Bittergirl is seriously funny

In Bittergirl, Cailin Stadnyk, Katrina Reynolds and Lauren Bowler play women who have just been dumped by their boyfriends – maybe they can get back their men if they lose some weight? (photo by Emily Cooper)

Have you ever taken part in an aerobics class and wondered how many of the women in it were trying to lose weight to get a boyfriend back? The sad truth is, there are probably many, eagerly trying anything to return to the way things were, even if the way things were wasn’t all that great.

Bittergirl: The Musical takes aim at countless breakup truisms from the perspectives of three different women, reminiscent of the sharp wit in Mom’s the Word and the relationship charades of Sex in the City. Their varied responses to being dumped are hilariously insightful.

The progress of the play loosely follows the five stages of death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The stages of the breakups are denial (he made a mistake), second-guessing (I could have done something differently), manipulation (I’m going to make him love me), reflection (I should have seen the warning signs) and acceptance (I’m over him, I’ve moved on).

The three women – played by Lauren Bowler, Katrina Reynolds and Cailin Stadnyk – are known only as A, B and C, as though these trials and tribulations are those that belong to every woman, not a specific person. Jewish community member Josh Epstein plays D, all three of the dumpers – the husband who wants to join the RCMP, the live-in partner who just “has to go” and the boyfriend who’s lost his “magic.”

Epstein delivers the stereotypical reasons why he needs to get out of each relationship: “I feel trapped,” “I can’t give you what you want” and the ridiculous “We’ve got to be birds flying higher.”

The lame rationales elicit howls of laughter at the familiarity, especially when one of the women initially thinks that the “talk” her boyfriend wants to have will lead to a proposal.

Not surprisingly, the women stand there, stunned into silence, not demanding further explanation, but meekly mumbling things like, “I understand,” even though they don’t – another conventional reaction it is sadly not surprising to see depicted.

After their men leave, the women think about what they might have done differently to save their relationships – “Maybe if I wore plum eyeshadow,” “Maybe if I didn’t talk to my mother so much” and “Maybe if I worked out more.” This last statement segues into an hysterical scene of the three women working out with various gizmos and in different types of classes in a desperate bid to get in shape and win back their men.

photo - Katrina Reynolds and Josh Epstein in Bittergirl, at the Arts Club Granville Island Stage until July 29
Katrina Reynolds and Josh Epstein in Bittergirl, at the Arts Club Granville Island Stage until July 29. (photo by Emily Cooper)

The women also reflect on the warnings signs they missed. He wears socks with sandals. He cries at Celine Dion songs. He growls during sex.

Especially comical is a scene where the women run into friends and they are forced to admit they were dumped. The standard, “You’re better off without him” or “If you guys couldn’t make it work, what chance do the rest of us have?” hit the mark on how insensitive people can be, much to the enjoyment of the audience. The rapid-fire delivery of the lines, the women playing off each other brilliantly, is a sight to see and hear.

As the musical progresses, classic girl-group songs of the 1960s and ’70s complement the dialogue. Thinking about their first dates leads into “And Then He Kissed Me.” The initial breakups prompt a rendition of “Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This.” When the women hope they’ll have a chance to renew the relationship, they sing “When Will I See You Again?” And who hasn’t felt the difficulty of moving on because there’s “Always Something There to Remind Me”?

The strength of the play is in how the writing spotlights those moments we all know so well and that sound so absurd when depicted one after the other. Being reminded of one’s own failed relationships, watching the play is like watching a good comedian – often funny and, despite being cringeworthy at times, you want to stay to the finale.

As with the different stages of death, the women finally accept their situations and move on with their lives, singing such lyrics as “you don’t really love me; you just keep me hanging on,” there are “too many fish in the sea” and “I will survive.”

Bittergirl is actually an autobiographical play written by three Toronto actresses who had, indeed, just gotten dumped by a husband, live-in boyfriend and short-term partner. The positive reaction to the play led to the 2005 book Bittergirl: Getting Over Getting Dumped. After that, the writers added the songs, accompanied by an all-female band onstage, and the musical was born.

Besides the sharp, insightful writing, these women (and Epstein) can all belt out a tune, making the performance a hit from the beginning to the (not so) bitter end.

Bittergirl runs at the Arts Club Granville Island Stage until July 29. For tickets and more information, visit artsclub.com.

Baila Lazarus is Vancouver-based writer and principal media strategist at phase2coaching.com.

