Madison Slobin

Building bridges to inclusion

Volunteers from the Jewish community turn up each June to prepare, label and deliver freshly cooked meals to Black families as a sign of community support. (photo by JFS photo by Madison Slobin)

How do you build a more inclusive Jewish community, one that thrives on diversity? For Vancouver’s Jewish Family Services, says chief executive officer Tanja Demajo, resilience starts with building bridges. And it flourishes with finding common links between cultures.

During the last few years, JFS has been expanding the programs it offers to Jewish communities throughout Metro Vancouver, and looking for new ways to enrich conversations around diversity and inclusion.

Projects like the Shiva Delivers partnership with Vancouver’s Black community and Twice Blessed 2.0: The Jewish LGBTQ2SIA+ Initiative are helping forge alliances and cultural understanding.

Sharing home-cooked meals

Shiva Delivers, which provides traditional home-cooked meals to Black families dealing with loss and grief, was started by Madison Slobin and Becca Schwenk in 2020 following the death of George Floyd, who was killed on May 25 of that year during a routine traffic stop by Minneapolis police. His death ignited protests in cities across North America, including Vancouver. According to Demajo, Shiva Delivers emerged as “a response to the social injustice and the grief that the Black community were experiencing.” (See also jewishindependent.ca/providing-comfort-and-hope.)

Slobin and Schwenk ran the program independently the first year with a cadre of volunteers from the local Jewish community. In 2022, JFS jumped on board, offering its kitchen as an operation centre for the project, which takes place every June. According to Slobin, Jewish families from across Vancouver signed up to cook full-course meals and carry out the deliveries, inspired by the very Jewish tradition of responding to tragedy and mourning with food.

“When someone in our community is grieving, we support them with food and with showing up and saying, ‘we’re here for you,’” Slobin said, noting that the concept was popular with volunteers from the start. “We had young Jews participating, we had Orthodox Jews participating, we had [people] from all spectrums [of the community].”

According to Demajo, news about the program arrived at the right time for JFS.

“JFS was going through this exploration of how do we work with and reach out to different communities,” Demajo said. “What we really learned was, first of all, a large Jewish community was interested in making this connection and intercultural exchange … with the Black community and showing their solidarity. And, on the other hand, the Black community was just touched by the fact that another cultural group offered that support.”

Demajo said she received many expressions of thanks from Black community members stunned by the gesture – and the elaborate dishes. “Are all Jewish people such good cooks?” one person called to find out. “Your food is amazing!”

But the project also helped JFS confirm that there were members of the Black community who were Jewish but not affiliated with the Jewish

community. Demajo said she realized this when a young woman who had received one of the dinners contacted her to ask why the Jewish community was doing this.

“Well, you know,” Demajo told the woman, “we have Black people in [our] community as well, and we want to build bridges and reach out [and] learn from each [other’s communities].” A moment later, Demajo said she heard the woman’s child calling to her. The child was speaking in Hebrew. “And that kind of took me back a little bit,” Demajo admitted.

It turned out the woman had moved here from Israel some years earlier but wasn’t participating in the Vancouver Jewish community. “Even though I lived in Israel,” she told Demajo, “I’ve never felt part of the community here.”

“And I realized at that moment,” Demajo said, “how important this [program] is, because we don’t know who the people are that we seem to support, until we actually do reach out and hear these stories.”

Slobin said the project not only inspires more opportunities for sharing between the two communities, it’s helping convey an important message to Black Jews that they are indeed a welcome part of the Jewish community. “Every single year that we have done it, we have had Black Jews participate and express how meaningful it is for them to see their own community recognize them in this way,” said Slobin.

Being more welcoming

Twice Blessed 2.0: The Jewish LGBTQ2SIA+ Initiative formed in response to a survey that JFS and JQT Vancouver (a volunteer-run Jewish queer and trans nonprofit) compiled in 2021 to determine the needs of the local LGBTQ2SIA+ community. The results were released earlier this year.

