes can be mended. Our new societal normal should result in an even stronger darned fabric than what existed before the pandemic hole was torn out. We can’t expect everything to come out OK if we behave as Rav Nahman did.

I don’t know how the fourth wave will go, or if vaccination will protect our kids. We could think about one another, behave kindly and with compassion in the meanwhile. Masking up, keeping our distance, washing our hands, and doing extra for one another are important. We owe it to one another, and to that older woman that Rav Nahman shamed. Maybe, when it comes to some Jewish laws or health care, the bare minimum required by the law is just not good enough.

Joanne Seiff has written regularly for CBC Manitoba and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. Check her out on Instagram @yrnspinner or at joanneseiff.blogspot.com.

Recalibrating our life route

In the summer, we read through Torah portions that sound like very weird vacation routes. As a Shabbat regular joked during our livestreamed service, it sounded like the old-fashioned CAA TripTiks.

In the days before GPS or MapQuest, you went to your local automobile association’s shop. A travel agent would hand you tour books for wherever you were traveling and create a personal set of maps, with highlighted routes, for your journey. With lots of tips for where to stop, eat and how to use your sightseeing time along the way, it was pretty useful. I used those tour books in years past, but my family eschewed the TripTiks; my parents insisted we could read maps on our own.

Considering the long list of places that the Israelites went during their 40 years in the wilderness, it could be compared to a family summer vacation gone wrong. Rather than the fastest, most direct route between two points, the Israelites wandered. In fact, it was their behaviour and relationship with G-d that had gone wrong. This exile and wandering was very much about the journey. In Numbers 32:13, it says: “The Lord was incensed at Israel and for 40 years He made them wander in the wilderness, until the whole generation that had provoked the Lord’s displeasure was gone.”

We often talk in platitudes, like “life’s a journey, not a destination,” but let’s be honest. Most of us want to get places in life – accomplish things and do things properly. We might enjoy hiking or meandering down country roads, but most of us don’t want to see our whole lives as a lot of meaningless wandering.

This issue hit home for me in my recent studying of Tractate Yoma, which is all about how Yom Kippur works. Towards the end of the tractate, on page 86A, the rabbis discuss repentance and the notion of “hillul Hashem” or “desecrating the name of G-d.” Their explanations don’t seem direct at first. Rav suggests it’s like when a public figure, such as him, goes to the butcher, takes meat and doesn’t pay immediately, thus setting a bad example. Rav Yohanan suggests that, if one walks a distance without Torah or tefillin, it indicates a lack of appropriate respect for the Divine.

The tractate continues with when someone’s friends are embarrassed by his reputation, and other examples. Then, finally, a really difficult one: “But one who reads Torah and learns Mishnah and serves Torah scholars, but his business practices are not done faithfully and he does not speak pleasantly with other people, what do people say about him? Woe to so-and-so who studied Torah, woe to his father who taught him Torah, woe to his teacher who taught him Torah. So-and-so who studied Torah, see how destructive are his deeds and how ugly are his ways.” (Tractate Yoma 86a)

There it is, the person who disgraces G-d’s name and struggles when seeking repentance on Yom Kippur. This is because, despite a clear road map of how to behave, he got very lost on his way.

All of the examples touch on how we behave in community, and how it reflects on us and affects others. Shaming oneself or harming others disgraces G-d’s name because, well, we’re all made in G-d’s image. We should know better.

Many of us are still taking summer adventures, but it was helpful for me to read about finding one’s way more existentially, and to consider Yom Kippur. It had remarkable relevance to something else that happened.

Recently, we were involved in what would have been a big real estate purchase for our household. My kids and husband were very excited. We made tons of plans and, like the careful tourists we are, we had the routes on our “roadmaps” highlighted. We knew which steps we had to get through, and how to proceed. This was to be our summer adventure.

However, the experience proved far more challenging than usual – and no map would have helped. In the end, we learned that the seller’s finances were so tangled and she owed so much money that the sale couldn’t go through. Like the story in Tractate Yoma, it felt embarrassing and upsetting. It’s hard to see a person fall off the path that most of us expect to take.

We don’t think of closing an open construction permit or paying property tax bills as being central to our life journeys. Yet, just like the poor behaviour that caused G-d to get angry at the Israelites, sometimes our missteps cause a lot of misery down the line, and to other people.

Being an upstanding person, who promptly pays bills and deals with the chores of adulthood, doesn’t just reflect on one’s own character. As the rabbis pointed out, behaving properly avoids embarrassing others or setting a bad example. It reminds us to talk about “Torah,” or generally upright things. We should apply what we learn – to behave kindly and ethically towards others all the time.

When someone doesn’t do this, it’s not just an issue of seeking individual repentance and everything is fixed. The ramifications go beyond an individual’s bad behaviour. It turns out that not paying taxes or taking care of household maintenance affects many others nearby in a community.

When this failed real estate deal happened, it wasn’t our fault. It felt, I explained to my parents, like we’d put our car in a parking lot with an invisible sinkhole. When the sinkhole opened up, all the cars, including ours, fell in. When we got to the (imagined) parking lot, all was lost, but there was nothing we could have done. We couldn’t have known that this experience would derail us from our journey.

I can’t lie. Being thrown off the highlighted route was disconcerting. I kept thinking about how the car’s GPS voice says “recalculating” when we’re driving and get lost. It’s taken me nearly a week to process the failed home purchase. Now, we must create a new metaphorical summer destination, with fun activities for our kids.

