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Tag: estate planning

Plan for the inevitable

Plan for the inevitable

On Sept. 1, burial plot costs and funeral prices are set to increase. (photo from Schara Tzedeck Cemetery Board)

After Lorna Krangle’s husband, Larry, passed away last year, she determined to put her own final plans in place and not to leave funeral arrangements for her family.

“After burying him, I just thought, I’ve got to do something,” she told the Independent. “I’m not going to have all the kids being worried and putting money together or whatever. They’ve got their own families.”

Krangle, 87, has deep roots in Vancouver. She was born here, and grew up around the city, first on Main Street, near the Ivanhoe Hotel, and, later, at 19th and Cambie. She and Larry raised their six kids on the North Shore.

Larry and his brother, Jack, ran Regent Tailors, adjacent Victory Square at the heart of Vancouver’s downtown. Lorna was a ceiling-busting female saleswoman, taking orders from retailers and outfitting the Canadian Pacific Airlines female flight crews with their uniforms.

It was only recently, though, that she turned her attentions to a different kind of business: making final arrangements. Now, she is urging everyone to take the step. Krangle is a bit of an evangelist for pre-arranging.

Howard Jampolsky, executive director of the Schara Tzedeck Cemetery Board, agrees wholeheartedly. He is also urging people to consider taking the step before Sept. 1, when prices for both cemetery plots and funeral services go up significantly.

The cemetery board is the not-for-profit charity that operates Jewish burial facilities in New Westminster, Surrey and at the historic Jewish cemetery located in Vancouver’s Mountain View Cemetery.

Planning ahead can bring peace of mind to families, Jampolsky said, and it also presents the opportunity to spread the not-insignificant costs over an extended period. Without prepayment, costs of the burial plot and funeral services are due at the time of burial. Prepaying allows the fees to be spread out over months or years, with no interest or service fees. All funds, by law, are held in trust, he said.

The cemetery board now sells plots and funeral services as a package, which is a fairly new approach. It used to be common for people to prepay for the plot, but not the funeral.

“The fact of the matter is, if you pay for the plot and not the funeral, the funeral price is still going to continue to go up,” he said.

The term “pre-planning” is a common term in the funeral sector. However, it doesn’t really apply in this case, Jampolsky said. In other cities, Jewish funeral providers may be for-profit entities and offer a diversity of services. The Schara Tzedeck Cemetery Board’s philosophy is that the type or quality of a funeral should not be determined by the wealth of the deceased.

“There is really no planning for a Jewish funeral,” he said. “A Jewish funeral, as we provide one, is pretty much the same for everybody.” Unlike in other traditions or places, there is no music to choose, no flowers to select. The caskets Schara Tzedeck offers are simple pine boxes intended for speedy decomposition per Jewish tradition.

“We believe that everybody comes into the world equal, they should go out of the world equal and, to the best of our ability, that’s what we try to do,” he said.

There is another fundamental tenet of the nonprofit funeral provider, Jampolsky said: “Every Jewish person has the right to a full and proper Jewish burial.”

“If you do have financial constraints and you would like to discuss options available, certainly we can work something out,” he said. “That’s when I sit down and talk to people one-on-one and find something that works for them and works for us.”

The financial situation of a household is also a factor in considering prepayment. Preparing in advance is a good plan, he said – but not if it causes financial hardship.

“If people are struggling, if they are on a fixed income, I don’t want people to prepay their funeral and have to sit in the dark or not have their television or have to give up a vacation,” he said. “You have to live. Living is most important. But, for those who just want to get it out of the way and taken care of, it’s a great set-up.”

On Sept. 1, the cost for a plot at the New Westminster cemetery will rise to $14,000 from the current $12,500. Plots at Schara Tzedeck’s Surrey cemetery will go up to $7,500 from $6,500. There are still several dozen plots available at the old Jewish cemetery at Mountain View – Jampolsky acknowledges that some people may be under the impression the cemetery is full – and those prices are rising to $27,000 from $23,500, keeping in line with prices in the non-Jewish section of Mountain View.

Funeral services at all locations are increasing to $13,000 from $12,000.

Getting affairs in order ahead of time can make a sad and stressful time a little easier, said Jampolsky.

“I’ve seen this so many times when we are dealing with a family,” he said. “We’re talking about picking up their loved one and we’re talking about doing a burial tomorrow, because it’s so quick, and then we have to talk about the money and what it’s going to cost and they have to figure that out.”

Pre-arranging can take that element out of the mix for the survivors.

“It’s a very significant gift to give to your loved ones,” Jampolsky said. “You can remove that burden from the ones you love.”

Format ImagePosted on August 18, 2023August 17, 2023Author Pat JohnsonCategories LocalTags burial plots, estate planning, funerals, Howard Jampolsky, Lorna Krangle, Schara Tzedeck Cemetery

A death well-planned – an excerpt from Anne of Oasis

image - Anne of Oasis book coverIn Anne of Oasis, drawing on my many years as a physician psychotherapist, I tell the detailed, fictional story of what goes on in the therapy room when an eccentric, 70-year-old is obsessed with changing her life – or ending it. Anne bumbles through what she views as mysterious rituals with the therapist, explores secrets, re-jigs behaviours and, five years later, finds bliss. Here is the final chapter.

***

Chapter 26: June 2008

For two years, Doug heard sporadically from his mother and continued his requests for pearls. She made it clear to him and his brother she wasn’t coming out to Kelowna anymore. They occasionally visited her in Toronto, or in Golden, where she was staying with Eleanor for longer and longer periods of time.