Some respondents said they feel unwelcome in the greater Jewish community, while others stated they feel ostracized by the LGBTQ2SIA+ community because they are Jewish. Most respondents felt that clear “‘indicators of support’ for the LGBTQ2SIA+ community would make them more inclined to participate in the Jewish community.”

“Our commitment to diversity and inclusion must speak through our actions, and not only our words.

Although not an easy task, it is an imperative one,” wrote Demajo and JQT executive director Carmel Tanaka in the report, which can be found at jqtvancouver.ca/twice-blessed-2. (See also jewishindependent.ca/thirteen-calls-for-action.)

“One of the lessons we need to learn is, how do we make our agency more welcoming for different people?” Demajo said, “And, very simply, how do we do that in a dignified way?”

These questions are also helping JFS reexamine how it’s interacting with other cultures and communities when it’s providing social and economic support to Jewish families.

“I think it’s important for us as a community to understand the clients that we support live in very diverse neighbourhoods, which means that probably, on a daily basis, they see a lot of diversity and they live in those circles. When we as an agency provide certain supports to one targeted group and exclude their neighbours … that creates a lot of tension that gets reflected in their day-to-day life. So, at the end of the day, we all go home but they have to deal with the aftermath of the way we provided services … and this is why, on our end, it became really clear that, in order to support our clients, it’s not just a question of providing services directly to them,” explained Demajo. “It’s also ensuring that they have a safe community, a community of allies, a community that they can rely on when we’re not around. By building these bridges between all these different groups, I believe that we can create that.”

Learning from the past

JFS is currently exploring a number of new projects focused on diversity and social inclusion, both within the Jewish community as well as forming relationships outside its cultural space. JFS’s the Kitchen is often the meeting space.

“I think the beauty of having a kitchen is having a space for, again, sharing the stories and experiences through food,” Demajo said.

Recently, JFS has been partnering with organizations like CIJA and the Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver to explore ways in which different cultures can share their culinary traditions, stories and passions.

Demajo said JFS is also doing a review of some of the programs it has offered in the past. “We really want to learn from things that went well, things that did not go well, and we understand in this space that there will be a lot of road [to travel], which is not easy. But it takes a lot of courage to step outside of that comfort zone as well.”

About tikkun olam, repairing the world, she said, “Conversation may start with a handful of like-minded people, but it takes diversity and acceptance to build an inclusive community.

Jan Lee is an award-winning editorial writer whose articles and op-eds have been published in B’nai B’rith Magazine, Voices of Conservative and Masorti Judaism and Baltimore Jewish Times, as well as a number of business, environmental and travel publications. Her blog can be found at multiculturaljew.polestarpassages.com.

Reaching younger Jews

Madison Slobin wrote a guide on the Jewish ritual of mikvah because she wants to help people navigate and change our world.

Madison Slobin appeared in the pages of the Jewish Independent a few months ago for two projects she helped create: YVR Yenta and Shivah Delivers. These initiatives take Jewish rituals, such as matchmaking, in the first instance, and how we comfort mourners, in the second, and put a modern twist on them. Her latest project is another such endeavour: the writing and compiling of Rebirthing Ourselves to Rebuild Our World: A Feminist Mikvah Guide.

The guide begins by answering the question, what is a mikvah? “Mikvah is an ancient Jewish cleansing ritual performed in a sacred bath or in a natural body of water,” she writes. “We can participate in a mikvah ceremony to mark moments of transition, to make our souls and bodies feel holy, and to metaphorically rebirth ourselves and start anew.”

The Jewish Independent spoke to her about the project.

JI: What motivated you to write this guide?

MS: I was motivated to write this guide for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I saw a lot of friends and loved ones struggling to go through the transition from summer to fall due to COVID-19. It seemed like everyone’s plans for school, for work and in their lives generally had been altered or put on hold. I wanted to create a ritual space for people to process their grief, feelings of being stuck and lack of transition. To me, mikvah is a Jewish technology, which means it is an ancient tradition that is relevant to our context today and provides us with a useful blueprint for how to navigate our world. Mikvah can help us to create a forced transition in the absence of one, where we ask ourselves questions about where we have come from, where we are going and who we want to be when we get there.

