Shelley Karrel

Ways to overcome negativity

In times of rising antisemitism and violence, fear is valid. When the world feels like it’s unraveling, anchoring yourself in a deeper sense of purpose can be healing. (screenshot)

Fear is not a weakness. It’s a deeply human response to a real or perceived threat. In times of rising antisemitism and violence, fear is valid. But we must not let it be the only voice in the room.

By acknowledging the fear – whether of violence, isolation or helplessness – we reduce its power. At the same time, we also make space for other emotions, such as courage, care and resilience, to emerge.

There are many things we can do to help us overcome the foreboding atmosphere of negativity and fear that is knocking at our door. Focusing on what we can do, gives us a sense of agency when we might otherwise feel helpless and alone.

There is the physical aspect of fear. It is important to be aware of what is happening as you notice you are feeling anxious, by staying present and being grounded. The brain often races into the future during fear: What if this happens to my community? My family? Me? This kind of “catastrophic thinking” pulls us out of the moment and floods our bodies with stress hormones.

It is important to know how to manage physical symptoms as they come up. Have you ever practised mindful breathing or meditation? Going to the beach and being aware of the beauty of our surroundings is a way to relax the constant noise that comes with stressful thinking. It is important to stay informed, but we often tend to keep scrolling for more information when there might not be anything else available. Learn how to say “dayeinu,” it is enough for today.

Build connection, not isolation

Fear thrives in silence. One of the most powerful antidotes to fear is community; connecting with people who understand your pain and can help hold it with you. It is important to build community to fight isolation. Ask yourself:

• Who in my life can I be vulnerable with?

• Is there a synagogue, support group or mental health resource I can lean on?

• Can I be that presence for someone else?

There is strength in the simple act of saying, “You’re not alone.” It may be that your reaching out to ask for help will in fact help someone else.

Not everyone will be on the front lines of activism – and that’s OK. But each of us has a role to play in healing the world, even in small ways:

• Check in on someone who may be afraid or isolated.

• Wear your Jewish identity with pride – a Magen David, a kippah – if it feels right to you.

• Educate others, kindly and clearly, when misinformation spreads.

• Support Jewish organizations and security efforts.

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, it whispers, “I will keep showing up.”

When the world feels like it’s unraveling, anchoring yourself in a deeper sense of purpose can be healing. Ask yourself where you can make an impact. Do you have a particular skill that may make a difference to individuals or an organization? Judaism has a rich tradition of resilience, moral clarity and hope. Pirkei Avot 2:5 reminds us that, “In a place where there are no leaders, strive to be that leader.” In other words, act with integrity, even when others do not. This is real courage and takes strength and commitment.

Judaism teaches us to choose hope

Our tradition teaches us to choose hope, again and again. Hope isn’t naïve. It’s an act of spiritual resistance. It’s choosing to believe, even with trembling hands, that goodness still exists and that we are its agents. When you are with friends and family, celebrate moments of kindness. Remind one another of stories, not only of loss, but of survival and joy.

Living Jewishly, publicly and proudly, in today’s world takes immense strength. You are not alone in your fear – nor in your resolve. Fear may visit, but it doesn’t get to move in and take over. Our world needs as many of us to be positive ambassadors as we need those fighting antisemitism on the front lines. As Mahatma Gandhi once expressed it, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Shelley Karrel is a registered clinical counsellor in Vancouver; you can reach her at karrelcounselling.com.

Value of community

When we hear about addiction and recovery, most of us might think of the incredibly difficult journey to achieve and then sustain sobriety. For certain, this is one reality.

That said, it’s one thing to refrain from using, and quite another to rebuild one’s life. One of Jewish Addiction Community Services’ clients told us that, although they have been in recovery for three years, they felt that their life had little meaning. Working together, we uncovered the “missing link”: their prior lifestyle had damaged, and in some cases severed, many of their connections to family and community. More importantly, that insight led to building some practical plans for reconnecting. They now report that they feel like they have turned the corner – rediscovering motivation for work, life, and being an active member of our community.

Another client, who had been using drugs for over 25 years, is now seven months sober. They recognize that Judaism’s role in their early life was important, and reconnecting to some aspect of that former life is comforting and familiar. This client attended a seder for the first time in many years and looks forward to the High Holidays.

It is no secret that community plays a crucial role in sustained recovery. The harder part is to operationalize the insight. Our role at JACS is to meet people where they are, help them find treatment, if needed, work with them to rebuild their lives, and be a link to the greater Jewish community. At the very practical level, we have helped clients connect with Tikva Housing, access the Jewish Food Bank and get financial help from Hebrew Free Loan Association. As well, working with rabbis and other agencies, we are helping individuals find ways to reconnect with a Jewish social network, support systems and the community at large.

JACS is proud that we are here to help our community. It is gratifying to know that, through education, counseling and connection, we are making a difference for those who need to know they have value and do indeed belong.

For more information about what we do, visit jacsvancouver.com.

Shelley Karrel is manager of counseling and community education at JACS Vancouver. She can be reached at [email protected].

