depression

Working through emotions

The experiential feeling of shame is defined as a painful emotion caused by feeling like you have done something wrong or disgraceful. Shame is a popular trope and is associated with the concept of “Jewish guilt.” However, on the ground and in my practice with tweens, adolescents and adult women, shame carries with it strong painful emotions and regret(s). Shame is a common reaction to anxiety, depression and mental and emotional stress.

For the therapeutic clients who work with me, shame is expressed as all-consuming. In the context of emotional and mental stresses that are relational or situational, common expressions of shame arise of feeling broken, defective and disconnected. My general aim is to acknowledge the power of shame and their particular relationship to it by also normalizing the emotion and experiences with it. As a therapist, I use various creative-, expressive-, psychosocial-, embodied-, feminist-, narrative- and mindfulness-based psychotherapies to work a way inside, through and outside of the burdens my clients are holding. For the purpose of this article, I will focus on mindfulness psychotherapy.

Experiences of anxiety, depression, grief, relationship and family struggles often result in individuals being programmed and aware of the value of, or favouring of, one part of their experience over another – for some, it is intellectual or cognitive abilities; others are guided by emotions; others by physical signals. More and more we are realizing the importance of recognizing and listening to all of our responses as a way to heal and grow. A mindful approach to psychotherapy helps you identify and integrate all of these parts of yourself. Brain science validates this notion and suggests that, by attending to your thought patterns, emotional reactions and sensory experiences, you can change patterns of thinking, feeling and moving in the world. Even complicated mental and emotional health experiences paired with the weight of shame can be tackled using mindfulness as a key component in therapy and applying it in day-to-day life.

Mindfulness practice offers hope for changing unwanted or destructive reactions, belief systems and behaviours that seem fixed or difficult to mobilize. For example, if you have a negative self-view, by noticing the story you tell yourself and considering it a pattern of thinking versus a truth, there is room to reevaluate and create a more accurate description of yourself. And, when you have a more accurate and accepting view of yourself, you are more likely to trust yourself and live more freely. This work is not easy and it is important to proceed gently and in the care of a trusted mental health professional.

I will share a short mindfulness practice that you can do at home. Mindfulness connects one’s mind to one’s body and one’s breath. I like carrying out this mindfulness exercise with my individual therapeutic clients and in group therapy because it serves as a reminder to connect to one’s body and to breathe through it. Through this mindfulness practice, that I call “body scan,” one can gain both emotional and physical clarity and start a naming and eventual cleansing of emotions that do not serve including shame.

Body scan

Find a place you can sit comfortably, quietly and undisturbed and set a gentle timer for five to 10 minutes. Be kind with yourself and start slowly, with five minutes. The more you practise, the easier a longer mindfulness practice will be.

During the body scan exercise, you will pay close attention to the physical sensations throughout your body. The goal is not to change or relax your body and mind, but instead to notice and become more aware of your body, your mind and your breath.

Begin by paying attention to the sensations in your feet. Notice any sensations such as warmth, coolness, pressure, pain or a breeze moving over your skin. Slowly move up your body – to your calves, thighs, pelvis, stomach, chest, back, shoulders, arms, hands, fingers, neck and, finally, your head. Spend some time on each of these body parts, just noticing the sensations. Remember to breathe as fully as you can, in through your mouth, exhaling through your nose. Your breaths are like gentle and ongoing waves.

After you travel your body, begin to move back down, through each part, until you reach your feet again. Remember to move slowly, and just pay attention, breathing and noticing.

Dr. Abby Wener Herlin holds a doctorate degree from the University of British Columbia. She is the founder of Threads Education and Counselling and works with tweens, adolescents and adults. She carries out themed social justice and creative arts and writing workshops for students, teachers and schools. She is available for therapeutic sessions and contemplative writing workshops. She can be reached at [email protected] or via threadseducation.com.

Depression insidious

The author with her dog, Kesem. (photo from Dolores Luber)

It was mid-March. All I had been hearing and seeing on the news were the words and images related to contagion, epidemic, China’s wet markets, people enjoying the delicacy of cooked bats, pandemic and COVID-19. It was getting louder and closer, somehow it traveled from China across the Pacific to Vancouver. We were now dealing with the pandemic in Vancouver, we were in lockdown, even if the government never called it that.