Marketing of technology

Yonatan Avraham, student ambassador of HUstart, left, and Tamir Huberman of Yissum are two of the four speakers who will be participating in Jerusalem of Gold: Capital of Innovation & Tech on July 16. (photos from CFHU Vancouver)

“I have always loved the thrill you feel while creating your own project, seeing it grow and being responsible for the outcomes – and the satisfaction you feel while convincing a stranger to give his or her resources (time or money) for your product,” said Yonatan Avraham, student ambassador of HUstart, Hebrew University of Jerusalem’s entrepreneurship centre, about what excites him about being an innovator and entrepreneur.

Avraham is one of four speakers who will participate in Jerusalem of Gold: Capital of Innovation & Tech, which will take place on July 16 at the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver. The event is being hosted by Canadian Friends of the Hebrew University, the Jerusalem Foundation and JCCGV. Avraham will be joined by Lior Schillat of Jerusalem Institute for Policy Research; Maya Halevy of Bloomfield Science Museum Jerusalem; and Tamir Huberman of Yissum, HU’s technology transfer company. The Jewish Independent’s interviews with Schillat and Halevy appeared in last week’s issue (see jewishindependent.ca/jerusalem-a-high-tech-hub).

“All of the speakers are coming from Israel especially for this tour in Western Canada. We will be in Vancouver on July 16, Calgary on July 17 and Edmonton on July 18,” said Dina Wachtel, Western region executive director of CFHU, of the tour, which celebrates the 50th anniversary of the reunification of Jerusalem.

“Tamir is going to give a talk on Friday, July 14, at Simon Fraser University titled The Power of Social Networks: Boosting the Marketing of Innovations, organized by Fred Popowich, executive director of Big Data Initiative at Simon Fraser University,” she said. “Part of our mandate is to create these living bridges between Hebrew U and our local universities; hence, this is part of this initiative.”

Huberman is Yissum’s vice-president of business development and director of information technology. At the JCCGV, he will talk on Marketing Innovation: Changing Israel and the World.

In the press material, Huberman notes, “As the only university in Israel with a school of agriculture, research in non-GMO hybrid seeds at Hebrew U is changing the way millions of people eat now and into the future.” He also notes that Mobileye, which recently sold to Intel for $15.3 billion US, was founded by HU Prof. Amnon Shashua.

Yissum “operates on a royalty-based model which channels proceeds from successful products back to the researchers, their labs and the university itself,” he explains. It also generates funds “by attracting corporations to collaborate with Hebrew University labs to find the answers the businesses are seeking.”

About what B.C. (and other) universities could learn from HU, Huberman told the Independent, “I believe that the top lessons are how to be more effective and how to remove barriers for doing business. In most cases, tech transfer companies around the world are [viewed] as a bureaucratic entity that complicates things. The greatest lesson is making adaptations that would make things simpler for the companies that want to do business with us…. The second lesson is the realization that, for each new technology, there either has to be someone in the world that would be interested in acquiring a licence, or someone in the world that knows the technology does not have a chance. It is the ‘job’ of the tech transfer to find that ‘someone’ and, from my experience, the best way to do that is by using social networks. The revolution of social media allows getting fast replies from people all around the world, even if you’ve never met them.”

Huberman has always loved innovation and, he said, “it was a big dream of mine to be an inventor and work with new inventions.”

While working for the company Medis from 1996 to 2002, he was exposed to the world of patents and the process of writing patents as an inventor. “After my own experience as an inventor,” he said, “I knew I had to find a place that works with new patents at a massive scale.”

It was his “strong passion for new patents and ideas that was the top reason for joining Yissum,” he said. “Second was the opportunity to work with some of the most brilliant researchers in their fields. Third was my realization that there was something missing at the time before I joined Yissum, which had to do with the very low use of the internet in order to expose the technologies from the universities to the world.

“Before I arrived at Yissum, I made a simple search using freely available patent databases and saw that only a small fraction of the patents I found [were] on the tech transfer websites. When I realized this, I had a vision of changing how tech transfer companies worked…. My dream materialized when I created the first portal for all the technologies at Yissum and later created the ITTN website (Israel Technology Transfer Organization). ITTN was the first website in Israel that allowed all of the inventions from academic institutions in Israel to be found in one central portal.”

He added, “I believe that there is a lot that can be done to make a better and faster connection between companies seeking talent or innovation to the offerings of universities…. [B]uilding a portal that connects more universities in Israel and the world could help make that matching much more efficient.

