health

Improving mental wellness

Adrianne Fitch is project coordinator for the Vancouver Disability Solutions Network, which is hosting the Mental Wellness for People with Disabilities Forum on Nov. 28 at Heritage Hall in Vancouver. (photo by Adrianne Fitch)

Adrianne Fitch has turned her disabilities into assets. Suffering from severe-to-profound hearing loss and episodes of anxiety and depression throughout her life, she understands firsthand the barriers that people with disabilities face and what could help make life better.

Fitch is project coordinator for the Vancouver Disability Solutions Network, or VDSN, a group of 200 nonprofit organizations and other providers serving people with visible and invisible disabilities. This includes people with physical disabilities, people with a mental health diagnosis, and people suffering from anxiety and depression in a post-COVID world. The network is hosting the Mental Wellness for People with Disabilities Forum on Nov. 28 at Heritage Hall in Vancouver.

“I don’t think the mental health needs of people with disabilities are any different than those of people without disabilities,” said Fitch.

However, depending on the nature of the disability, accessibility can be an issue.

“As someone with a severe-profound hearing loss,” she said, “I would have a really hard time taking part in a group therapy session unless captioning services were available.”

Fitch said many people in British Columbia have faced problems within the mental health system, such as limited access to services, long waiting times, insufficient resources, inadequate service coordination and continuity, and shortages of qualified mental health professionals.

“I think most of us can agree that the COVID pandemic and lockdown resulted in a great deal of isolation and a general decline in mental wellness all over the world.… [W]hen you’re also living with a disability, accessing quality mental health care can be even harder,” she said.

“At the forum, we hope to develop collaborative initiatives to promote mental wellness in our community,” she told the Independent.

Last year’s VDSN forum was on Newcomers with Disabilities. It resulted in a collaborative partnership between MOSAIC and Disability Alliance BC to support immigrants with disabilities receive provincial disability assistance.

At this year’s gathering, Fitch is hoping participants will collaborate to create new mental wellness programming adapted to people with disabilities; extend the reach and impact of what is currently being provided and what could be provided by organizations working together; raise awareness of existing programs geared to mental wellness; and educate families, friends and peer groups on how to support their loved ones to promote mental wellness.

Fitch likes the term “mental wellness” because the term “mental health” is sometimes perceived as medicalizing or stigmatizing something that is universal.

“Our focus for the forum is on improving mental wellness rather than fighting an illness or condition. Whether or not we have an actual diagnosis,” she said, “we can all benefit from practices, strategies and information related to managing our mental wellness.”

In a recent focus group that Fitch led, the people with disabilities participating felt that their mental wellness would be enhanced by exercise and fitness; a place to go to experience spirituality; financial stability; better access to psychiatrists; a compilation of existing services; and education for their families about how to support them.

“I would like to encourage your readers to check in with their friends and family, especially if they show signs that they are struggling with mental wellness,” said Fitch. “Sometimes just knowing you have people in your life who care about you and are ready to lend a hand or a sympathetic ear can make a world of difference.”

Fitch acknowledged that the pandemic was a tragedy, but said it revolutionized her professional life because, for the first time, she could take part in online meetings and events where captioning was provided.

Fitch is a past executive director of the West Coast Mental Health Network, the province’s only completely peer-run organization for people with a mental health diagnosis.

“On a community level, the network allowed me to meet some of the most interesting, compassionate, talented and dedicated people I have ever known,” she said.

The province cut the network’s funding years ago, she said. Today, there are occasional events listed on its Facebook page.

Fitch said she struggles with depression and anxiety but is helped by having many diverse interests, including playing Scrabble, especially with players that are higher ranked than her, and attending folk music festivals.

“On special occasions, like birthdays and anniversaries, I pay tribute to people in my life by writing personalized poetry,” she said, “and I also bake them customized birthday cakes based on their favourite flavours.”

Her other creative hobbies include bead weaving and pottery. She has exhibited her “Creepy Head Menorahs” at the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver. And, once a year, she likes to write Passover song parodies based on her favourite music, especially songs by the Beatles.

Anyone interested in participating in the Mental Wellness for People with Disabilities Forum on Nov. 28, should contact Fitch at [email protected] or go to eventbrite.ca/e/mental-wellness-for-people-with-disabilities-forum-tickets-723149328107. Everyone is welcome to attend.

Cassandra Freeman is a freelance writer living in Vancouver.

Recovery from surgery

Don’t let anybody tell you that recovery from knee replacement surgery is a walk in the park. It’s more like a hobble through hell. A very slow, frustrating, hobble with plenty of hurdles, pain and frustration. But, also, gradual victories and milestones.

My journey started off a bit rocky. One week before my knee surgery, I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and had to get a CPAP machine. Getting used to that is like getting used to having someone hold a pillow over your face while you sleep. And the apparatus itself – think Hannibal Lecter. Three weeks after my knee surgery, I had a bowel obstruction and landed back in the hospital for a couple of days.

As for the actual knee surgery, I had a spinal anesthetic and a nerve block. They also gave me conscious sedation, which, quite frankly, was my new best friend. Until I felt the surgeon cut into my leg, heard the electric saw they use to cut the thigh and shin bones, and felt the hammering. An unnerving experience, to say the least, and not one I’d care to repeat.

