health

Adding health supports

Matti Feigelstock, left, and Alisa Farina (photos from Jewish Federation)

The Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver is expanding its efforts to address the mental health needs of younger members of the community by forming a partnership with Project L’Chaim, and hiring a new child, youth and young adult mental health worker.

According to Shelley Rivkin, vice-president of local and global engagement at Federation, the partnership with Project L’Chaim, an organization helping adolescents and young adults through life’s challenges, stems from identifying the importance of raising awareness of mental health issues confronting youth and providing professional development for frontline workers.

To this point, stigma has long contributed to people not feeling safe in discussing the mental health issues faced in the community openly; many families, consequently, have felt very alone in their struggle to find the necessary services and supports.

However, as Rivkin explained, “The pandemic universalized and destigmatized mental health issues. More people started talking openly about the anxiety and depression they or their children were experiencing, as well as the challenges they experienced in finding the help they needed. Over the past two-and-a-half years, we heard from schools, camps, Hillel and youth workers in our various organizations that there was a need for an experienced child and youth mental health practitioner who had a visibility in the community and would be able to immediately support, whether it was crisis intervention or short-term counseling, and could be a resource to parents and families, as well as other professionals.”

For her part, Matti Feigelstock, Project L’Chaim’s coordinator, is able to promote teen mental health in the Greater Vancouver community “by bringing programming, training and curricula to the teens and teen-facing adults in our community, as well as mental health professionals.” Through both Zoom and in-person events, she aims to bring more awareness and remove the stigma of mental illness. She also wants to provide adults with the tools to be there for the teens in their care.

“Our curricula for middle and high schoolers provide students with the ‘why’ to live, helping them find their purpose and build resilience to face life challenges,” Feigelstock told the Independent.

Project L’Chaim has a lot planned for the upcoming year. “We have a full calendar of virtual training planned for parents, educators and clinicians on topics from anxiety in children to talking about substance abuse,” Feigelstock said. “We also are looking forward to hosting a mental health day in collaboration with all of the local Jewish organizations, along with an awareness campaign to promote the role every individual has in mental health. Additionally, we are working with the local schools to teach our course, the Happiness Hack, to students, ensuring the conversation continues in and out of the classroom.”

Feigelstock, who has been at the helm of Project L’Chaim since May, has been involved with community service work at several local nonprofit organizations over the past 19 years. She is currently co-executive director of the Mamatefet Community Society, a charity that supports expectant and new mothers. For the past year, she has been a therapist focusing on women and youth at Elevate Therapy.

Project L’Chaim was started through a grant from the Diamond Foundation in memory of the late Steven Diamond. It serves as the Vancouver branch of the Wellness Institute.

“Our partnership with Project L’Chaim creates opportunities for parents and family members, youth workers, teachers and other frontline workers to access opportunities to hear and learn from renowned youth professionals,” Rivkin said. “Project L’Chaim’s connections to the Wellness Institute open up significant educational opportunities for the community. Their excellent publications are also available throughout the community and provide critical information in an accessible manner.”

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In August, Jewish Federation welcomed Alisa Farina to the newly created position of community child, youth and young adult mental health worker.

Rivkin explained Federation realizes that young people who are struggling with their mental health are very resistant to seeking help through formal routes. By establishing a mental health outreach position, a person who can meet them in venues they are comfortable in, Federation hopes to create an environment in which more youth will seek help.

“We know that parents and family members struggle to navigate the mental health system and access the resources they need. This position will support and supplement the existing programs and services already available and diversify the supports available in the community. We want to make sure that parents and family members who are impacted by these issues feel supported and able to overcome the fear and despair they experience as they search for the right programs and resources to help their children,” Rivkin said.

Farina will provide direct support to children, youth and young adults struggling with mild or moderate mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression. She also will provide assistance and advocacy to parents and families as they navigate mental health systems, including consulting with school counselors and other professionals. She has worked for the Burnaby School district for 29 years, the last 10 of which she focused on work with high-risk youth and their families.

“When children or young people experience vulnerable mental health, it affects the individual, family and our community,” Farina said. “Our approach will be to stand with young people and walk beside families by providing direct one-to-one support, family support, advocacy and mental health system navigation in a judgment-free, low-barrier and equitable way. We want to foster resilience and mental well-being in our young people.”

For more information, visit wellnessinstitute.org or jewishvancouver.com.

Sam Margolis has written for the Globe and Mail, the National Post, UPI and MSNBC.

Celebrate good moments

We experienced a remarkably sunny and beautiful spring day this week. It was an unusual day as our twins had a “well-child” physical at the pediatrician’s, something we hadn’t done in several years because of the pandemic. We took the morning off school and work. The appointment was remarkably smooth and quick. There was a park with swings near the medical building, deemed perfect by the kids. The bakery was open on the way home so we got a piece of rich chocolate cake and croissants for a snack.

As I drove my kids to school after lunch, so they could catch the second half of the school day, we all remarked on the amazing weather. There was a tendency then in our discussion to wish away the intense flooding, mud and big snowstorms we’d had in Winnipeg. Flooding and snow have been a huge problem in Manitoba this year, too much of a good thing after three years of drought. We agreed that there was nothing wrong with a good snowstorm, but that the muck we’d lately endured was a drag.

I tried to stop the negative thoughts popping up and ask my kids to please help me just cherish the sunny, warm, new bright green grass moment we’d had. We arrived at school. I walked them across a busy intersection, and drove home.

In the past, our pediatrician trips sometimes might take three hours. It was a combination of complicated medical issues, a wait to be seen, and negotiating the hospital corridors, tests and crowded, expensive parking lots. We used to joke that after returning home with the twins after vaccinations, they got baby Tylenol and we deserved a stiff drink. If you’ve had a history of health challenges, even a “regular” appointment can be stressful and I was exhausted after our relatively smooth experience that morning.

I’ve learned from reading a page of Talmud a day and doing Daf Yomi that my tendency to focus on the details and worry about every eventuality is nothing new. It’s not at all special. The rabbis of the Babylonian Talmud explored every detail when they figured out what the laws and issues could be around Jewish life, law and observance. When the text seemed brief, commentators filled in the blanks. We have thousands of years of recorded details and “what ifs” in our tradition. Thinking about every detail and overthinking every eventuality is a Jewish tradition! It’s no wonder that we may have anxiety over getting everything right and wondering about how things will go in advance – it’s literally part of our oral Torah and identity.