“Another realization is that tech transfer companies traditionally showcase technologies and I believe that this is not the best approach…. [T]he portals should focus on the researchers and their capabilities, rather than just the patents that a small portion of them invented. We have multiple examples of companies that were interested in researchers that we did not even know [because] they never had any patents.”

One of the jobs of HUstart – of which Yissum is part, along with HU’s science faculty and business school – is to provide “practical education, support, mentorships and connections needed” for students and others “to become effective entrepreneurs.”

Avraham is a third-year physics student at Hebrew U and is in the first cohort of the new Physics and Entrepreneurship program, which connected him – during his second year of study – with his business partners. Avraham and fellow students Michael Levinson and Tom Zelanzy co-founded the start-up Gamitee, which “links social media and shopping websites, making it possible for friends to easily invite others to join them in a shopping experience.”

Avraham has other ideas, such as one for an “infant sleeper that monitors a baby’s vital signs, a technology that could potentially prevent SIDS.” And he and his wife – who is an archeologist – also run a tutoring business. In Vancouver, he will speak on The Making of a Serial Entrepreneur.

“I think they have a lot of similarities,” he said about physics and building a tech start-up. “In both, you need to solve complex questions and problems that are comprised of several independent factors. Both of them are professions that people rarely choose. And they are both very, very hard to understand. I think my physics background [increased] my range of abilities needed [to be] an entrepreneur.”

Jerusalem of Gold: Capital of Innovation & Tech is open to the public. Tickets are $45, though students who register at the CFHU office can receive a free ticket. For tickets and the speakers’ bios, visit cfhu.org, email vanc@cfhu.org or call 604-257-5133.

An out-of-hand hobby

Si Kahn plays at the folk festival, which runs July 13-16. (photo from sikahn.com)

While Charlotte, N.C.-based folk musician Si Kahn – who’s coming to play at the Vancouver Folk Music Festival next week – may have called the United States home for most of his 73 years, he spent about 12 of his first 16 months of life in Canada. His father, Rabbi Benjamin Kahn, was sent to Montreal by B’nai B’rith in 1944 to help set up the Hillel Foundation at McGill University, which he did for just over a year before being called back to Pennsylvania State University.

“I like to say that I don’t have a single negative memory of my time in Montreal,” said Kahn, whose father eventually became the international director of B’nai B’rith Hillel Foundation (1959-1971).

And Kahn’s Canada cred goes back further.

“After my paternal grandfather, Gabriel Kahn, deserted the czar’s army and walked across Europe, he was a pick-and-shovel labourer for the Canadian Pacific Railway, helping build the ‘northern spur’ through the [Canadian] Shield towards Timmins,” Kahn told the Independent. “He was also a hod carrier in Winnipeg, helping build the Royal Alexandra Hotel, carrying 100 pounds of bricks or mortar up 10 or more storeys on his shoulders.”

Kahn tells his grandfather’s story – and that of many other members of his family – in the musical Hope. The song “Crossing the Border” highlights the border-crossings of his grandfather’s journey from Russia: “He got passage to Nova Scotia / Got married in Manitoba … Then he moved down south of the border / By the mills on the Merrimack River / He pumped gas and kept store for a living / Raised up his daughter and sons.”

Gabriel and his wife, Celia, settled in Lowell, Mass., said Kahn, who wrote about his Jewish roots and their influence on his music in an article called “The Chords that Bind.”

“When I was growing up … our family sang together,” he writes. “On the Sabbath and on holidays, we would stay at the dinner table long after the food and dishes had been cleared, and we would sing. Because musical instruments were not allowed on the Sabbath, we sang without instrumentation – but not without accompaniment.”

From his paternal grandfather, he learned “the fine points of creating a rhythm section, using only two basic variations (closed fist and open palm) of the basic hand-on-table technique.” From his parents, he and his sister, Jenette – whose career in the comic book industry included being president of DC Comics for more than 20 years – learned “the rudiments of high and low harmony, made up as you go along.”

The songs they sang were mostly prayers. “We sang a little bit in Yiddish, too, folk and story songs from the Old Country, which in this case meant almost any place in Europe,” he notes. And, despite his not understanding most of what he was singing, he did understand “what the songs really meant to us as Jews, as a family, as people in the world. They were our bond, our unity, our affirmation, our courage. They were our way of claiming our rhythmic and harmonic relation with each other and with our community. Our songs reinforced our solidarity, our sense that we could overcome the obstacles in our path.”

