Semi-Vegan Mini Fake Marry Me Cheesecakes, adapted from joyfoodsunshine.com. (photo by Shelley Civkin)
It seems that smashing food is having a moment. And I don’t mean smashing as in the British term for fabulous. I mean literally smashing. Like smashed baby potatoes, which are, in fact, smashing.
The fun thing about smashing various foods is that it’s a way of cooking that’s eminently forgiving. You can incorporate all kinds of spices or marinades and it’s pretty much bulletproof. Full disclosure: I’ve been eating way too many starchy foods lately, and not nearly enough Canada’s Food Guide choices. Enter yummy broccoli, stage right. This particular recipe is taken from Kalejunkie (Nicole Modic). I tweaked it a bit and plan on tweaking it even more next time. I might substitute summer savoury herbs for garlic, or add a bit of sesame oil. Whatever you try, I’m sure you (and your guests) will love it.
LEMON PARMESAN SMASHED BROCCOLI
(adapted from Kalejunkie)
1 large crown of broccoli
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup olive oil
1 lemon juiced
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp coarse kosher salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
• Preheat oven to 425˚ F.
• Wash broccoli and cut it up into small florets, including part of the stems. Put into microwave-safe bowl, add a bit of water and microwave until soft but not mushy. Drain the water off and let the broccoli dry on a paper towel.
• Prepare the lemon vinaigrette by whisking the ingredients together in a small bowl. Set it aside.
• Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and spread the broccoli florets evenly across parchment. Then, using the bottom of a solid drinking glass, smash the broccoli down until it’s as flat as possible. Repeat with each floret.
• Once the florets are smashed, brush the lemon vinaigrette evenly across all the florets. Then add a generous sprinkle of the grated Parmesan cheese on top of each floret.
• Bake the broccoli in the oven for approximately 20-25 minutes, until the edges of the broccoli are crispy and the cheese has melted. The time will depend on your oven, so keep an eye on them.
The recipe says that leftovers can be stored in an airtight container in the fridge for up to one week, but I guarantee you there won’t be any leftovers. Not a chance. These are so good that I’ve passed them off as appetizers, midday snacks and side dishes. My husband and I polished off an entire head of smashed broccoli before dinner the other night. I never knew healthy food could be this good. This coming from the Queen of Junk Food.
Once you feel all high and mighty for having just consumed a full head of smashed broccoli, feel free to blow it all by sampling some mini no-bake chocolate cheesecakes – or fake cheesecakes, as I call them. Any way you parse it, there is no cheese in these, yet they’re not fully vegan either.
Called mini because they’re made in mini-muffin pans, you can actually make these in a regular six-to-eight-inch springform pan if you so choose. It won’t come out like a two- or three-inch New York-style cheesecake, but I never promised you a rose garden, either.
I didn’t try making them in a mini-muffin pan because I didn’t know if I’d be able to get them out of the liners easily. Plus, I only have one mini-muffin pan. Maybe next time. Like pretty much everything I cook and bake, these are easy to make and require few, if any, exotic ingredients. I found this recipe online at joyfoodsunshine.com by Laura.
SEMI-VEGAN MINI FAKE MARRY ME CHEESECAKES
(adapted from joyfoodsunshine.com)
2 cups Oreo cookie crumbs (about 27 cookies, crushed)
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/2 cup coconut cream
6 tbsp maple syrup
1 cup roasted unsalted cashews, soaked in boiling water
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or unsweetened chocolate), melted
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp sea salt
• First, boil 2 cups of water. Place the cashews in a glass container and pour boiling water over them until they are completely covered. Let soak for at least one hour.
• Line and grease a mini-muffin pan or grease a 6”-8” springform pan. Set aside.
• Using a food processor or blender, crush the cookies until they become fine crumbs. Mix melted butter and cookie crumbs together until well combined.
• Drop 1 tablespoon portions of the cookie crumb mixture into each well of the mini-muffin pan. Use your fingers to press the crumbs evenly around the bottom of each well. Repeat with each until all the cookie crumb mixture has been used. Put the mini-muffin pan in the freezer so the crust can harden.
• Drain the cashews. Put all the ingredients – in the order listed – into a high-powered blender. Turn on low, gradually increasing to high speed. Blend until all ingredients are combined and the mixture is smooth (about 1 minute).
• Remove mini-muffin pan from freezer and make sure crumb crust is hardened. Add 2 tablespoons of chocolate filling to each muffin well. Smooth with your fingers and press the air out of each well. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours or, better yet, overnight. Top with extra melted chocolate chips, if desired.
If you use a 6”-8” springform pan instead of mini-muffin pans, your cheesecake will still turn out fine, except it won’t have the height of a regular cheesecake. It will only be about an inch-and-a-half high.
In hindsight, I should never have told my husband I was making cheesecake because, the moment he took that first bite, his nose crinkled up, his eyes narrowed and he declared (with no small measure of distaste): “Wait, this isn’t cheesecake!”
I proceeded to (accidentally) call it vegan cheesecake, which really revved up his wrath. Then I corrected myself, because neither chocolate chips nor Oreo cookies are vegan – when you track their lineage, their ancestors have both a face and parents. Fine. Guilty as charged.
I also fed him this bogus cheesecake after chilling it for only three-and-a-half hours, when I should have waited until the next day, so the filling had time to firm up. Make no mistake, this was no kind of version of thick New York cheesecake. But neither was it pudding. That’s why I went with calling it fake cheesecake, following the recent trend of fake news.
Update: Within 24 hours, my husband had willingly helped me scarf down the remaining fake cheesecakes with no further resistance. I’ll let you do the math.
Shelley Civkin, aka the Accidental Balabusta, is a happily retired librarian and communications officer. For 17 years, she wrote a weekly book review column for the Richmond Review. She’s currently a freelance writer and volunteer.