coexistence

In solidarity with neighbours

One of Tag Meir’s annual events is Flowers of Peace. Participants hand out roses on the streets of the Old City in Jerusalem on Jerusalem Day. This year, they gave out some 2,000 flowers as a message of peace to Muslims and Christians in the city. (photo from Tag Meir)

To counter what Tag Meir head Gadi Gvaryahu described as incitement by radical settlers through Tag Mechir (Price Tagging), Tag Meir (Light Tagging) was formed.

Tag Meir, which started in 2011, is operated by members of the same segment of religious Zionistic Judaism that started price tagging (attacking Palestinian property and people) in 2009. Members of Tag Meir started visiting victims on both sides of the conflict in an effort to show solidarity and repair physical and psychological damage.

Today, Tag Meir is supported by many organizations and institutions in Israel from all segments of Jewish society – secular, Reform, Conservative, Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox Jews – coming together to stand against hate and intolerance.

Though he now lives in Rehovot, Gvaryahu still considers Jerusalem home. He is the eighth generation of his family to live there.

Gvaryahu was deeply affected by the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin and the fact that the killer had come from his segment of religious Zionism, Kippot Srugot (Knitted Kippot). He decided he had to put his passion for helping animals aside – he is a farm animal behavioural researcher by training – to find ways to mend Israeli society.

“I decided it’s about time to be more involved in public business – not politics, but more education,” said Gvaryahu. “Me and a few other families initiated a synagogue, an Orthodox synagogue in Rehovot, named after Yitzhak Rabin.”

Gvaryahu realized there was something wrong with the education system when he received a call from the head of his son’s yeshivah, demanding his son apologize for an outburst.

“Six months after Yitzhak Rabin’s assassination, a famous rabbi came to my son’s school,” recalled Gvaryahu. “He said that now, with Rabin dead, all his bad things were forgiven. And he didn’t even mention that he was murdered. He just treated him like someone who’d sinned a lot, talking to the whole synagogue, like 400 students, including the head of the synagogue … and they were all silent, except one person – my son.

“My son said, ‘How dare you say that? He just passed away! And, how dare you say that he has sins? He was killed, murdered!’ Then, he left the room, crying.”

When the rosh yeshivah called, Gvaryahu commended his son’s actions and said, “This rabbi should apologize. I’m not going to ask my son to apologize.”

Eventually, they consulted a leading rabbi who declared that Gvaryahu’s son “did a wonderful job and there’s no reason for him to apologize.”

It was at that point that Gvaryahu decided they needed to start their own school.

The first time that Israelis heard the term “Price Tag” in the context of payback was in December 2009. It was dubbed so by a small group of extreme right-wing West Bank settlers who had begun indiscriminately attacking Palestinians.

Gvaryahu explained the psychology behind it: “Something happened to us by Palestinians, by the army, by politicians, whatever … someone will pay the price. The thinking is, we don’t care that you’re innocent, we don’t care that you are Christian, Muslim…. You’re not Jewish, you’ll pay the price. We’ll burn, damage your mosque, your house, your car, your olive trees, and that’s called, ‘Price Tag,’ happening almost daily in the West Bank. Most of them, we don’t hear about. But, after a terror attack by Muslims, unfortunately, we have a bunch of them in the last two months … there’s been attacks by extreme settlers.”

While Tag Mechir destroys, Tag Meir aims to rebuild and bring light. “So, we call the people, the victims, in hospitals, villages, wherever, mosques, monasteries or churches, and we create a solidarity visit,” said Gvaryahu.

photo - Flowers of Peace volunteers on Jerusalem Day — Flowers of Peace volunteers on Jerusalem Day. *(photo from Tag Meir)*

“Over the years, we’ve gained many, many Jewish, Christian and Muslim friends, and that’s very important. It’s important, because it’s a correct response to that crime, because they want to create terror or fear, especially among Muslims and Christians. So, those visits strengthen the relationship between Jews and Muslims and Christians. We have three Facebook pages – one in Hebrew, one in Arabic and one in English – with 35,000 followers.”