After surgery, in the recovery room, a young woman with black-and-green hair came over and announced that she was going to take an X-ray of my knee. As she leaned over me, the lanyard around her neck swung near my face. The strap on the lanyard said “Vancouver City Morgue.” I looked around, paused for a second, and said: “So, is this what hell looks like?” She corrected the misunderstanding and said the lanyard was a joke. I suggested she might want to remove it, lest she scare the next unsuspecting patient.

As for the process of recovery – I realize that each person’s journey is different and the most important piece of advice I can give someone going into knee surgery is this: do not, I repeat do not, compare your progress to others. While some well-meaning physiotherapists and other medical professionals suggested I might want to join a Facebook support group for people who’ve had knee replacement surgery, I strongly advise against this. There are people who will boast that they achieved a 90-degree bend in their knee two days after surgery, while others will bemoan the fact that it’s been 12 weeks and they still don’t have a 90-degree bend. Everyone heals differently and comparing yourself to others will only make you feel crummy. I speak from experience. Don’t do it.

Full recovery from a knee replacement is slow – they tell you it takes anywhere from six months to a year. If you’re an impatient patient like I am, it can be hard. Take the wins where you can, be thankful for every small step forward, celebrate the successes along the way.

Part of every knee replacement is the post-surgery physiotherapy. If I had to compare it to something, it would be like having a 350-pound bodybuilder sit on your newly operated knee, while bench pressing a Ford F-150 full of cement. It is the polar opposite of a pleasant experience. My physiotherapist happens to be a tiny but extremely muscular and strong woman. She’s only doing what she’s been trained to do but, from my perspective, it’s pure torture. Her goal is to get you mobile, bending your knee and active as quickly as possible. Even if that means making you cry and scream during your half-hour sessions. I always thought I had a fairly high pain threshold, but she blew that theory out of the water right at the get-go.

To be clear, I am the most compliant patient anyone could ask for. If my physiotherapist tells me to exercise two to four times a day at home, I do it. Sometimes, it pays off, sometimes it doesn’t. That’s where the frustration comes in. But then you get to a certain point where you wake up one morning and you think, “Hey, I can do the stairs more easily now. How did that happen?” To be sure, there are countless ups and downs during the recovery. The trick is to keep your eye on the prize and know that, at the end of it all, you’ll have a knee that no longer locks or gives out on you.

Recovery would have been much harder had I not had an incredibly devoted husband who did nothing but take care of my every need for more than two months. From helping me shower to doing all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, driving me to physio and doctor appointments, running errands, and taking care of many other things, Harvey was my rock. He never complained but, not surprisingly, he was exhausted. He’s 74 years old and has some medical issues of his own. More than once I suggested we get a cleaning lady, or do more food takeout, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He recently relented on the food takeout, I’m happy to report.

Here are a few things I’ve learned from this whole experience:

Give people what they need and want; not what you think they need and want.
Always express your gratitude for kind gestures, large and small.
Pay the kindness forward wherever and whenever you can.
Use whatever resources are available to keep calm, distracted and positive during the recovery process.
You don’t need to fight every fight. Choose your battles and conserve energy.
Help others as you would want to be helped.
Struggle is optional.

At age 67, I feel like the past few years, with their accompanying health challenges, have been one long audition for old age. Turns out there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that the audition is over. The bad news is that I got the starring role.

Shelley Civkin, aka the Accidental Balabusta, is a happily retired librarian and communications officer. For 17 years, she wrote a weekly book review column for the Richmond Review. She’s currently a freelance writer and volunteer.

Walk for empowerment – Aug. 13

In Canada, one woman is killed in a violent act every 48 hours. The spike in domestic violence that began during the pandemic is not diminishing and instead continues to increase. It has increased in Canada by 27% since 2019.

In Israel, the situation is just as critical. In the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, 20,140 domestic violence complaints were lodged with police, an increase of 12% from the previous year, and, in 2022, the rate of femicide in Israel increased by 50%. In the first five months of this year, 16 women have been murdered.

Join CHW (Canadian Hadassah-WIZO) Vancouver Centre for the CHW Vancouver Walk on Sunday, Aug. 13, from 10 a.m. to noon at Jericho Beach. This annual event raises funds in support of CHW’s SOS – Starting Over Safely – summer campaign to empower victims of domestic violence.

The CHW Vancouver Walk is an opportunity for the community to come together and make a difference. By participating in this event, you will not only support essential programs that empower women to break the cycle of violence, but also raise awareness about the issue of domestic abuse.

The programs supported by this cause are WIZO services for domestic abuse survivors, Michal Sela Forum in Israel and Franny’s Fund in Canada. These programs will:

provide help for parents and families in need of an urgent response,
provide women and their children with specially trained protections dogs,
provide women and their children with the basic essentials to start over safely,
provide awareness materials to help women recognize the signs of abuse,
fund respite summer camp experiences for at-risk youth,
provide access to critical resources, including legal counsel and therapeutic counseling services, and
assist with social and personal support to help break the cycle of violence.

CHW encourages everyone to come to Jericho Beach, where the event will kick off promptly at 10 a.m. To donate and to register to walk, jog or run, go to chw.ca/vancouver-walk (free for kids under 18). Strollers and dogs are welcome. No matter how you choose to participate, your presence and support will make a meaningful impact. Together, we can create a safer and more secure environment for those affected by domestic abuse.

Also, save the date: on Aug. 22, CHW will launch a 27-hour online crowdfunding campaign. Funds raised that day will be matched three more times by a loyal community of donors, the Matching Heroes, so please visit chwsos.ca sometime during those 27 hours and donate.