We can’t always control our path. Maybe that’s why those platitudes mention “the journey” instead. While we focus on our destination, the lake or camping or a staycation, it’s so important to think about how we behave and live along the way. Our actions can affect everybody.

I took a long walk with my dog on Shabbat, and spoke with three separate neighbours. They all needed the company and the conversation. Was this one of my new stops, on an entirely different path?

The Israelites wandered 40 years to get to the Promised Land. Sometimes, the things we do along the way are the most important part after all.

הסייף הישראלי שאול גורדון ישתתף באולימפיאדת מטעם קנדה

הסייף הישראלי שאול גורדון, ייצג את קנדה בתחרויות הסיף באולימפיאדת טוקיו שתתקיים בחודש הבא (יולי), ביחד עם 11 סייפים קנדים נוספים.

בניגוד לשאול, אחיו הצעירים מתי גורדון שמשחק רוגבי שביעיות ותמר גורדון שמתחרה אף היא בסיף, משתייכים דווקא לנבחרות ישראל. משפחת גורדון כולה גרה כאן בקנדה: האב אליהו גורדון עובד בממשלה הפדרלית בוונקובר, האם מוניקה גורדון מלמדת באוניברסיטת יו.בי.סי שבעיר, שאול לומד במונטריאול שקוויבק, מתי לומד בקינגסטון שבאונטריו ואילו תמר גרה עדיין עם ההורים בוונקובר.

שאול גורדון יליד תל אביב בן ה-26, גר בוונקובר מאז בגיל עשר. הוא סיים תואר ראשון

בשפה וספרות צרפתית באוניברסיטת פנסילבניה בפילדלפיה ב-2016. אחרי מכן עבר למונטריאול ללמוד בפקולטה למשפטים באוניברסיטת מקגיל. השנה סיים לימודי תואר מתקדם במשפטים והוא מתמחה בחוקי חלל ותעופה.

גורדון עזב את ישראל בגיל ארבע ועבר עם משפחתו לטורינו שבאיטליה. בגיל שבע החל להתאמן בסיף בסגנון חרב. כשהיה בן 10 עברה המשפחה לקנדה. הוא משתייך לנבחרת קנדה מאז 2011. נבחרת הקנדית הגיעה עימו למקום השני במשחקי פאן אמריקה טורונטו ב-2015. גורדון הגיע למקום השני באליפות האמריקות בהוואנה ב-2018. הוא זכה באליפות ישראל וכן במקום השלישי במשחקי פאן אמריקה בלימה ב-2019. ואילו נבחרת קנדה הגיעה עמו באותם משחקים למקום השני. גורדון זכה במקום השמיני באליפות העולם בבודפשט ב-2019 וזה בעצם ההישג הגדול ביותר בקריירה שלו. כיום הוא מדורג במקום ה-22 בדירוג העולמי.

– איך ההרגשה להגיע אולימפיאדה?

“אני מרגיש טוב מאוד וזו הפעם הראשונה שלי באולימפיאדה. אך המטרה שלי למשחקים השתנתה לאחר הדחייה בשנה. אשתקד רציתי רק להגיע למשחקים. עתה היה לי זמן לחשוב על ציפיות גבוהות יותר. מה אני רוצה לעשות בטוקיו? האם רק להשתתף למשך חמש דקות במשחק אחד? או להשיג אחת מהמדליות שזו בעצם המטרה שלי עכשיו”.

– מה היו ההכנות בעידן המגפה?

“האימונים בראשית השנה התקיימו רק בקנדה בגלל המגבלות. החל ממארס אחרי כשנה ללא תחרויות, התחלתי להשתתף סוף סוף בתחרות בינלאומיות. בקנדה יש מערכת טובה לאימונים אך חסרים מתחרים. אני עושה הרבה אימונים טכניים ופיזיים. מתאמן פיזית ארבעה פעמים בשבוע ועובד על הטכניקה שש פעמים בשבוע. האימונים שלי נערכים במכון הלאומי לספורט במונטריאול”.
– איך אתה מרגיש כאשר אתה מייצג את קנדה ולא את ישראל?

“אני מרגיש ישראלי אך גם קנדי באותו זמן. אני מרגיש מחויבות לייצג את קנדה

במשחקים. המאמנים שלי קנדיים, המאמנים האחראים להכנות הפיזיות קנדיים, חברי משלחת, האדמיניסטרציה, הפסיכולוגים הספורטיביים והמומחים לתזונה – כולם מכאן. אני רוצה להמשיך ולייצג אותם ולהפוך אותם גאים בהישגים שלי. מזה תשע שנים שאני בנבחרת קנדה: בשנתיים הראשונות ייצגתי את הנוער ומאז 2013 אני בבוגרים”.

– תמר אחותך לעומתך מייצגת את נבחרת ישראל בסיף

“זו הייתה החלטה חכמה ומתאימה לה. היא למדה בצרפת במשך שנה ב-2019 והיה לה קשה לייצג את קנדה משם. לעומת זאת בתור סייפת ישראלית היא יכלה להשתתף ביותר תחרויות באירופה. וכן לקבל תמיכה כספית שזה מאוד חשוב בסיף. תמר מתחרה בסגנון חרב כמוני והיא פשוט יותר מוכשרת ממני ואף נמצאת בדרגה גבוהה ממני. אנו מתאמנים יחד כאשר אני מגיע לוונקובר. תמר כיום בת 17 והיא נחשבת לספורטאית מאוד חזקה. היא מתחרה עם בנים כי אין בנות ברמתה”.

