In times of rising antisemitism and violence, fear is valid. When the world feels like it’s unraveling, anchoring yourself in a deeper sense of purpose can be healing. (screenshot)
Fear is not a weakness. It’s a deeply human response to a real or perceived threat. In times of rising antisemitism and violence, fear is valid. But we must not let it be the only voice in the room.
By acknowledging the fear – whether of violence, isolation or helplessness – we reduce its power. At the same time, we also make space for other emotions, such as courage, care and resilience, to emerge.
There are many things we can do to help us overcome the foreboding atmosphere of negativity and fear that is knocking at our door. Focusing on what we can do, gives us a sense of agency when we might otherwise feel helpless and alone.
There is the physical aspect of fear. It is important to be aware of what is happening as you notice you are feeling anxious, by staying present and being grounded. The brain often races into the future during fear: What if this happens to my community? My family? Me? This kind of “catastrophic thinking” pulls us out of the moment and floods our bodies with stress hormones.
It is important to know how to manage physical symptoms as they come up. Have you ever practised mindful breathing or meditation? Going to the beach and being aware of the beauty of our surroundings is a way to relax the constant noise that comes with stressful thinking. It is important to stay informed, but we often tend to keep scrolling for more information when there might not be anything else available. Learn how to say “dayeinu,” it is enough for today.
Build connection, not isolation
Fear thrives in silence. One of the most powerful antidotes to fear is community; connecting with people who understand your pain and can help hold it with you. It is important to build community to fight isolation. Ask yourself:
• Who in my life can I be vulnerable with?
• Is there a synagogue, support group or mental health resource I can lean on?
• Can I be that presence for someone else?
There is strength in the simple act of saying, “You’re not alone.” It may be that your reaching out to ask for help will in fact help someone else.
Not everyone will be on the front lines of activism – and that’s OK. But each of us has a role to play in healing the world, even in small ways:
• Check in on someone who may be afraid or isolated.
• Wear your Jewish identity with pride – a Magen David, a kippah – if it feels right to you.
• Educate others, kindly and clearly, when misinformation spreads.
• Support Jewish organizations and security efforts.
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, it whispers, “I will keep showing up.”
When the world feels like it’s unraveling, anchoring yourself in a deeper sense of purpose can be healing. Ask yourself where you can make an impact. Do you have a particular skill that may make a difference to individuals or an organization? Judaism has a rich tradition of resilience, moral clarity and hope. Pirkei Avot 2:5 reminds us that, “In a place where there are no leaders, strive to be that leader.” In other words, act with integrity, even when others do not. This is real courage and takes strength and commitment.
Judaism teaches us to choose hope
Our tradition teaches us to choose hope, again and again. Hope isn’t naïve. It’s an act of spiritual resistance. It’s choosing to believe, even with trembling hands, that goodness still exists and that we are its agents. When you are with friends and family, celebrate moments of kindness. Remind one another of stories, not only of loss, but of survival and joy.
Living Jewishly, publicly and proudly, in today’s world takes immense strength. You are not alone in your fear – nor in your resolve. Fear may visit, but it doesn’t get to move in and take over. Our world needs as many of us to be positive ambassadors as we need those fighting antisemitism on the front lines. As Mahatma Gandhi once expressed it, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Shelley Karrel is a registered clinical counsellor in Vancouver; you can reach her at karrelcounselling.com.
Solidarity with and support for Vancouver’s Filipino community have suffused Jewish community events since the tragic deaths at the Lapu Lapu Day Festival in Vancouver April 26.
Eleven people were killed and many more injured, several critically, after a car rammed through crowds at the outdoor festival, which commemorates the historic victory of Datu Lapu Lapu over the Spanish forces led by Ferdinand Magellan in the Battle of Mactan, on April 27, 1521.
Lapu Lapu is celebrated as the first Filipino hero who resisted foreign colonization and the Battle of Mactan marked the first recorded instance of indigenous resistance against European colonizers in the Pacific island archipelago.
A fund has been created by the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver to support affected families and Federation has seconded three staff members to assist the Filipino community with logistical and other supports. Jewish clergy and other leaders, including Jewish Family Services, have been on the scene with support. Vancouver Talmud Torah, Vancouver Hebrew Academy, Richmond Jewish Day School and King David High School have organized a group blood donation campaign. Synagogues have held services.
“This has been an incredibly tough week for our friends in the Filipino community,” Ezra Shanken, chief executive officer of the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver, said at the Yom Ha’atzmaut (Israel Independence Day) ceremony April 30.
Ezra Shanken, chief executive officer of the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver, which has created a fund to support affected families. (photo from Jewish Federation)
He spoke of the many close personal connections between members of the Filipino and Jewish communities.
“We have come together to support our Filipino community from day one and we will continue to do that as long as it takes to ensure that they are secure, safe and thriving,” he said.
The night before, at the Yom Hazikaron (Israeli Remembrance Day) ceremony, Geoffrey Druker also spoke of the tragedy.
“We send our sympathies and condolences to the individuals, families and the Filipino community who suffered horrific losses and pain this past weekend,” he said.
Rabbi Philip Bregman, who is engaged in multicultural and interfaith dialogue, told the Independent that he was among many Jews at several Filipino vigils and solidarity events recently.
“I’m here in support and solidarity for this tragedy,” he told them, “but you’ve got to know how important you are to the centrality of the Jewish community.”