– Courtesy CHW

Beautiful life despite illness

Rachel Goldman and her husband, Geoff McLennan. (photo by Avi Dhillon)

Rachel Goldman is this year’s Courage to Come Back Award winner in the medical category. She couldn’t be there in person at the Vancouver Convention Centre June 9, but she did accept the honour virtually.

After introducing herself, Goldman said, “Forty months. Forty months! That’s 1,216 days or 29,200 hours. That’s the total amount of time I have spent secluded from the world, due to COVID. Can you even imagine? So, here I am, speaking before 1,700 of you, sharing my story. It’s a surreal and humbling experience, but one that I am striving to embrace with courage and gratitude.”

Goldman explained what it has been like to have been born with CVID, common variable immune deficiency.

“For 40 years, I have caught and recovered from thousands of illnesses – lived through years of isolation and endured the roller coaster that is chronic illness,” she said.

“A common cold is never just a cold. It’s a sinus infection that leads to intravenous antibiotics. It’s a kidney infection that leads to weeks or months in an isolated hospital room. It’s my body triggering anaphylaxis to the antibodies being infused into me. Challenging? Absolutely.

“Not being able to be with you tonight to receive this amazing award in person is just one more of these challenges. I have my incredible father [Paul Goldman] there to accept this award on my behalf. Now, due to his attendance in my place, we will have to stay apart for at least 72 hours in hopes of minimizing my infection risk.

“Life altering? Most definitely,” she said.

“What it hasn’t done is stopped me from doing the best I can to live my life within the realm of what I can make possible, not what seems impossible.”

Goldman and her husband, Geoff McLennan, live in New Westminster and have two young children. A typical day for her starts at 6 a.m. to get their kids ready to go to Vancouver Talmud Torah.

“Once they leave, I am pretty exhausted, so I have to go back to bed and lie down for a couple hours,” she told the Independent. “I try to get outside every day and go for walks around our neighbourhood. With the weather becoming nicer, sometimes I will see a friend very distanced outside on our patio. I get my kids’ stuff ready for the next day for school … try to exercise and rest. I often write and usually have lots of doctors’ appointments, for the most part, over the phone or via Zoom. Then I get ready for my kids to come home. We try to have a normal evening of homework, dinner, bedtime and then time with my husband. Then rest again.”

That’s if she’s feeling OK. “If I am unwell,” she said, “then antibiotics and the meds I have to take to ensure I don’t have an allergic reaction to the meds keeps me mostly in bed. The meds make me feel very ill.

“If the infection is severe, then the antibiotics will require hospitalization, either inpatient or day treatment, to be delivered intravenously through a PICC [peripherally inserted central catheter] line.

“In terms of treatment,” she said, “I give myself weekly subcutaneous intravenous immunoglobulin infusions, which I infuse into my stomach through four needles.”

Because of her health, Goldman, a sports radio and television producer, had to stop working in 2017. She also has had to adapt how she volunteers at VTT, something she loved doing in-person. Unable to go into the school anymore, she said, “I have spent a lot of time volunteering virtually and helping out at home. I think I have become a master at cutting out projects for the school.

“Our Jewish community has been integral to our family,” she said. “Our children’s school has been the one constant in their life when everything else has been very chaotic. We travel 45 minutes each direction every day to bring our kids into Vancouver to attend VTT. We are eternally grateful for the love, support and kindness that the Vancouver Jewish community and Vancouver Talmud Torah has shown our family. They have lifted us up when things couldn’t have been more difficult. In turn, my kids could not feel safer, more well-loved and more connected with the Vancouver Jewish community.”

Goldman is a lifetime member of CHW, formerly known as Canadian Hadassah-WIZO, and has been a supporter of Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver’s Choices event. In her younger days, she attended VTT and went through the entire Young Judaea summer camp system.

Her parents, Paul and Claudia Goldman, are also involved in the local and national Jewish communities. Her mother has been a volunteer with CHW for four decades, in many capacities, including becoming a national president and its lead representative internationally. Her father has served on synagogue boards and as a member of the Federation task force that led to the establishment of the Richmond Jewish Day School; as well, he has been involved with the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs and its predecessor, the Canada-Israel Committee, including as a member of CIJA’s national board.

During the pandemic, said Rachel Goldman, “The only way I could maintain close contact with my parents and my extended family was for them to limit their own activities in compliance with my specialist’s immunological protocols in order to protect me from potential infection. Those precautions are only now being partially loosened by my specialists.

“I had to home-school my two kids for 22 months during the pandemic as per my medical team’s instructions,” she said. “The kids only returned to full in-person schooling in March of 2022.

“If anyone goes into a high-risk environment or is exposed to anyone with COVID, then there is an isolation period of at least 72 hours, as has happened since the gala.

“I am still not able to attend anything at my kids’ school, their birthday parties, dance recitals, etc., any situation that occurs indoors,” she said. “Also, I am not able to travel via commercial airlines currently, which is very difficult since my sister [Naomi] and her family made aliyah eight years ago.”

Goldman wears a mask anytime she leaves her home, which is rarely, unless she is outside with her kids.

“If anyone in the house is sick, masks go on and I am double-masked,” she said. “If anyone is COVID positive, as happened in the last week, I have to leave the house for an extended period of time and we will have to isolate. I have not been inside in public since the beginning of the pandemic outside of medical appointments. I am just starting to have very distanced visits with a few friends now that the weather is getting better. Outside is the best and safest place for me.”