תמר גורדון, כשהייתה בת 15, כמו אחיה הגדול שאול, זכתה גם כן באותה אליפות ישראל (2019) בתחרות לבוגרות למרות גילה הצעיר. היא אמורה לסיים את לימודי התיכון בעוד כשנה וחצי ולאחר מכן תלמד כנראה באחת האוניברסיטאות בארה”ב. בין ההישגים הבולטים ביותר שלה: מקום ראשון באליפות צרפת לקדטים (על גיל 17) ב-2019 וכן מקום השלישי באליפות אירופה לקדטים בקרואטיה אשתקד.

תמר על התתשפותה בנבחרת ישראל: “עם נבחרת ישראל יש לי יותר אפשרויות להשתתף בתחרויות סיף אירופאיות. מאוד חשוב לי להתחרות ברמה הגבוהה ביותר כאשר חלק מהסייפות הטובות בעולם נמצאות באירופה. אני מרגישה גם גאה לייצג מדינה כמו ישראל בקנה מדינה בינלאומי”.

– יש לך אח נוסף שגם הוא ספורטאי

“מתי בן ה-23 משחק רוגבי שביעיות. הוא היה הקפטן של נבחרת אוניברסיטת טורונטו כאשר למד בחוג ללימודים אירופיים. כיום הוא בנבחרת אוניברסיטת קווינס קינגסטון, ששם הוא לומד שנה שנייה במשפטים. השנה אין להם עונה בגלל המגפה. והכי חשוב הוא שמתי נמנה על נבחרת ישראל ברוגבי שביעיות”.

מתי על השתתפות בנבירת ישראל: “זה נותן לי היכולת להשתתף ביותר משחקים בינלאומיים וברמה הגבוהה ביותר האפשרית. וכן להכיר כמה שיותר ישראלים ולמצוא חברים. כך אני יכול לנסוע בכל העולם ולייצג את הנבחרת של המדינה בה נולדתי”.

– חברתך יאנה בוטביניק משתייכת לנבחרת ישראל בסיף. איך בכלל הכרתם?

“הכרנו באליפות העולם שנערכה בוושי סין ב-2018. מאמן נבחרת הדקר של קנדה, ויקטור גנצביץ, אותו אני מכיר מצוין, הציג אותי בפניה. גנצביץ הוא הבעלים והמאמן הראשי של מועדון הסיף בוונקובר ‘דינמו פנסינג’, בו התאמנתי במשך 15 שנים. יאנה רצתה ללמוד בארה”ב וביקשה לקבל אינפורמציה ממני. מאז אנו ביחד.

– אתם מתחרים בסגנונות שונים

“כן. אני מתחרה בחרב והיא מתחרה בדקר. החוקים שונים והשימוש בנשק שונה. בחרב מותר לפגוע רק מאזור החגורה למעלה כשאפשר להשתמש בכל חלקי הלהב לדקור ולהצליף. ואילו בדקר אפשר לפגוע בכל הגוף אך רק באמצעות דקירה אחת. אני בחרתי בחרב כי זה סגנון מהיר ואגרסיבי יותר. דקר לעומת זאת יותר מחושב, המתחרים יותר זהירים. משחק יכול להגיע עד ל-20-25 דקות בזמן שבחרב משחק נמשך בממוצע כחמש דקות. בסגנון השלישי,רומח, אפשר לפגוע בחזה, בבטן ובכל החלק האחורי של הגוף, כאשר כמו בדקר צריך לדקור את המתחרה. המשחק יותר ארוך מחרב ויותר קצר מדקר”.

בוטביניק (22) לומדת בימים בחוג למתמטיקה ומחשבים באוניברסיטת קולומביה בניו יורק. היא עלתה מרוסיה לישראל ב-2010 ובגיל 17 זכתה לראשונה בתואר אלופת ישראל לנוער. מאז 2019 היא נחשבת לבוגרת וסיימה במקום העשירי באליפות אירופה. כיום מדורגת בוטביניק במקום ה-68 בדירוג העולמי.

– איך זה יהיה להתחרות בטוקיו ללא קהל לאור המגפה?

“אכן הפעם לא יהיה קהל כך שתהיה זו אולימפיאדה שונה בתכלית. קהל חשוב מאוד בתחרות בסדר גודל כזה כמו אולימפיאדה. יחסר לי במיוחד שחברי משפחתי לא יכלו להגיע אך זה לא בשליטתי.

– מה קורה עם הלימודים שלך במונטריאול?

“השגתי כבר תואר במשפטים ואני יכול כבר לעבוד בתחום אך אסור לי לייצג לקוחות, לפני שאני אעבור את בחינת לשכת עורכי הדין. אחרי האולימפיאדה אנסה להשיג עבודה בניו יורק כך שאוכל להיות עם יאנה. זה גם טוב לסיף. ניו יורק כמובן יותר מעניינת מוונקובר והיא גם מצוינת לעבודה. התחלתי לבדוק הצעות עבודה עם מספר גדול של משרדי עורכי דין בניו יורק. המטרה שלי לעבור בסתיו לניו יורק וגם יאנה אמורה לחזור לשם באותה עת”.

Addicted to streaming

Michael Douglas stars as Sandy Kominsky in The Kominsky Method on Netflix. (photo by Anne Marie Fox / Netflix)

I admit to watching movies and television series on Netflix, kanopy.com, Amazon Prime, TIFF, VJFF and any other website that offers movies and TV shows. I watch Netflix and Amazon Prime on my television set and everything else on my desktop PC. I do not feel guilty nor am I ashamed!