Bregman noted that members of the Filipino community hold crucial roles in the Jewish community. He gave as examples the operational support Filipino community members provide to synagogues, as workers at the Louis Brier Home and Hospital, the Weinberg Residence, as individuals caring for the youngest and eldest in the Jewish community. He added that tens of thousands of Filipino foreign workers in Israel provide support to Jews there, especially the elderly.
Funds raised by the Jewish community and others will assist in the vast challenges facing the Filipino community individually and collectively. There are funeral expenses to be covered, Bregman said, including for those families who are sending their lost loved ones for burial in the Philippines. Many of the deceased were the family’s primary breadwinners and many of the injured will experience damaging loss of income. There will be ongoing rehabilitation and other expenses.
The horrific car-ramming that killed attendees at the Lapu Lapu Day Festival on April 26 was Vancouver’s baptism by fire into a club into which no city seeks membership. This urban gem of “Beautiful British Columbia,” where one can ski down a mountain, sail in the ocean, cycle along rolling hills and relax on a beach on the same day, now also is home to a mass killing event. Life for Vancouverites will never feel as rosy again – nor should it.
As a Vancouver resident and mental health outreach worker who hails from the United States – where such events have become far too commonplace – I can only hope that this massacre will serve as a wake-up call to the province for the need for more mental health beds in the region. Specifically, I pray that this event will lead to the political will to reopen a reformed Riverview Psychiatric Hospital, which never should have been allowed to close in the first place.
While the exact circumstances of what led the individual charged with committing this murderous act remain under investigation, it is established that he had been a client in the Vancouver mental health system. The current broken state of that system is at least in part the result of the fate of the closing of Riverview, which was the only dedicated psychiatric hospital serving the Greater Vancouver area.
Riverview was understood to be rife with abuses. I experienced something similar while serving as a chaplain resident at Washington, DC’s St. Elizabeth’s Hospital from 2012 to 2013, when it was undergoing a years-long settlement agreement with the US government for mistreatment of patients. Instead of following St. Elizabeth’s successful model of investing in the reformation of a century-old institution, elected officials here chose to capitalize financially and politically on Riverview’s deservedly nefarious reputation. They drew upon the understandable outcry over the violations – as well as the contemporary trend toward deinstitutionalization – to justify closing the hospital altogether in 2012. These excuses offered ample cover for what was at the heart of their motivation to close Riverview: saving taxpayer dollars to become endeared with the voting public.
In the 13 years since that decision, Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside has effectively replaced Riverview as an open-air psychiatric hospital. Rather than living in a protected environment, individuals in the greatest need of mental health support are forced to try to survive amid a fentanyl-laced, drug-laden dystopian metropolis. Members of this extremely vulnerable population succumb every day on the streets and in their homes to fatal overdoses of drugs to which their illnesses make them abundantly susceptible. This is an abomination that cannot stand in a civilized nation the likes of which Canada professes to be. Indeed, British Columbia now is the only Canadian province without an exclusive psychiatric hospital. For a province whose largest city – Vancouver –is a hotbed for the suffering and preventable deaths of human beings living with the dual-diagnosis of mental illness and addiction, this is simply inexcusable.
As Riverview prepared to close, community mental health outreach programs opened, partly in the hope of meeting the needs of clients discharging from that moribund institution. Among those initiatives were new, innovative mental health outreach teams, such as theAssertive Community Treatment (ACT) teams on which I serve as a spiritual health practitioner. Despite the best efforts of dedicated professionals alongside whom I am privileged to work on these teams, Vancouver’s “capital” punishment of its mentally ill persists. As I write these words, I have learned that another young client of ours has perished, the latest victim of a broken system plagued by chronically lacking mental health housing and hospital beds – someone whose life might well have been saved by Riverview.
The rebuilding of Riverview hospital will not guarantee that Vancouver will be spared from another horror the likes of the Lapu Lapu Day attack. It will, however, provide some peace of mind to those of us who work in Vancouver’s mental health system every day that our society is taking every reasonable action to buoy the system intended to help support those who are at heightened risk of endangering themselves or others.
As part of my duties for the ACT teams, I run a weekly spirituality group at the Gathering Place on Seymour and Helmcken streets for clients and staff. Each week, I guide attendees through images, poetry and live music as we explore a universal theme. This week, I was prepared to explore the concept of “springtime,” playing such songs as “La Vie en Rose” by Edith Piaf. Like Vancouver’s rose-coloured veneer in cherry blossom season, that plan, too, was shattered by the Lapu Lapu massacre. Instead, we will be making space for individual and collective mourning for the members of the Filipino community, as well as our fellow client who just passed today, by offering a rendition of “A Tree of Life.” This song by Idina Menzel and Kate Diaz commemorating the victims of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh, Pa., on Oct. 27, 2018, will now be used to help make space for the profound need for grief support across Vancouver.
How many more deaths will it take before we break through the mirage of the rosy-coloured hues of British Columbia’s rainforest paradise? Rather, may we grow our own “Tree of Life” here in the form of a new and improved psychiatric hospital on the Riverview grounds. Former Riverview vice -president and assistant administrator Dr. John Higenbottam adroitly mapped out exactly how to achieve this more than a decade ago in his proposal entitled “Into the Future: The Coquitlam Health Campus – A Vision for the Riverview Lands.” (See rhcs.org/media/Into_the_Future_-_the_Coquitlam_Health_Campus.pdf.)
It is high time his advice was heeded.
