HIPPY fêtes trailblazer

Carol Slater (photo from mothersmattercentre.ca)

Carol Slater, a former vice-president of National Council of Jewish Women of Canada, was presented with the first-ever Trailblazers Award for helping bring to Canada an innovative Israeli-founded education program that empowers mothers of preschool children.

The award, presented by the Mothers Matter Centre, was part of a virtual event May 5. (See jewishindependent.ca/mothers-importance.)

Slater was one of a small group of people who brought the program Home Instruction for Parents of Preschool Youngsters (HIPPY) to Canada two decades ago. The initiative, which has taken off in countries worldwide, began out of the Britannia Community Centre and Britannia Community Secondary School, in East Vancouver. The national headquarters of the program remains in Vancouver, under the auspices of the Mothers Matter Centre. HIPPY Canada changed its name in 2017 to the Mothers Matter Centre to reflect the fact that they deliver a range of programs, although HIPPY remains the core of the organization.

Slater spoke with the Independent recently, along with Wazi Dlamini-Kapenda, a Vancouverite who was the first HIPPY director in Canada and remains head of the national program.

HIPPY was started in 1969 at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem by the late Dr. Avima Lombard.

“When the first wave of African immigrants came to Israel and spoke no Hebrew, [Lombard] realized the disconnect between the children and the parents,” Slater said. “The parents didn’t know what was expected of the children, or of the parents.”

Slater and Dlamini-Kapenda take pride in the relative simplicity of the HIPPY structure. A new program is developed when a community identifies HIPPY as a program that would be of benefit to mothers and children. The community then approaches the Mothers Matter Centre to help with starting it up. In other cases, MMC approaches the community to let them know about the program and support them in implementing it, providing seed funding to get it off the ground, said Dlamini-Kapenda. The community can start with a minimum of two to four home visitors, depending on the size of the community, then each visitor recruits 10 to 12 families. The home visitor drops in on each family every week for at least an hour during the school year, and teaches the mother the week’s activities using the HIPPY curriculum. The lessons are taught using role-play, in which the home visitor and the mother take turns being the teacher (mother) and the student (child), practising the lesson before the mother teaches the week’s lessons to their preschooler.

“The basis of this program is that all parents want the best for their children, all parents want their children to succeed and to enter school ready to learn,” said Dlamini-Kapenda. “The parents themselves can play a role in this in building capacity within the home. Instead of parents relying on sending their children to preschool, which some parents couldn’t afford, we could go into the home, which is actually important because the home is where success begins. We all know that.”

“One of the very critical things,” Slater said, “is giving the parent the confidence that she can go to [her child’s] school because what has very often happened in immigrant situations is that the mother may not speak the language very well and, if she doesn’t go to school, she doesn’t follow her child and if she doesn’t follow her child, her child can fall behind and she doesn’t know about it. One of the most important things is the empowerment of the parent to understand that she is the first teacher of her children. It’s a fantastic concept when you think of it. So simple.”

The program is offered free to mothers and all supplies are provided, although almost everything that the mother will need to do activities can be found in the home. The families targeted for the HIPPY program are those with low literacy or deemed “at risk.” Special emphasis is given to immigrant and refugee communities and Indigenous populations. HIPPY has separate streams for multicultural and Indigenous families, recognizing different approaches to learning. Home visitors will usually be recruited from within the linguistic communities they serve.

Slater’s award recognizes her work in getting HIPPY off the ground in 2001.

“Carol was very instrumental in getting the funding and knocking on doors and talking to every person in a position to be able to get us the first funding to run the first four or five years of the program here in Canada,” said Dlamini-Kapenda. “I don’t know, without Carol, how far we would have gone.”

Dr. Debbie Bell, founding director of Simon Fraser University’s community education program, was working on developing strategies to create access to education for low-literacy communities. Slater and Bell connected after Slater happened upon a brochure about the nascent program. Slater, who has lived in Israel, Vancouver and, now, Montreal, saw it as an ideal fit for National Council of Jewish Women.