In a flash, my household emptied out. My housemate, a University of British Columbia student, went back home; all her courses were now online. My boarder, a psychiatric nurse, scared of catching the virus and infecting me and her immune-compromised partner, took a six-month leave of absence from her work and joined him on a sailboat off the coast of Vancouver Island. I cleaned and organized and then it hit me – I was alone in the house with my Standard Poodle puppy Kesem. His name means “magic” in Hebrew and he truly is a wonderful companion, but….

Lockdown, what was that? We all had to create our own version. I maintained my Hebrew classes by means of Zoom, I continued working out with two personal trainers in my home gym. We did not touch each other. I went to the off-leash dog park every afternoon. We practised social distancing.

Then, a classmate of mine became hospitalized with the virus – I had not seen her for 10 days. I isolated myself for an additional week, not one of our group became ill. She is the only one I know who has contracted the virus. I was feeling proud of myself, I was managing well. As the editor-in-chief, I had produced the July edition of Senior Line magazine for Jewish Seniors Alliance on schedule. It was a labour of love, responding to the pandemic and the issues of the times. Everything was under control.

July 22 is my birthday. At the beginning of July, I began to feel very lonely. I had not seen any of my four sons, daughters-in-law or nine grandchildren for a long time. The planned family reunion in Oakville, Ont., was an event I had been looking forward to. My children had grown up in Beaconsfield, Que., and my youngest son had organized a fabulous get-together of all his friends who lived in the neighbourhood during his childhood. Photographs were collected, videos created, all plans had been made before the lockdown.

We gradually began to understand that the situation was not going to end soon; we were in it for the long haul. The reunion was canceled. I always see my children on my birthday, but, this time, I received FaceTime calls, beautiful cards, splendid flowers, but no hugs, no kisses, no warmth, no human touches. My thoughts were becoming very negative and gloomy; worst-case scenarios played in my head. I thought of moving back to Ontario to be with my youngest son; I researched buying a house in Oakville. I was experiencing symptoms of depression.

As a retired psychotherapist, I recognized the symptoms – among them, exaggerated feelings of sadness and loneliness. I made an effort to study more and read more Hebrew. I pushed harder in my workouts with my trainers. I developed and implemented a plan for the fall Senior Line magazine. By the end of July, I was thinking in a more balanced fashion. I had gotten through the rough spot and was well again.

Depression can be insidious, it can creep up on you. It is important to do a reality check with friends or family members from time to time. Isolation warps the processes of the brain. The chemicals in our brains can become unbalanced. Usually increased physical activity and enhanced social interaction can counteract the symptoms of mild depression. Beware!

Dolores Luber, a retired psychotherapist and psychology teacher, is editor of Jewish Seniors Alliance’s Senior Line magazine and website (jsalliance.org). She blogs for yossilinks.com and writes movie reviews for the Isaac Waldman Jewish Public Library website.

Balabusta does nothing

(photo from pexels.com)

Lest you think this Accidental Balabusta has been slacking off, let me set the record straight. I’ve been sick since the middle of November and haven’t had the koach to do anything, including writing or cooking. No need for the gory details; suffice it to say that it’s worn me down to a nub.

It’s been a struggle to find the silver lining in all this, and months of illness has taken its toll both physically and emotionally. There were days I couldn’t see the end in sight, and felt like my life had no purpose – a soul-destroying way to feel. There was no energy to do what I love: volunteering, attending Torah classes, meeting with friends.

In the absence of meaningful activities, my mind became a slave to anxiety and rumination, and the negativity spilled over into my various relationships. Let’s face it, no one likes a chronic complainer. Desperate to snap out of that funk, I didn’t have the mental or physical energy to attempt it.

Fast forward. I’m almost fully recovered. So, which came first – recovery or a sense of optimism?

Since regaining the bulk of my energy and well-being, I can now look at that period of suffering and negativity with a more balanced perspective. Which answers the aforementioned question – recovery came first. Which stands to reason, as it’s nearly impossible to feel positive in the midst of ongoing poor health. At least for regular folk.