The second reason I wanted to write this guide and title it Rebirthing Ourselves to Rebuild Our World is because we are collectively living in a moment of reckoning, where violent systems are being exposed and revolutionary change feels possible. I don’t want the world to “return to normal” after the pandemic has ended. I want us to create new systems, where our society is organized according to human value and dignity as opposed to being centred around capital. I wanted a forum to ask together: what work do we need to do internally to prepare ourselves to fight for the new world to come?

JI: Can you share a bit about your background, as it is relevant to your being able to write the guide and to guide others in the process?

MS: I had never guided a mikvah before this year but I am often engaged in thinking and learning about Jewish rituals, as I feel they keep me grounded and connect me to my history and ancestors. I was a Hebrew school teacher for quite a few years and grew up going to Camp Miriam, which led me down a path of working for Habonim Dror in a number of different capacities over the years. Through coordinating educational activities and building curricula, I saw firsthand the ways that Jewish ritual was a hugely helpful tool for young folks in guiding them to work towards social justice and liberation. Mikvah stood out to me as something that I wanted to learn more about, and the more I learned the different ways mikvah is being reclaimed and repurposed, the more I wanted to be a part of the movement of people doing so.

JI: How long have you practised the ritual? In what circumstances were you introduced to it?

MS: A couple of years ago, while working for Habonim Dror in New York City, my team and I went through a tough time. We were all feeling the weight of leading a Jewish organization through some very complicated situations and, ultimately, were feeling collectively burnt out. We drove to upstate New York and one of our team members led a beautiful mikvah for us. That experience helped me to understand the myriad ways that Jewish ritual can be repurposed to fit our daily needs and struggles. It was my first mikvah and it successfully allowed us to let go of experiences that had been weighing heavily on us.

I always thought mikvah was something that was reserved for Orthodox women and that it was to be strictly used for niddah, weddings or conversion. Experiencing a mikvah that was being led for me outside of these confines really opened my eyes to the ways that mikvah could be used as a modern technology, as opposed to an unchanging tradition.

JI: What are some of the benefits you’ve personally gained from participating in a mikvah? Do you do it regularly?

MS: Throughout the end of summer into fall, in preparation for the Jewish New Year, I was leading mikvah about once a week. I felt strongly that I didn’t want to be paid for this work, as I am one of the few people among my peers who has a steady job and income right now. That being said, I benefited greatly in other ways from leading this ritual for folks. It allowed me to meet amazing people who are also passionate about their Judaism or Jewishly curious folks who wanted to learn more. It allowed me to build community, the kind of Jewish community that I want to exist in Vancouver, centred around young Jews passionate about social justice. It allowed me space to continually ask myself how I want to be reborn and who I want to be, as I facilitated others asking themselves these questions.

I also led a couple special mikva’ot that included Indigenous folks, who brought and shared their own ceremonies and teachings around water and cleansing. I learned a lot from those individuals and am thankful for spaces where we can come together and share traditions and teachings with one another.

Lastly, leading all of these mikva’ot meant that I got to go swimming more often!

JI: There are three kosher (indoor) mikva’ot in Metro Vancouver, I think. It’s easier to see, perhaps, how a religious person would find meaning in the ritual. In what ways do you see the experience being meaningful for less religious women?

MS: Before every mikvah we would sit down and participate in a circle. Together, we would do some learning around mikvah, its ancient uses and how it is being reclaimed today. We would share and reflect together what purpose we wanted the mikvah to serve each one of us personally. We asked ourselves the question: what am I trying to work through that today’s ritual could help me with?

I found that, when the ritual becomes personalized and the individual chooses exactly how they want mikvah to be used, it is more likely to have a positive and lasting effect. Ultimately, mikvah gave people the opportunity to meet and connect with other like-minded people safely, so, if anything, it can just be an opportunity to do some learning, then have fun and go swimming with new friends.

JI: In what ways is your approach feminist, or different from more traditional approaches?