I may never go to a movie theatre again. I like setting my own schedule, I like not having to find parking. I like not standing in line. And I love subtitles. I wear two hearing aids, so, even though I can hear, I sometimes have trouble understanding what the actors are saying, especially if they have accents (I love foreign films). I watch everything with subtitles. What a relief.

Total freedom is at hand. I can stop the show and go to the bathroom, I can prepare a meal and then sit down to eat it while watching my show, I can watch three or four episodes in a row. I am in control! I can start a series and, if I do not like it, I stop watching – too violent, too slow, whatever! I can watch the first season of a series and decide that one season is enough, or I can continue to watch. My record is nine seasons of Doc Martin. Instant gratification you say; you bet!

After one-and-a-half years of COVID-19 restrictions, I can honestly admit that I am addicted to streaming. It has been a wonderful way to be entertained, educated and inspired. I will watch movies, especially foreign films, documentaries and TV series. I now watch much less news on the television. COVID-19 and the pandemic have dominated all newscasts, Israeli politics is getting weird and, frankly, I am tired of seeing Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in need of a haircut.

Raise your hand if you also exhibit some of these symptoms! Ah, wonderful, how comforting to know that I am not alone. By the way, I still managed to create and publish four editions of Senior Line magazine for Jewish Seniors Alliance, do my four physical workouts a week, study twice a week with Hebrew teachers and walk the dog four times a day. I am not a reprobate.

Here are some of my favourite television shows (in alphabetic order):

Amazon Empire: The Rise and Reign of Jeff Bezos: A documentary about the man who changed almost everything. Love him or hate him. Always fascinating.

Blackspace: The most evil bunch of high school students you never want to meet. (one season)

Diagnosis: A documentary that highlights difficult case studies in medicine.

Halston: Elegant and wicked, love the fashion and New York City. (one season)

Jeffrey Epstein, Filthy Rich: A revealing documentary of exploitation and excess.

Lupin: Smart, witty and stylish heist/drama. (two seasons)

New Amsterdam: A medical soap opera of the finest quality. (two seasons)

Nomadland: A woman wanders in her van, grieving her loss, in search of meaningful connections. A soulful and beautiful film.

Shtisel: A warm and delightful view of the ultra-Orthodox lifestyle in Jerusalem. (three seasons)

Snowpiercer: Shocking, violent and riveting end-of-the-world scenario. (two seasons)

The Crown: Queen Elizabeth et al. Just marvelous. (four seasons)

The Kominsky Method: Geriatric best friends, their loves and lives. (three seasons)

Dolores Luber, a retired psychotherapist and psychology teacher, is editor-in-chief of Jewish Seniors Alliance’s Senior Line magazine. She works out four times a week, studies Modern Hebrew twice a week, and is constantly reading books and watching movies. Her motto is “Never underestimate an old lady who can deadlift you.”

Accepting a lack of control

Over a year ago, I wrote an article for the CBC with suggestions for parents on how to stay sane while coping with kids during the pandemic. I did some research, thought about it, and set out some points to follow. Now, all these ideas sound, well, familiar, but it doesn’t hurt to repeat them. I mentioned things like making a routine, keeping up with learning and life skills, getting some alone time, exercise and going outside. I included efforts to have intentional fun, and practising gratitude. As I write this, much of Canada is experiencing the third wave. Manitoba, where I live, is now our country’s hot spot. It’s been a long haul for all of us.

I’ve been struggling with what is “new” when, frankly, much has stayed the same. Even as some of us have gotten vaccinated, we still need to stay home. Like everyone, I’ve gone through periods of feeling anxious, as those in charge waver on how best to keep people safe. Then, the most recent war in Israel and the Palestinian Territories erupted … and things seem even scarier.

It’s hard to admit that we have little control as individuals. We choose who to vote for, or to wear a mask, or to social distance. We cannot individually control global pandemics, violence, extremism or antisemitism. That lack of control can be very scary.

I often retreat into absorbing “flow activities” to keep myself well during such difficult times. Often, I’m cooking, sewing, knitting or spinning yarn. I’m reading or taking long walks with the dog and kids. We’re watching geese and goslings on the riverbanks and spotting woodpeckers and warblers. Taking time to see and make new things can be really good for our mental health, and it’s often positive and productive.

I also continue to study my page of Talmud, usually late at night. I recently read Tractate Yoma 35, which discusses, in part, what the high priest would wear in the Temple, as he does his most holy actions of the year, on Yom Kippur. Everything is spelled out in detail. This is done by the rabbis both to explain what used to happen in the Temple and what perhaps might happen again, if the Temple were rebuilt. Even the cost of the priest’s clothing, which must be paid for and owned by the public, is noted.

The high priest acts for the whole community and, at the same time, these rituals have to be performed by him alone, as an individual. It’s an example of where the entire community must support a leader but has no control over that leader’s actions.

In the midst of this careful recounting of how he is to fulfil his duties, it says in Yoma 35b: “Rav Huna bar Yehuda, and some say Rav Shmuel bar Yehuda, taught: after the public service concluded, a priest whose mother made him a priestly tunic may wear it and perform an individual service … provided he transfers it to the possession of the public.”