Her immediate family only recently started to take their masks off and, if they go into crowded places, they continue to mask.

Goldman has been to Israel twice for treatment, most recently in January 2020, after two years of constant hospitalizations for infections that stemmed from a sinus surgery she had in the hope of reducing infections. She said her medical team concluded “that the complexity of my condition required highly specialized expertise to determine a plan for continuing treatment, but none was available in Canada…. I conducted an intensive investigation for the relevant expertise, both in the U.S. and internationally, and determined that my best choice was Jerusalem’s Hadassah Hospital. I chose Hadassah because of its reputation as one of the world’s best research hospitals and, in particular, its multidisciplinary approach to diagnosis and treatment.”

Unfortunately, the medical tests – including many not typically available in Canada, as well as a complete set of genome sequencing and genetic testing – were interrupted by COVID. Goldman was urged to return home immediately. “At the time, they did not divulge why but, as time progressed, it became clear that the reason was due to the start of the COVID-19 pandemic,” she said.

Next steps for Goldman would involve establishing a new baseline. Because her current treatment includes the introduction of immunoglobulins extracted from the blood cells of others to boost her immune system, she said many of the tests that look at antibodies give false readings, as they aren’t interpreting her own system. “As a result,” she said, “it will be necessary to take me off all medications in a closely monitored hospital setting to be able to zero in on precisely what is going on with my immune system, in order to determine the best course of treatment going forward.”

The risk of doing this during COVID – and an increase in other respiratory diseases being treated in hospitals – has been too high and Goldman’s medical team is not comfortable with her flying on a commercial flight.

“I am now in the process of working towards re-setting a timetable with Hadassah to continue the process that was interrupted in 2020,” she said. “The logistics are complicated, but I am hopeful that I’ll have some clarity on that very soon so I can restart this process in the hopes of regaining some of my life and freedom back.”

It had been five years that Goldman’s aunt had been wanting to nominate Goldman for a Courage to Come Back Award.

“Finally, while hospitalized over the winter holidays, I agreed,” said Goldman. “I got the call from [chair] Lorne Segal and the Courage to Come Back Awards about winning a few months later … right before my kids’ spring break. I was shocked at first because this was the first time I had ever shared anything about my illness publicly. Even people closest to me didn’t really know the details and extent of my health condition.

“I didn’t realize that the way in which I have dealt with my health condition was something to be celebrated. Once I started thinking about it some more, I was truly humbled and very grateful to be recognized. I realized that this process, for me, was really about giving me a voice and the ability to hopefully help and inspire others with complex chronic medical conditions who are suffering in silence.

“By getting my voice back, it has allowed me to do more than just survive,” she said. “I decided that courage is absolutely something to be celebrated. I want to show my kids that, despite all of the obstacles being thrown at me and our family, we can rise above it all and have a beautiful life.”

Playfulness & laughter

Left to right: Gyda Chud, Carol Ann Fried and Tammi Belfer at Jewish Seniors Alliance’s Spring Forum May 28. (photo from JSA)

The first in-person Jewish Seniors Alliance Spring Forum after a pandemic-imposed hiatus was held at the Peretz Centre for Secular Jewish Culture on May 28. It got people out of their seats, moving about, meeting others – and laughing.

Laughing Matters was presented by Carol Ann Fried, an energetic and inspirational speaker and consultant. She was introduced by Fran Goldberg. Tammi Belfer, president of JSA, welcomed the 40-plus people in the audience. Belfer spoke about JSA’s partnerships with other organizations, but especially with every person in the room and all its members.

Most of us who attended Laughing Matters did not expect to have to change tables, to speak to strangers, to scream at others, and then tell them they are awesome. But this is exactly what happened! The session was a whirlwind of movement, playfulness and laughter. Meeting new people is cause for celebration – to do so in the form of a game involves even more fun.

So, we played games. In one, we each took the lead and, while introducing ourselves, made announcements at our respective tables. How else would we learn that Gyda Chud’s mother would turn 100 next Saturday? Or that Naava Soudack’s daughter would be acting in Henry V at Bard on the Beach this summer?

We also imagined holding a cellphone with a photo of an important event in our lives and described it to the group. We learned about mother-of-the-bride/groom wedding dresses, about grandchildren and about trekking trips. All these exchanges were accompanied by laughter and delight.

We then switched tables and initiated a conversation with a total stranger, with the objective of finding commonalities. Some of us discovered that their tablemates grew up in the same city, same neighbourhood and went to the same school, but they had never met – how wonderful to finally do so!

At my new table, we were asked to complain. About what? My partner, whom I had only just met, complained about American politics, but then found a silver lining about the States. In turn, I complained about Israeli politics, but then described the beautiful country I grew up in. Yes, there are always two sides to each coin. We ended our encounter with a high five, exclaiming: “You are awesome!” It was a nice way to make a new acquaintance.

Throughout the entire session, Fried delighted us with her good humour and charm, her creativity of mind and spirit. Gyda Chud, past president of JSA, thanked Fried for introducing us to new people, new friends and new activities.

Tamara Frankel is a member of the board of Jewish Seniors Alliance.

Positives of being older

While some seniors see growing old as a negative, it really is an adventure, said clinical psychologist Miguel Mendez, a facilitator for the Jewish Seniors Alliance of Greater Vancouver’s Peer Support Services program.