MS: I think the way I approach mikvah (and all Jewish ritual) is that traditions have to change and work for us in our contemporary context. It doesn’t make sense to practise Judaism in exactly the same ways that our ancestors did 2,000 years ago because our reality and our society does not look the same. I want my ancestors to recognize the rituals I am doing, but I also want to make sure that the rituals serve a function for me and the people around me, and that may mean expanding what they look like and who can participate. Jewish people continue to change and evolve, so I want our rituals and practices adapt and reflect that. I want to cultivate a living and ever-changing tradition.

JI: As winter approaches, how do you see your guiding working?

MS: I would be excited to lead a polar mikvah or two but my guess is that most likely folks will want to participate in the ritual when things warm up a little bit come spring.

JI: If there is anything else you’d like to add, please do.

MS: I was super-excited to see the guide being picked up and used across North America. There were people writing to me that I had never met, saying that they used the guide and found the ritual to be extremely meaningful.

I wrote the guide to be general enough so that Jews of any gender/race/sexuality in any location could use it to lead themselves through the ritual. I found the positive responses overwhelming and they helped me to feel connected to Jewry outside of Vancouver, who were going through many of the same hardships we were also experiencing. In writing the guide, I wanted to position myself in community with a wider movement of young Jews, demonstrating how Jewish ritual can be expanded to work for us and provide deep meaning throughout our lives.

Providing comfort and hope

Shiva Delivers organizers Madison Slobin, left, and Becca Schwenk. (photo from Shiva Delivers)

When 25-year-old Vancouverite Becca Schwenk considered how she could make a small impact to reflect Jewish compassion, care and kindness for local Black families during the Black Lives Matter protests, the Jewish ritual of shivah came to mind. She knew the power of shivah meals to soothe people in times of grief, so she and her longtime friend Madison Slobin, 26, decided to coordinate Shiva Delivers, a collective effort whereby Jews would cook a dinner meal for a Black household in Vancouver.

“We hoped it would lighten their load and bring a bit of joy,” Schwenk said. In emails, Facebook and Instagram posts sent to members of the Jewish community, the pair noted that “this past week has been one of grieving for Black folks. Not only have Black lives been disproportionately impacted and lost due to COVID-19, but we have witnessed police officers murder Black people in broad daylight, as well as in their own homes. As Jews, we know what it feels like to experience a collective tragedy, especially in the past two years, as antisemitic violence has been on the rise. We also know how much it has meant to us when other communities have demonstrated their solidarity.”

They encouraged volunteers to “cook with your loved ones, and have critical conversations about unlearning anti-Blackness and racism. It’s a beautiful thing when we can hold one another accountable, free of judgment, and keep our hands busy in some challah dough,” they wrote.

Their message spread quickly through social media and, within 24 hours, they had volunteers signing up to cook meals. Ultimately, they received 90 meals that they were able to deliver to 48 Black families in the Lower Mainland, from Surrey to East Vancouver and the University of British Columbia.

“People made beautiful, multiple course dinners including salmon with dessert, brisket and matzah ball soup, roast chicken with vegetables and delicious cakes,” Schwenk said. “It was really clear that considerable effort went into each dish and we felt really proud to drop these meals off.”

Those preparing the meals represented the diversity of the Vancouver Jewish community and deliveries came from Orthodox Jews, mixed families, rabbis and people from all political spectrums.

“We didn’t explain much about our initiative when we sent out the notification, but people just got it,” Slobin said. “We were unified by the instinct to do tzedakah through our collective love language of delicious food. I found it beautiful that our community is so united about the idea that Black lives matter, and that they really wanted to provide comfort to Black families during this time.”

The two friends are both professionally involved in human rights work. Slobin works for Vancouver Aboriginal Child and Family Services, while Schwenk is a diversity and inclusion consultant for Cicely Blain Consulting. Even though they’re not planning to organize a second Shiva Delivers event immediately, they hope it will inspire members of the Jewish community to do more.