The rabbis’ discussion indicates that the tunic the high priest’s mother made him must be donated to the Temple after he wears it. If he is attached to it, this might be hard. Also, it might be worth more than what the high priest’s garb should cost. It’s something a dear one made him, and it could be both emotionally and monetarily valuable. Yet, his mom makes it freely, knowing it might only be worn at this one time, and then donated for wider Temple usage.

Bear in mind what this meant. A high priest’s mother wants only the best for her child and, yet, must submit to the whole community who depends on him. So, she procures the right fibre-linen. She might have to process it, or it might come ready for spinning. She spins enough for a garment on her spindle. (There were no spinning wheels or industrial textile factories back then!) She weaves the fabric, and sews it into the tunic according to the given specifications. Then, she gives all that work away simply for the chance to clothe her son for a short time in her own handiwork for his extremely important event, serving on Yom Kippur on behalf of the Jewish people. This lesson is an ancient one – and, yet, many of us have to learn it over and over.

There’s so much we cannot control. Many huge world events are beyond us. We learn to submit to the experience that we cannot bend to our will. In the meanwhile, though, we can do everything in our power for good, as we see it. We can offer our money, creations and time. We can behave properly and follow instructions … and wait.

Many of my activities feel the same way as that mother’s tunic, although I have no high priests at my house. I spend many hours on meals, making clothing, helping kids learn, exercise, etc. Then, I finish my tasks and give it away. This “disappearing” work makes a difference in the universe, but I’m no closer to controlling the entire pandemic, the unrest in Israel, or beyond.

This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve had as a parent and an adult. We must accept where we are because, in some cases, nothing we’re capable of will control the situation or effect change. However, in the meantime, we can be like that high priest’s mother. We can offer up our love, our handiwork, our peaceful efforts and knowledge. We can expect never to see it again, like that gorgeous linen tunic.

Learning to make things and give them away may be the most important gift. The activity itself is the part that calms me down in the face of so much uncertainty. Last night, I used some knit remnants and my sewing machine and made a lightweight sweater for a 9-year-old. This is an ancient Jewish process, but it’s also another brand new sweater. Tomorrow, he may wear it … in the mud puddles and the rain – and that’s OK, too.

Why is night different?

It was the first night of Passover and I was feeling miserable. By now, I recognize the ache. It’s the one I get when I am thousands of miles away from my family.

Away from the days of being young and just naturally assuming there would be a seder night with family. Away from old familiar melodies and reminders. I remembered when my mum would say a prayer in a funny British accent, or how we would all be tapping our hands vigorously on the table while singing. I’d be sitting with siblings and cousins, playing games with the matzah, sneaking a sip or three of heavily sweetened kosher red wine and counting down the time until we could eat.

Forty years ago, after leaving Israel, I moved to London, where there were always relatives to fill that gap. However, back in the younger days, my Jewish identity took something of a back seat. As a teen in Israel, I always wondered why I wasn’t allowed to join my friends at the beach on Shabbat. As a child, we were raised as Orthodox Jews but, when we immigrated to Israel, some of the traditions, sadly fell by the wayside.

Vancouver eventually became my permanent home and, initially, I’d always worry where I would be spending the Jewish holidays. Frequently, friends and kind strangers invited us to their homes. It only seemed to deepen the family longing pangs.

When I became a parent, my husband and I began to host our own celebrations and seders and we always included strangers and synagogue friends. Fortunately, when my oldest son was 3, we became friends with another family. They knew some family-less people and it wasn’t long before we all celebrated the Jewish holidays together, a tradition which has continued – until recently.

When the pandemic began and social distancing became necessary, holiday gatherings were cancelled. Zooming on our phones became the norm. It was different. Something of a novelty.

A few days before Pesach this year, I glanced at the secular calendar, which indicated Sunday as the eve of Pesach, so I arranged for our kids and partners to come Sunday night. It wasn’t until mid-afternoon Saturday that I realized I had goofed and Pesach commenced that night. By 4 p.m., the sadness had crept in. My sister had phoned from Israel and filled me in on the lovely seder she had attended.

My brother had sent photos. All the well-wishers had phoned and sent greetings.

For the first time in many years, my husband and I would be all alone and unprepared. There was little motivation to do anything. We ordered an Indian (vegan) meal to be delivered. I forced myself to light the festival candles and mutter some prayers. Then, the phone rang for the first time in hours.

It was a good friend. She sounded excited. Although she had hosted many a seder elsewhere, she was holding her first with her daughter in Vancouver, rather than attending an organization’s or other event via Zoom.

“You must come over and see my table! It’s so beautiful! Even just for a few minutes,” she said.

I begged off because we would be seeing our infant grandson the following afternoon and just couldn’t take the chance. Besides, our delivery would be arriving any minute. “Cancel it! We have lots of food here!”

I would have dearly loved to have dropped everything and gone to her house. I recalled how, some 20 years earlier, she and her daughter had attended our seder. We settled on a FaceTime call and sang the Shehecheyanu blessing together.

A knock at the door; our food had arrived. We said goodbye. But my friend’s enthusiasm was infectious. Her phone call, when I so needed to be remembered, reminded me that we weren’t, in fact, alone in the world.

We pulled out Haggadot and some of the seder plate preparations for the following day. Miraculously, there was enough kosher wine to get us to the third glass of wine and the spilling of the wine for the 10 plagues. My husband and I took turns reading while the candles flickered.

Unlike most of our past seders, it was quiet and peaceful.

This year, I really asked myself: “Why is this night different?”

The answer could be lengthy but I do know that, on this particular night, there was a little soul intervention.