Judaism and addiction

When we think of Pesach, the theme that emerges is: “We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.” As slaves, we endured years of torture and hardship, with no choice but to obey the edicts of the Pharaoh. In essence, we were powerless. Those addicted to either drugs, alcohol or a behaviour (think gaming, gambling) are slaves as well. They are chained to a disease that has control over their lives – their brain has been kidnapped into thinking “this is what I need to live, to survive.” They no longer have freedom. Often, the notion that they can break free is beyond what they can envision.

When the Jews left Egypt, their days in the desert were a struggle. Some wondered why they left what they knew for the unknown. Yet, here they were. With manna for food, a cloud for protection, they wandered for 40 years: a long, hard journey to learn how to live with their new-found freedom.

When someone initially breaks the chains of addiction, the struggles they face are no less daunting. There is fear, a sense of loss; a feeling of, will this work? Can I be successful? Will I be better off? In essence, they can feel like they are in a desert.

To assist individuals in the precarious time of new-found freedom, JACS Vancouver has launched the Sustaining Recovery program: a wrap-around service that supports clients with individual counseling, assessment and program planning.

Working with our client, we together build and implement a personalized set of supports and tools that focus on where they are in their journey, and what specific supports they need. When the opportunity arises, we help them focus on identifying the forces, triggers and/or messages that are beneath the surface of their addiction. They learn how to make different choices, where to go for help and how to recognize that life is better, health is possible.

The path to freedom, as our ancestors found out, was not easy – nor is it for those wanting to sustain recovery from addiction. With personal willingness and commitment, and solid and constant support, success and a purposeful life is within reach.

Shelley Karrel is a registered clinical counselor, and is manager of counseling and community education at JACS Vancouver. For more information about JACS, contact [email protected].

Drugs and teens

When we hear the word addiction, it often conjures up negative images or stereotypes. We might think someone has made poor choices, is down and out, or weak-willed; we might think that it’s a problem confined to the Downtown Eastside. Rarely do we think of the word disease or think of addiction as a mental health issue.

Jewish Addiction Community Services (JACS) is committed to providing opportunities for the community to learn together and, on April 4, JACS and the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver youth department are presenting a community forum called The Fentanyl Crisis: How It Affects Our Teens. This free event, geared to parents, teens and youth workers, is designed to help build awareness of illicit drugs, specifically fentanyl, and to teach how these drugs affect the teenage brain, and how to talk to teens about drugs.

According to a B.C. Coroners Services report, which was published last month, 86% of fatal illicit drug overdoses in 2018 occurred inside (i.e. not on the street) – 58% in private residences. The majority of these deaths were men between the ages of 19 and 59.

While the problem of addiction in British Columbia is well known, what is less well known or acknowledged is how our Jewish community is affected. In fact, denial that the problem exists is more the reality. Rabbi Shais Taub, a specialist in addiction and spirituality, who visited Metro Vancouver in 2012, said one in 10 people are touched by addiction – whether directly or through a close family member. It makes sense that those statistics are similar in our community.

Compare the reaction of when you hear about a friend who has recently been diagnosed with cancer, or another debilitating disease. While we may not know how to help, when a loved one is affected with a life-altering illness, we are usually motivated to offer assistance, whether it is making meals, visiting or giving money to a cause. In sharp contrast, addiction tends to push us away and we tend to blame the person who has a substance use disorder, instead of wanting to rally around and help them.

Why does a family feel shame and the need to shield others from knowing their loved one is affected by the disease of addiction? Why does the person themselves feel the need to hide? Clearly, the answers are complex. In a recent visit to an emergency department, a patient pleaded with a nurse that “no one in my community must know I am here.” That person was a member of our Jewish community. Not only are people struggling with an illness, but they often can’t reach out for help or don’t know where to turn.

We must and can work to reduce the stigma of addiction so that both families and people with addiction are supported. It begins with awareness of resources and education, with fostering a culture of being less judgmental, of being curious and open, and being willing to talk about how someone may have found themselves suffering from addiction. We also need to remind ourselves of the Jewish values of teshuvah (repentance), tikkun olam (repair of the world), community and chesed (loving kindness). People knowing that there are resources available, when they are ready, is key to recovery.

The April 4 community forum includes panelists Dr. Alana Hirsh, a physician working in the Downtown Eastside; Lee Gangbar, a registered nurse who works both at St. Paul’s Hospital’s emergency department and as an outreach healthcare nurse; and Anne Andrew, a parenting coach and author. To attend the forum, RSVP at eventbrite.ca (Fentanyl Crisis). For more information on the program or JACS, email [email protected].

Shelley Karrel is the manager of counseling and community education with JACS. She has her master’s in clinical counseling, is a registered clinical counselor and also has a private counseling practice. She can be reached at [email protected].

Mezuzah hanging at Diamond Residences

Gordon Diamond hangs the mezuzah at the opening of the Diamond Residences on Oct. 17, as Rabbi Levi Varnai looks on. (photo by Shelley Karrel)

At the ceremony, donors were thanked, residents welcomed and mezuzot put up; present were members of the Diamond family and representatives of Jewish Federation of Greater Vancouver, Jewish Family Service Agency, the Bayit, Kehila Society and Tikva Housing Society. The residences are part of the Storeys Complex in Richmond, and the official opening takes place Dec. 1.