Seizing the moment, Slater beat the bushes for financing. Bell was emphatic that they should not launch HIPPY without a budget for several years of programming because that would be unfair to participating families. Slater went to Ottawa and, with the help of several key figures, obtained funding from the federal health ministry to get HIPPY up and running.

She credits Dr. Hedy Fry, member of Parliament for Vancouver-Centre, as an early supporter.

“She was so excited about the program,” Slater recalled. “She met Debbie and myself and we used to meet in her office. She sat me at a desk, she gave me a list of all the cabinet ministers and their secretaries and their private phone numbers. I just sat there and I phoned.”

An assistant to Allan Rock, who was then minister of health, was equally supportive. Slater left the meeting with a commitment for $250,000, which jumpstarted HIPPY Canada.

Slater also credits late Vancouver philanthropist Jack Diamond and the Diamond Foundation for crucial support that got the program started. The Vancouver Foundation also committed to four years of funding, something they had never done before, said Dlamini-Kapenda, who was then hired as the first HIPPY coordinator in Canada.

At the awards ceremony earlier this month, Canada’s chief public health officer, Dr. Theresa Tam, and Dr. Cindy Blackstock, a Gitxsan activist for child welfare and a professor in McGill University’s School of Social Work, received the Because Mothers Matter Award for their noteworthy professional accomplishments while giving back to their community. Two HIPPY mothers with extraordinary stories, Nusrat Awan and Jessica Seegerts, were also honoured.

Dementia care is self-care

Karen Tyrell, founder of Personalized Dementia Solutions, spoke recently at an online event hosted by Beth Tikvah and the Kehila Society. (photo from dementiasolutions.ca)

To care for people with dementia, caregivers must first ensure they care for themselves. That was a message from Karen Tyrell, an expert with 25 years’ experience assisting people with dementia and those who care for them.

May is caregiver awareness month and Tyrell, who founded Personalized Dementia Solutions, was speaking at an online event May 19, sponsored by Beth Tikvah Synagogue and the Kehila Society of Richmond. Tyrell, who is also author of Cracking the

Dementia Code: Creative Solutions to Cope with Changed Behaviours, teaches people how to deal with dementia in loved ones through one-on-one and group consultation.

Common symptoms of dementia include impairment of memory and thinking, judgment and communication problems and personality changes.

Tyrell noted that the stress caused by caregiving for a person with dementia can result in physical and emotional health issues, some of which themselves can exacerbate the causes that bring on dementia. So, it can become a cycle in families.

She offered a range of strategies, such as breathing exercises, for caregivers dealing with stress. She also emphasized the need to share your concerns with others before they evolve into a crisis.

“As soon as you notice your stress levels are starting to climb and you’re having a hard time to breathe because of what you’re going through, please reach out, tell someone,” she said. “Reach out to your community, reach out to your doctor, reach out to a counselor, reach out to the Alzheimer’s Society in the community that you’re in. Reach out to someone to tell them, because, when you talk about it, then others will give you suggestions on what you can do.”

She urged caregivers to accept help when offered.

“Please don’t think that you’re going to be fine or that you’re going to be an inconvenience to others,” she said. “You need that help. Nobody can handle caring for someone with progressive dementia all by themselves. It’s not humanly possible from the beginning to the end.”

Another tip is to have realistic expectations.

“If you are thinking, I can do this all on my own because I’m the wife and this is my duty, in some ways, I would tell you, that’s great. You’re doing great,” Tyrell said. “But is it realistic that you can do this all on your own?”

Setting boundaries is another key.

“It’s hard to say no to people, but, when you’re setting boundaries for what you will and will not do, and say no to certain things, then you’re going to take better care of yourself,” she explained. For example, some people accept that they can continue to care for their loved one at home until, for example, the person becomes incontinent more than once a day, or until the person with dementia is no longer able to go to their twice-a-week adult day program, giving the caregiver a short respite.

An inability to get proper sleep is a dangerous cycle, Tyrell warned. Exhaustion on the part of the caregiver is a recipe for disaster. Melatonin for the caregiver or the person with dementia could help, or a paid worker to sleep on the couch for a limited period in case they are needed, she said. If possible, the caregiver might get away for a couple of days or the loved one could go into a few days of respite care.