As for when his musical career began, Kahn told the Independent, “You might say I ‘turned professional’ in 1974. I had just turned 30 years old a few months before I recorded my first album, an LP titled New Wood, which was released in 1975 on June Appal Records.

“One of my first paid public performances was in 1979 … at the second-ever Vancouver Folk Music Festival. I’d led traditional labour and civil rights songs at rallies and demonstrations and on picket lines, but Vancouver was one of the first times I played my own original songs in public.

“While I do consider myself a professional musician, and while I’m a longtime member of the American Federation of Musicians (AFM), music has always been a very part-time vocation for me. My lifetime identity and work since I was 21 years old has been as a civil rights, labour and community organizer.

“I once told a reporter that my music is ‘a hobby that got out of hand.’ That’s really an accurate description. I typically do no more than three festivals and a dozen concerts each year at most. Most of my appearances are benefits for progressive nonprofits,” he said, adding that he’d be performing at the Vancouver Folk Music Festival house-party fundraiser on July 12.

Kahn heads to Orillia, Ont., for a July 7 performance at the Mariposa Folk Festival. From there, he’ll come to Vancouver for the folk festival, but also “to do some organizing work for Musicians United to Protect Bristol Bay.” It’s a cause he’s been helping on a volunteer basis since 2010 – the campaign’s goal is “to stop the Pebble Mine, and to protect permanently Alaska’s Bristol Bay, a cultural and environmental treasure, and one of the world’s last remaining great wild salmon fisheries.” He has donated all of the income from his 18th CD, called Bristol Bay, to the musicians’ group.

About combining music with activism, Kahn said, “The defining moment for me came when I was working with the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) on the Arkansas side of the Mississippi River Delta in the summer of 1965, when I was 21 years old, during the Southern Civil Rights Movement, which was very much a singing movement. That was when I first began to understand the usefulness of music in movements for social justice.”

Among Kahn’s many achievements in the social justice arena was being, in the early 1980s, an initial organizer and the founding national board chair for the Jewish Fund for Justice, the predecessor to Bend the Arc: A Jewish Partnership for Justice. He has written three books on community organizing.

“I see myself as an organizer, which I consider a specific type of activism, rather than as an activist,” he explained. “Organizers work to bring people together so that they can use the power of numbers to counter the power of money, authority and/or force.

“In any organizing campaign, in any campaign for justice, there will be competing sets of ‘facts.’ Whether our facts are more accurate/truthful than their facts isn’t nearly as important as whether, through organizing, we can build enough collective power to persuade those who have the ability to make the change, or changes, we’re asking for to meet our demands.”

On the topic of truth, Kahn said, “For me, there’s a difference between accuracy and truthfulness. Take, for example, the story of Moses receiving the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai. Is that story accurate in the literal sense? But it should be told and retold truthfully, meaning that it’s our responsibility to transmit the story as it was told to us, whether verbally or in written form.

“My question is whether, in the real world, it’s even possible to differentiate,” he said. “If someone believes something passionately, it’s more than likely that no amount of either ‘facts’ or ‘alternative facts’ is going to persuade them to change their mind.

“Minds are more likely to be changed by experience. One of an organizer’s roles is to help the people she/he is working with have experiences through which they achieve a sense of possibility, that the world might be different for them and for others like them.

“This is also one of the places where storytelling can be useful. Years ago, I was in an audience listening to former U.S. senator Paul Simon. I don’t recall the specifics but, at one point, he was challenged on his support for legislation concerned with disability rights. He could have answered with facts/statistics (or, for that matter, with ‘alternative facts’). Instead, he said, ‘Let me tell you about a young man I know,’ and proceeded from there.”

In the musical Hope, there is a song called “Dreamers,” the chorus of which calls for us to “honour the dreamers.”

“I consider myself a ‘practical radical,’ someone who helps people work towards what at least appear – based on careful analysis and strategic thinking – to be achievable goals,” said Kahn. “If that’s being a dreamer, dayenu.

“There are many things I’d like to see in this world we share that I just don’t see as possible. I may be wrong in that judgment. But, if I’m going to help people organize themselves in order to achieve a goal they share, I need to believe there’s at least one and hopefully several practical paths to achieving that goal.

“The ‘dreamers’ I honour are those who not only have a dream, but who do everything they can to make it real.”