People in Israel not connected to Tag Meir have started solidarity visits by themselves, aiming to mend fences with Palestinian neighbours. “First, you know, I’m happy about Tag Meir,” Gvaryahu said about this development. “Second, that they get that this is the right way to respond to a hate crime or a price tag attack – it’s wonderful. It’s what we want to happen.

“This isn’t something that can be solved quickly. It’s education. We try to educate society, especially the Zionist society, we hope.”

This year, due to the rise in Tag Mechir attacks, Tag Meir held an education symposium on Sept. 10 at the Van Leer Jerusalem Institute, near the home of the president of Israel, Reuven Rivlin. Among the speakers were the former head of the Israeli security agency, Shin Bet, Yaakov Peri, senior rabbis from different segments of society, and the mother of one of the Jewish victims of terror, Sarah Rosenfeld.

“Her son [Malachi Moshe] was murdered and she will give her strong condemning opinion about ‘price tag,’” said Gvaryahu prior to the symposium. “When we came to visit the Rosenfeld family, she said that, if Malachi would be with us, he would join Tag Meir.

“This is very unique about Tag Meir, that we visit both settlers and victims of Tag Mechir on the Palestinian side. It’s not that pleasant an activity sometimes, but we feel it’s very important.”

One of the yearly events Tag Meir hosts is a flower giveaway called Flowers of Peace. They go out into the streets of the Old City in Jerusalem on Jerusalem Day and hand out roses. “This year, we spread 2,000 flowers all over the Old City,” said Gvaryahu. “It’s a symbolic act, sending a message of peace to Muslims and Christians in Jerusalem.”

While Gvaryahu said 40% of the people in Jerusalem are Muslim, Jerusalem Day is only celebrated by the Jewish population. He said some of the songs that are traditionally sung must irritate the Muslim population. “Unfortunately, we don’t celebrate it, in our opinion, in the right way,” he said. “We just march with Israeli flags from West Jerusalem to the Western Wall through the market. Not all the songs are horrible, but a few of them are. So, this is our response. We march with Flowers of Peace.”

For more information, visit tag-meir.org.il/en.

Rebeca Kuropatwa is a Winnipeg freelance writer.

Learning negotiation together

The Pathways program pairs Arab and Jewish high schools for two-day experiential workshops about interest-based negotiation skills. (photo by Emily Singer)

As politicians debate about how to bring peace to the Middle East, or if it’s even possible, a newly formed nonprofit organization is bringing together hundreds of Jewish and Arab children across Israel every year and teaching them how to get along.

The Pathways program, directed by Avi Goldstein and facilitated by Michael Schnall, pairs Arab and Jewish high schools for two-day experiential workshops about interest-based negotiation skills. The program, sponsored by the U.S. embassy and run in partnership with school networks and community organizations, is based in large part on concepts from the international bestselling book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton (Penguin Books, 2011) and on methodology developed at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School. Thanks to the initiative of the Darca network, the school where I teach, Shaked Darca on Kibbutz Sde Eliyahu, has had the tremendous privilege of participating in Pathways for the past two years.

The Pathways program combines a few goals, the most important of which would be difficult to say. Last year, when we received the invitation to apply to participate, I saw it as an exciting opportunity to expose my students to two intensive days of study and conversation in English. The entire program is in English, and this is a natural common language for communication among the Jewish and Arab students. But the program exposes the students to so much more.

With rich and varied activities, the students learn English as the international language of negotiation, conflict resolution and peace. They develop many new skills with one central message – in order to “win,” you don’t need for someone else to “lose.” When you listen to others and you are curious about their needs, instead of reaching a compromise, you can often reach agreements in which both sides walk away with a feeling of success.

And all of this takes place in a setting in which students have the opportunity to meet kids from a very different population and culture. Or maybe not so different.

The program opens with an activity designed to foster cooperation among the students, while emphasizing what they share. They are divided into mixed groups and given the task to build a paper chain made up of things everyone in the group has in common. Sound simple? Now try it with one hand behind your back. Literally. The students need to talk and plan together, and also to write, cut and paste, all with lots of cooperation, creativity, and even laughter.