When he received the phone call from a Toronto hospital, Doug asked if she’d fallen and busted her hip. They said it was more than that. They had found her unconscious on the street in Toronto with no ID, except for a piece of paper with Doug’s number on it as her next of kin. They admitted her as an Unknown Person and she was failing fast. If he wanted to see her alive, he had better come quickly.

He didn’t know what to do. He had promised to be there if she needed him for assistance in dying peacefully, but this was different. Yet how could he leave her to die on her own?

“She’s still your mother,” his wife offered.

He flew out as soon as he could. He arrived at the Toronto General Hospital, where Admitting confirmed there was no patient by the name of Anne Bishop. But a woman had been admitted as an Unknown Person. Doug wandered the halls searching for his mother.

“She was moved to a different floor.”

“She’s in ICU.”

“She’s not in ICU.”

Finally, he stepped into the Cardiac ICU and in the corner he saw a pile of breathing bones. Tube in mouth, IV in arm, sas-sas-sas of a respirator. Unknown Person at the foot of the bed.

“Is this her?” he asked the nurse at the desk.

“She was found with only this slip of paper on her.”

“That’s my name and number.”

“She apparently suffered a sudden, massive heart attack on the street.”

As Doug approached the bed, he recognized the bony lumps on her hands, the chewed-up fingernails, the crepe skin. It was definitely Mum. He gasped. His eyes filled, the lump in his throat tightened. He turned and rushed to the nursing station.

“Please, can the tubes be removed? She didn’t want heroics.”

“We barely know her name. We can’t follow any directives without proper ID and signed papers detailing her wishes.”

He took off uptown to retrieve the Dying With Dignity papers his mother had been talking about for years.

Stepping into his mother’s house, it felt haunted, full of yesterday’s glory. Dust everywhere. Her clothes neatly stashed, but neglect inhabited the place. He walked from room to room, observing photos everywhere – on window ledges, on kitchen counters, on the bedside table. Pictures of Jesse and Catherine and Doug and Bruce and Pam and Sue in every combination. Sitting next to each image was a shiny rock or pebble. He picked up each clear Plexiglass frame and stared. He was shocked to see how she surrounded herself with family. He began to sob.

He found the papers in the second drawer of his grandmother’s mahogany desk, exactly where his mother had said they’d be. Everything was perfectly organized and signed. He grabbed the requisite forms, glanced around at the family photos and returned to the hospital. They removed the tubes.

He returned to the house for a few hours’ sleep and arrived back at the hospital next morning, to find she had again sprouted pipes. The staff explained that overnight she had taken a turn for the worse and they tried to save her.

Angrily showing them the papers again, he repeated her wish to die quietly, and they removed the tubes a second time. He wrapped Mum in her favourite turquoise velour blanket he had brought from her home, took her in his arms and held her exactly as she held him as a sick boy on the farm. He noticed a flicker of a smile cross her face, then she took her last breath.

Just then, Eleanor appeared.

Through their tears, Doug and Eleanor awkwardly made their way to her house together. They expected to start planning how to say goodbye to Anne. But she beat them to it. She had detailed her every wish. They simply had to fulfil them.

“You know what?” Doug asked. “She knew what she was doing all those years ago around Dying With Dignity. We thought she was nuts, but it’s sure helping us now.”

“She was utterly determined in every aspect of her life,” Eleanor replied.

“What do you think we should do with the rocks? My brother thinks we should pitch them.”

“She schlepped them home from every spot she ever visited. Each and every one was special to her,” Eleanor sighed.

“I think we should leave some at the cemetery.”

Because Doug knew Mum hated missing appointments, he searched in her handwritten, dog-eared address book for Dr. C’s number.

“I’m so sorry,” Dr. C responded when he told her the news.

“It’s odd speaking to you in person after hearing about you for so long,” Doug said. “I’m happy to hear your voice. I need to tell you how important you were to my mother. Thank you for helping her.

“She was still difficult to deal with, but she seemed a lot happier. I also want to thank you for all the pearls of wisdom I received second-hand. Mum loved sharing them and they have been extremely helpful in my life.”

“We will all miss her.”

“As per her wishes, we are having a funeral service tomorrow afternoon at 2 p.m. at the Mount Pleasant Cemetery. We would be honoured if you would come.”

“Thank you. It would be a privilege. I’ll see you there.”

Tuesday afternoon, at 2 p.m., under a blistering sun, Doug, Eleanor and Dr. C, along with a handful of grey-haired men and women, gathered as they lowered the casket into the ground. Doug pulled out a heavy purple velvet Crown Royal bag and spoke.

“When I called Dr. C to notify her of Mum’s death, I asked what we could do with the stones Mum collected on her travels. She informed me that according to Jewish tradition, leaving a stone on a loved one’s grave signifies you have been to visit. Because of Mum’s lifelong appreciation of all things Jewish, placing stones on her grave would be a mitzvah, or a blessed act of kindness.

“I am honoured to ask each of you to dig into this bag, which held my marbles as a kid, to take out a pebble and place it on Mum’s final resting place.”

Tears rolled down his face. Doug held the bag open. Eleanor, Dr. C and the others lined up. One by one they removed a rock and placed it on the earth as it was shovelled onto the casket.

For more information, visit sharonbaltman.com.

Posted on November 19, 2021November 18, 2021Author Sharon BaltmanCategories BooksTags aging, Anne of Oasis, Dying With Dignity, estate planning, health
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