Developing negative emotions and responses is understandable, she added, but finding ways to be positive is critical.

“Try to find some of the positives of your situation,” she said. “One fellow said him and his dad never got along all of their life, they had a really rocky relationship, but when he started to develop dementia, his personality changed and they became best friends. He looked at the positive: ‘It’s not fun to see my dad go through this but I found something good in this.’”

Laughter is a medicine, she added. Remaining social – even via the computer if the pandemic makes in-person socializing difficult – and having laughs with friends can go a long way to keeping a caregiver healthy.

Meditation, yoga, prayer, relaxing exercises or activities are also important tools.

“Exercise is proven to help us burn adrenaline,” she said. “So, when you’re stressed, go for a walk, try to burn off some of that adrenaline. Move that body. Walking is a great exercise.

“Eating healthy is helpful,” she added. Dark green vegetables and all sorts of berries, but especially blueberries, have antioxidants that help slow the aging process.

The presentation is available for viewing at btikvah.ca.

The power of breath

Yoga therapist and teacher Tianne Allan (photo from yogatianne.com)

Don’t hold your breath. Breath is life, and each breath we take optimizes our health. This is what I learned at Jewish Seniors Alliance’s third empowerment session – Discover the Power of Your Breath – which was held on May 4.

Gyda Chud, co-president of JSA, welcomed the 75 Zoom participants, explaining that the overarching theme for the empowerment series is “Be Inspired.”

Fran Goldberg introduced the speaker – yoga therapist and teacher Tianne Allan, who was involved for two decades in the world of aquatics and high-performance athletics. After a car accident, her yoga practice became her pathway to healing, both physically and emotionally. She now specializes in pain care and in the treatment of anxiety and insomnia.

Allan guided the group in movement – breathing while opening the arms and bringing them back to the chest. She explained that the foundation of our breath is comprised of three steps:

1. Sit up straight and breathe through your nose.
2. Low and slow, take a breath down into your belly.
3. Smooth and steady, inhale and exhale.

Other types of breathing are the relaxation breath, where you sit back, relax and exhale with a sound; and the humming breath, to relieve anxiety, where you inhale through the nose and exhale through a hum.

Correct breathing can also help ease pain, Allan explained. And it can help us sleep better. The sleep exercise involved imagining ourselves looking through the ceiling to the blue sky and letting the sun fill our bodies with warmth. This exercise actually lulled some of us to sleep.

Shanie Levin thanked Allan for getting us involved in using our bodies and minds, and reminded the audience of the JSA’s next Empowerment Series session, on June 28, featuring Libby Yu, a classical pianist.

For more information on Allan, see yogatianne.com.

Tamara Frankel is a member of the board of Jewish Seniors Alliance and of the editorial committee of Senior Line magazine. She is also a board member of the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver.

City honours Cornelia Hahn Oberlander

Cornelia Hahn Oberlander, z”l, at her house in Vancouver. (© Chanel Blouin)

Vancouver City Council has bestowed the Freedom of the City Award on Cornelia Hahn Oberlander, CC, OBC, a pioneer in landscape architecture and a beloved member of Vancouver’s Jewish community. Council approved the award on May 18, 2021, days before Oberlander passed away on May 22 at the age of 99.

“Cornelia Oberlander was one of Vancouver’s most renowned Jewish residents and, during Jewish Heritage Month this May, we honour her outstanding accomplishments in bringing world-class landscape design to Canada, and to Vancouver in particular,” said Mayor Kennedy Stewart. “On behalf of council, I extend my deepest sympathies to her family and friends. May her memory be a blessing.”

After escaping Nazi persecution in Germany at the age of 18, Oberlander immigrated to the United States via England, and graduated among the first class of women from Harvard University with a degree in landscape architecture. She later settled in Vancouver and founded her own landscape architecture firm, bringing with her a vision of urban environments with pockets of nature that continues to shape our cityscape.

“Cornelia Oberlander was a true icon of our Jewish community. The Freedom of the City Award honours Cornelia’s lifetime of accomplishments in a month that celebrates the impact that Jewish Canadians have had on society as a whole,” said Ezra S. Shanken, chief executive officer of the Jewish Federation of Vancouver.