Sometimes these details can mean life and death. While it seems dark to drag this thought into such beautiful spring weather, I was struck by how many generations of anti-Jewish hatred have forced us to be on our guard. Many Jewish families carry two passports or have escape plans ready because they remember that their families have had to do it before: to escape the Holocaust, the Farhud, pogroms, banishments, the Inquisition, and beyond. Heck, after the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, Jews were the definition of the original diaspora, as many were sold into slavery throughout the Roman Empire. Historically, we have good reason to be on edge.

Back at home, after the medical appointment, I was tasked with organizing the first birthday party for our twins in years. Counting up RSVPs resulted again in focusing on the details while reminding myself of the huge gains we’d made. Recovering from what was a traumatic birth experience, with one twin in neo-natal intensive care, is always tough for me to celebrate each year. Despite the big fuss some people make over birthdays, it can be a rotten series of flashbacks for me to manage. I remember the obstetrician’s surprise when he asked how I saw the outcome of my twin pregnancy, which was a struggle. I explained that my goal was to live through it, as that was what Jewish law valued most, the life of the mother. If I came out with one or two healthy infants at the end, well, that would truly be an amazing miracle.

Now, I have two healthy and active almost-11-year-olds. Things change and we must focus on the joyful moment, the present, and enjoy the sunny days we’ve got.

All of these mundane family events happened on May 24, when many elementary school children were gunned down with their teachers in Uvalde, Tex. While my kids spent their afternoon at school in Winnipeg, the news spread that there had been another mass shooting in the United States. While the details aren’t all clear yet, the pattern is too familiar. Many families are being torn apart by horrible, unnecessary loss. Still others will face endless numbers of very difficult medical appointments ahead, for which I feel so much empathy and pain. Everyone should be able to go to school, the grocery store or their place of worship in safety. Every life taken by this awful violence is too many.

Our tradition tells us to cherish every single life, to do everything possible to save a person. Every moment and detail counts when something so precious is at stake. Still, we also have to find ways to pause and savour the details that make meaning. We need to find the moments that give us joy. We’ve got blessings to say, like the all-purpose Shehecheyanu, to embrace those grateful, new experiences and we’ve got specific ones for seeing rainbows, eating delicious snacks, and more. It’s a crucial part of our Jewish identities to use ritual tools to balance joyous, celebratory details in the moment with the real and dark feelings that come from tragedy.

May we all have chances this summer to celebrate, embrace the sunshine, and grow things – and pleasure. May we gather only for good moments.

Joanne Seiff has written regularly for CBC Manitoba and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. Check her out on Instagram @yrnspinner or at joanneseiff.blogspot.com.

Opportunity to be healthier

There’s been much discussion about mental health, physical health and well-being as it relates to the pandemic. This can only be a good thing. It shines a light on something we should all think more about. For example, asking: “How are you doing? How are your family members and friends doing? Do they need support? Are they sad, isolated, lonely or not feeling well?” and actually hearing the responses.

Yet, once we start raising these questions about well-being, we have to acknowledge that we just don’t have the bandwidth or the social and medical infrastructure to deal with the outcomes. Many times, no one has cared, asked or listened when someone has spoken up and said things weren’t OK. It might be new for some to acknowledge that we’re not always “fine” and that there’s often not much professional help available either. (Just look at wait times to get mental health or addictions support.)

Our household had a great weekend recently. The weather was outstanding, warm and sunny, with highs of 20 to 23°C. We had outdoor experiences, with low-risk social experiences. We participated in a friendly neighbourhood cleanup and a big picnic with soccer and badminton. My kids gave me handmade art for Mother’s Day, with notes they wrote themselves. There was time for lots of good food, walks, playing and even some household cleaning. All four of us commented on Sunday night that we’d done so much, eaten well, and had so much fun.

I had so many feelings about this. I, too, loved the sunshine and the weekend’s events. I also felt physically well and energetic, capable of celebrating it all. That said, being absolutely prepared ahead of time, with lists of what we needed for each outing, a schedule, and carefully pre-organized and prepared meals was a lot of emotional labour. Like moms everywhere through the pandemic, I’ve shouldered much of this. When I woke up Monday morning, I was really tired.

The kids went to school. My partner settled down to his online meeting. I threw together food in two slow cookers for dinner and went to my desk – to work and to process my intense feelings. I knew I’d been starved for company. Seeing people outdoors, even strangers, with smiles and an intention to socialize and get to know us, was gratifying. Also, breaking out of our normal cold weather weekend pandemic routine was both fabulous and more work. Choosing to go out and chat with strangers – it was all good but also alien. That strange mix of feelings led me to think harder.

Working, I opened a fascinating listserv email about an informal comparison between Modern Hebrew, Yemenite Hebrew and Samaritan Hebrew. A Canadian engineer named Bahador Alast hosts YouTube interviews for a wide variety of languages in which he explores language, linguistics and culture. In this video, an Israeli speaker of Modern Hebrew, a Samaritan Israeli and a Yemenite Israeli all take apart informal sentences, a sentence of poetry, a sentence from the Torah (and liturgy) and another from the Mishnah (part of the Talmud). They easily code switch between their dialects of origin (Samaritan/Yemenite), Modern Hebrew, English and Arabic. They discuss the origins of their community’s pronunciations and conversational styles, their relationship to other Semitic languages and Modern Hebrew. With focus, they do all this in less than 20 minutes. It’s also done in such a friendly, open way that the moderator, Alast, who does this with many different cultures and languages, mostly sits and listens to the magic unfold.

This content stretched me intellectually, especially my auditory capacity, since I hadn’t heard these differences explained and formalized before. I loved this rare learning moment and the very specific linguistic context and comparison.

My personal realization about the weekend’s events and warmth and my Monday morning exhaustion was that context matters. The reason why it was all so fun was that we came into the weekend prepared. Also, all felt well rested and ready for lots of activity. Since the pandemic started, there has been acknowledgement of women’s household burdens with the cancellation of “regular” activities, but context matters. I had mostly the same burdens pre-pandemic and the normal run of activities made life overwhelmingly busy. The break in obligations allowed me to see the emotional labour in getting everything ready. I now sometimes can get my spouse to take on some of the load. Sometimes, we restructure things or do less.