A short video I watched while I was sick, by Goldie Plotkin, called Inner Strength – Courage and Faith for Life’s Challenges, was pretty inspirational, albeit vague. It emphasized the importance of “seeing the blessings in the challenges,” and learning how to use these challenges as “springboards for good.” Having overcome and embraced her own personal life challenges, Plotkin views adversity and struggle as “impetuses to grow and learn” from, and resiliency as an integral character trait. What puzzles me is this: How exactly do people “access” these blessings while they’re in the throes of illness? Or can we? Maybe it’s only after the fact that we can perceive the blessings.

The question remains: Is there a way to cope more effectively while we’re in the eye of the storm?

It got me thinking. What do Jews of great faith do when faced with illness and suffering? They think positively. Since they trust that G-d does everything for the good, they have faith that something positive will come from every experience. “Tracht gut vet zein gut” – “Think good and it will be good.” A life-affirming attitude, for sure. And one that probably takes a lifetime to cultivate. Unless you happen to be a Chassid. And still.

As my health improves, and the negativity lifts, I’m reminded of a joke from a book called There Must be a Pony, where a boy wakes up on Christmas morning and finds a pile of horse manure under the tree, instead of gifts. Possessing an extraordinarily optimistic outlook, the boy immediately starts shoveling the manure, exclaiming enthusiastically, “With all this manure, there must be a pony somewhere!”

If only faith and trust in G-d were that easy.

During the latter part of my recovery, when I actually had the energy to get dressed, I promised myself that I would do something every day to get out of my head: go for a walk, listen to a Jewish-themed podcast, read something inspiring. Anything to distract my mind from its endless loop of pessimistic storylines.

I started reading a book called Positivity Bias: Practical Wisdom for Positive Living. It gave me some practical tools to help stop my cycle of negativity. One such tool is the concept of “cognitive restructuring” or “reframing,” which was integral to me turning the corner. It’s a technique that helps people view situations from a different perspective and, when a person’s perspective changes, their thinking and behaviour often change as well. It helps one challenge the veracity of negative, often inaccurate, perspectives, and reframe their thinking. Based on cognitive behavioural therapy, the long and short of it is this – if you want to feel better, change your mind.

The essence of the book is simple yet profound. Since our thoughts and words influence how we feel and behave, each of us has the power to reshape our lives. Mindfulness and consciousness are huge parts of this process. If our thoughts are not helping us or moving us forward, then we need to change how we think. The catch is that it’s difficult to do and it’s an ongoing challenge.

An article I read recently – “Ten Hacks for Mental Control that Every Human Being Should Know” by Tzvi Freeman – was also helpful. It talks about negative thoughts and how to counteract them in a healthy way. (Read: from a Chassidic perspective.) Naturally, most of the references are to religious thought and practice. According to Freeman, the challenge is not just stopping ourselves from having negative thoughts, but finding wholesome thoughts and actions to replace the negative ones.

Relaxation techniques, like breathing meditation, and distractions such as paying attention to external stimuli, work well, too. Basically, getting outside your own head. While both approaches work, I personally think replacing unhealthy thoughts with healthy ones is the better alternative, since it not only redirects your mind, but also retrains it in a significant, consequential way.

If I’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s that cultivating positivity requires superhuman vigilance and self-control. It demands that we learn to regulate, train and discipline ourselves in how we behave, how we speak and, most importantly, how we allow ourselves to think. And it’s key to living a more intentional, meaningful, happy life.

Am I walking the walk? All I can say is I’m trying. Day by day. Moment by moment. Every one of us is a flawed human being, but each of us has the potential to make our life better, more purposeful. My advice is to use whatever works for you. Just remember that there’s something to learn from everybody.

If all that fails … try prayer. I’m a huge fan. Surrendering to something greater than oneself isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and faith. And it’s just a thought, but maybe don’t ask G-d to heal you. Maybe, instead, ask G-d to give you the emotional and physical strength and courage to heal yourself. Just saying.

Shelley Civkin aka the Accidental Balabusta, is a happily retired librarian and communications officer. For 17 years, she wrote a weekly book review column for the Richmond Review. She’s currently a freelance writer and volunteer.