Vancouver residents and visitors continue to benefit from Oberlander’s dream of “green cities” that infuse rural and urban harmony. Her contributions to Vancouver’s public spaces include logs as seating on our public beaches (1963), Robson Square (1983), the Vancouver Public Library Central Branch rooftop garden (1995) and the VanDusen Botanical Garden Visitor Centre (2011). She designed landscapes for the Vancouver General Hospital burn unit garden, and the University of British Columbia’s Museum of Anthropology and the C.K. Choi Building.

Oberlander also made her mark nationally and internationally. She designed landscapes for non-market housing and playgrounds across the country, helped draft national guidelines for the creation of play spaces in Canada, and worked on major projects like the National Gallery of Canada, and the Canadian Chancery in Washington, D.C.

The Freedom of the City is an honour reserved for individuals who have gained national or international acclaim in their field and brought recognition to Vancouver through their work. The City began granting the Freedom of the City Award in 1936. Recipients have their names inscribed in the Book of Freedoms.

Nominations are submitted by City Council members and must be approved by a unanimous vote of Council. Oberlander’s nomination was supported by the Jewish Federation of Vancouver, the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs, and the Jewish Museum and Archives of British Columbia in honour of Jewish Heritage Month.

Learn more about the award and previous recipients at vancouver.ca/your-government/freedom-of-the-city.aspx.

Community milestones … Waldman Library, Kleiner Services, Prairie Sonata

The winning entries of the Isaac Waldman Jewish Public Library’s bookmark contest.

Isaac Waldman Jewish Public Library wishes mazal tov to the winners of its bookmark contest and to all the contest participants. “We really appreciate the efforts of all the participants and the wonderful creativity they have displayed in designing their bookmarks. It was a pleasure to review them all,” said the library in an email. “This year, we have chosen four designs that best reflect the theme of sh’mirat ha’teva, protecting the environment.”

Chosen were the bookmarks by Eli Stefanek, Grade 2, Richmond Jewish Day School; Nicole-Noya, Grade 4, RJDS; Dov Bondar, Grade 5, RJDS; and Eva Rogachevsky and Abrianna Jacobs, Grade 5, Vancouver Talmud Torah.

***

Kleiner Services Inc., owned by Mary and Konstantin Kleiner, was among the top five finalists for the Best Immigrant Entrepreneur Award this year. This award recognizes outstanding new Canadians who, after immigrating, have created successful small businesses while demonstrating leadership and breaking down barriers.

Across four days earlier this month, Small Business BC announced six winners in various categories, capping a competition that saw 937 award nominations in 88 communities across the province. The Best Immigrant Entrepreneur Award went to Charcuterie Vancouver, and the other three finalists were Audielicious Restaurant (Fort St. John), Artemex Mexican Handcrafts (West Kelowna) and Soul Bite Food Inc. (Coquitlam).

Kleiner Services Inc. is a professional moving company that offers pre- and post-moving services, such as packing, storage and assembly. They are based in the heart of the Lower Mainland, servicing Greater Vancouver, Fraser Valley and Vancouver Island.

***

The Independent Press Award recognized Prairie Sonata by Winnipeg-based writer Sandy Shefrin Rabin as the winner in the category of Best Young Adult Fiction.

The competition is judged by experts from different aspects of the book industry, including publishers, writers, editors, book cover designers and professional copywriters. Selected award winners and distinguished favourites are based on overall excellence. This year, the award had entries worldwide – from Australia, Canada, India, Ireland, Japan, Singapore, Switzerland and the United Kingdom, among other countries.

“The quality and quantity of excellent independently published books hit a record…. We are so proud to announce these key titles representing global independent publishing,” said awards sponsor Gabrielle Olczak.

To see this year’s list of winners, visit independentpressaward.com/2021winners. (The JI’s review can be found at jewishindependent.ca/life-changing-impact.)