The pandemic forced us to hit pause in many ways. Hopefully, it’s also opened up moments to make positive changes. People have always asked each other how we were, but did everyone listen to the responses? No. Many of us didn’t even have the time to listen to ourselves. Our own health and well-being can sometimes be hard to figure out. We need that quiet space to contextualize our experience. “Does this hip hurt more than it used to?” a physio might ask. However, if we don’t stop to think about what hurts or to discuss our feelings, experiences and needs, we cannot possibly contextualize them, either.

Judaism teaches us that we’re obligated to one another, in families, communities and society. Yet, if we aren’t listening to one another, we can’t help one another. Whether it’s speaking a common language with dialects or providing one another with mental health and other supports, we cannot lift one another up if we’re not listening or trying. We need to be self-aware to listen to our own bodies, minds and feelings. Then we can listen to and help others, too.

We may have a lot of health issues ahead, from long-COVID, health concerns left undiagnosed and mental health struggles. We have an obligation to recognize that we don’t have the social and medical infrastructure we need to manage it all. It’s up to us to start bridging the gaps. Listening to one another, offering context and support, is a first step. It’s an important opportunity to make things better.

Battling over-diagnosis

Dr. Shoshana Levin Fox’s An Autism Casebook for Parents and Practitioners: The Child Behind the Symptomswill hold you spellbound. Section I is titled “Children.” These first eight chapters are the stories of Jack, Sasha, Annie and others (all the children’s names used are pseudonyms) – children who came into the Feuerstein Institute after having been diagnosed as autistic. They exited with new hope, not only for themselves, but for their parents, who needed their own emotional propping up.

Levin Fox is a psychologist and play therapist who has worked with children for more than 30 years. In addition to lecturing and giving workshops in North America, Israel and Europe, she worked for 25 years in the Feuerstein Institute of Jerusalem, founded by the late Sorbonne-educated Prof. Reuven Feuerstein.

Levin Fox lived for nearly 20 years in Canada. She completed a master’s at Simon Fraser University and a doctorate in counseling psychology at the University of British Columbia. She worked for many years as a counselor in the Special Services to Children and Families program of the Association of Neighbourhood Houses of British Columbia. Levin Fox was awarded a Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada post-doctoral fellowship, which enabled her to do research and practical work in the field of autism at the Feuerstein Institute. Coincidentally, for many years, Hadassah-WIZO Canada were prime funders of the institute’s programs related to autism.

I recommend the book, not just for the moving stories of the children who were saved from what proved to be inaccurate assessments, and not only for the intriguing descriptions of the practices of the Feuerstein Institute, which Levin Fox combined with the DIRFloortime method. This book should be read for its critical message to parents who have received an autism diagnosis – or one of learning disabilities, ADHD, or other emotional, cognitive or developmental challenges – for their son or daughter: Believe in your child. Talk to your child. Keep looking till you find her the best and most appropriate help and hope. Don’t let the “experts” get you down, because a true expert will find the formula to lift you – and your child – up.

The idea of plasticity of the brain, writes Levin Fox, entered mainstream medicine several generations after Feuerstein had intuited and created materials and methods based on that reality. Levin Fox decries the fact that “the diagnosis of autism is used as a sacrosanct truism…. I have found that the term ‘autism,’ as it appears commonly in the field, in actuality is being used to describe children who suffer from a vast range of communication difficulties, from extreme shyness to psychotic conditions and just about everything in between.”

The children whose stories are recounted in this book all made significant progress. Levin Fox writes, “Not every child began to speak fluently, to learn at a normative level and to play happily with friends…. However, it can be safely and honestly stated that, inspired and mentored by the professor, my colleagues and I made a huge difference in the lives of hundreds of children originally thought to be autistic.” She sees them, as a team, as having saved many lives.

Feuerstein sought to find a child’s latent strengths, and what he called “islets of normalcy.” Levin Fox explains that “islets of normalcy” include, among other elements, eye contact, human relationships, symbolic play, curiosity, humour and more.” She emphasizes that helping parents understand their children’s challenges, and not to be fearful and depressed about them, is part of the battle.

In Part II, “Theoretical Groundings,” Levin Fox gives the intense and thorough theoretical background to the success stories, which are plentiful. Six more case studies are interwoven in the text to help bring the theory alive.

This section also describes the roots of Feuerstein’s methods. He began by working with orphan children who had been traumatized after the Second World War, decided there were flaws in the standard diagnostic tests and, rather than focusing on performance, he focused on the child’s ability to develop learning processes.

“Current studies on brain plasticity … scientifically substantiates what [Feuerstein] proposed two generations ago – that brain cells are modifiable and respond to the stimuli of the environment,” writes Levin Fox.

One of my favourite stories is in Chapter 15, where Levin Fox talks about Ben, whom she first met when he was 5 years old. The end of the chapter, with the sub-heading, “Ben’s Epilogue,” describes a chance meeting between Levin Fox and Ben’s parents, many years later, at an airport. “Dr. Shoshana!” they called out, and his mother pulled out her cellphone. “The happy faces of Ben and his wife, holding their newborn son, smiled back at me,” writes Levin Fox. “For Ben, the paradigm-shift had indeed been life-saving.”

I found other words to describe the journeys and miracles of the children portrayed in this book: life-affirming.

And hope.

Toby Klein Greenwald is an award-winning journalist, educational theatre director, teacher and the editor-in-chief of wholefamily.com. A longer version of this article appears at jewishlink.news/features/47241-the-child-behind-the-diagnosis and elsewhere online.

Catch cancer before it starts

Today’s ancestry services, like 23andMe, have made us more aware than ever of our genes and just how important they are, for both our own health and the health of our children. Celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Matthew Knowles (Beyoncé’s father) have highlighted the importance of two genes specifically – the BRCA genes – and their role in the development of hereditary breast and ovarian cancers. Even so, with the risk of carrying these genes in the general population only estimated between 1/400 and 1/1,000, for most of us, these genes seem like someone else’s problem. But, a few years ago, I learned that people of certain backgrounds, specifically those with Ashkenazi Jewish heritage, are actually at 10 times the risk of the general population (one in 40) for carrying these BRCA genes. I then learned that I was BRCA1 positive. I am an Ashkenazi Jewish woman.