Cantor Michael Zoosman is a certified spiritual care practitioner with the Canadian Association for Spiritual Care and received his cantorial ordination from the Jewish Theological Seminary of America in 2008. He sits as an advisory committee member at Death Penalty Action and is co-founder of L’chaim! Jews Against the Death Penalty. Zoosman is a former Jewish prison chaplain and psychiatric hospital chaplain. Currently, he serves as a spiritual health practitioner (chaplain) for mental health outreach teams, working with individuals in the community living with severe mental health disorders and addiction. He lives with his family in Vancouver. His opinions are his own.
Left to right: Champion rower Silken Laumann, then-Vancouver mayor Sam Sullivan and Courage to Come Back chair Lorne Segal. Sullivan, who broke his neck in a skiing accident when he was 19, has since founded many nonprofits, held various public offices, and more. He received the first-ever Special Courage Award, in 2006. (photo from Coast Mental Health)
This year’s Courage to Come Back Awards, which took place May 7 at the Vancouver Convention Centre, celebrated four people for having overcome great adversity and giving back to their communities. First as an attendee, and then as chair of the awards for 20 years and counting, Lorne Segal knows firsthand the inspiration these award recipients offer.
“I was inspired by the incredible stories of resilience and recovery that define the Courage to Come Back Awards,” Segal told the Independent. “From the beginning, I was moved by the courage it takes to not only face adversity, but to come through it with strength and purpose. The opportunity to support mental health through this powerful platform felt both meaningful and necessary.”
Segal, who is president of Kingswood Properties Ltd., is legacy chair of the annual awards event and co-chair is Eric Carlson, core founder and chief executive officer of Anthem Properties.
Segal took on the role of chair because he “believed deeply in the mission and saw the potential for the awards to grow and reach more people.
“I’ve stayed,” he said, “because of the lives it touches – both those we honour and those who are inspired by them. Each year brings new stories, new hope and a renewed sense of purpose. It’s been one of the greatest privileges of my life.”
This year’s awards were given out in four categories and the recipients were Stanley Price (addiction), David Chalk (mental health), Louisa Bridgman (medical) and Omar Bseiso (young adult).
Price overcame childhood trauma, addiction and gang involvement, and now works in addictions and recovery, as well as being a volunteer with KidsPlay Foundation. Chalk, who hid that he couldn’t read until his 60s, has become an AI expert and entrepreneur – he is currently developing an AI-trained platform that will help others build literacy. Bridgman, a disability rights activist, lives with cerebral palsy, and has faced childhood abuse and systemic discrimination. Bseiso has faced poverty, as well as physical and mental health challenges, and gone from being a struggling student to a University of British Columbia scholarship recipient, with the goal of becoming a doctor.
“The awards shine a spotlight on hope and recovery, challenging stigma and encouraging conversations about mental health and other challenges,” said Segal. “They remind people that they are not alone. By celebrating those who have overcome incredible odds, we inspire others to keep going – and we build a stronger, more compassionate community.”
Segal himself has been changed by his involvement with the awards.
“It’s made me more empathetic, more grateful and more aware of the quiet strength people carry,” he said. “Being surrounded by such resilience has profoundly impacted how I see the world and how I approach adversity in my own life. It has grounded me and continually reminded me of the importance of kindness and perseverance.”
And it’s a family endeavour.
“It began 27 years ago when my parents, Joe and Rosalie Segal, attended the first Courage to Come Back Awards and were inspired to help found the Joseph and Rosalie Segal and Family Health Centre at Vancouver General Hospital,” said Segal. “My wife Melita and our children, Matthew and Chanelle, have supported me every step of the way – attending from a young age and sharing courage stories in their own lives. Their belief in this cause has made my work all the more meaningful.”
Lorne and Melita Segal at the 2018 Courage to Come Back Awards. (photo by Alex Law from Coast Mental Health)
The cause is mental health in general, but also Coast Mental Health specifically. The Courage to Come Back Awards raise money for the organization.
“Coast Mental Health is one of the quiet pillars holding up those who often feel unseen,” Segal explained. “In the broad landscape of mental health care, we often think first of hospitals, doctors and medication – the primary care that is essential and often life-saving. But what happens after that first step toward healing? Where does someone go when they leave the hospital but still need support, still need connection, still need hope? That’s where Coast Mental Health steps in.
“Coast is not just a service – it is a sanctuary,” he said. “It offers that vital second tier of support: stable housing, meaningful training, compassionate community. It provides a roof over someone’s head, but also restores something far less tangible and even more precious – dignity. With job training programs, resource centres and drop-in spaces where a kind word and a warm hand can change the course of someone’s day, Coast wraps its arms around people who are trying, day by day, to come back.
“Mental health recovery doesn’t happen in isolation, and it doesn’t end at the hospital door. Coast Mental Health understands that healing is holistic. It happens in the safety of a home, in the encouragement of a support network, in the pride of a new job and in the trust of a human connection.
“This is the quiet, essential work of Coast Mental Health – and it is work that changes lives,” Segal said. “It is not just about surviving. It is about returning to life with dignity, with purpose and with courage.”
There have been so many memorable Courage to Come Back moments for Segal over the last two decades. “There are countless,” he said. “Standing ovations for recipients who once struggled to leave their homes, families reunited in tears and the thunderous applause of a community coming together. But perhaps the most memorable moments are the quiet ones: personal notes from recipients saying, ‘You helped me believe in myself again.’”
Lorne Segal has chaired Coast Mental Health Foundation’s Courage to Come Back Awards for 20 years. (photo from Coast Mental Health)
Under Segal’s stewardship, the annual event, which began in 1999, has grown to be Western Canada’s largest gala, with more than 1,700 people attending. It has raised more than $27 million for mental health and celebrated 153 British Columbians. But its success wasn’t guaranteed.