Mendez was the featured speaker at the March 28 JSA-Snider Foundation Empowerment Series lecture, which took place over Zoom. His theme? The “Positive Adventures of Being an Older Adult.”

The program was cosponsored by JSA, Jewish Family Services and the Peretz Centre for Secular Jewish Culture. It was opened by Gyda Chud, coordinator of the JSA’s program committee, and concluded with a Q&A facilitated by Tamar Stein, coordinator of the seniors group at JFS.

Mendez shared how he was close to his grandmother and how well she had organized the last 10 years of her life: she volunteered at a stationery shop, loved to dance with her grandchildren and to travel and visit family; she was passionate about talking with people.

How should we feel about growing older? he asked. Should we be afraid, uncertain, reluctant or should we interpret the changes in a positive way? To get to the answers of these questions, he asked another: What is the difference between an emotion and a feeling? The difference is in the interpretation, he said.

The cultural value placed on beauty and youth contrasts with the wisdom and guidance that comes with aging, Mendez argued. All of us will die eventually and ageism ignores this fact, he said. In his view, we need to regard aging as a gift and an opportunity to age with vitality. Seniors definitely experience loss of energy and of physical abilities, he admitted, but they can maintain vitality with friends and family.

Purpose is the most important part of aging (and life overall), said Mendez. If we lose purpose, we can lose our sense of well-being. Currently, there is an epidemic of loneliness among seniors that can lead to physical and cognitive decline. To try and avoid this decline, Mendez suggested “the three Gs”: grow friendships, good relationships and get along well. We should continue making new friends and developing worthwhile relationships, he said. We need to laugh, have fun and enjoy life – take risks. These efforts will give purpose to life, he said, and attitude follows purpose in making life enjoyable.

In the Q&A, Grace Hann, JSA senior peer support services trainer and supervisor, asked about combating ageism. Mendez said that ageism is learned behaviour and that we should listen to our own values and not societal ones.

Tammi Belfer, JSA board president, asked about strategies to keep a person engaged and participating. While Mendez suggested that people should make an effort to participate in activities, because it is, generally, good for them, people should also make sure to give themselves breaks from taking part, ie. take some days off.

Larry Shapiro, an immediate past president of JSA, stressed that there should be purpose in people’s activities and that people shouldn’t do things just to keep busy. We need to feel fulfilment, he said.

Stein wrapped up the event, thanking the speaker and the 60 participants. She noted that the talk had been recorded and would be on JSA’s website in May.

Shanie Levin is a Jewish Seniors Alliance Life Governor. She is also on the editorial committee of Senior Line magazine.

Caring in times of need

Chaplain Sari Shernofsky (photo by Norwegian Cruise Line)

Earlier this month, Sari Shernofsky described her experiences as a chaplain in a Zoom lecture called Stories from a Narrow Bridge: Meeting People in Time of Need. The talk’s title comes from a quote by Reb Nachman of Breslov: “All the world is just a narrow bridge and the main thing is to have no fear at all.” For Shernofsky, a recent transplant to Victoria from Calgary, those words were a call to pursue training as a multifaith hospital chaplain.

Shernofsky’s talk was part of Kolot Mayim Reform Temple’s current lecture series, Building Bridges: Hineini – Answering the Call to Heal the World. It took place on Jan. 8.

Shernofsky worked in hospital and hospice settings for 15 years, with the objective of offering compassionate care to those in need. She also served as the Calgary Jewish community chaplain where, in addition to visiting individuals, she helped set up support groups and various training workshops for synagogues that wanted to become involved in community care.

According to Shernofsky, to care for others in their time of need – whether it be an illness, end-of-life care or simply to connect with those who are isolated or alone – is not a choice but an obligation she views as a profound Jewish value.

A chaplain provides spiritual and emotional support to people in institutional settings. Healthcare chaplains, such as Shernofsky, are trained to work with people of different faiths. Though derived from a Christian word, a current use of chaplain encompasses the work done by spiritual-care providers. Many who go into the field do so later in life, as life experience is advantageous to the job. Shernofsky had worked in the corporate world before entering the chaplaincy. “I wanted at a certain point to work with my heart and not my head – to [be able to] look back at the end of my life and say I did something to help someone else that was meaningful,” she said.

“Maybe we are the bridge, and we are reaching out our hands to others – that is basically what a chaplain does. And there is a chaplain in all of us, to reach out our hands and make tikkun olam [repairing the world] happen,” she said.

As she explains it, her job was to visit people and let them take her into their world. Among the visits was one to someone she met while studying to be a chaplain. One evening, at midnight, she received a message on her pager notifying her that the daughter of an elderly evangelical man was looking for a Bible so she could read scripture to him. Once brought, the Bible did not create the desired effect, so the daughter asked for a hymnbook. Shernofsky returned with a hymnbook, which didn’t work either.

Silence ensued. Shernofsky finally walked over to the head of the bed and placed her hand on the man’s forehead. “I told him what a special life he led and how loved he was. I talked about the family being around and how much love was surrounding him. As I was talking gently to him, the daughter and her friends started humming ‘Amazing Grace’ in the background. I had a back-up group. And it was the most magical moment, a holy, sacred moment. When it was over, the daughter had a wonderful smile on her face. We gave her a moment that she needed. I walked out of the room at two in the morning and I was higher than a kite.”