In the 1970s, my paternal grandmother, then a young woman, was treated for breast cancer and made a full recovery. She passed away in 2014. When she died, I requested to be tested for BRCA through the B.C. Cancer Agency’s Hereditary Cancer Program. At the time, I was not prioritized for the test because no one in my immediate family had had a cancer that would directly link me to the gene. I was not seen at the time as being “high enough” risk.

But, in December 2017, I received a phone call that changed everything. It was from my older sister. She had recently volunteered to join something called the Screen Project study at Women’s College Hospital in Toronto, which included testing for the BRCA gene mutations. She had received her results and had tested positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation. I immediately registered for my own test. The test eventually came in the mail, I spit in the cup and sent it back. A month later, I received my own call from the study.

I was told that I was also positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation and that my chances of getting breast cancer and/or ovarian cancer were extremely high – about 70% lifetime risk. I was told that I would need to make some urgent decisions about having more children because regular screenings and preventable surgeries were now available to me. It was recommended that I take action immediately because of my age. The study connected me back to the B.C. Cancer Agency’s Hereditary Cancer Program, which would connect me with my medical care team.

The next year would prove to be a whirlwind for our family. Within a month, I was pregnant with my third child. I planned to have a surgery to remove my ovaries and fallopian tubes (a salpingo-oophorectomy) the following year. While all of this was taking place, my sister had gone for her first mammogram. It initially was clear, but more intensive screening (available in priority to BRCA carriers) revealed cancer. I then had to witness my beautiful older sister battle breast cancer and go through a full double mastectomy. She luckily made a full recovery. We then celebrated the end of her battle with the birth of my own child, followed soon after by my own salpingo-oophorectomy, the day before my sister’s reconstructive surgery.

As devastating as those phone calls were, one thing is clear to me – that my sister is now cancer-free and alive because she learned she was BRCA1 positive. I also know that my own BRCA status has afforded me the ability to make life decisions, have preventive surgeries and avoid cancer now and in the future. Although scary to consider, the knowledge of the BRCA1 gene in our family has been invaluable and saved lives.

I now volunteer for a committee in British Columbia called BRCAinBC, which is working to improve awareness of and access to testing for the BRCA genes in people of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage in the province. It is our message that all people with Jewish heritage should consider getting tested for BRCA genes, as new studies show that only half of all Ashkenazi Jewish carriers have the requisite history of cancer in the family that would indicate risk for carrying a BRCA gene.

We also let people know that the best time to get tested is when they are young and healthy – before cancer strikes! Testing for BRCA in your 20s and 30s provides people with many more options to prevent and manage their risk of cancer. Testing is quick, simple, easy and cheap (or free in many cases).

It is just as important for men to get tested as it is for women – BRCA genes are better known for their role in breast and ovarian cancers, but they also significantly increase the risk of many other cancers that affect men, including aggressive prostate cancers, pancreatic cancers and melanoma.

Learning your BRCA status can, of course, be overwhelming, but it also can provide you and your family with the tools to stop cancer before it starts. That’s what it did for me.

Tovah Carr is a member of the BRCAinBC committee in British Columbia. BRCAinBC is an initiative to increase awareness and understanding of genetic cancer risk in the Jewish community and provide support for those who want to get tested and for people found to carry the BRCA genes. For more information, visit brcainbc.ca. For more information on the Screen Project, go to thescreenproject.ca.

קוביד, ההורים נפטרו, מזג אוויר משוגע ומלחמה באוקראינה

בשנתיים האחרונות חוויתי אירועים קשים שכמעטו ולא היו כדוגמתם לאורך כשנות חיי, בישראלועתה בקנדה. כשאני חושב על מה שעבר עלי מאז חודש מרץ לפני שנתיים בדיוק, זה נראה לי הזוי- ממש מדע בדיוני

קודם כל החלה אז במרץ אלפיים ועשרים מגפת הקורונה לצבור תאוצה בכל העולם. תחילה שמענועל כך בסין ולא חשבנו כי המגפה יכולה להתפשט גם למערב ובעצם לכל העולם. אני זוכר היטב אתהנסיעה שלי לישראל לבקר את הורי בתל אביב, בסוף מרץ לפני שנתיים. מצד אחד הם רצו לראותאותי מצד שני חששו שמה אדביק אותם בקוביד, כיוון שטסתי מונקובר, עצרתי למספר ימים בברליןוהמשכתי משם לתל אביב

מאוד שמחתי שהצלחתי לראות את ההורים וכרגיל לשון אצלם בבית. לא שיערתי אז שזו שתהיהבעצם, הפעם האחרונה שאראה אותם פיזית. אבי כבר דעך מכל הבחינות, התקשה ללכת ואףהזיכרון שלו כבר לא היה טוב. לאחר זמן מה הבנו שהוא לקה בדמנציה

באותו שבוע קצר בתל אביב נפגשתי עם מספר חברים טובים עמם אני שומר על קשר שנים רבות, למרות שאני גר בוונקובר כבר שנים רבות. כן הספקתי באותם ימים בתל אביב אף להצביע בבחירותהכלליות בישראל, תוך תקווה להחליף את ראש הממשלה הנצחי של ישראל, בנימין נתניהו. זה לאקרה אז אלא רק לאחר כשנה

הביקור בישראל ישאר בזכרוני לזמן ארוך כי כאמור זו הפעם האחרונה שבה ראיתי את הורי

אני חזרתי לוונקובר בדיוק שבוע לפני שהשמיים נסגרו והופסקו הטיסות למספר חודשים. המגפההחריפה והחיים שלנו השתנו מקצה אל קצה. מי היה מאמין שתופעה מוזרה ולא מוכרת זו תימשךשנתיים תמימות. כל שגרת החיים השתנתה, הפסקנו לצאת למקומות ולצרוך תרבות, נצמדנולטלוויזיה, רכשנו מסכות, חומרי חיטוי לידיים ועוד מוצרים התקפים לעיתות של מגפות