Making aging healthier

Shira Haas is the featured guest at the July 7 event organized by Canadian Associates of Ben-Gurion University of the Negev. (photo from CABGU)

Israeli actress Shira Haas, star of the popular Netflix series Shtisel and Unorthodox, has been busy in recent months. Not only is she preparing to take on the role of a young Golda Meir in the upcoming series Lioness, executive produced by Barbra Streisand, but she is also the featured guest at the Canadian national virtual gala in support of Ben-Gurion University of the Negev (BGU) on July 7.

An “Unorthodox” National Virtual Gala for Brain Research, organized by Canadian Associates of Ben-Gurion University (CABGU), BGU’s Canadian fundraising arm, will raise money for the Canada Fund to Advance Brain Research.

“We are thrilled to share this exciting announcement with our community,” said Mitchell Oelbaum, national president of CABGU.

“According to the World Health Organization, there are approximately 50 million active cases of dementia worldwide, with an estimated 10 million new cases being added each year. Ten million people battle Parkinson’s each year globally. And, according to the World Stroke

Organization, 13 million people suffer from stroke annually. We wanted to do our part to help improve the chances of finding a cure for these debilitating diseases.”

The numbers are large, and there are no signs of a slowdown. That is why the fund was established by CABGU, with the goal of supporting groundbreaking and cutting-edge research for neurodegenerative diseases at the university’s Zlotowski Centre for Neuroscience.

“We are getting closer to determining the causes of age-related neurodegenerative diseases,” explained Dr. Debra Toiber of the department of life sciences in the faculty of natural sciences at BGU. “It’s an exciting time to be a scientist and uncovering the mechanisms of aging.”

Toiber is one of 67 researchers at the Zlotowski Centre. Her lab recently discovered that the SIRT6 protein is critical for the prevention of neurodegeneration, which can lead to Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases. Colleague Dr. Shelly Levy-Tzedek’s lab studies the impact of age and disease on the control of body movement and how best to employ robotics to facilitate a fast and efficient rehabilitation process. Meanwhile, Dr. Claude Brodski, also with the Zlotowski Centre for Neuroscience, is currently conducting a study, albeit in its early stages, that may offer a disease-modified drug target to address the impact of Parkinson’s. While these findings are encouraging, more research needs to be conducted.

“CABGU launched the Canada Fund to Advance Brain Research at BGU in April,” said CABGU chief executive officer Mark Mendelson. “Our team has been hard at work ever since, and there is a strong appetite for this subject matter here in Canada. The sad reality is that we all know someone, whether it is a relative, a friend or a neighbour, who is struggling with one of these devastating brain diseases.”

The national virtual gala is already more than 50% sold out. To learn how to become a sponsor or to purchase tickets, head to bengurion.ca.

 

$100K raised for Sheba

Dr. Joe Schwarcz, director of the Office for Science and Society, McGill University, presented on The Chemistry of Wine and Its Many Benefits, at Canadian Friends of Sheba’s virtual event on May 2. (screenshot)

Canadian Friends of Sheba hosted Sheba Under the Stars on May 2, raising close to $100,000 for Israel’s Sheba Medical Centre. More than 100 guests attended the virtual evening featuring live entertainment, wine tasting and presentations on lifestyle choices from leading world experts.

Guests received a complimentary gift bag of wine and chocolates, and were treated to numerous performances from host Stacey Kay, Juno Award-winning singer/rapper and finalist on America’s Got Talent. The hour-long show also featured live wine tasting with Michael Avery, winemaker at Galil Mountain Winery, in Israel, as well as a presentation on The chemistry of Wine and Its Many Benefits, by Dr. Joe Schwarcz, director of the Office for Science and Society at McGill University.

Prof. Yitshak Kreiss, director general, Sheba Medical Centre, opened the event by highlighting Sheba’s global fight against the coronavirus through its recent support of missions to India, northern Italy, Cyprus and Uruguay, and called on the guests to be “inspired by Sheba’s vision to transform into the city of health.”

Presentations from “Sheba’s stars” included Redefining the Field of Lifestyle Medicine by Dr. Rani Polak, founding director of Sheba’s Centre of Lifestyle Medicine, and from Prof. Michal Schnaider Beeri, director of Sheba’s Joseph Sagol Neuroscience Centre, who shared tips on how wellness and lifestyle affects the brain.