For the Vancouver Folk Music Festival’s 25th anniversary, Kahn wrote the song “For Canada,” which recalls the Underground Railway, the slaves making their dangerous way here: “When all hope was failing, think what strength it gave / To dream about a country that no longer held a slave….” A country to which, “… my own father’s father came with willing hands / To bend his back and lay the track across this wild land….”

And it was on his way home (by car) from his 1979 festival appearance that Kahn wrote “Plains of Canada,” the lyrics of which show his affection for the country – an affection that endures.

And so, too, does his love of singing and performing.

“Vancouver resident Josh Dunson, who was my agent for over 30 years until his retirement from the music business, once told me that what I bring to my musical performances is my many years’ experience as an organizer. That’s a very perceptive observation and a good description of what I try to do in the musical part of my life and work,” said Kahn. “When I’m planning a concert, when I’m on stage, I’m doing my best to help those who are listening feel that they’re not so much a passive audience but active participants. Sometimes this means singing along, sometimes it means thinking about what they’re hearing and applying it to their own lives and their own work. It’s that possibility that still excites me even after all these years.”

This year’s folk festival, once again at Jericho Beach, starts with a free concert the night of July 13, and then there are day and weekend passes that can be purchased for the performances July 14-16. For tickets and the full schedule, visit thefestival.bc.ca.

Express your opinion

The good news is we’re again debating “who is a Jew.” This is good news, of course, only because it’s a topic that divides Jews mostly when external threats abate enough to allow the luxury of pilpul around denominational rights and definitions.

We can only assume that the state of the world – the Iranian threat, the unhinged American administration, Syria in collapse – looks fine enough from the Israeli prime minister’s office that we have the freedom to indulge in family squabbles.

A year-and-a-half ago, the Israeli government finally agreed to create an egalitarian prayer space at the Western Wall. The Charedim who legally control Israel’s Jewish religious character, including practices at the Wall, have imposed a strict gender division on prayer and ritual at the holy site. This has sent the message to Conservative, Reform and other non-Orthodox Jews that the holy site is not wholly theirs and, by extension, that their forms of Judaism are not authentic or proper. The creation of an egalitarian section was hailed as putting an end to a painful and divisive aspect of Israeli-Diaspora relations.

An egalitarian space would permit families to visit the Kotel together, allow girls to read from the Torah during their bat mitzvahs and give women the right to pray out loud, rather than following the existing rules by which women must pray quietly so that their voices may not be heard by men on the other side of the divided plaza. The agreement for a new egalitarian space would not alter the existing men’s and women’s areas, but rather add a new, third space, south of the traditional prayer areas.

At the time the agreement was reached, Anat Hoffman, chair of the board of Women of the Wall, a group that has been at the fore in advancing the goal of an egalitarian space and whose members are routinely arrested for praying at the Kotel with prayer shawls, said the decision by Israel’s cabinet was an acknowledgment “that there is more than one way to be Jewish.”

Last week, the Netanyahu government changed its mind and decided there is not.

Bending to pressure from the ultra-Orthodox members of his coalition, the proverbial tail that so often wags the dog in Israel’s political system, Netanyahu called a snap vote on whether the decision taken in January 2016 to create the egalitarian space should indeed proceed. Ministers who last year voted in favour last week voted against.

In for a penny, in for a pound, the government at the same time advanced a bill that would reinstate the Orthodox monopoly on conversions and lifecycle events, including marriage and burials. Among the implications is that Jews not converted under the auspices of the Chief Rabbinate – in other words, by Conservative, Reform or other non-Orthodox rabbis – would not be recognized as Jews.

On most issues, Israel should take Diaspora concerns into consideration only secondarily to what is right for Israel. We have said in this space before, for instance, that Israeli defence policies should be determined with the security of Israelis as the priority, not the comfort of Diaspora Jews who have to live with the political consequences, but not the life-and-death consequences facing Israelis.

This is different. Rules regarding prayer at the Western Wall – who, where and how – should be made with the interests of the Jewish people – not just Israelis – foremost in mind. Of course, if the rules were made with the majority of Israelis in mind, they would reflect the diversity of religious observance both in Israel and in the Diaspora. Instead, what we have is a narrow reflection of ultra-Orthodox priorities that is more a result of political realities in the Knesset than religious reality anywhere outside that chamber.

Ultimately, these decisions are a result of political, not religious, considerations. The political needs of the Netanyahu government’s coalition appear to be superseding the Jewish state’s respect for diversity and pluralism within the global Jewish peoplehood.