“One of the greatest challenges the Courage to Come Back Awards faced was simply staying alive in its earliest days,” said Segal. “I still remember stumbling across the event 27 years ago – not really knowing where I was going or what to expect. I sat down at a table, noticed a Kleenex box in the centre, and quickly understood why it was there. The stories I heard that evening moved me to tears. These weren’t just stories– they were everyday miracles. I walked out of that room thinking: everyone needs to hear this. Everyone needs to feel this hope.
“But, at the time, there were only a few hundred people in the room. The organization was struggling, and the idea of shutting the doors on the awards was very real. There simply wasn’t enough awareness, enough support or enough belief that it could become more.
“That night lit a fire in me,” he said. “I started telling everyone I knew – sharing the stories, the impact, the emotion. And, slowly, over the years, the event grew.”
As for what keeps him involved, Segal said, “Because it matters. Because it changes lives. Because I’ve seen firsthand the power of sharing stories of resilience, the ripple effect of one person’s courage igniting another’s hope. For two decades, I’ve had the privilege of helping shine a light on individuals who prove, year after year, that no matter the hardship, comebacks are possible. It’s not just about honouring the brave – it’s about showing others what’s possible. And that purpose, that impact, keeps me coming back, too.”
The work gives back more than it takes, he said. “In a world full of noise, the Courage to Come Back Awards are a rare and powerful reminder of what truly matters: resilience, humanity and hope.”
To learn more about the impacts of the awards, which are presented by Wheaton Precious Metals, visit coastmentalhealth.com.
In February, Jewish Addiction Community Services (JACS) appointed Rabbi Joshua Corber as its new director. The Vancouver-born Conservative rabbi spent the last 10 years as a congregational rabbi in Calgary, Vaughan, Ont., and Louisville, Ky., before returning home in July 2023.
“Practically the entire time I was serving congregations, I was in recovery,” Corber said. “Prior to that, I was in active addiction. I’m in a unique position to serve the Jewish community in this way because I have the personal experience of having suffered from addiction, but I also have experience from my congregational service with pastoral counseling and, in particular, people going through severe life trauma. That will be of immense value to me in serving this community.”
Rabbi Joshua Corber is the director of Jewish Addiction Community Services Vancouver. (photo from JACS)
Corber noted that the Jewish community faces an acute risk when it comes to substance abuse. One reason is the misconception that Jews are immune to addiction, but another is the prevalence of alcohol in traditional religious observance. “There’s no religion other than Judaism in which alcohol is so present in almost all aspects of religious life,” he said.
“Alcohol is prescribed, sanctioned and encouraged in Judaism, and not just on Purim,” he continued. “There’s always a Jewish excuse for a l’chaim. For me, as a rabbi, that posed a unique danger because I could always justify it. Though halachic authorities strongly discourage drunkenness, that message won’t be absorbed by the addict, who will make a beeline for the l’chaim table – every single time.”
Corber’s polysubstance addiction, including alcohol, became acute during the pandemic. He said the most concerning addictions, that pose the most immediate threat to life, are opioids and fentanyl.
But, just as Judaism presents a risk in terms of addiction, it also has resources for recovery, the rabbi noted.
“Most of the recovery world, such as 12-step programs and AA, consider an addiction to be a spiritual problem, and spiritual problemsrequire spiritual solutions. I have a deep knowledge of the ways in which Jewish tradition and Jewish wisdom teachings can be leveraged as a critical aid in recovery.”
Corber’s first community event will be held on April 15. The Third Seder: Understanding Addiction and the Path to Freedom is a communal, seder-like meal where the rabbi will discuss the connection between addiction, recovery and spiritual freedom.“We’ll leverage and focus the Haggadah around addiction and recovery,” Corber said, adding that “everyone should come.”
“This is not just for people who are in recovery or struggling with addiction,” he said. “It’s really important that the whole community be involved in the conversation around addiction. It can’t be that shivas are the only place that we’re talking about addiction.”
When Jewish Addiction Community Service was established in 2016, its role was to help members of the community suffering from addiction. Eight years after its inception, in 2024, the organization came under the umbrella of Jewish Family Services, meaning that, operationally, it will be under the auspices of JFS.
“We needed infrastructure and clinical support, so this is a big operational shift that integrates addiction-related services with other services that JFS provides,” said Tanja Demajo, chief executive officer at JFS. “When a client comes to JFS or JACS for support, we examine their needs holistically and connect them with different resources based on their needs. Going forward, it means people can get the support they need in one place instead of going to two.”
Demajo and her team hope the new development will remove barriers to service access and eliminate the shame and discomfort associated with requests for support, because the need is certainly there, she said.
“The percentage of people impacted by addiction in the Jewish community is very similar to the wider community: we know that every third community member is impacted by someone affected by addiction. But there’s a lot of stigma and judgment, so it’s not easy to ask for help,” Demajo told the Independent. “Education and awareness are things JACS and JFS really need to work on, to normalize the need to ask for help. The more conversations we have, the more it normalizes the need for help.”
JACS has hired Corber as a full-time director, and is relying on eight therapists contracted through JFS. Demajo said, as community needs shift and change, the organization will examine taking on additional therapists if needed. “We’re at the early stage of building a full program and bringing new energy to it,” she explained.