Throughout the program, the kids are given situations in which they have to negotiate with each other. For example, a kid lends his friend his iPod. The next day, after the iPod is returned, he discovers that it doesn’t work and he wants his friend to buy him a new one. This is his “position.” But, before he goes into negotiation with his friend, he has to weigh a number of important issues. What does he think his friend is going to claim? Might there be any truth to it? How valuable is his friendship with this person? What is most important to him, and on what is he prepared to compromise?

There is a lot of discussion over the two days about “positions” versus “interests.” If each side comes to the table after serious consideration of what is really important to him or her (their “interests”) and curiosity about what the other party wants and needs, this leaves open the possibility for empathy as well as creative, outside-the-box thinking, and then the sky’s the limit.

The students are exposed to a wide variety of situations that must be negotiated, but none of them addresses the political conflict in which they live. They are able to make connections and compare shared values with students whom they might never otherwise meet, in a setting where the “sides” are mixed up, so they are not negotiating as Jews and Arabs, but rather “Table 1” against “Table 6,” “parent” versus “child,” or friend and friend.

The first day concludes with two powerful exercises. In one, the students are asked to divide into pairs, lock arms and “try to bring their partner’s arm down to the table as many times as possible.” The students proceed to arm wrestle. Mike, the program facilitator, asks why the students felt a need to struggle with their partner. “Did anyone notice that with cooperation, both players could arrive at much higher results?”

The final activity of Day 1 is an improvisational role play of a negotiation between a father and child. The child wants to go to a party and to come home late. Mike is the stubborn father who says, “By 10:30.” The part of the kid is played by students, who take turns volunteering. It begins with a classic negotiation of compromises. Midnight? No, 10:40. How about 11:30? No, 10:45. Whatever the outcome, someone will walk away disappointed. Until one student finally goes up to the stage and asks the Pathways magic word, “Why?” After a real conversation about interests, the boy understands that his father is worried about safety on the roads at night, and he’s feeling too tired to stay awake until his son arrives home safely. So, the boy suggests he stay overnight at his friend’s house and return home in the morning. Dad agrees. Everyone “wins” and walks away happy.

The second day begins similar to the first. After another ice-breaker, volunteers are invited to participate in a game. The kids are divided into two teams. There is a long rope, and each side has to pull the middle of the rope over the red line on their side as many times as possible. Rida, my Arab partner teacher, and I stand there watching in disbelief as the two sides struggle with all their might to “win.” Do they not remember the arm wrestling from the day before? Why are they not working together? But we learned from this and from many other activities that these skills are like muscles. Our habits and assumptions need to be understood and new skills need to be developed and exercised often. The good news is that they are relevant in every aspect of our lives – whether with friends, colleagues, family or business partners – so there is no shortage of opportunities to practise.

By the end of the second day, the students leave with a new language of negotiation – positions versus interests, options versus alternatives, communication, legitimacy, obligation and, of course, everything in English. They also leave thinking a bit differently about “the other,” with some students exchanging emails and telephone numbers.

Unfortunately, after the two days, the program ends and the students remain 45 minutes away, but worlds apart. This year, Pathways has begun new initiatives to build on the program for the future. To this end, I participated in Pathways’ Negotiation Education Teachers Fellowship, funded by the U.S. embassy, designed to bring together a community of teachers to integrate the learning of problem-solving negotiation skills into the English-language curriculum. We are also looking for ways to continue bringing the students together.

I feel incredibly blessed to be a part of the Pathways program and the rich community of Arab and Jewish English teachers in Israel who devote their lives to making the world a better place through education. I’m deeply grateful to the Darca network and to my school, Shaked Darca, for their support and their ongoing desire for innovation and alternative education. I also appreciate the contribution of the U.S. embassy, and Mike and Avi, who created Pathways and continue to keep it going, always thinking how the program can be improved and expanded. Most importantly, I am thankful to our fabulous students, mine and my partner teacher Rida’s, without whose open minds, open hearts and willingness to try new things and to dare to speak in English for two straight days, none of this would be possible.