“We believe in Jewish unity, not uniformity,” states a letter to Netanyahu signed by scores of Canadian rabbis. “The spectrum of Jewish practice is diverse, but it need not lead to divisiveness. Our differences are eclipsed by all that unites us: millennia of shared history and a shared future. What happens to Jews today – no matter where they live or where they attend synagogue – invariably affects us all.… We are an indivisible people, which is why we are deeply concerned by these and any other actions that unnecessarily foment division within amcha.”

Most of us do not have a vote in Israel, but each of us has a voice. The Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs is urging each of us to contact the Israeli embassy to express our views on this vital matter. Please do.

The two sides of surrogacy

Jennifer Clarke with three of her children. (photo from Jennifer Clarke)

By the time Cyrus and Pam Mizrahi met in the summer of 2015, Pam had already gone through menopause, yet they wanted to have kids. After getting married in December of that year, the couple decided to explore their options.

“We both wanted to have children and Pam was not in a condition to have babies, so it was adoption or a surrogating program,” said Cyrus.

They chose surrogacy, Cyrus explained, because with “surrogacy you have all sorts of options when it comes to having your own kids or children. Adoption is different. You take babies from another parent.”

The Mizrahis did some research and opted for an agency in their home city of Boston, called Circle Surrogacy, an established firm that connected them with a surrogate from the City of Surprise, Ariz. Though they would have loved to have found a Jewish surrogate, none was available at the time. They consulted their rabbi.

“We contacted the rabbi who officiated our wedding,” said Cyrus. “He approved it and said it was a great idea. He said that what is more important is how we bring up our babies – providing Jewish education and raising them Jewish, if we want them to maintain a Jewish identity. It’s certainly important, of high importance, to us.”

The next step was working with the laboratory to produce the embryos. The Mizrahis wanted a boy and a girl. Luckily, both embryos took, and the twins were born on May 17, 2016.

“The first thing we did when the babies were born was we had the bris for the boy, of course,” said Cyrus. “I’ve taken them to shul a number of times and I’ll continue doing that. We have a kosher kitchen at home. We’re not Orthodox, but we observe to some degree. We’re hoping to send them to Jewish school and provide them with a Hebrew education.”

He said, “We named them after my parents’ Hebrew names. Our son is named Sol for Solomon (but only Sol) and our daughter is named Alexa. Sol is after my father – we have the tradition that we can name him after someone who is alive – and his middle name is Michael, named after my wife’s uncle. Alexa is a Hebrew name, named after my mom.” (It is an Ashkenazi custom to not name a child after a living person.)

The connection with the surrogate was very positive and strong. She has come to visit the twins and new parents three times within the past year.

“She lives far away, but she comes from time to time to visit us,” said Cyrus. “We’re always welcoming and it’s fine with us. We want to keep her as a friend in the family.”

With Cyrus having many relatives in Israel, he is anxious to take his kids for a visit there – and he and Pam are planning to do so when the twins turn 4 or 5 years old. “I have many cousins, first and second cousins,” said Cyrus. “A whole tribe. They are all over Israel – Petah Tikva, Jerusalem, Kfar Saba, all over.”

As for the surrogate, her name is Jennifer Clarke. She teaches high school Spanish just outside Surprise, which is a suburb of Phoenix.

For Clarke, the idea of surrogacy arose a few years back when she saw an ad at her church posted by a couple who could not have their own children. They were seeking a surrogate, and Clarke thought to herself, “I can have babies so easily…. I have four. I’ve never had any problems or complications, and others can’t and really want kids. So, I thought I’d offer to do that if she’d cover the medical expenses…. I talked my then-husband into it – he did think I was crazy … but he was used to my crazy ideas and eventually was accepting of it. I approached the girl about it and they had just received confirmation of getting two children from Mexico, a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old, so they didn’t need a service like that any longer.”

But, as Clarke already had made up her mind to help, she began doing some research, looking for someone else she might be able to assist. Clarke found a few companies that provide surrogacy service and went through the extensive application process.

“They want to make sure you’re mentally stable and that you’re financially sound,” she said. “You can’t be doing this if you want money … they don’t offer very much. It’s mostly just expenses plus a bonus. You can’t be in it for the money.”

The application took about two hours to complete over the phone. The company also screens the surrogacy applicant’s friends and spouse (if there is one). Everyone gets at least one hour-long phone call, to try and ensure that the surrogate has a strong support system and that there will not be an issue with the spouse or anyone else close to the surrogate. If the applicant qualifies – including being given the green light by their doctor and obstetrician/gynecologist – a profile is created of her, which is shown to “intended parents” (IPs).