עסקים רבים נפגעו קשות מהמגפה בהם מקום העבודה שלי – חברה המספקת הלוואות למי שלאיכול להשיג אותן באחד הבנקים המסחריים, בשל קרדיט גרוע. בזמן החופשי שנותר בידי והוא היהבשפע התחלתי לצעוד מדי יום שעות ארוכות ברחבי העיר ונקובר והסביבה. מכוני הכושר היוסגורים ולכן החלטתי שאני חייב להיות פעיל כדי לשמור על כושר סביר, וההליכות עשו את שלהן

בתחילה ראיתי איך ונקובר הפכה לעיר מתה, ולאט לאט לקראת הקיץ היא החלה קצת להתעורר, אם כי לא באופן שאני רגילים לו. למזלנו מחוץ בריטיש קולומביה נפגע פחות מהמגפה לעומתאזורים אחרים בקנדה, כך שהצלחנו לשמור על חיים שפויים פחות או יותר

בגלל המצב הקשה של החברה באני אני עובד נאלצנו לפנות לבית המשפט לקראת סוף שנתאלפיים, ולבקש הגנה מפני נושים. אני נרתמתי לעזור להנהלת החברה ושוחחתי ארוכות עם בעליאגרות החוב שלנו, כדי לעודד אותם לחתום על הסכם חדש, שיאפשר את המשך קיום החברה. אכןזה קרה ויצאנו לדרך חדשה, באישור בית המשפט, חברה רזה יותר, עם הרחבה פחות חובותועובדים, ועתיד שנראה טוב יותר

במקביל לקראת סוף אלפיים ועשרים מצבו הבריאותי של אבי הידרדר מיום ליום וחששנו ממהשעתיד לקרות. הוא נפל כל הזמן, הפסיק לקחת כדורים, זכרונו בגד בו, ומצבו החמיר. במהלךחודש בפרואר אלפיים עשרים ואחד הוא נאלץ להתאשפז בבית החולים איכילוב הסמך לביתו. שדםלצערנו נדבק גם בקוביד וידענו שהסיום מתקרב. הוא החזיק מעמד כשבועיים עד שנכנע למגפההקשה הזו. בגיל תשעים וארבעה חודשים הוא נפטר

אני לא הצלחתי להגיע להלוויה בגלל מגבלות הקוביד וראיתי את האירוע הקשה הזה באמצעות זום. לא היה זה פשוט לראות איך קוברים את אבא שלי כל כך מרחוק, באמצעות מסך המחשב

הורי היו נשואים שבעים ואחת שנים והיה מאוד קשה לאמא להתרגל לכך שאבא כבר לא איתנו. למרות החשש הכבד של אחי ושלי, אמא לאט לאט חזרה לעצמה ופיתחה לעצמה שגרת חייםחדשה ללא אבא. כנראה שהרצון האדיר שלה לחיות הוא שהוביל אותה. אמא למרות שמלאו להתשעים ושתיים המשיכה להיות מאוד פעילה מבחינה ספורטיבית, חברתית ותרבותית. האופיהאופטימי שלה עזר לה רבות, להמשיך ולחיות לבד. היא הצליחה לקבל עובדת זרה פיליפיניתשתעזור לה בעבודות הבית, וכדי שלא תרגיש בודדת בלילות. ניהלתי לא מעט שיחות טלפון עםאמא ושמחתי שהיא חוזרת לעצמה, צוחקת, נפגשת עם החברות שלה ועם בני המשפחה השונים. היא בחרה בחיים והחיים והכל נראה מתנהל כשורה

כאן בוונקובר עברנו אשתקד את הקיץ החם ביותר בתולדות בריטיש קולומביה ובעצם בקנדה. החוםהיה בלתי נסבל ולצערנו מאות קשישים וחולים נפטרו. אני לשמחתי יש לי מזגן בבית כך שיכולתילהמשיך בשגרת החיים הרגילה ולעבוד כרגיל. רק בערבים הייתי מוציא את האף החוצה

במהלך חודש נובמבר אשתקד חטפנו כאן מכה נוספת ממזג האוויר: כמות אדירה של שטפונותשגרמו נזק אדיר למחוז, הנאמד בכארבעה מיליארד דולר. כבישים, גשרים, בתים ותשתיות רבותנעקרו ממקום כמו אבנים של דומינו שנופלות אחת אחרי השנייה

אני נערכתי לנסיעה לישראל לבקר את אמי בסוף חודש נובמבר. בגלל תקנות הקוביד הקשות בכלמדינה, הכנתי מסמכים רבים, הצלחתי לקבל את החיסון השלישי של פייזר לפני הזמן ונרשמתילבצע בדיקות קוביד בוונקובר ובתל אביב. שבוע לפני הנסיעה נדהמתי לדעת שווריאנט חדש שלהקוביד – אומיקרון משתלט על העולם. אמי התקשרה אלי בבהלה והציעה לי לבטל את הנסיעה. ואכן זה מה עשיתי כי ידעתי שאחרת אאלץ לשהות בבידוד בחלק גדול של הנסיעה. זה היה מאודמעציב שאינני יכול לטוס ולבקר את אמא שהתאלמנה כתשעה חודשים קודם לכן

בינתיים החורף הגיע גם הגיע לוונקובר ולשם שינוי גם הוא היה קשה ביותר. לא זכור לי כבר הרבהשנים קור נוראי כזה ושלג ללא הפסקה

ואז נחתה עלי מכה נוראית נוספת: בראשית חודש פברואר אחי התקשר אלי בדחיפות והודיע לי כיאמא אושפזה בבית החולים ומצבה חמור ביותר. היא נחנקה מחתיחת תפוח בסלט שאותו היאאכלה. במשך עשרים דקות שהתהה ללא חמצן, כך שהבנו שנגרם למוחה נזק אדיר שאין לא תקנה

יצאתי בטיסת חירום לישראל והספקתי לראות את אמא מחוברת לכל הצינורות שבעולם באיכילוב. למחרת הגעתי לבית החולים מוקדם בבוקר ונתבשר לי שהיא נפטרה. אני זה שנאלצי לבשר לאחילשאר בני המשפחה על מותה של אמא. היה קשה להשתתף בהלוויה ולאחר מכן לשבת שבעהולקבל ניחומים, מבני משפחה, חברים וידידים רבים

אמא ואבא נקברו באותו יום בדיוק הפרש של שנה. בקיצור: איבדתי את הורי בתוך שנה תמימהאחד

לא הספקתי להתאושש ממותה של אמא ואז נחתה על כולנו מכה קשה חדשה: ולדימיר פוטיןהחליט שהוא רוצה לעצמו את אוקראינה ופתח במלחמה נוראית ומיותרת

אני מקווה שאחרי שנתיים הזויות אלה אוכל קצת לזכות בשקט ובשלווה וללא שום אירועים חריגים. זה כבר הספיק לי

Talking neurodiversity

A Feb. 28 webinar explored the topic of neurodiversity, a term that encompasses a wide range of conditions, including autism, ADHD, dyslexia and Tourette Syndrome.