Illness, not weakness

Can We Talk About … event committee, left to right: Karen Dana (event co-chair), Jenn Ritter (event co-chair), Harriet Zimmer, Rietta Floom, Einat Paz-Keynan (JCFS staff), Meytal Lavy (JCFS staff), Michael Landsberg, Sherry Lercher-Davis, Randee Pollock (JCFS staff), Danita Aziza (JCFS board chair), Pam Vine, Tara Greenberg and Jill Atnikov. (photo from Jewish Child and Family Service Winnipeg)

On Nov. 3, as part of Jewish Child and Family Service Winnipeg’s series Can We Talk About …, TSN celebrity Michael Landsberg spoke about Darkness and Hope – Depression, Sports and Me.

Landsberg has suffered from anxiety for as long as he can remember, and depression for the past 18 years.

“In 2009, I spoke about it publicly for the first time,” Landsberg shared with those gathered at Shaarey Zedek Synagogue. “I told everybody I knew. I just hadn’t used the platforms available to me to discuss it [until then], because I didn’t think it was relevant to anyone’s life.

“One day, when I was, by chance, interviewing someone who had suffered from depression, I asked him about it. I commented that I, too, had suffered. The next day changed my life.”

Landsberg received emails from people saying that the interview had been the first time they had heard two men discussing their struggles with depression; in particular, without sounding embarrassed or seeming weak.

“Because of that, they said their lives were changed,” said Landsberg. “Since that moment, I’ve tried to do exactly the same thing over and over again in as many venues as I can, including in Winnipeg.”

Landsberg tries to find ways to bring the topic to the fore whenever he feels it’s appropriate or thinks he has the opportunity to make a difference, whether it’s a public talk he’s headlining or a discussion on radio, TV or the internet.

“Every time I say I suffer from this illness and I’m not ashamed, embarrassed or weak, it changes someone’s life,” he said. “My coming out gave a purpose to this illness. It allowed me to take this poison that’s been inside me, that’s detracted from my life…. It allowed me to help someone else … so my poison is someone else’s medicine. That makes me feel good and makes me feel like I have a place in the world other than the one I was occupying before.”

According to Landsberg, before going public, his level of contribution to society was neutral, like most people’s. But, since coming out and talking about how his depression makes him feel and how it robs his self-confidence and self-esteem – yet he’s not ashamed of it – he’s no longer neutral.

“I think what I have to share most of all is me,” he said. “The more deep I go, the more details I give, the more of my struggles – not just that I’m struggling, but how my struggles feel – the more valuable it is to someone else. You want people to say, in the audience, ‘That’s me.’ And ‘Oh my gosh. My husband has that illness and I never knew that’s what was going on in his head. I understand better now.’

“I think we’re in a time now when every person is really deciding what side of history they’re on. Do you want to be on the side of history that’s changed the way we deal with mental health or do you want to be on the other side? I try to encourage people to get on the right side of it.”

Landsberg has always been a sharer and encourages others to share their struggles. As there is a deep sense of hopelessness and loneliness when it comes to depression, he said it is critical to encourage others to listen and realize they are not alone with the illness.

“More so than any event than I’ve ever been to, I was riveted and was really grabbed by several of the questions [posed to me in Winnipeg],” Landsberg told the Independent. “They weren’t so much questions as they were statements about audience members’ own situations.

“If you have a good night and you do it the right way, and there’s an audience that’s engaged that way, you’ll hear stories that have never before been shared – empowering people to share.

“My analogy is always, what I’d really like to do, is to have everyone in Canada who suffers from this illness [get together] – in the basement of a synagogue or a church, where Alcoholic Anonymous meetings take place – and [have] each of us draw from the collective strength and, at the same time, make deposits into that strength. When you turn to someone for help, you ultimately give them strength just by asking for it. That’s the spirit we felt in Winnipeg.”

One female audience member shared that she has had cancer and that it has come back, adding that she has suffered from depression for 15 years. Landsberg recalled, “She said, ‘You know, I have to be honest with you, I’ll take the cancer over the depression.’

“Also, an army veteran shared that he served in the army for 12 years and that, when he returned to Canada, there were 13 of them in his army group who had served and that, now, there are only two – the other 11 took their own lives. He said, ‘I was in the closet, so to speak, and felt desperately alone and unable to reach out. I watched a TV show you [Landsberg] did two years ago and thought, wow, if he can share, I can, too.’