Jenny Wright is a writer, music therapist, children’s musician and recording artist.

KDHS honours grandparents

Ivan Decker, left, and Leonard Brody are among the presenters at King David High School’s Golden Thread Gala May 13. (PR photos)

On May 13, King David High School is honouring its “grandparents,” people who have particularly supported the school over the years, in a variety of ways. With the theme “education is the golden thread weaving our past to our Jewish future,” the virtual Golden Thread Gala “celebrates the community that nurtures King David High School, inspires the next generation of leaders and is rooted in the appreciation of Jewish values and traditions.”

The Diamond Foundation is being recognized as an “honorary grandparent,” while the “grandparents” being paid tribute are Gary Averbach, Shirley Barnett, Beth and Leon Bogner, Sylvia Cristall, Marie Doduck, Rose Marie Glassman, Dr. Arthur and Arlene Hayes, Dr. Simon and Rosalind Jacobson, Evelyn Kahn, Tamar Khalifa, Dr. Robert and Marilyn Krell, Lana and Mendy Landa, Norman and Sandra Miller, Norman and Lola Pawer, Dan and Trudy Pekarsky, Yvette Porte, Lyle Pullan, Arnold and Anita Silber, and David and Elaine Youngson. Dr. Robert and Elke Mermelstein are being celebrated as “adopted grandparents.”

“We can never fully show the Diamond Foundation the gratitude they deserve, so we named the foundation as honorary grandparents,” explained gala co-chairs Jacci Sandler, Chana Charach and Margaret Hemingson in an email interview. “Gordon, Leslie, Jill and Lauri have made our school possible. They are foundational, literally and figuratively, for King David’s existence and success. They have not only provided the building in which we live, learn and play but also have provided ongoing support and funding for the Judaic studies program to ensure the ongoing success of the school.

“Over the years, King David has been blessed by the ongoing support we receive from our grandparents,” they continued. “Whether it’s giving of their wisdom, time or financial support, they are always there for us. This gala recognizes them all! All of our grandparents deserve thanks for instilling Jewish values in their children that they are passing on to our students.”

The 19 grandparent families’ philanthropy has ensured that a Jewish education is accessible for every child, said the co-chairs. “The reality is that, without their generous support, we would not be able to provide a Jewish education to every child. It is a time to show our appreciation and thank every one of our grandparents for continuing the golden thread that binds our past to our future.”

Regarding the Mermelsteins, the co-chairs said, “They are passionate about Jewish education and have adopted all of us at King David as their grandchildren. They are integral members of our King David family and provide ongoing positive input and generous support so all students can attend and be proud King David Lions.”

In Judaism, l’dor v’dor (from generation to generation) is an enduring idea, said the co-chairs. “The passing of knowledge to future generations provides both legacy and a story. Each generation passes down wisdom, ancient traditions, rituals and customs. Jewish education values and honours this transmission of knowledge, literacy and skills…. Our grandparents’ colourful tapestry of experiences enrich the lives of students every day.”

The gala program “includes comedy, inspiration, musical performances by King David students and alumni, plus silent and live auctions with incredible items,” said the co-chairs.

Comedian Ivan Decker – who has appeared at the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival and has various TV and radio appearances, including his own comedy special on CTV and Netflix – will emcee the gala. KDHS head of school Russ Klein will interview entrepreneur, venture capitalist, author and media commentator Leonard Brody, co-founder and executive chair of Creative Labs, about “disruption, innovation, and their effects on our world and children.” And entertainment and media executive Howard Blank will act as the evening’s auctioneer. The online silent auction is currently open and will close during the gala. “Items include workout sessions, cooking classes, handbags, beauty and relaxation products, power tools, wine and so much more!” said the co-chairs.

The inaugural Golden Thread Gala was originally scheduled for May 2020, but it was postponed due to COVID-19. “We witnessed so many families in our community that suddenly found themselves being impacted by the pandemic, financially as well as emotionally,” said Sandler, Charach and Hemingson. “This event is so important as it is King David’s major fundraiser and friendraiser. All funds raised will directly impact our students and enable the school to achieve its vision of ‘empowering Jewish minds and engaging Jewish hearts’ by enhancing our fundamental curriculum, educational excellence and vibrant Jewish life programming.”

With respect to the effects of the pandemic, Klein said, “King David has experienced, as a family, the same challenges that individual families have had and yet the students and staff have been so positive and resilient. We have had full-time school all year and, although we have had to adjust our schedule a little, there has been no loss of learning. I feel for the students, though, in that so many of our wonderful experiential programs are on hold. Our Grade 8 Israel trip is now two years behind, our Los Angeles Holocaust studies trip is a year behind, and our school-wide retreats are not happening. And, of course, the students cannot play competitive sports against other schools, which is a big loss for many of our students.”

But, there have been bright spots, too, he added. “Our parent-teacher meetings were better attended and even more personal, and we have been able to reach out more frequently and invite parents to meet via Zoom. Assembly presentations have also been better, as the smaller in-class environment makes more student engagement and participation possible. In sports, we have been very active within the school grade cohorts and added non-competitive co-ed activities like volleyball and soccer, and the students have really loved the fun and camaraderie with each other and their teachers. No doubt, we will be keeping some things that we have learned but all of us cannot wait to get back to having the meaningful ‘extra’ experiences that make school life and learning so very enjoyable.”

Tickets to the Golden Thread Gala start at $36 for entry, with increasingly more benefits at each level. For tickets, more information about the event and access to the auction, visit goldenthreadgala.com. The pre-show starts at 7 p.m. on May 13, and the main event at 7:30 p.m.