The company selects some potential surrogates who match what the IPs are seeking – including factors such as how much communication they want with the surrogate, what the surrogate’s habits are (for example, diet, activity level, etc.) – and shows their files to the potential parents. “They sort of match you like a dating service,” said Clarke. “It might take a couple of interviews to find someone who fully suits you, but then you get matched and start the process of hormone treatments, implantation and such.”

Having Our Baby: The Surrogacy Boom, a documentary by Vancouver filmmaker Nick Orchard, aired recently on the Documentary Channel in Canada. While there are some differences between Canada and the United States when it comes to surrogacy, it seems that both countries’ systems work to ensure that the surrogate is entering the arrangement with mainly altruistic rather than monetary aims.

According to Orchard, infertility is often a “disability, for lack of a better word,” that couples hide. Therefore, he said, “most people are unaware of how, for some couples, it’s a real problem – conceiving and having a child of their own. So, it’s a situation where couples and gay couples and, every now and again, some single people really want to have a child, but they can’t do it without help from someone else. That’s when they reach out.”

He said, “The surrogates are doing this because they very much want to help someone. What they are doing is incredibly selfless – to put their … in many cases … own lives on the line. There are dangers involved in having a baby and to do all of that, I find it quite incredible. That was one of the things that first drew me to the topic.”

Some of the costs involved in hiring a surrogate in Canada, according to Orchard, include $10,000 to an agency; $20,000 for a surrogate’s expenses; $30,000 in fees for the clinics doing the transfers, developing the embryos, and so on; and $30,000 in legal fees for agreements drawn up between the surrogate and the IPs, to reduce the risks of having a surrogate change her mind and keep the baby once the process is done.

“You have to really want to have a child and, of course, it’s never a sure thing either,” said Orchard. “You can pay that money and you create the embryo … you might have to get the eggs from an egg donor … who you cannot pay [it is illegal]. You can get the embryos created and implant them, but, in many cases, they don’t take on the first go-around. So, you’ve just lost $10,000 and you have to start all over again.”

For more information on Orchard’s documentary and some of the facts about surrogacy in Canada, visit cbc.ca/documentarychannel/docs/having-our-baby.

Rebeca Kuropatwa is a Winnipeg freelance writer.

Happy Canada Day 150!

The Hon. Jody Wilson-Raybould, minister of justice and attorney general of Canada (MP for Vancouver Granville), at the Canada Day celebration in Douglas Park, which is in JI publisher Cynthia Ramsay’s neighbourhood. (photo from twitter.com/puglaas)

photo - George Heyman, MLA for Vancouver-Fairview, was also at hand at the Douglas Park party. He is seen here speaking with David Berson, left, and Mary Gillis
George Heyman, MLA for Vancouver-Fairview, was also at hand at the Douglas Park party. He is seen here speaking with David Berson, left, and Mary Gillis. (photo by Franco Pante)
photo - The JI’s Pat Johnson, right, helped represent the Regional Animal Protection Society in the Steveston Salmon Festival Parade on Canada Day
The JI’s Pat Johnson, right, helped represent the Regional Animal Protection Society in the Steveston Salmon Festival Parade on Canada Day. (photo by Alan Marchant)
photo - The JI’s Leanne Jacobsen (in the baseball cap) participated in the North Vancouver Canada Day Parade with her North Shore Dragon Busters teammates
The JI’s Leanne Jacobsen (in the baseball cap) participated in the North Vancouver Canada Day Parade with her North Shore Dragon Busters teammates. (photo by Jonathan Ross)
photo - PADS puppy-in-training Pika, in the care of JI production manager Josie Tonio McCarthy, heads out to celebrate Canada Day
PADS puppy-in-training Pika, in the care of JI production manager Josie Tonio McCarthy, heads out to celebrate Canada Day. (photo by Josie Tonio McCarthy)

יום ההולדת המאה וחמישים של קנדה

(צילום: mint.ca)

קנדה זוהרת: מטבע לוני מיוחד הנופק ליום ההולדת המאה וחמישים

המטבעה המלכותית הקנדית החליטה להנפיק מטבע מיוחד ליום ההולדת המאה וחמישים של קנדה, שנחגג ביום שבת האחרון (ה-1 ביולי). במטבעה הוחלט להנפיק כשלושה מיליון מטבעות של שני דולר (לוני) זוהרים, ולהכניסם למחזור הכללי. מדובר באורות של זוהר הצפוני היחודיים לקנדה (ירוק וכחול) מעל שני חותרים אינדיאנים בסירת קאנו, באגם שמוקף בעצים. יצויין כי המטבע מורכב משתי מתכות והאורות שמכילים חומר זוהר יחודי בוהקים בלילה. במקביל הונפק מטבע זוהר לאספנים לחגיגות המאה וחמישים שנה עם ציור של דגל המדינה האדום לבן ומעליו זיקוקים (שעלותו 30 דולר).