“That’s enough reason to keep doing this for the rest of my life – just the knowledge that doing something that’s so easy for me, takes no effort, is a joy, [is helping]. To get up on stage and use my struggles for someone else’s benefit … it’s so easy, yet the payoff can be so massive.”

When it comes to helping a loved one who suffers from depression, Landsberg said one should start by admitting they cannot fully understand, as they have never had the disease. Then, they should ask their loved one what they want from them.

“That’s a huge thing – telling me what not to do,” said Landsberg. “The second thing is to reduce guilt. Many of us who have this illness like to please those around us. But, when we’re sick, we lose that ability, because we’re not ourselves – we can’t. I feel terribly guilty when I’m not the person I want to be.

“The people around me aren’t living their lives better because I’m there. Quite the opposite. I feel terrible that I’m actually worrying them, that I’m actually making the room worse because I’m in it. But, if you reduce my guilt, it will make a difference.”

As for someone who discovers they have the disease, Landsberg suggested education, as the more one knows about one’s illness, the more they can be an advocate and fight.

“Then, establish the thought that I will fight for my happiness,” he said. “And that’s incredibly difficult to commit to because the illness takes the life, the drive, out of us. It makes us apathetic. It makes us really incapable of doing stuff, or highly challenged to do stuff.

“If you commit to fighting for your happiness, that’s a big step. If you commit to sharing, that’s a big step. Sharing is incredibly difficult for most people because they feel shame and embarrassment. They feel like their illness is a weakness.

“You can overcome that, to some extent, by educating yourself. When you go on the internet and Google ‘depression’ and get five billion hits, you realize that 10% of the population right now may be feeling similar to you.

“People take their lives – 4,000 every year in Canada, 40,000 in the United States, and there are 25 attempts likely for every ‘successful’ suicide … that means 100,000 suicide attempts. We know there’s at least 10 to one that think about suicide, but don’t attempt it; suicide becomes appealing to them and plays out over and over in their brain.

“If you start realizing you’re just like a million other people in this country, then you’ll realize this is a sickness, not a weakness. All of these people, people that take their lives because they’re in so much pain, that’s not weakness.”

Landsberg added that speaking with someone who you know is struggling with depression is the easiest way to start sharing and healing, as you know they will not judge you and that they understand you.

“Winnipeg people liked what I did, so they went home with something,” said Landsberg. “But, I think I went home with more. I took away more than I left. What I took away were stories from people who I felt privileged to listen to…. I just loved it.”

For more information, visit sicknotweak.com.

Rebeca Kuropatwa is a Winnipeg freelance writer.

Research into psychedelics

Jordan Sloshower (photo from Jordan Sloshower)

The use of psychoactive plants and mushrooms for sacramental and religious purposes has been widespread throughout the world’s cultures for centuries. More recently, in the 1950s and 1960s, academic centres investigated the potential therapeutic uses of psychedelic compounds – primarily lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) – to treat forms of mental illness and addictions. After producing thousands of papers, the field came to a halt in the 1970s, due to the “war on drugs” and the classification of psychedelic drugs as a Schedule 1 drug in the United States. Nonetheless, the past 10 years have seen a resurgence of interest in the field of psychedelic science.

In the last decade, research has resumed at prominent universities, such as Johns Hopkins University, University of California-Los Angeles and New York University, where clinical trials have examined the use of psilocybin (the psychoactive component of “magic mushrooms”) to treat cancer-related end-of-life anxiety, as well as addiction to alcohol and tobacco. And, a recently formed group at Yale University – the Yale Psychedelic Science Group (YPSG) – is exploring the science behind such research.

YPSG was formed with the aim of reviewing and discussing academic research in the psychedelic sciences via examining academic articles and papers, as well as hosting leading scholars in this field from across the country. The group is working to host an interdisciplinary forum in which clinicians and scholars from across Yale can learn about and discuss the reemerging field of psychedelic science and therapeutics.

One of the leaders of this resurgence is Winnipeg-born and -raised Jewish community member Jordan Sloshower, who is currently a second-year resident physician in Yale’s psychiatry program.

“I first thought I was going to do infectious disease, which is a more typical path for someone like myself interested in global health,” Sloshower told the Independent. “But I found that, clinically, I was most interested in interpersonal relationships, so social dynamics and psychiatry was feeling like a better fit.