Beth Israel hails Dr. Henry

Dr. Bonnie Henry will be honoured at Beth Israel’s gala event May 30. (photo from BI)

Dr. Bonnie Henry will be honoured at the 2021 Congregation Beth Israel gala May 30. The provincial health officer for British Columbia will be given the Keter Ha’bri’ut Award at the virtual celebration.

The term keter ha’bri’ut translates to Crown of Health, and the award has been created “to honour those in the community who have worked diligently, relentlessly and with humility for the betterment of their fellow citizens.”

“The truth is that we couldn’t think of anyone better than Bonnie Henry because, the fact is that she’s literally been a keter ha’bri’ut, a crown of health, for our province in helping to keep us healthy,” said Rabbi Jonathan Infeld, senior rabbi at Beth Israel. “She embodies one of the single most important concepts of Jewish tradition, spreading the word of chesed, of kindness. It’s not only that she cares about the physical health of our province, but I think one of the reasons that she has become famous across the country and the world is because she cares about the humanity of our province as well.”

When the synagogue’s gala committee asked Henry if she would be willing to be honoured by the gala and receive an award, about nine months ago, organizers hoped that the event might be in person or, at least, a hybrid event with some people present and others tuning in virtually.

Instead, the main portion of the event will feature words from Henry, Infeld and others, all virtually, with musical entertainment by Maya Rae. At certain ticket levels, food delivery is included and, for major donors, a pre-event will feature a mixology session, with cocktail kits delivered to the homes of virtual attendees. Henry will share a favourite cocktail recipe of her own.

Henry’s commitment to inclusion and her respect for Jewish traditions impressed Infeld from the moment Henry held her first group conference call with clergy from around the province, about the time the pandemic began.

“One of the things that really touched me,” he said, “was in her very first address to the clergy of British Columbia – I’m not talking about the rabbis, but for the clergy of British Columbia – many, many months ago, as we were entering into the COVID era, she said, we are going to have to have fewer faces and bigger spaces and one of the things that that means is we won’t be able to do in-person shivas for awhile.”

Infeld believes that Henry’s time as associate medical officer of health for Toronto Public Health during H1N1 and SARS outbreaks in that metropolis put her in close contact with the Jewish community there.

Henry’s work is serious, as is the award she will receive from Beth Israel, said the rabbi, but parts of the evening’s program will be lighthearted.

The gala is to be emceed by Dr. Isaac Elias, a young member of the synagogue and a medical doctor who helped guide the synagogue’s response to COVID from the beginning.

The event will be relatively short – about an hour – and partial proceeds will be donated to the B.C. Centre for Disease Control.

Infeld said, “It’s an opportunity for us as a community to say thank you to someone who has done so much for the province and for the residents of the province and embodies some of the most important messages of Jewish thought, being that of the importance of saving lives and of the importance of being kind to others.”

While the virtual gala will be an unusual event, Infeld stresses that the shul is no stranger to Zooming. Since the week the pandemic began, he said, the decision was made “to ramp up our programming, not ramp down.”

“We actually have more programming than we have ever had before,” he said. “In the early days of COVID, when everyone was literally shut in, we had teams of volunteers calling and assisting our seniors, we engaged all of our young adults and they were helping deliver food to seniors, helping them with whatever needs they had, technological, food and beyond.

“We also increased our programming. We never had a daily learning [before COVID]. Now, we have a daily mussar class. What used to be a monthly Lunch & Learn became the weekly Zoom & Learn and now is becoming the weekly evening program known as Prime Time BI. A Zoom Scholars series was funded in part by Harley Rothstein and Eleanor Boyle. One of the things that we’ve seen is participation rates in our services online and our online programs are up anywhere from 30 to 100%, and we’ve been able to maintain that.”

Presenting sponsor for the gala event is the Shay (Shy) Keil Group.

“I am thrilled to be the presenting sponsor for this event, both in support of the Beth Israel Congregation and also Dr. Bonnie Henry,” said Keil. “It is an honour to present this award to Dr. Henry for all that she has done during the pandemic, making extraordinarily difficult protocol decisions and becoming the public face of this pandemic. It is a thankless task that she has assumed since March 2020 and I am so happy that Beth Israel has decided to recognize her.”

For tickets to the event, visit bethisrael.ca.

Louis Brier campaign starts

(photo from thelouisbrierfoundation.com)

This spring saw the launch of the This Year Like No Other, This Year More Than Ever 2021-2022 Louis Brier Jewish Aged Foundation campaign, which is raising funds to enhance care and innovate the program and service offerings for residents of the Louis Brier Home and Hospital.

Early in 2020, the foundation stepped up to assist the Louis Brier leadership in its exemplary response to the COVID-19 pandemic. By doubling the home’s funding, the foundation was able to support the home in keeping its seniors safe and engaged during one of the most challenging years of their life.

The biennial campaign, which started April 19, will run to May 28. With the community’s help, the goal is to raise $2.4 million. Campaign chairs are Harry Lipetz (board president) and Lee Simpson (immediate past president).

The $2.4 million amount is needed to keep up with the home and hospital’s funding needs, which doubled with the onset of COVID-19. While the foundation is well aware of the many challenges of the present time, we believe this year, like no other, and more than ever, we must collectively come together to care for, and give a well-deserved kavod, to the people who built our community for us in the first place. To contribute and create impact where it’s most needed after the extraordinary challenges of the year 2020. To be part of ensuring that the physical, mental and spiritual needs of the home’s Jewish seniors are met.