Demajo added that she’s deeply grateful to Howard Harowitz, the founder and chair of JACS, who advocated for addiction services in the Jewish community for years.
JACS’s mission is to increase education and awareness, provide community direct service, and offer guidance and referrals. For more information, visit jacsvancouver.com.
Lauren Kramer, an award-winning writer and editor, lives in Richmond.
Alycia Fridkin leads two JQT Mental Health Support Series workshops: Facing Emotions and Healing Relationships on March 30, and Queering with Our Kids on April 6. (photo from JQT Vancouver)
JQT Vancouver is hosting two supported and spiritually grounded workshops in partnership with JFS Vancouver, as part of the JQT Mental Health Support Series: Facing Emotions and Healing Relationships on March 30, and Queering with Our Kids on April 6. Both three-hour, free gatherings will be held from noon to 3 p.m. at Little Mountain Neighbourhood House.
In the first workshop, participants will explore how they have been wrestling with some relationships since Oct. 7, 2023. Drawing on open-hearted sharing, deep listening and collective wisdom, they will process this tension and arrive at insights together for how to manage the emotions within themselves and with their families, friends, colleagues and other people in their lives. The goal of this gathering is to listen to one another, as participants share their lived experiences navigating relationships in conversation around Israel and Palestine and/or being Jewish. Come learn how to build capacity as a community to create an intentional, supportive, safe and healing space for diverse voices to be heard.
The second workshop is for parents of queer/trans youth and queer/trans parents to share, listen and learn from one another as parents in the Jewish community. The goal of this gathering is for participants to listen and learn how they can support themselves and their children facing tensions in the Jewish and/or queer/trans communities. This could include issues related to Israel and Palestine, gender diversity and sexual orientation. The workshop aims to build capacity as a community to create an intentional, supportive, safe and healing space for families and caregivers.
Both workshops will be led by Alycia Fridkin, an experienced facilitator on equity issues and a member of the Vancouver queer Jewish community, who led JQT’s Listen & Be Heard a year ago.
Fridkin is an equity and anti-racism consultant who supports individuals and organizations to address inequities in health care and other sectors. She has facilitated engagement sessions and workshops on systemic racism, whiteness and white fragility, meaningful involvement, stigmatized topics such as substance use and decriminalization, and the Palestine/Israel conflict. Her training includes a PhD in interdisciplinary studies and a master’s in health science, and she is a certified transformational coach.
To register for either or both workshops, and for information on JQT, its events and activities, visit jqtvancouver.ca.
Vancouver Talmud Torah students in the new Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre. (photo from VTT)
“It was a dream that came true,” said Jeffrey Barnett of the new Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre at Vancouver Talmud Torah.
The centre, named in honour of his late wife, was dedicated last November.
“As a graduate of Vancouver Talmud Torah and as a teacher of over 30 years, and also being a child psychologist, she knew the value of supporting kids in a Jewish environment,” said Barnett of Hildy, who died April 25, 2024. She and Jeffrey were married 47 years; they have two children and four grandchildren.
Hildy Barnett specialized in education for children with special needs. She worked with the Vancouver School Board for three decades and, after retiring, continued to work with children and teens in various capacities. She volunteered at Canuck Place and with the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver, among other things. She helped start Jewish Family Services Vancouver’s Innovators Lunch, with friends Naomi Gropper Steiner, z”l, and Kristina Berman.
Shortly before Hildy Barnett passed away, she and Jeffrey made the decision to fund the wellness centre at VTT. Hildy had asked Shirley Barnett, who had a relationship, via her sons, with Shane Foxman, associate director of development at VTT, to inquire about legacy opportunities at the school. Foxman connected Shirley with Emily Greenberg, VTT head of school.
“When Shirley first told me about Hildy, I asked her to tell me a bit more about what she did, her passions, her career,” Greenberg told the Independent. “It became almost immediately clear that she should be part of realizing the vision for the wellness centre. As her health diminished rapidly, Shirley came to the school and I told her to film me speaking about my vision for the space, the children it would serve and the reason we needed to create such a space for our students. I knew what I wanted it to look like, but I wanted to paint that picture for her. I remember, when we stopped recording, I had goosebumps because I could feel how special this room was going to become.
“We hurriedly sent the recording over to Hildy’s daughter, Mira, to show her in her hospital bed,” continued Greenberg. “I remember Shirley got a text back from her within a few minutes. She said that it was exactly what she had hoped for. Hildy, unfortunately, passed away just a couple hours later, but I have always been so grateful that she knew about the wellness centre before she left this world. I think this has made this work even more sentimental. We really wanted to get every detail right.”
Before she died last April, Hildy Barnett, with her husband Jeffrey, decided to fund the building of a wellness centre at Vancouver Talmud Torah, which has been named in her honour. (photo by Alexandre D. Legere)
A VTT newsletter leading up to the centre’s November dedication noted, “Approximately 20% of our students require some form of extra assistance to fully engage in the curriculum and to meet their full potential…. Over the last several years, we have completed a landscape study to understand best practices for supporting students with learning needs and have implemented several new layers of services to help create unique learning pathways.”
The study comprised a review of what many other schools are doing for student support services, said Greenberg. “There were many takeaways,” she said, “but one of them was that the spaces we create can really enable the programming and support we want to offer. The wellness centre has catapulted our counselors from being in a windowless, uninspiring, tiny office to in a centre that exudes safety, support, belonging and comfort.”