קנדה היא בעצם המדינה הראשונה בעולם שהטביעה כבר מבטע זוהר וזאת כבר החל משנת 2004. המטבעות הזוהרים מעשי ידי המטבעה יועדו עד כה לאספנים בלבד ולא הוכנסו למחזור הכללי כמו המטבע הנוכחי.

המטבעה המלכותית הקנדית ממוקמת באוטווה ויש לה סניפים בווניפג וונקובר.

האם הייתה חצר? בטח שהייתה חצר: תושב נובה סקוטיה רכש בית עם חצר ופתאם התברר לו שהחצר לא שלו

ריאן מנינג, תושב הישוב הקטן סלומון ריוור באזור העיר הליפקס במחוז נובה סקוטיה שבמזרח המדינה, נדהם לדעת יום אחד שהחצר שצמודה לביתו איננה שלו. לפני מספר חודשים במהלך היום נקש מישהו על דלת ביתו של מנינג, והציע לו שירכוש את החצר שמאחורי ביתו. מנינג הנדהם מדברי האיש אמר לו נחרצות: “האם אתה השתגעת? החצר שייכת לי ולא לאף אחד אחר”. הוא אף הראה למציע את חוזה לרכישת הבית עם החצר שמאחוריו.

מנינג רכש את הקוטג’ והחצר הצמודה לו (שכולה מגודרת מסביב) בהליך מכירה, שהנוהל על ידי ההוצאה לפועל לפני כשלוש שנים. לאחר שהעביר את הכסף להוצאה לפועל הוא קיבל את מפתחות הבית וכן את מפתחות צריף קטן שנמצא בקצה החצר שמאחור. מנינג היה מרוצה מהעיסקה שעשה, תיכנן לבצע שיפוצים נרחבים בבית ומחוצה לו ולהשכיר חלק ממנו. אך כאמור הסתבר לו פתאם ביום בהיר אחד שרק הבית שייך לו.

בצר לו פנה מנינג לעורך דינו שיצא בינתיים לפנסיה, לסוכן הנדל”ן שתיוווך בעיסקה לרכישת הבית והחצר שגם הוא פרש מעבודה, לחברה שהוציאה את הבית למכירה במסגרת ההוצאה לפועל, לבעלים הקודם של הכנס והחצר, וכן לחברה שהייתה אחראית על שינוי שם בעלי הנכס ברישום בטאבו. למרות שכל הנוגעים בדבר הבינו את מצוקתו הקשה, אף אחד מהם לא הסכים לקחת אחראיות והם כולם אחד אחר השני, השיבו את פניו ריקם. מנינג הספיק בינתיים ללמוד כי הבית והחצר עומדים על מגרשים שונים וזה כנראה המקור לבעייה שנוצרה. הוא לא ידע מה הוא עוד יכל לעשות כדי להשיב לעצמו את החצר שרכש בכסף מלא.

בלית ברירה פנה מנינג לכתב של תחנת טלוויזיה מקומית של רשת החדשות הציבורית הסי.בי.סי, שהתחיל לחקור את הפרשה המסובכת לעומקה. לכתב התברר שקרתה טעות חמורה ברישום בעת הליך המכירה של הנכס, ובעצם רק הבית נרשם על שמו של מנינג למרות שהוא לא ידע על כך. הצדדים הקשורים בעיסקת מכירת הבית הבינו שכדאי להם להתעשת מהר לאור התערבות עיתונאי הסי.בי.סי, ואכן הם הצליחו להגיע להסכם עם מנינג שמקנה לו בברור בעלות חוקית על החצר שנגזלה ממנו. מנינג יכול עתה להירגע: מאחורי ביתו נמצאת באופן חוקי החצר שלו והוא יכול להמשיך ולתכנן את השיפוצים בכל הנכס. הוא יכול גם להגיד לעצמו: “מזל שיש תקשורת”.