Our children are truly our future. The more they know the language – and tools – of communication, cooperation and peace, the better our world will be. For more information on Pathways Institute for Negotiation Education, see pathwaysnegotiation.org.

Emily Singer is an English teacher and coordinator at Shaked Darca School on Kibbutz Sde Eliyahu in Israel. Singer taught at Vancouver Talmud Torah and her husband, Ross, was rabbi of Vancouver’s Shaarey Tefilah congregation until 2004.

Israel’s complexities

Noa Baum, one of the presenters at this year’s Cherie Smith JCC Jewish Book Festival, is a professional storyteller who, in recent years, has dedicated herself to promoting peace between Israelis and Palestinians. She has taken a long road to get to where she is today.

Baum was born in the late 1950s in Israel and grew up in the “golden age” of Zionism, where, despite the many challenges and flaws of the young state, the shadow of controversial wars and of the occupation had not yet darkened the Israeli self-image.

book cover - A Land Twice Promised As recounted in her 2016 debut work A Land Twice Promised: An Israeli Woman’s Quest for Peace, Baum grew up with both a deep love of Israel and a keen sense of Jewish vulnerability and the wounds of the Holocaust. The narrative she grew up with about Israel centred on the heroism of its citizen army (“our boys,” she repeatedly calls them) standing up to the bewildering, relentless hatred of the Arab countries. She was deeply shaped by the experience of living through the 1967 Six Day War and the 1973 Yom Kippur War as a child.

Over the years, she developed a more nuanced view. She came to face the existence of a hateful, right-wing extreme in Israel and was bitterly disappointed by the actions of the Israeli government in the 1982 Lebanon War, particularly Israeli complicity in the Sabra and Shatila massacre. Her brother, himself named after an uncle who died defending Israel, also suffered post-traumatic stress syndrome from the Lebanon War, leading to a lifelong struggle with mental illness.

When Baum left Israel to move with her husband to the United States to support his career, she left with her simplistic narratives shattered, but an enduring deep love of Israel and the Jewish people.

In her youth, Baum had passionately loved acting and storytelling and, in the United States, she became a professional storyteller. As a tale-spinner, she played it safe, however, presenting upbeat material and folktales and not touching on the conflicts and contradictions of modern Israel. All of that began to change when she nurtured a relationship with another mother, a Palestinian she calls “Jamuna” in the book. As a result of their friendship and the advice of storytelling mentors that she needed to stop shying away from difficult material, Baum began listening to Jamuna’s heart-wrenching stories of growing up Palestinian in the land of Baum’s dreams, with an eye to telling Jamuna’s stories.

“Hearing how the soldiers of the IDF, ‘our boys,’ were to a young Jamuna the source of terror and hatred, was heartwrenching,” Baum told the Independent.

Baum began touring with a one-woman play called A Land Twice Promised, wherein she delivered monologues from the perspectives of herself, her mother, Jamuna and Jamuna’s mother. The show aimed to bring healing and be a contribution toward peace. As one would expect, it was received in many different ways. Baum was called a “traitor” and told she “should be ashamed” of herself; others said she had described their own Israeli or Palestinian experience perfectly. Both Israelis and Palestinians said the show was not balanced enough. One woman from Nigeria said the show made her realize Jews were human beings; others said they’d never felt compassion for Israelis before seeing the show. Some said it was the first time they empathized with Palestinians.

“In the beginning, it was terrifying,” said Baum. “Audience reactions would throw me into bouts of anxiety.”

Gradually, she developed the ability to process the diverse reactions and became confident in what she was doing, and she continued to actively evolve the show based on audience feedback that she solicited.

In 2015, after doing the show for 14 years, Baum was approached by someone interested in making it into a book. It was an offer she couldn’t refuse, though she had never written before. “I’m not really a writer,” she said. “I come from the world of performance, I’m a speaking artist.”

Despite Baum’s lack of writing experience, A Land Twice Promised is a moving, lucid memoir that powerfully evokes the Israeli experience in the last decades, and Baum’s personal and familial struggles to come to terms with it.