Over the past five years, VTT has gone from having a half-time counselor to two full-time counselors: Donna Cantor and Shakaed Greif. The two are both experienced counselors who are helping “to better support our students, parents and, sometimes, staff, as they navigate the many pressures and challenges of life, especially in a post-Oct. 7 world,” said Greenberg.
The counseling team “has been imperative in helping our many new Israeli students settle into life at VTT. They also run many support groups, including our Free to Be Me club, Chesed club and more,” she said.
The Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre allows Cantor and Greif to have their own offices, as well as a shared space for working with small groups and families.
“When I look back, in a very quiet way, Hildy did what she loved and, having the facility at TT is the ultimate,” Jeffrey Barnett told the Independent. “It brought smiles to her face. She knew that she wasn’t going to be around. She knew that the legacy she was doing would benefit so many youngsters, including the fact that our own grandchildren would be at the school, and that not only this generation but future generations [would be helped]. And it made me feel good that she felt good. It’s still very sad, very touching, and we miss her a great amount.”
Barnett spoke of Hildy’s approach to education, which was based on the methods of the late Dr. Reuven Feuerstein, with whom Hildy Barnett had studied.
Feuerstein was a psychologist from Romania, who trained with the Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky, explained Charlene Goldstein, who, with Hildy Barnett, years ago established with the Vancouver School Board a learning centre for speech language pathologists, teachers, counselors and others, which has since faded away. Goldstein is a registered psychologist in the neonatal follow-up program at BC Women’s Hospital and Health Centre; she also has a private practice.
“Reuven came to Israel right after the Holocaust and he began to work with children from the Holocaust, as he did with children from Ethiopia,” Goldstein told the Independent. “And what he saw was that these children only lived in the present, that they had limited memories of the past and very few [visions] of the future, and that was because, to protect them, their parents didn’t want them to know too much, plus they had a lot of losses. So, he had a group of volunteers together who would sit by the beds of these children, so if they had nightmares, they would calm them.
“Then, he began to notice that some people were saying that these children were incapable of learning, that type of thing,” she continued. “But what Reuven and Vygotsky believed in [is that] you can have direct learning, where, let’s say I’m a child and I’m looking at putting some blocks together and I figure it out and nobody has to tell me what to do. Or, you could have mediated learning, which is, someone is between the child and the activity helping them to learn what to do.
“So Reuven, and I still do this now – when a child says to me, I can’t do this, I say, well, what do you already know here? What do you already recognize? What about this is new? And I start asking questions about things. So, what do you call this? Oh, my goodness, look at all of these things that you already know. Reuven would also say to teachers, think of the child, and his logo was ‘just a minute … let me think.’ Because he believed, as I do, that everybody has the potential to think, everyone has the potential to learn. We may not all learn everything the same, but we have potential to learn. And that everyone has potential to give back to society.”
Part of the funds raised by the Hadassah Bazaars – which Hildy’s mother, Marjorie Groberman, helped start here and in other places across Canada – were sent to Israel to support Feuerstein with his work, said Jeffrey Barnett.
Groberman, who was “Mrs. Hadassah-WIZO for many years,” had heard Feuerstein speak at a Hadassah convention, said Goldstein. He was brought to Vancouver by Hadassah-WIZO and Variety Clubs International, with which Jeffrey Barnett was involved, she said.
Feuerstein came back to Vancouver many times, said Goldstein. When here, he trained many educators, including those who worked with Indigenous children.
“Some of the children would think he was Santa Claus and would call him that because he had a long, white beard and his beret,” said Goldstein.
Among the people in Feuerstein’s sphere was Dr. Lorna Wanosts’a7 Williams, an expert in Indigenous language revitalization and education. Williams met Goldstein and Barnett in the mid-1980s, when she was hired by the Vancouver School Board as a specialist in First Nations education.
“I was looking at Reuven’s work because of his ideas around what happens with children when they get separated from the knowledge, from their parents,” Williams told the Independent. (People wanting to know more about this aspect of Williams’s work should watch the 1994 National Film Board of Canada documentary The Mind of a Child.)
Williams said Hildy Barnett was focused on “supporting all children to learn and enable them to overcome all their trauma. She just was so dedicated to that kind of work.”
Barnett knew how to move things along, said Williams. “She was able to bring people together in such a beautiful way.”
She added, “I really honour her for all the help she gave me and that she gave many other people. She was very quiet but she was very strong.”
Goldstein, who knew Barnett from having grown up in the local Jewish community, before they connected more in Hadassah-WIZO and with Feuerstein’s work, echoed Williams’s observation.
“Hildy had the most gentle voice, she had a great sense of humour, but she had strong determination,” said Goldstein. “In Star Trek, there’s one person who says, ‘Make it so,’ and that’s what Hildy was like. She would say, ‘Make it so,’ and you just didn’t say no to Hildy because Hildy listened to everybody and had such compassion, such compassion.”
Rabbi Philip Bregman, at back, and Jeffrey Barnett, middle, hang the mezuzah at the door of the Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre, along with Barnett’s daughter, Mira, and son, Joel, who is holding one of Barnett’s grandchildren, Blake. (photo from VTT)
The Nov. 24, 2024, dedication ceremony of the Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre was originally envisioned as a small family gathering to honour Barnett’s legacy, said VTT’s Greenberg. “But, to our delight, she was so beloved in the community that many more people attended.
“I think it was an opportunity for many people to pay their respects to her powerful legacy of believing in children, and the Hildy Barnett Wellness Centre has become a healing place in so many ways, including for those who are grieving Hildy’s loss.”