In another instance, a Jewish man in his 60s came into the hospital in critical condition. At a certain point, doctors considered removing his life support, but his rabbi objected and he remained in hospital for another month.

“I realized that the family had time during that month to get over the initial shock and get used to the idea. Perhaps more importantly, they did not have to make a decision to pull the plug. And I don’t know how families can do that, and how awful it must be because there has got to be a place in the back of your head that says, ‘What if I hadn’t?’ It was a real learning experience for me about timing.”

She also recounted the lesson she received from a woman who had been bedridden in a hospital for several years. The woman was adored by hospital staff, Shernofsky said. “I learned that, when you have so little, you can still make a difference.”

Shernofsky ended with a few words about medical assistance in dying, or MAiD. “People choose MAiD because they are afraid of suffering, they don’t want to be helpless and don’t want to be a burden to others,” she said. “Maybe some of those reasons are a bit misguided. What happens with MAiD is often poor information. People are not told what other supports are available, like palliative home care and hospice. There are lots of good things about hospice, people are not educated about them and that’s a shame.”

The next speaker in the series is McGill University’s Prof. Morton Weinfeld, who recently published an updated edition of his book, Like Everyone Else But Different. He speaks Feb. 5, 11 a.m. To register, visit kolotmayimreformtemple.com.

Sam Margolis has written for the Globe and Mail, the National Post, UPI and MSNBC.

Reflecting on life of creativity

Earlier this year, Claire B. Cohen published a book of her 30-plus years as an artist. She made it for family and friends, as a record of her artistic legacy.

“Art is a powerful and a creative force of self-expression. To create art is to develop an ability to communicate visually what cannot be expressed in words.

“By creating the process of art, we change the way we see the world,” Claire B. Cohen told the Independent. “In understanding ourselves, we find areas where we feel limited. In understanding ourselves, we stand up for ourselves and can present ourselves authentically to others. An artist’s creation is unique and original to their work.”

Earlier this year, Cohen published a slim volume, mainly with images that burst from the pages, outlining her 30-plus years creating art. We glimpse the range of her work – landscapes, portraits, semi-abstracts, flowers, multimedia collages and a compartmental series, in which colourful abstract canvases were “connected sequentially in a zigzag for using piano hinges.” Flow and fun describe this series, her portraits – both colour and black and white – capture the personalities of her subjects, her landscapes and collages are bold and full of movement but also balance. The book touches on her work as an art therapist.

Originally from Israel, Cohen came to Canada in 1964. She studied fine arts at York University in Toronto and the University of Ottawa, and later earned her master’s in art therapy and counseling from U of O in 1987. She had many solo exhibits and group shows in Ottawa, and elsewhere, over the years. The book takes readers to 2006, with an exhibit list to 2009. She moved to Vancouver in 2012.

“I continued to paint after moving to Ottawa, but my move to Vancouver changed my focus, since joining my family had taken much of my time, being richly involved with newborn grandchildren,” said Cohen. “However, I still continued painting and showing new work in Vancouver galleries, as well as donating paintings to different organizations in Vancouver, such as hospitals, Louis Brier [Home and Hospital], friends, and creating more collages and multimedia-based work. I participated in group art shows and sold some to the public.”

Cohen said her reason for producing the book “was to create a place to keep all of my art as a legacy to leave to my family in remembrance of my story. COVID times were affecting my spirit, my mood was down and … the idea came about to focus on creating the book for my family and friends.”

During the pandemic, Cohen said she started to lose her connection to creativity.

“Friends cut off from each other, as much as children and family,” she said. “I slowly lost my energy and interest, as well as the need I once had to be close to my easel. The paints, the brushes, the colours all lost their meaning and the need I had to paint slowly deteriorated.”

She began to look back at her past, which, she said, “led me to wake up from my dormancy and questions such as ‘what is my meaning of life?’ I discovered my paintings in storage and wanted to create a book.

“I reflected further on my body of work and questioned: why did I dedicate my years to painting? Was there any purpose to it? The answer eventually arrived – yes. There are many purposes to be alive, and work as an artist, investing my life in art. In my case, most of it was to leave a memory to my next generation.”

Cohen’s most recent exhibit and sale was at Britannia Community Centre in 2021. Art can be cathartic, whether one is making it or experiencing it.

“The process of creating art has a great intensity and full force of emotions that lead to a freedom and release when the piece is complete,” she explained. “Looking at these pieces that I created many years ago leads to a sense of nostalgia and a softening of that intensity. These pieces have followed me through many moves and lives, and have a story of their own that has evolved with the emotions that once created them. The language of art cannot be explained in words, the language of these emotions is form, line, colour and brush strokes.”

This language can help heal, as Cohen well knows from her art therapy practice.

“The more we know about ourselves, the more we learn to grow and develop our abilities to stand our ground,” she said.

Describing art as “a powerful and unique way to explore our creative forces,” she explained that people who participate in art therapy use the “materials to express the self and communicate visually,” composing stories. In a group setting, they “collaborate and share with others … connect and integrate parts of his/her inner self, gain confidence and reduce stress in a supportive environment, with the aid of the instructor.”

It was both a dream and a need for Cohen to do art therapy and counseling.

“I realized that art is not just for selling and decorating homes, rather it was a way to find myself, to grow and see who I am, and to help others with their healing.”

To see Cohen’s body of work, go to clairebcohen.wixsite.com/portfolio/home.