“What actually happened was I was able to go do a psychiatry elective in Peru – both in Lima and in a smaller city in the mountains – and, for six weeks, I got to interact with different aspects of their mental health care system there. It was really my first exposure to what we call ‘global mental health,’ and I learned that this is actually a very vibrant field.”

Sloshower found that mental health was a hugely underserved area, with not only a lack of access to care, but with human rights abuses. With a lot of work needing to be done in the field, he decided to combine his interest in global health with his clinical interest in psychiatry. This led to his working in Nepal’s mental health system as well, at the end of medical school.

Regarding the field of psychedelic science, Sloshower dates its inception back to when Albert Hoffman synthesized LSD.

“Now, the way I think of it is as a broad interdisciplinary study of how these molecules act biologically, socially and economically,” he said. “I think there are also political, arts and anthropological angles. I think the term psychedelic still brings up thoughts of art and music from the ’60s. It’s a broad term.”

According to Sloshower, the term psychedelic means “minds manifesting,” which some refer to as “hallucinogen.” In context, this refers to compounds that cause perceptual alteration.

The province of Saskatchewan, as it happens, was one of the leaders investigating LSD for the treatment of alcoholism and cancer-related anxiety. In Europe, psychedelic drugs were used for psychotherapy. Thousands of papers were published on this until, Sloshower said, “things got shut down when psychedelic drugs were classified as illegal drugs.”

Psychedelic drugs went from being perceived as potential wonder drugs to something awful, and then just disappeared. Then, about 10 years ago, Dr. Rick Strassman in New Mexico did a study looking at dimethyltryptamine, a psychedelic drug found in many species of plants as well as in our own bodies.

“There’s a huge need for new treatments that work rapidly in a sustained way, and we need treatments that are not toxic,” said Sloshower. “So, it makes a lot of sense that we should look at these drugs, which actually have safety profiles that were demonstrated to be excellent back in the original wave of research and, increasingly, in controlled settings.

“There have been several trials using psilocybin, which is the active ingredient in magic mushrooms to treat cancer-related anxiety, which, again, picks up from the ’60s. There’s been a promising study with psilocybin to treat alcohol and nicotine dependence.”

While Sloshower said he is not an expert in the matter, he was willing to explain the basics of how these compounds work on the brain. He said that psychedelic drugs activate a subtype of serotonin receptor in the brain and that “serotonin is one of the key neurotransmitters in mood, attention and a range of different things.”

He said, “Typical antidepressants usually act on the serotonin system as well. One potential mechanism of how psychedelics exert peculiar effects on thought and perception is by interrupting something called ‘the default mode network,’ which is kind of like a neural correlate of the ego. It’s a network of neurons that fire together in your baseline consciousness when you’re doing self-referential thinking. In people with depression who have a lot of ruminant thoughts, you see an increased activation of the default mode network and, with both the use of psychedelics and mindfulness practice, you actually see a decrease in activation of the default mode network.”

Among the speakers YPSG has hosted is a speaker from Johns Hopkins who discussed his work using psilocybin to treat tobacco addiction. Another expert, from NYU, was part of the trial done on psilocybin for cancer-related end-of-life anxiety. The results from both studies look promising.

Sloshower anticipates that some Canadian universities will soon become more interested in researching psychedelics. “Actually, the Canadian medical journal, I noticed on the front cover a few months ago, had psychedelics on it,” he said.

When asked about any possible connection between psychedelics and the increased interest in medical marijuana, Sloshower said they are not explicitly connected, although both are part of a search for new therapeutic approaches.

“From my point of view, it’s not so much a matter of the drugs (antidepressants) being overused as much as it is that the drugs don’t work as much as we’d like,” he said. “In a lot of cases, we don’t have great treatment. In depression, for instance, the medications either work partially, take a long time to start working or have a lot of side effects.

“In these cases, the treatments we have aren’t really adequate. We need new ones. We don’t really have good drugs for substance use disorders either. Actually, something that’s been interesting with psychedelic drugs is that the model being proposed, unlike typical antidepressants, is based on a very limited number of drug exposures over a very short period of time.”

The proposed model includes providing treatment in clinics only, with people requiring only one or a handful of drug-therapy sessions linked with psychotherapy, as studies have shown both rapid-acting and prolonged effects of psychedelics.