“This was a way for us as a community to say, ‘We know how valuable comfort and nourishment are in moments like these, and we’ve got your back,’” Slobin said. “I want to see how folks draw inspiration from this and tap into the potential for solidarity beyond the Jewish community.” She noted that other Shiva Delivers initiatives were held in other parts of Canada and in the United States.

Feedback from recipients of the meals was overwhelmingly positive and grateful. “Thank you so much for doing this,” one recipient wrote. “We are grieving such a tremendous loss of life in the middle of this pandemic, where we are isolated from our wider community and loved ones. This helps a lot.” Another recipient said the display of kindness and generosity towards the Black community at this time was especially meaningful: “It means so much to be seen in our grief, and held and cared for in this way. Such community-to-community support is so deeply valuable and I truly believe it is our way forward into a collectively liberated world. Thank you for looking out for us and sending us love in my personal favourite love language – good food!”

Reflecting on the power of their event, Schwenk and Slobin said it provided “a glimpse into a hopeful future of what solidarity can look like. It allowed us to imagine a world where traditions are not only respected, but provide cross-cultural comfort.”

Lauren Kramer, an award-winning writer and editor, lives in Richmond. To read her work online, visit laurenkramer.net.

Modern matchmakers

YVR Yenta is the brainchild of Madison Slobin, left, Ben Eizenberg and Ariel Martz-Oberlander. Adapting to the realities of dating during the coronavirus crisis, they have introduced the online meetup Love in the Time of Covid: Virtual Single Mingle. This photo was taken before physical distancing was required. (photo by Madison Slobin)

Three young Jewish Vancouverites have set up a collective to help their friends – and their friends’ friends – find a romantic match “using old traditions to find modern love.”

YVR Yenta is the brainchild of Madison Slobin, Ben Eizenberg and Ariel Martz-Oberlander. The three believe that their old country methods, with the application of 21st-century technology, can procure a better match than any computer algorithm. Describing meaningful connections as “the antidote to capitalist alienation,” the matchmakers see a need to fill in a city where “finding the perfect view is easy, but finding someone to share it with can be challenging,” according to their introductory material.

The matchmaking collective was just getting up and running when the coronavirus crisis hit, but that hasn’t set them back. They resorted to technology to organize Love in the Time of Covid: Virtual Single Mingle, where anyone is welcome to join an online group chat, then tell the yentas of anyone they might like to be introduced to for virtual (and, perhaps later, in-person) meetups.

The idea of incorporating old world matchmaking practices with 21st-century singles is a growing trend.

“I would love to claim it as an original idea but, honestly, I spent the last three-and-a-half years on the East Coast, living in New York City, so I have been quite connected to young Jewish community there,” said Slobin. “It was something that I kind of knew was happening in different places on the East Coast. I heard that there was one happening in Minneapolis and it seemed to me like a new trend that was popping up, which is young, secular matchmaker collectives.”

In an age when Jdate and other online dating apps are a swipe away, why the need for the personal intervention?

For a certain segment of young people, Slobin said, Jdate isn’t cool. The other reality is that apps tend to be based on looks or instant attraction.

“I think a lot of people go on dates based on that and then don’t find success because they may not share anything other than that mutual attraction and so this is an opportunity to go a little bit deeper,” she said.

YVR Yenta invites clients – it’s all free and there’s no profit motive – to complete a comprehensive questionnaire about their religious affiliation and how important that is, whether they want a match of their own religious tradition, their political views, preferences, interests and a host of other attributes.

“We accept anyone into our dating pool who belongs to any religion, any race, any sexuality, any gender,” she said.

As clientele numbers increase, the yentas write to potential matches, “so will the quality of our matchmaking, seeing as we will have more match options to choose from! Please help us spread the word to your friends and family, either through word of mouth (as was done in the old country) or by sharing our Instagram page (as is done in the 21st century).” They are on Instagram at yvr.yenta.

“This is something that I would want for myself,” Slobin added. “I think it’s a very cool idea and I wanted to make it happen for all the people around me because I feel like I know so many amazing people who are looking for partners. So we decided to volunteer our time to make it happen. Really, it’s quite fun, so it doesn’t feel like work.”