Louis Brier’s background

In 1945, 14 friends known as the Hebrew Men’s Cultural Club shared a vision to create a home for Jewish seniors in Vancouver. That home, initially built to accommodate 13 residents, was established in 1946. Over time, that modest facility grew, changed locations and expanded its services, eventually becoming the Louis Brier Home and Hospital, which has progressed in step with Vancouver’s Jewish community.

Today, Louis Brier is part of a continuum of care known as the Snider Campus, which also includes the Weinberg Residence, a boutique assisted living and multi-level care residence adjacent to Louis Brier.

The Louis Brier Jewish Aged Foundation provides and distributes funds to the Snider Campus towards maintaining and fostering the well-being of the Jewish aged of British Columbia, while supporting the enhancement of their quality of life based on Jewish traditions.

Some quick facts

The Louis Brier is a 215-bed long-term residential care home serving Vancouver’s Jewish community.
The home and hospital provide three levels of residency (intermediate care, extended care and special care).
Thirty-five residents of the current population at Louis Brier are Holocaust survivors.
Eighty percent of Louis Brier Home and Hospital’s residents are diagnosed with varying levels of dementia.
The Louis Brier has 436 employees – 195 full-time, 101 part-time and 140 casual.
The home and hospital residents range in age from 50 to 103, with the average age being 84.
The Louis Brier is an accredited institution with exemplary standing (2018). The Accreditation Canada survey team spent four days at the facility and reviewed a total of 19 required organizational practices (ROPs), 216 high priority criteria and 295 other criteria, for a total of 551 criteria. The surveyors determined that Louis Brier successfully met 100% of the 551 criteria evaluated.
The Louis Brier was awarded the 2020 Canadian Non-profit Employer of Choice Award.
The Louis Brier is the only facility in British Columbia with a companion program and has the largest recreation team in Western Canada.
The Louis Brier had a single COVID case among residents.

To donate to the campaign, click here. For more information, call 604-261-5550.

– Courtesy Louis Brier Jewish Aged Foundation

Peer service reinvented

To say that COVID-19 has wreaked havoc on British Columbians would be an understatement. The virus has disrupted anything that we would call the normal activities of daily life. Most of us have had to make major compromises: where we go, what we do and how we can avoid getting the terrible virus. These adjustments have had a major impact on Jewish Seniors Alliance clients, who are already compromised by loneliness and isolation.

How we serve our clients and how we support our volunteers has undergone major changes – let’s give it the label “reinventing peer services.” In order to better understand what has taken place, I interviewed Charles Leibovitch, JSA senior peer support services coordinator, and Grace Hann, JSA trainer of volunteers of senior support services.

In the beginning

By mid-March 2020, the first sign of COVID-19 began to show its ugly head. The lockdown left clients and volunteers absolutely unprepared. Persons who were already isolated and lonely found themselves even more isolated and lonelier. As time progressed, clients were cut off from family members who might have supported their relatives through personal contact and social events. This was especially devastating for persons without family.

In many situations, volunteers were their primary contact; their lifeline! Being alone undermines one’s mental health. Being alone exaggerates one’s fear of COVID-19. Most of the clients were cut off from community programs, like adult day care. Spouses who usually spent time with their spouse in a long-term care facility were also cut off. Simple activities like going for a walk and sitting on a bench were curtailed. Elders had depended on having that human connection – having that human touch makes us feel needed and whole.

Volunteers meet challenge

The changing scene called for quick action, initiated by Grace and Charles. Instead of personal visits, the telephone would become the prime instrument of contact between volunteers and their clients. It was necessary to contact the volunteers quickly. Support for the volunteers would be provided by Zoom. This necessitated a steep learning curve for volunteer and client. After all, making and keeping the connection was critical. The three services – peer support, friendly visits and friendly phone calls – had to be reassessed in terms of the neediest clients. Each of the three services’ volunteers had different levels of training by Grace.

In some situations, a certified peer support volunteer was assigned to a person who ordinarily would have had contact with a friendly visitor or a friendly phone caller. Moving from in-person contact to impersonal contact was a major transition – almost like reinventing how support was to be provided. The JSA volunteers made the transition like veterans, with the extraordinary help of Grace and Charles. There was an increase in the contacts between volunteers and clients and an increase in Zoom online meetings to support the very special work being carried out by the volunteers.

Supporting the volunteers

Grace and Charles organized many activities, including outdoor picnics, weekly webinar seminars, a Chanukah party with a singalong and group support meetings every three weeks. The spirit and esprit de corps by the volunteers has been amazing. Volunteers will send cards to their clients as an additional way to keep in contact. Who doesn’t like to receive mail?

Next steps

Challenging times require challenging solutions. Charles and Grace rose to the challenge and proved that, with dedication, imagination and determination, obstacles can be overcome. When the COVID-19 vaccine has been fully distributed, we will establish a “new normal.” This will present JSA, Grace, Charles and the volunteers with a new set of issues and situations. And, as the song goes, “we shall overcome” – they will face these challenges with creativity, empathy and caring.

Ken Levitt is a past president of Jewish Seniors Alliance, former chief executive officer of Louis Brier Home and Hospital, and a past chair of Camp Miriam. In 1985, he co-edited The Challenge of Child Welfare, the first textbook on child welfare in Canada. A version of this article originally appeared in the March 2021 issue of Senior Line.