Claire Sicherman read from her book Imprint, about intergenerational trauma, at UBC Hillel on Jan. 21.(photo by Pat Johnson)
Understanding of intergenerational trauma has expanded in recent decades. Two granddaughters of Holocaust survivors discussed the larger phenomenon and their personal experiences recently at the University of British Columbia’s Hillel House, part of Hillel’s Holocaust Awareness Week.
Claire Sicherman, author, workshop facilitator and trauma-informed somatic writing coach, shared her experiences and read from her book, Imprint: A Memoir of Trauma in the Third Generation, which was published in 2017. She was in conversation with Dr. Abby Wener Herlin, associate director of programs and community relations at the Vancouver Holocaust Education Centre, which co-sponsored the Jan. 21 event with Hillel BC.
Sicherman attributed to psychologist Dr. Arielle Schwartz the definition of intergenerational trauma as the ways in which the unresolved experiences of traumas, losses and griefs of one generation can become a legacy that is passed down to the next generation.
“In other words,” said Sicherman, “the experiences of my grandparents are passed down through my parents to me.”
In addition to the “nurture” component of family legacies, there is the “nature” component of epigenetics, which Sicherman described as “the study of how genes turn on and off in response to environmental change.”
“I’ve heard it talked about like it’s sort of like light switches switching on and off in the body,” she explained. “Whatever switches switched on for my grandparents would then be switched on, passed down to my parent, passed down to me.”
Experts in the field say it’s not a biological prison, Sicherman said. “They are actually malleable, so what you’re born with, you are not necessarily stuck with. We do have the ability to change certain things. There is hope in that.”
Growing up, Sicherman knew little or nothing about inherited trauma.
“When I started reading about it, I began to understand that what was going on with me wasn’t really my fault or that it wasn’t really something wrong with me,” she said. “It was just that I was carrying this huge thing.”
Reading excerpts from her book, Sicherman recounted being “disconnected from my body.” The inherited trauma manifested as a nervous system on overdrive and a tendency to hypervigilance. She was always ready to bolt out the door, looking for exit signs, aware of potential dangers, unable to fully rest, and prone to stress and anxiety.
She said that untold stories often pass more powerfully from generation to generation than stories that are recounted.
“When you think about that,” said Sicherman, “it’s what we don’t talk about that has more weight. It’s the silence. It’s the secrets.… That’s why it’s also important to me to speak out about these things, because it’s healing that goes across generations.”
Her survivor grandparents thought they were protecting their children through silence, Sicherman said. In response, the second generation learned not to ask questions.
There were other silences. In addition to the limited discussion around the Holocaust, Sicherman did not learn until well into her own adulthood that, when she was 4 years old, her grandfather had taken his own life, and not died of a heart attack, as she had been led to believe.
As someone who writes about and works with others on issues of healing intergenerational trauma, she urges people to embrace the totality of what they have inherited.
“Aside from trauma, what are the legacies that your ancestors bring to you?” she asked. “What are the gifts? What are the strengths? That’s also an important question to ask yourself, and a way of connecting with Jewish heritage. What are the strengths of your lineage? Is it survival? Is it tenacity? Is it humour? Is it creativity? Those are questions that you can ask yourself.”
Her son, Ben Sicherman, a UBC student, was present and also spoke of his family’s legacy of trauma. He described struggling with anxiety when he was younger and learning mechanisms for addressing issues through his parents’ modeling. He also spoke of carrying the legacy of his ancestors in ways like choosing 18 as his hockey number, not only because it represents chai, life, but because the numbers on his great-grandmother’s Auschwitz tattoo added up to the number 18.
Intergenerational trauma is a major component of her life’s work, said Sicherman.
“I do feel a sense of obligation, as a third generation,” she said. “But I also feel like this is part of my calling, too. It’s very meaningful. It’s an obligation that is not homework. It’s part of what I was set out to do.”
JQT Vancouver’s table at the BC Hospice Palliative Care Association’s Grief, Bereavement and Mental Health Summit 2024, which took place Nov. 20-22. (photo from JQT)
In 2024, JQT Vancouver, a queer and trans nonprofit, and Jewish Family Services Vancouver teamed up – through financial backing from the Jewish Community Foundation of Greater Vancouver and private donations – to create the JQT Mental Health Support Series, a set of informational workshops, resources and events for the LGBTQ2SIA+ community.
The organizations have now entered 2025 invigorated by the response and eager to continue and expand their offerings.
“Like any marginalized community, queer and trans people are aware of their needs and are tired of being surveyed. They have been historically, persistently and systemically marginalized and are waiting for changes in society and health care to be more inclusive of them,” JQT founder and executive director Carmel Tanaka told the Independent.
Tanaka added that a limited operating budget can present challenges when providing the necessary safe spaces, programs and awareness resources for Jewish queer and trans community members and beyond. These needs for support far outweigh JQT’s capacity alone, she said.
In her view, moving away from the survey model to a model of outreach and engagement not only fosters community between Jewish queer and trans people but ensures that Jewish queer and trans people are seen and treated as more than survey data.
Tanaka credited JFS Vancouver chief executive officer Tanja Demajo for understanding this. Demajo listened to the recommendations JQT had been urging for a long time and took steps to fill the gap in mental health support services for the Jewish queer and trans community, said Tanaka.
“This partnership has been an incredible learning experience for me personally,” Demajo shared with the Independent. “Working closely with Carmel and the JQT team made me recognize the importance of being present, listening and understanding how JFS needs to evolve to better serve populations that may have felt isolated. Empowering others to take the lead in this context was inspiring and has already resulted in some truly amazing programming.