The talk, organized by PJ Library, Jewish National Fund of Canada Pacific Region, the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver, the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver and JCC inclusion services, was part of this year’s recognition of Jewish Disability Awareness and Inclusion Month (JDAIM).

“So often there is a grand stigma that a child has to fit the mold of what society wants of them. Our differences are what make us so valuable and so integral to creating positive change. I am thankful for my differences,” said Margaux Wosk, an autistic artist and entrepreneur, who provided introductory remarks.

The panelists for the evening were Dr. Janet Mah, a registered psychologist; Suzanne Ferera, a family counselor and registered occupational therapist; and Michele Shilvock, a certified behaviour analyst. Lisa Romalis, a teacher who is also a parent of a neurodiverse child, was the moderator.

Mah began by discussing common misconceptions regarding ADHD, or attentive deficit hyperactivity disorder. ADHD, she noted, is the broad term applied to capture three manifestations of the disorder: inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity. She explained that ADD (attention deficit disorder) is an outdated term that would fall into the ADHD umbrella.

Children with ADHD might not be easy for educators to spot. “Often they are the quiet daydreamers that don’t disrupt the classroom, or the highly intelligent kids who are underachieving in relation to their own potential,” said Mah, an associate at the Cornerstone Child and Family Psychology Clinic, a clinical assistant professor in the faculty of medicine at the University of British Columbia and an expert in behavioural parent training and cognitive behavioural therapy.

Another misconception stems from the word “deficit” in ADHD. Frequently, a child’s attention will show signs of inconsistency, rather than a deficit, she explained. That is, a child with ADHD may be able to focus on subjects that are of interest to them. The difference lies within the executive functions in the brain, i.e., the ability to make transitions to a less-preferred task, time management, peer relationships, flexible thinking and emotional regulation.

There is, as well, a misconception centring around the use of medication, Mah pointed out. Many fear that those who take medication for ADHD will suffer a “zombie effect” or be susceptible to an increased risk of substance use. Proper treatment, she said, helps increase a positive trajectory for a person. Grades and behaviours may improve, bringing about more self-confidence and better friendships.

Mah emphasized the importance of external supports or adjusting the environment for those with ADHD. “ADHD is not a knowledge deficit,” she said. “It is more of a performance deficit. Most kids with ADHD know what the right thing to do is; they just have difficulty doing it in the moment.”

Ferera shared with the audience some of the parenting strategies she employs. A practitioner of the “calmer, easier, happier” method, founded by British learning and behaviour specialist Noël Janis-Norton, Ferera works as a school counselor and goes into family homes to help children who have behavioural difficulties.

One of the strategies Ferera uses with parents and teachers is descriptive praise. Rather than correcting behaviour or using vague or over-the-top praise to bring about improvement, descriptive praise recognizes the positive behaviours of a child, such as honesty, hard work and kindness.

“When we say ‘good job’ to a child, we are not giving them any useful information about what they did right so that they can do it again. Also, words like ‘awesome’ are not particularly believable to a child who knows they haven’t done anything awesome,” she said.

Descriptive praise is more specific. For example, if a child is being cooperative, a parent might say to them, “I asked you to put your toys away and, look, you’re putting your toys away.”

“The reason it is so important is that we all, as human beings, want to be appreciated, so, if we can use descriptive praise, it helps children understand that they can do the right thing and that they can do it again,” said Ferera, who believes this strategy can bring about a positive attachment in the parent-child relationship.

Shilvock, who has worked in the field of autism and neurodiversity for more than 23 years, supporting children and families through direct intervention design, supervision and parent coaching, described her approach as a behaviour analyst as follows: “Good therapy should be reflective about how learners learn. I am not about turning children into anything other than into the amazing individuals they already are.”

She, too, underscored the importance of environment and celebrating the diversity in neurodiverse children. Further, she stressed understanding a child’s social skills by gathering information and knowing where the “landmines” or potential triggers are. For example, if a child is attending a birthday party, a parent should find out what the plan for the party is ahead of time. This way, they can ascertain if there are any potential issues and decide if it is best for their child to go there without them or if they should accompany the child.

In concluding remarks, Michael Sachs, executive director of JNF Pacific Region, thanked the participants and recognized the wide range of topics covered in the webinar, as well as the need for more conversations on the topic in the future.

Sam Margolis has written for the Globe and Mail, the National Post, UPI and MSNBC.

New school lunch pilot

Food insecurity by province or territory, using data from Statistics Canada’s Canadian Community Health Survey, 2017-18. (image from proof.utoronto.ca/food-insecurity)

Jewish Family Services Vancouver (JFS), Richmond Jewish Day School (RJDS) and Kehila Society of Richmond are piloting a new food program to enhance students’ access to healthy and nutritious food in a way that promotes privacy, availability and inclusiveness.

When RJDS needed support with their school lunch program after a contract with a former caterer ended, Kehila Society saw an opportunity to work with JFS and create a food program that benefits all families throughout the week, regardless of income.

With start-up funds provided by Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver, once a week, JFS delivers hot meals to RJDS at no cost to the students or their families. These meals are healthy, plant-based, and available to all students. In addition, a community fridge and pantry program is in operation throughout the week. The start-up funds provided to the Kehila Society enabled the purchase of a fridge and pantry cupboard, which JFS, the Kehila Society and Richmond Food Bank keep stocked. Students and their families can access healthy snacks, dry goods, fresh produce and meals during school hours.