Talking about addiction with L

Jewish Addiction Community Services (JACS) estimates that one in six members of the Jewish community in Metro Vancouver – or more than 4,000 people – are in need of support for dealing with substance use disorder. And yet, it is a topic that many of us find hard to talk openly about.

“I grew up around alcoholism in the home. There was shame in the family that dad had a drinking problem, and it affected my childhood, there is no doubt,” said L, who had the courage to speak with the Independent about their experience with alcoholism. “My dad was an angry drunk and he’d be embarrassing in public. He didn’t show up for commitments and didn’t turn out to be a very good father. I got to the point where I didn’t count on him because I couldn’t, and I resolved that with myself at a young age.

“Yet, there was a part of his life that was enticing and rather exciting for me,” added L, now a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and a participant in JACS Vancouver. “When my father would pick me up on a Friday night, we would head to the bar. I thought it was something fun, better than my boring life at home.

“I would be excited to play the bar games and drink Shirley Temples, but I was way too young to be in that environment, way too young to have my views shaped by those experiences.”

Although these tavern trips took place when L was in junior high school, they considered it normal. “I didn’t realize there were no other kids in the bar. It seems weird to me now that no one objected,” L reflected.

L grew up in an environment where Judaism was not talked about much, either. “There was already a stigma within a stigma. There was a great shame about being Jewish. Being Jewish was rarely discussed, the same way Dad’s drinking was rarely discussed. Both topics became elephants in the room.

“I think what I draw from that experience is that I really believe the disease of alcoholism is genetic; it seems to run in families,” L said. “All I needed was that environment to stir up that excitement. My dad had a full wet bar at home, and I just loved it. I was drawn to it like a magnet because I associated it with fun Friday nights when Dad took us to the bar.”

L’s father’s drinking led to L’s mother divorcing him when L was 5. There remained trauma within the home – matters that were not openly discussed – and alcohol presented a means “to take the edge off.”

L established their own relationship with alcohol and began drinking and using drugs as much as possible.

“I was the perfect rebellious child,” L said. “I found ways to drink – whether stealing it from my parents’ liquor cabinet or sneaking out at night to hang out with older kids to drink. I used to hide it in my room. I kept a mason jar of whiskey in my closet.”

As L’s dependence increased so, too, did their obsession to drown out reality. “In high school, I would sneak out to drink and do drugs. I would put a trashcan beside my bed so I would have a place to throw up when returning home. This way, I wouldn’t risk waking my parents, because my bathroom was right next to their bedroom. I was pretty far gone by high school. The more I drank, the less I was interested in life around me. I dropped out of school and then left the house at 16.”

The reliance on alcohol remained for another 10 years. Family members disassociated themselves and L eventually sought help. By the time L “hit bottom,” a phrase used in AA to describe the lowest moment in an alcoholic’s drinking experience, they were “unemployed, suicidal and physically dependent on alcohol to function on a daily basis.”

“I didn’t fashion myself to be that bad, yet I didn’t have any friends left,” said L. “No social network, I was very isolated. I didn’t leave my house anymore. I didn’t check the mail. I couldn’t even go to the grocery store without being drunk or high. I ended up going to a counselor, who thought I should go to an AA meeting. I thought that sounded horrible; I was only 26. AA sounded like it was for a bunch of old men and winos who lived under a bridge. However, my counselor said, ‘It has to be better than the way you’re living now.’”

Though there were struggles initially in attending AA meetings, L picked up a desire chip (sobriety coin) in August 1997 and has not had a drink or drug since, recently celebrating 25 years of continuous sobriety. L remains active in AA, and sponsors others who are looking for relief from their alcoholism.

AA, though it often holds meetings in churches, is a non-denominational program. “I am very steeped in Alcoholics Anonymous and that’s my central connection with sobriety,” L said. “It wasn’t until a Jewish friend in AA told me about JACS that I was able to reconcile my long-standing concern with the Christian side of AA.”

After attending some JACS meetings, L felt relieved that they could talk openly about their Judaism, which had been a sticking point for L in AA. Through JACS, L was introduced to the book Twelve Jewish Steps to Recovery, by Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky and Dr. Stuart A. Copans.

“Just reading the foreword to that book helped me better understand that AA’s founder, Bill W., was only using the God of his understanding, which happened to be based in Christianity, to write the outline for sobriety in the AA literature.”

This realization was a profound moment for L, since they always “railed against [the Christian] part of the AA program,” saying “that never felt right.”

“All of a sudden,” L said, “I realized that AA wasn’t Christian at all, only Bill’s concept of his higher power was. AA allows me to choose the concept of my own higher power, which is based in Judaism.”

Becoming more involved with JACS has opened a whole new perspective for L, which was not found in AA meetings alone. “I couldn’t be more grateful for finding this missing piece of the puzzle at JACS and for the continued support of Shelley Karrel, who runs the Vancouver chapter,” said L, who attributes this shift to becoming more involved in the Jewish community and reconnecting with their lost Judaism.

“I would not have had this spiritual awakening without being more connected to my community and being introduced to JACS,” L said. “Being able to finally connect my sobriety with Judaism feels like coming home for me.

“When I think about my father’s demise – a sad and lonely alcoholic death – I know that could have been my fate as well. There isn’t a day that goes by without being reminded of where I came from and how grateful I am that I survived. I did not have to die by suicide, or alone with a bottle hidden away in my closet. I was given a new life. A sober life.