“Seeing the community come together – sharing laughs, conversations and moments of joy – has reinforced one key takeaway: we should continue building these connections and creating even more opportunities to collaborate.”
The partnership between JQT and JFS dates back several years. In 2020, the two groups started conversations pertaining to diversity education, ensuring JFS supports for the social, physical and emotional wellness of all people, and providing a welcoming and inclusive organization for the Jewish LGBTQ2SIA+ community. Their partnership was given the name Twice Blessed 2.0: The Jewish LGBTQ2SIA+ Initiative. The Mental Health Support Series, rolled out last year, is the second phase of the initiative; it follows the 2022 Community Needs Assessment.
The mental health series provided numerous offerings last year that encompassed an array of topics – some serious, some lighter – such as dying and death, clay as a medium for mindfulness, and belly dancing. There was also an evening of comedy with Los Angeles-based performer Antonia Lassar and music from Victoria’s Klezbians.
“This series deals with very heavy issues, a lot of which are highly contentious and divide our communities in a number of ways. Our series also provides opportunities to laugh, have fun, relieve stress and move energy. When it comes to mental health, there needs to be a balance,” Tanaka said.
“There are many highlights for me personally,” she continued, “but one that stands out was when a group of queer Chinese folx attended our mahjong event to learn how to play mahjong because they didn’t have the opportunity to learn in their community. That’s when you know that you’re making a positive difference, when you are also helping out communities beyond your own.”
With the positive reaction thus far,JQT and JFS are maintaining their partnership into 2025 to bring more programs and support to the Jewish queer and trans community.
“We look forward to continuing our learning journey and offering meaningful programming and support for the LGBTQ2SIA+ community. In partnership with JQT, we’re excited to develop programs over the next year that will clearly reflect our ongoing commitment to inclusivity and connection,” Demajo said.
Throughout the partnership, Tanaka said, JFS “has learned our preferred style of collaboration and communication, and has borne witness to JQT’s growth and its limitations as a 100% volunteer-led organization.
“Today,” she said, “our quarterly JQT-JFS meetings run quickly, smoothly and are a whole lot of fun because we all genuinely like each other, enjoy the work we are accomplishing together, and can see the fruits of our labour.”
In 2024, JQT gained charitable status. This is a significant accomplishment for a small nonprofit, noted Tanaka, who this month starts her seventh year with JQT.
In 2025, she aims to secure an annual salary for the organization’s executive director position, as well as extended health benefits and program funding.These, she believes, will set JQT up for further success and future executive directors.
“With an increase in queer Jewish event offerings in town,” said Tanaka, “JQT can now focus on heavier lifting, specifically education and training of Jewish and non-Jewish organizations in and out of community and health care, which has been a decades-long request from Jewish queer and trans people.
“We are starting to feel the synergy around our work and are finally being invited to the table,” she added. “It’s all been worth it and we look forward to continuing our collaboration with JFS in a good, organic way.”
The first event of the 2025 Mental Health Support Series, Jewish Magic Herbal Pottery, takes place on Feb. 25, 6 p.m., at Or Shalom Synagogue. To register, visit jqtvancouver.ca.
Sam Margolishas written for the Globe and Mail, the National Post, UPI and MSNBC.
The deadline to nominate someone for the 2025 Courage to Come Back Awards is Jan. 17. The awards, presented by Wheaton Precious Metals, pay tribute to everyday heroes who have overcome immense challenges and now give back to their community. They also raise funds so that Coast Mental Health can continue to provide community-based services for people living with mental illness in British Columbia.
“I really believe that having the opportunity to tell my story was something I had no idea I really needed,” said Rachel Goldman, who received a Courage to Come Back Award in the medical category last year. “It was the first time in my life that I had celebrated the part of myself that I always viewed as my greatest weakness. The ability to overcome challenges is always something to be celebrated. Courage is a superpower. I have no doubt that others would benefit from putting themselves or others forward, too. It is a gift that others should absolutely experience.”
Rachel Goldman received a Courage to Come Back Award in 2023. (photo from Coast Mental Health)
Goldman was born with CVID, common variable immune deficiency, which causes low levels of the proteins that help fight infections. Initially, she was uncomfortable about being nominated for the honour, as her illness was something she had only ever faced privately.
“That others would view this as both resilient and brave was not something I had really considered – that was just the way I chose to approach life,” she said. “The nomination showed me that resilience and bravery are something to be celebrated and that having the opportunity to shine a light on rare and invisible illnesses like mine is a privilege.”
Winning a Courage to Come Back Award has impacted Goldman’s life in a few ways.
“It opened the door to thoughtful conversation regarding my health and my life and allowed me the ability to really explain to those around me what it is like to live in my shoes,” she said. “It was not easy, but it began a healing journey to better understand my health needs. My hope is still to bring awareness to those that are suffering from diseases like mine and that research worldwide will continue towards helping those like me to live a more fulfilling and healthy life.”
The 2025 Courage to Come Back Awards are granted in four categories: addiction, medical, mental health and youth (ages 19-25). Recipients will be recognized in a celebration at the Vancouver Convention Centre on May 7.
“As chair of the Courage to Come Back Awards, reading through the hundreds of nominations we receive every year is a moment I look forward to with great anticipation. All of them are true journeys of bravery, resilience and strength in the face of adversity. I am grateful to those that have the courage to share their stories with us,” said Lorne Segal, who is also president of Kingswood Properties Ltd.