“The students at Richmond Jewish Day School have absolutely loved the weekly hot lunches sponsored through JFS and the Kehila Society,” said Sabrina Bhojani, principal of RJDS. “Our parents have also expressed their delight with this program, knowing that their children are receiving a warm, healthy and nutritious meal at school. The research is clear – good nutrition helps our children to focus, concentrate and self-regulate, which, in turn, results in improved learning and student performance.”

Proper nutrition plays a central part in learning, yet one in eight households in Canada struggle to access nutritious food, according to PROOF, a research program investigating household food insecurity – defined as “the inadequate or insecure access to food due to financial constraints” – across the country (proof.utoronto.ca). That amounts to “4.4 million people, including more than 1.2 million children living in food-insecure households.”

Healthy, universal school meal programs play an important role in giving children and families access to nutritious and safe food in a non-stigmatizing manner when they need the support.

“School meal programs can play a crucial role in ensuring that all children … can eat healthy and nutritious foods – which, in turn, supports their ability to learn,” said Lynne Fader, co-director of the Kehila Society. “School meal programs are uniquely placed to address under-nutrition, by promoting healthy diets. Serving a free school meal increases children’s intake of healthy foods, especially among children with lower socioeconomic status.”

“All students deserve access to healthy, safe, nutritious and easily accessible food,” said Ilana Labow, director of food security, JFS Vancouver. “We are inspired by this vision and are committed to helping uplift students’ lives through delicious, good food. We look forward to nourishing this program together and watching it thrive and grow.”

– Courtesy JFS Vancouver

Accessibility seems improved

(image from flickr / Province of British Columbia)

Last November, the American advocacy organization Respect Ability announced some good news. New research it had conducted in 2021 suggested that disability awareness and inclusion was improving in Jewish communities across North America and Israel. According to its most recent survey, more synagogues, Jewish community centres, schools and private institutions are designing programs that consider the needs of people with disabilities. And more individuals are able to find Jewish organizations that support individuals with invisible disabilities like autism and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorders.

Respect Ability’s goal for the survey was to determine the health of disability rights in diverse Jewish communities, particularly in countries where there were laws against employment and housing discrimination. Its last survey had been in 2018, and researchers wanted to know whether accessibility and acceptance had improved in the past three years.

There were just over 2,000 respondents in total, primarily from Canada, the United States and Israel. The overall message was that inclusion and accommodation was expanding. Accessibility for wheelchairs and improved opportunities for individuals with sight or hearing challenges were on the rise, as were outreach efforts for individuals with disabilities in general.

What is more, the number of faith organizations hiring rabbis and staff who had disabilities and, therefore, understood firsthand the challenges of a physical or cognitive disability, had increased by more than 73%. More than half (57%) of the survey-takers also said that the organizations had made public commitments to support diversity.

But the survey also identified a key obstacle: many community leaders wanted to help expand opportunities for inclusion, but “didn’t know how.” Roughly one-fifth of all respondents said that expanding opportunities in their faith communities was limited by leaders’ lack of knowledge or experience in making settings more accessible. This meant, in some cases, that members with invisible disabilities like autism or ADHD didn’t have access to resources or were turned away from programs and activities.

Most of the responses to the survey came from Respect Ability’s home base: U.S. states like California and New York, where laws and advocacy initiatives are different from those in Canada. Only about 7% of the responses came from Canada, where disability rights are protected by the federal Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The survey also did not reveal how much, or if any, of the Canadian data came from the Vancouver area. So, are the survey’s findings reflective of diversity inclusion here?

The last three years have been challenging for many, but particularly for organizations that rely on in-person community participation. The 2020 shutdown of schools, synagogues and community centres due to COVID forced many organizations in the Vancouver area to suspend programs that offered disability-inclusive services. Still, the Jewish Independent found that a number of organizations were able to develop creative ways to maintain their inclusive classes and programs.

Trying to inspire inclusion

In 2018, the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver launched its Inspiring Inclusion grant program to assist community organizations in designing or improving inclusive programs. The grant competition was created as part of its 2020 Strategic Priorities, and it offered up to $2,500 to organizations that developed a new program or idea that would expand disability inclusion.

Four one-year grants, which were awarded in 2020, went to Vancouver and Richmond applicants. Each offered a unique way for engagement, ranging from new educational strategies that catered to individual learning approaches to special equipment that helped expand creative participation in the classroom.

The Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver’s Family Yoga Fundamentals program was designed to appeal to a variety of abilities and offered options for in-person family participation. It later gave rise to a virtual format that attendees could link up with from home. According to the JCC’s adult programs coordinator, Lisa Cohen Quay, Family Yoga Fundamentals integrates adaptable exercises that are non-stigmatizing and fit a variety of abilities. Quay said the program has also been shown to help with pandemic stress and loneliness.

Richmond Jewish Day School turned to music as a way to inspire inclusion. According to principal Sabrina Bhojani, the grant provided funding for specially adapted Orff percussion instruments, or xylophones that could be used by students with special needs. “Music education is an integral component of both our B.C. and Hebrew curriculum at RJDS,” Bhojani said. “Weaving music into [the] curriculum is a meaningful way to help our students develop their Jewish identity and better understand their culture.”

Congregation Beth Tikvah used the funding to help develop Kavod. According to Rabbi Susan Tendler, the program aims to ensure that the synagogue’s services and activities are open to everyone, “regardless of personal physical, financial, or accessibility limitations.” Kavod’s development is ongoing.

Congregation Beth Israel received a grant to create new Hebrew school programming. Beth Israel’s director of youth engagement, Rabbi David Bluman, said the funding helped make the Hebrew reading program more inclusive to children with learning challenges. “We always strive to be [as inclusive] as we can,” he said, adding that many of Beth Israel’s youth programs are adaptable to students’ abilities, such as the use of “shadow” companions who function as a “big brother or big sister” for a child during activities and lessons. The shadow program can be used for age levels. “We want our teens to be as independent as possible,” Bluman said.

B’nai mitzvah programs

Both Beth Israel and Temple Sholom tailor their b’nai mitzvah programs to meet the specific abilities of the child. Temple Sholom School’s principal, Jen Jaffe, said about 10% of the student body have varying needs.