To watch the full recording of the show, visit youtube.com/watch?v=QE2TRvm3G4Q.

Increased level of risk

Sheba Medical Centre recently published a study undertaken over three years by its department of obstetrics and gynecology in conjunction with Sheba Genetic Institute and the Genetics Institute in the Tel Aviv Sourasky Medical Centre, which found that women of Ashkenazi descent were twice as likely to have a baby born with Fragile X syndrome (FXS) compared to Jewish non-Ashkenazi women.

Nearly 600 female carriers of the FXS gene from various Jewish heritages participated in the study, which was published in the peer-reviewed publication Nature. Previously, it was known that only CGG repeats and AGG interruptions affect the risk for a child with FXS. This new research adds a third identifier, children of two Ashkenazi parents, allowing for better personalized genetic counselling for carriers who are trying to conceive.

FXS is the most common genetic cause of mental disability in an unborn child and causes intellectual disability, behavioural and learning challenges, and various physical characteristics. The prevalence of carriers in the Jewish population stands at about one in 150 women.

Dr. Noam Domniz of the IVF unit at Sheba Medical Centre said: “The new information from this study regarding the influence of ethnicity stresses the importance of providing more accurate and personally targeted genetic counseling to each woman, according to her personal level of risk. At Sheba, we aim to use this new approach to better evaluate each carrier’s risk level, empower them to make informed choices, leading to a clearer and safer road to motherhood.”

New knife & the pepper

City Centre Urgent Primary Care Centre is one of several UPCC clinics in British Columbia. (photo by John van Bockxmeer)

It was an ordinary Wednesday morning. Up at 5:15 a.m., walk the dog, eat a piece of toast with cream cheese and honey, and hop on my stationary bike for a five-kilometre jaunt before Laina, my physical trainer, arrives for our 75-minute session in my “Super Diva” home gym. At exactly 9:30, I was preparing my “Israeli” breakfast, which includes a hard-boiled egg, mashed avocado, tomatoes, salad and a quarter segment of a green pepper filled with hummus, when it happened….

A week earlier, I had decided that my battered (at least 50-year-old) set of knives had to go. I had a coupon from Bed Bath and Beyond, which gave me a discount of 20%. I got to the store early; being in the time of COVID-19, I wished to avoid crowds. I found a saleswoman, who opened the glass case and brought out a couple of knife sets in wooden or plastic blocks. I chose one, paid at the cash, and left. One of my acquaintances, I can’t remember who, later said to me, “Be careful, new knives are very sharp.”

Back to that morning. I grabbed one of the new knives, held the green pepper in my right hand and sliced down to divide it in two with my left hand (I am ambidextrous). The knife went right through the green pepper and into the fleshy tip of my middle finger. It happened in a flash. I took one look and knew that I was in trouble.

I do not know my own strength. This is not the first time that I have exerted too much force – in cleaning the inside of the oven door, I pressed too hard and broke the glass. The repairman asked me, “How did you do it?” He had never heard of a woman breaking the glass as I had. Once, I pressed down so hard on a plastic broom handle that the shaft split and went straight into my finger, another catastrophe.

But I digress. I looked at the wound, it was deep. This would require stitches (within four hours)! After raising four sons, nine grandchildren and many dogs, you learn a few things. I wrapped it tight. Then I called my family doctor, who owns the Una Medical Clinic, which is located one block from my house. The receptionist heard my story but said they were completely booked and I should go to a clinic on Homer Street I had never heard of. Frustrated and disappointed, I ate my breakfast then called the clinic back. I said all that was required was a 20-minute procedure to put in a couple of stitches and she relented. I had an appointment at 11:10 a.m. Yeah! By noon, after three painful shots to freeze the finger, I was stitched up and ready to resume my life.