As for the cancer anxiety research, it has shown improvement in patients’ mood six months after having received a single dose of psilocybin.

“That’s why I think there’s a lot of interest,” said Sloshower. “I don’t think it’s going to be a miracle, but another tool we’d have alongside other treatments we already have.”

Rebeca Kuropatwa is a Winnipeg freelance writer.

Glimpse into The Valley

Daniel Doheny and Kerry Sandomirsky in The Valley, which tackles the subject of depression. (photo by Emily Cooper)

As The Valley opens, a young man addresses the audience with the words, “Encounters with the police No. 1.”

It’s a stark opening, as the character – Connor – stands in a spotlight on a circular stage, with the three other actors behind him in the shadows. The monologue represents both the beginning and end to the play. It establishes a sense of the past – about what brought the characters to their current situation – as well as the present, when they are revealing themselves in a healing circle. Each of the players eventually gets to speak directly to the audience in turn, and the drama of the performance unfolds between the monologues.

Essentially, the play is about the effect of depression in two different families – a police officer (Dan) and his wife (Janie), who has just given birth and has a history of depression; and a mother (Sharon) and son (Connor), who has an episode when he’s 18. Amazingly, all the action takes place within the circular stage – a relevant choice for the performance.

“The show is a very intimate show, though the Granville Island stage is not considered intimate,” set designer Amir Ofek explained. “We wanted it ‘in your face,’ not hiding behind a proscenium arch.”

When faced with the decision of whether to use a more literal interpretation of the play for the set design, Ofek said he wanted to avoid switching between the staging of homes of each family, the police station, the Skytrain and other locations in order to keep the intensity going.

“As a designer, I have to delve into the play to find a unique way of doing things,” he said, adding that he tried in the design to convey the protagonists’ characteristics of intensity and fragility by having part of the set jut out of the stage, as though it might fall on the audience any minute.

“There’s a sense of brutality in the play, as well,” Ofek said. “It’s reflected in the edginess of the material of the set.”

Intense, brutal and fragile are perfect words to describe the characters. When Connor quits university after wanting to go for so long, his mother Sharon is at a loss. She tries so hard to change his mind – pleading, cajoling, trying logic and guilt. She is helpless against an illness that has yet to even reveal itself. When an “incident at Joyce Station” takes place, her lament to the audience is heartwrenching: “What to expect at 18 years, three months – your child will break in two.”

In the other household, Dan struggles to be supportive of his wife when she is having depressive episodes, but he has his own demons to bear from being a police officer.

“Every holiday you’ve ever looked forward to – they’re all on our s–t list,” he says, referring to the increase in crime and misdemeanors around holiday time. “Hookers, jumpers, pushers, junkies, racers, strippers – hundreds of things you don’t want to hear about.”

Ironically, it was through his work that Dan met his wife, helping get her clean and off the street. Their struggle is particularly disquieting to watch as it’s so clear how much they love each other, but seem to be always living on the edge of a breakdown.

When Dan arrests Connor in the “incident at Joyce Station,” there’s a struggle that sends Connor to the hospital and results in months of being housebound in his depression, unable or unwilling to listen to his mother, who is constantly on him to do something.

Eventually, Dan and Janie get an invitation to a healing circle to help Connor deal with the aftermath of the incident. But, like his refusal to pay attention to his wife’s bouts of depression, Dan refuses to hear anything about a healing circle. Janie goes on her own and is able to connect with Connor because she shares his ailment and understands what he’s going through. Through Janie, Sharon finds out something that allows her to let go of her own anger.

This play is not easy to watch but it’s an important one to see, if only to get a bit more understanding of how people suffer with despair and hopelessness – sometimes for months or years at a time. It’s estimated that 10% of adults in Canada will experience a serious depressive episode in their lifetimes.

The Valley stars Daniel Doheny as Connor, Kerry Sandomirsky as Sharon, Pippa Mackie as Janie and Robert Salvador as Dan. It’s directed by Mindy Parfitt, with lighting by Itai Erdal, and runs at the Arts Club (artsclub.com) Granville Island stage until May 7.

Baila Lazarus is a freelance writer and media trainer in Vancouver. Her consulting work can be seen at phase2coaching.com.