“All b’nai mitzvah-aged children are given the opportunity to have a b’nai mitzvah, and the clergy works with each family to make sure expectations and goals are feasible and met. Each child is given the chance to shine regardless of any disabilities,” Jaffe said. The school also trains madrachim, or helper students, to support students with invisible disabilities.

Beth Israel is also known for its inclusive b’nai mitzvah program, which is led by ba’allat tefilla Debby Fenson. She said the program is designed to ensure that a child, irrespective of ability, can participate in the service: “I think that the expectation is that every child should be called up to [the bimah]. It’s not about how well they read the Torah, it’s about welcoming them into the community.”

Fenson said the community has celebrated more than one b’nai mitzvah in which a child’s medical challenges needed to be considered. In one case, the child, who was nonverbal, was aided by his mother in saying the Shema. “There was clear understanding on his part,” Fenson said. “His mother helped him in forming the words and saying along with him. He was welcomed into the community.”

Leadership by inclusion

Respect Ability’s survey of North American and Israeli Jewish communities highlighted two factors that are often important to creating inclusiveness: the top-down commitment to diversity and a leader’s personal experience. All of the above synagogues, schools and community services – as well as others – benefit from clear initiatives that attract families with accessibility needs and see inclusion as an expanding mission. In some cases, they also benefit from leadership that is open about their own health challenges as well.

Beth Israel Rabbi Jonathan Infeld said he is aware that his willingness to talk openly about his own challenges can help create a supportive environment for others. Infeld was born with a congenital heart defect.

“Unfortunately, I have firsthand experience with health issues that I am happy to share with people about, certainly because I want to be transparent about who I am as a human being…. I would hope, had I been born with a whole heart and not a hole in it, that I would still have a whole heart,” he said, noting that when we’re forced to reflect on our own abilities and limitations, it can inspire empathy for others faced with similar challenges.

One area that was not addressed in the survey was accessible housing, which helps expand disability inclusion. Tikva Housing Society’s very first housing project in 2008 contained accessible units. The organization’s third inclusive property, Dogwood Gardens, opens this year in the West End. This will be the subject of a future story in the Jewish Independent.

Jan Lee is an award-winning editorial writer whose articles and op-eds have been published in B’nai B’rith Magazine, Voices of Conservative and Masorti Judaism and Baltimore Jewish Times, as well as a number of business, environmental and travel publications. Her blog can be found at multiculturaljew.polestarpassages.com.

Care for the caregiver

On Feb. 14, Jewish Seniors Alliance presented the third of its 2021/22 Empowerment Series. The event – Care for the Caregiver – was co-sponsored with L’Chaim Adult Day Centre and the Council of Senior Citizens’ Organizations of British Columbia, and the program was presented by Royce Shook of COSCO’s Health and Wellness Institute and Leah Deslauriers, administrator of L’Chaim.

Gyda Chud, co-president of JSA welcomed everyone and thanked the agency’s partners for participating.

Barb Mikulec, vice-president of COSCO, explained that COSCO is a nonprofit group for seniors helping seniors and that its Health and Wellness Institute presents many free workshops on seniors issues. She introduced Shook, who has been in the field of education for more than 40 years and has worked in curriculum studies. He advises or serves on various seniors committees/councils.

Shook spoke about the stress and burnout experienced by caregivers. In Canada, he said, there are approximately five million unpaid caregivers supporting family members; an economic value of $6 billion to $9 billion.

Caregivers provide both physical and emotional support, he said. This role could involve home management, such as bill paying, grocery shopping, driving to appointments, cooking and cleaning. For the caregivers, they may benefit from a sense of personal satisfaction and a sense of purpose. They learn more about their inner strength and gain a purpose in life by the act of helping. They can help pull family and friends together, but there will be changes in family dynamics and relationships. At times, the recipients of care may be resentful at their loss of independence and privacy.

There is an emotional impact on the caregiver in that they may worry about not being strong enough to carry the load. At the same time, they may avoid asking for help, and this could lead to burnout, Shook warned. There are a number of warning signs to watch for, such as a loss of energy, the neglect of personal needs, trouble relaxing, irritability with the senior and isolation. To avoid burnout, he advised caregivers to learn about the disease or condition plaguing the senior and take any help that is offered for that condition. Know your limits and specify them to others, i.e. family and friends, sharing the burden with them. Make sure to have regular breaks, and talk with others about your feelings.

Communication is very important, he said. Keep up to date on information from the health team. Let the recipient of the care lead, try to be a good listener and maintain eye contact. Always remember that the person has changed, so avoid giving advice or quarreling over minor issues. Do not say, “I know how you are feeling,” but instead say, “How do you feel?” Have a consent form so you can accompany the recipient to the doctor and have questions ready and take notes. There are three major areas of decision-making that need to be arranged with the recipient and not for them, said Shook. These are medical, the need for a representation agreement; legal, power of attorney; and financial, also covered by power of attorney.

Always remember to take care of yourself by accessing, for example, adult day care for respite, home help and community support groups. There is no such thing as a perfect caregiver. Always remember to respond to the present situation and not to the person you once knew. If you don’t care for yourself, you can’t care for others, he said.

After Shook completed his presentation, Eireann O’Dea introduced Deslauriers, who, prior to joining L’Chaim five years ago, was the coordinator of the seniors program at the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver. She has also been active in seniors housing issues and is a family caregiver for her parents.

L’Chaim is one of 12 adult day centres in the region funded by Vancouver Coastal Health. Referrals are made by a caseworker at the health unit and the programs provide stimulation for the recipients and respite for the caregivers.

At L’Chaim, clients arrive about 10 a.m. and have a light breakfast after which the programs begin. The morning may consist of word games, followed by news and a discussion. A full lunch is served during which socialization is encouraged. The afternoon consists of a guest speaker and/or a musical program. Clients are usually picked up about 3 p.m. Any pertinent information is passed on to the caregivers.

L’Chaim is similar to other centres but it is culturally Jewish. It is funded for 13 clients/day, three days/week and costs $10/day. More information is available at lchaim.ca.

A list of resources for caregivers will be made available on the JSA website, jsalliance.org. Also watch the website for information on the next Empowerment program, April 26, in co-sponsorship with Jewish Family Services, and the Spring Forum on May 15.

Shanie Levin is program coordinator for Jewish Seniors Alliance and on the editorial board of Senior Line magazine.