On the wall of the Una Clinic was a poster advertising the City Centre Urgent Primary Care Centre. If you live in my neighbourhood, this is the place to go when you are unable to see your family physician or healthcare provider and do not need to go to the emergency department of a hospital. The City Centre clinic is at 1290 Hornby St., and they are open seven days a week, 365 days a year, Monday to Saturday from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., and Sunday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. I took photos of this poster with my iPhone and, when I got home, I added the clinic to my contact list. Somehow, I know that I will be needing their services in the future! And so might you. The list of urgent and primary care centres in British Columbia can be found at healthlinkbc.ca/services-and-resources/upcc. When something happens, there is a place to go. The poster for the City Centre clinic says, “Patients will be seen according to urgency.” That is reassuring. Have a nice day and be careful with knives.

 

Dolores Luber, a retired psychotherapist and psychology teacher, is editor-in-chief of Jewish Seniors Alliance’s Senior Line magazine. She works out four times a week, studies Modern Hebrew twice a week, and is constantly reading books and watching movies. Her motto is “Never underestimate an old lady who can deadlift you.”

Dementia in film, the sequel

Lance Henriksen, left, and Viggo Mortensen in Falling. (photo from indiewire.com)

In February 2016, the Jewish Independent published my column “Dementia, cinema’s darling,” in which I reviewed seven films about people struggling with dementia. Well, here we go again! This pandemic year has seen the release of four extraordinary films that feature people struggling with the symptoms of dementia, those with the illness and those who are close to them.

These films opened my eyes not only to the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, but also how the affected persons perceive what is happening around them and how that altered reality affects loved ones and family members. After having watched these four unique films, I feel like I have taken a course in how dementia evolves, and how it feels to suffer through the gradual deterioration of the self. I have been shocked, educated and enriched by these moving works of art.

Falling (2021): Viggo Mortensen writes, directs and stars in this lacerating drama about a son dealing with his father’s mental decline. Lance Henriksen plays the father Willis, a foul-tempered, bigoted man, filled with intolerance and invective. His meanness is hard to watch. The flashbacks inform us of the subdued menace of Willis, they scrape your senses like sandpaper. John, the son (Mortensen), must call on all his reserves of patience, understanding and love to withstand the onslaught. (I watched it on TIFF Bell Lightbox, but do a Google search to see where it is streaming now.)

The Father (2021): French writer and first-time director Florian Zeller presents a frightening new angle with this movie, which aims to mirror the confusion and discomfort of encroaching dementia. Anthony Hopkins, 83 years old, takes us from the realm of sympathy to empathy. It is disturbing and brilliant. Hopkins, as the father, nails the way in which people learn to cover for their mental mistakes. The supporting cast is excellent, and Hopkins won the best-actor Oscar for his depiction of a mind in decline. (It is on TIFF, but do a Google search.)

Supernova (2020): Stanley Tucci and Colin Firth dazzle as a couple facing their fears. Tusker and Sam have been together for decades. The careers of both have been put on hold because Tusker has been diagnosed with early-onset dementia. They set out on a road trip. Harry Macqueen, the director, has created a drama about love and mortality. The northern English scenery is stunning, as are the performances of these two people stoically accepting mortality. (It is on TIFF and is also accessible on Apple TV+ and perhaps elsewhere.)

image - Martine Chevallier, left, and Barbara Sukowa in Two of Us
Martine Chevallier, left, and Barbara Sukowa in Two of Us. (photo from Magnolia Pictures)

Two of Us (2021): An older lesbian couple is met with unexpected devastation in the aching romantic drama by Filippo Meneghetti. Nina (German actress Barbara Sukowa) and Madeleine (Martine Chevallier) have waited decades to love one another freely. They are preparing to leave France for new beginnings in Rome. First, Madeleine must come out to her children before realizing her dream, but tragedy strikes before she can speak her truth. Sukowa is ferociously great as a woman whose devotion is as fierce as her determination to drag her lover into a more honest life. This is a film of profound intimacy between two people. In French with English subtitles. (It is available at TIFF Bell Lightbox.)

Dolores Luber, a retired psychotherapist and psychology teacher, is editor-in-chief of Jewish Seniors Alliance’s Senior Line magazine. She works out four times a week, studies Modern Hebrew twice a week, and is constantly reading books and watching movies. Her motto is “Never underestimate an old lady who can deadlift you.”