The book provokes empathy and insight, and will lead most readers to embrace a view of Israel and the Palestinian conflict that is both complex and compassionate. The book has received favorable reviews and even won many commendations, including one from Pulitzer Prize-winning author David Shipler, writer of Arab and Jew: Wounded Spirits in the Promised Land.

Baum will speak at the book festival on Nov 29 at 6:30 p.m. For tickets and the full festival schedule, visit jccgv.com/content/jewish-book-fest.

Matthew Gindin is a freelance journalist, writer and lecturer. He writes regularly for the Forward and All That Is Interesting, and has been published in Religion Dispatches, Situate Magazine, Tikkun and elsewhere. He can be found on Medium and Twitter.

Stories about diversity

Cynthia Fidel was the coordinator of AMIA’s literary contest, which resulted in the publication Primer Concurso de Cuentos Infantiles. (photo by Rebeca Kuropatwa)

When the AMIA (Asociación Mutual Israelita Argentina) bombing occurred in Buenos Aires on July 18, 1994, there was already tension in Argentina between different religious and other groups. The bombing was a sad reminder of the need for diligence – and creativity – in mitigating hatred and fear.

After the bombing, it was very difficult for people to feel comfortable enough to return to the AMIA building, especially parents with small children. Hence, the Jewish education advisor for AMIA, Gabriela Wilensky, developed a program called AMIA for Kids. On two Sundays a month, she brought in top performers to engage children and their parents in forming fresh connections between families and AMIA.

In 2014, Wilensky came up with the first literary contest for kids that would have them explore the concepts of culture and identity. The idea was to involve the greater Buenos Aires community by partnering with 40 public and private schools, with children of all religions. Recently, the literary contest coordinator, Cynthia Fidel, moved to Winnipeg with her family.

“This contest was part of the 20-year anniversary of AMIA, which happened in 2014,” said Fidel. It was open to children from 8 to 12 years old.

When all was said and done, Fidel and Wilensky received 200 story submissions. With the help of a couple of local children’s book authors, 10 winning stories were selected to be published in a book called Primer Concurso de Cuentos Infantiles (First Contest of Fairy Tales) that was published by MILA for Kids, a division of MILA publishing house.

“They talked about different problems, ideas and questions regarding cultural diversity and identity,” said Fidel. “The first prize went to a girl who wrote about cultural diversity. It’s a collection of certain ideas and questions but, above all, it’s a collection of all the incredible imaginations of the kids.”

Now there is talk of launching a second literary contest, because of the success of the first. “They were really happy about what happened with the kids,” said Fidel.

The contest, which was open to children of all origins and faiths, has sparked dialogue between the kids. The main talking point has been respecting each other’s ideas and understanding that agreement is not needed to achieve mutual respect. Fidel loosely translated one of the first lines in the book’s preface: “Nobody is the same, nor worse or better, just different.”

Primer Concurso de Cuentos Infantiles is 84 pages long and includes the 10 winning stories, as well as an extra story written by several children together.

“Some of the stories talk about some kind of conflict situation and how they solved that situation,” said Fidel. “A recurring theme revolves around how they solved it and prevailed using dialogue.”

An excerpt from the book, as translated by Fidel, reads: “There was a society where some people had curly hair, so they thought they had the right to have more time in front of the mirror, to comb their hair. But, others who had different kinds of hair thought they deserved more time. There were others who were taller and they thought they deserved to cut their hair, while short people didn’t deserve that right.

“Until, one day, a girl wished in her heart that everybody would become equal and have the same characteristics. The wish came true and the entire world became grey – colorless and boring. She wished again to have colors and differences in her world, and everybody got their characteristics back. But, now, everyone loved their uniqueness and celebrated others’ uniqueness, too.”

Fidel is a strong believer that adults can learn a great deal from children. “From my experience,” she said, “it is amazing what you can learn from kids and their reflections if you give them the opportunity to express themselves.”

Fidel said the literary contest is a great representation of AMIA as a whole, as their main principles revolve around democracy and pluralism, and creating spaces for all through communal living and coexistence. “They promote those values,” said Fidel. “I’m very proud to have worked there.”

Rebeca Kuropatwa is a Winnipeg freelance writer.