“Thinking about drinking is the furthest thing from my mind today,” said L. “It used to be the only thing I thought about 25 years ago. The obsession has been removed. I am completely safe and sound when it comes to alcohol now, as long as I stay active in AA and keep on the path of spiritual growth.”

For more information on available resources and support – within and beyond the Jewish community – visit jacsvancouver.com.

Sam Margolis has written for the Globe and Mail, the National Post, UPI and MSNBC.

Dealing with addiction

Rabbi Allan Finkel of Winnipeg’s Temple Shalom spoke about addiction in the Jewish community and Jewish-based recovery during a Nov. 6 Zoom presentation organized by Kolot Mayim Reform Temple in Victoria.

The talk was the first of Kolot Mayim’s 2022/23 lecture series entitled Hineini: Answering the Call to Heal the World. It widened the definition of addictions to go beyond those that are substance-based to include dozens that are behavioural. Finkel also explored new research on the causes of addiction, particularly childhood trauma.

“My name is Allan and I am an addict,” he began. “This was a huge hineini, when I first said ‘here I am.’ This was my declaration 13 years ago. At that time, hineini meant here I am at the bottom of a drug addiction, I am broken and I am open to an unknown path that might lead to recovery.”

That path, starting at Narcotics Anonymous, would take him on a spiritual journey, reconnecting him with his Judaism and leading him to become a rabbi.

For his rabbinical program, Finkel wrote his thesis on addictions in the Jewish community. “I was curious to know what we might learn as rabbis, and how we can carry our journey forward in terms of serving our congregations,” he said. “It is a mental health issue, and there wasn’t very much known about it…. And there are certain issues, particularly within the Jewish community, that made it a topic that I wanted to explore.”

Finkel discussed a 1962 study of the Jewish community in the United States that tried to find out what percentage of the Jewish community was addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. The answer was zero, compared to a 10% addiction rate in the overall population. Clearly, the study indicated a denial within the Jewish community that Jews can also be addicts. A 1995 study in the United Kingdom produced similar results.

Beginning in the early 2000s, research began to demonstrate that, to understand addictions, one needed to look beyond substances and towards behavioural addictions, which can encompass many areas: shopping, food, internet and gambling, among them. More recently: cellphone use, online gaming and video gaming.

From this standpoint, the number of people demonstrating addictive behaviour reaches 47%, according to studies Finkel cited, though he suggested the number is likely far higher. A commonality among people with addictive behaviours is the inability to stop, no matter what harm it does to those around them and to themselves.

Returning to the denial of addiction in the Jewish community, Finkel proposed that one cause is the long-standing fear of shame, which could be triggered by an admission of a problem at a synagogue, Jewish school or other institution. Looking at areas of the Torah, such as the story of Noah, he explained, one sees that “the Jewish denial of addiction is social and cultural, it is not religious in orientation.”

Within the past decade, there has been a broader consensus within Jewish institutions that addiction is not a moral failing, but instead can be caused by the same factors that result in other mood and psychological disorders.

Using the work of Vancouver physician Dr. Gabor Maté, Finkel noted that all addictive behaviour can be traced to something that happened when a person was very young. “Not everyone who was traumatized becomes an addict, but every addict was traumatized.”

One conclusion Finkel draws is the need to destigmatize the word “addiction.” He stressed that an addiction, as stated in the American Psychiatric Association’s 2013 manual on mental disorders, is a means of coping no different from any other mental health disease.

A second takeaway is that adults and not children bear much of the responsibility for addictions; in other words, no child ever dreams of becoming an addict. Children do not have the rational skills to take on and cope in a non-destructive way with trauma that happens to them.

Further, Finkel argued that real recovery is not simply about stopping addictive behaviour, but about going back to one’s past and taking care of the fears and resentments of childhood, as well as the habits that build up over a lifetime.

Finkel told the audience that it has been more than 10 years after his last relapse. He said the rewards of recovery have been immense and have brought incredible relationships with his children, himself and life.

Finkel is an outspoken advocate for interfaith engagement and for the building of strong bridges and partnerships across all denominations within the Jewish community. He currently chairs the Winnipeg Council of Rabbis.

A video of Finkel’s lecture is posted at kolotmayimreformtemple.com.

Sam Margolis has written for the Globe and Mail, the National Post, UPI and MSNBC.

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Some resources

Rabbi Allan Finkel provided this list of resources for those experiencing addiction and those close to them:

Crisis and suicide line: 1-800-784-2433
Jewish Addiction Community Service (JACS) Vancouver 778-882-2994
Mental health support: 310-6789 (no area code required)
Umbrella Society: support, outreach, recovery, counseling, groups, harm reduction and education, umbrellasociety.ca
Our Jewish Recovery: Facebook group, with 16 active Jewish recovery meetings and classes, virtual retreats, individual and group coaching, led by Rabbi Ilan Glazer
Rabbi Mark Borovitz, Finding Recovery and Yourself in Torah: A Daily Spiritual Path to Wholeness
Rabbi Kerry Olitzky and Dr. Stuart Copans, Twelve Jewish Steps to Recovery, and other of Olitzky’s books, including with co-authors
Rabbi Paul Steinberg, Recovery and Jewish Spirituality: Reclaiming Hope, Courage and Wholeness
Rabbi Shais Taub, God of our Understanding: Jewish Spirituality and Recovery

– SM