Healing after trauma

A screenshot of Dr. Gabor Maté and Rita Bozi in The Damage is Done, from video by Patrick McLaughlin.

The Cultch often presents non-traditional shows that confront uncomfortable questions. This year, one such show, The Damage is Done by Rita Bozi, brings to the stage an examination of trauma and its psychological impact on individuals and families.

The Damage is Done combines theatre, dialogue, essay, video, music and dance. It features two performers: Bozi, and physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté, who has written on various psychological issues, including addiction. Bozi plays several characters in the show, while Maté plays himself.

photo - Gabor Maté plays himself in Rita Bozi’s The Damage is Done — Gabor Maté plays himself in Rita Bozi’s *The Damage is Done*. (photo by Farah Nosh)

“I comment on Rita’s actions on stage, like a Greek chorus,” Maté said in an interview with the Independent. “We are trying to find some meaning to the trauma endured in the past, the traumas our families went through, and to learn from it. If we don’t process trauma, it will control our lives. The after-effects of trauma influence how we see ourselves: either as victims, or it makes us overcompensate, try to appear more powerful than we are. Sometimes, people try to get away from the pain with drugs – that’s where addiction comes from.”

Maté explained that deep trauma is often transmitted through generations. It affects social units and families as well as individuals. “The children of Holocaust survivors often have elevated stress hormone levels. When a young mother is depressed, her baby suffers, even though everyone loves the baby and nobody wants it hurt…. The play is an exploration of how trauma works and how we can find liberation from it. Before we heal, we must find the problem, acknowledge it.”

He accepted this project despite a busy schedule and multiple speaking engagements because it touches on issues about which he has been advocating for years. “Medical schools don’t teach students about trauma and its psychological impact. When the young doctors start working, they feel the lack of that knowledge. They want a guidance of how to connect physical and emotional healing, and not many people talk about the subject.”

So, many professionals turn to Maté. His seminars are in such demand across North America that sometimes he spends days on the road. “In the last week, I had eight speaking engagements,” he said. In various American and Canadian cities, addiction workers, trauma specialists, therapists and educators, as well as family members and others, comprise Maté’s audience.

“I’m trying to answer the question, ‘Why?,’ the same question Rita asks in her play, so I provide the framework for her story. I think it’s very important. So many people suffer from trauma, physical and psychological. It’s impossible to separate the two. I’m not going to launch a second career as an actor, of course,” he added with a smile, “but it was an interesting challenge, something different. Besides, I like Rita.”

Bozi also spoke with the Independent. She explained that the show was years in development. Its most recent version premièred in Yukon last year. “This show is ultimately about compassions for ourselves and others,” she said.

Maté’s involvement in the project was paramount to her. “I attended several workshops with Gabor and I read his books. He once said, ‘We need to be asking not why the addiction but why the pain?’ As a therapist and a child of immigrant Hungarian parents who lived through the war, the Soviet occupation and the revolution, I have long been concerned with inherited historical trauma and its effect on families and offspring.”

She continued, “I wanted Gabor a part of it. Why mention him if I could have him? I had already been making a connection with Gabor through email over our shared Hungarian backgrounds…. He felt like kin. We were speaking the same language (apart from Hungarian) and we both felt the power of the mind-body connection affecting our lives.”

It took Bozi 12 years from the seed of the idea to the show itself. “I play out my family drama, and Gabor plays the poetic counterpoint. He helps my character come back to ‘self.’ He helps her understand her own experience of the family situation, her part in it and how to begin to transform the inherited pain. He brings his razor-sharp insights to the show and his ability to be concise about what is happening. He sees what is hidden, cuts to the chase and helps guide one to the pieces of self that were lost when trauma occurred.”

According to Bozi and Maté, healing comes from the ability to look at traumatic events from infancy and early childhood with humor and compassion – even though the damage is done, we can defuse its impact.

The Damage is Done will be performed at the Cultch from Oct. 20-24. Before that, Bozi and Maté are taking the show to Banff, where both their evening shows are already sold out. For more information about the local production, visit thecultch.com/events/the-damage-is-done-a-true-story.

Olga Livshin is a Vancouver freelance writer. She can be reached at [email protected].