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Tag: Shabbat Project

Turning FOMO into JOMO

Turning FOMO into JOMO

Adrienne Gold is a participant in this year’s international Shabbat Project, Nov. 15-16. (photo from Shabbat Project)

FOMO: fear of missing out. Four letters that encapsulate the human hankering for absolute control, and the profound anxiety we suffer from knowing we will simply never satisfy it.

FOMO is an impulse exacerbated by social media, by scrolling through the Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat lives of others, consciously and unconsciously measuring ourselves up to their non-existent standard of living. Comparing our brats to their seraphs, our tiresome drudgery to their idyllic island getaways, our 1980s-style kitchens to their gleaming open-plan masterpieces. And, while social media does not itself cause narcissism, it certainly can help flick the switch of those tendencies latent within us. Especially those of us who suffer from FOMO by nature.

When I was a young girl, I constantly worried that I had missed something, anything that would change the tone and balance of my carefully curated life. In our family, kids came in for the night “when the lights went on” in the street. Many of my neighbourhood friends could stay out later than that, and I remember like it was yesterday sitting in my room fretting over the potential new allegiances that would be formed without me; the stories and games and fun that I would not be privy to. I would be gripped by a terror that things would not be “as I left them” and that the next day would begin leaving me in the dark.

This mindset remained with me through my teens. Wherever I was, I wondered what was happening somewhere else. Whoever I was speaking with, at whatever party, my eyes roved the room to see what else was happening, who else was there? It was as though I had internalized that whatever I was engaged in could not possibly be where the “action” was; that I was missing something that could only happen if I were not there. And this unease continued into my dating life and well into my 20s. There was no me without my agitating the universe, without my scrambling and “hustling for worthiness.”

So, imagine my horror when, many years later, I learned about Shabbat. No phone. No computer. No car. No shopping. No way! What possible benefit could there be in living 24/6 in a 24/7 world? And what if someone needed to reach me? What would I fill those gaping 24 hours with? I was a human doing, with no clue how to be. Or who to be.

Yet, in that struggle with the very idea of Shabbat came the deep epiphany that radically changed not just my world, but my psyche. In advance of this year’s international Shabbat Project, which will be taking place in cities around the world Nov. 15-16, I’m inspired to share this journey.

I was 40 when I started to keep Shabbat. (How that came about is too lengthy and labyrinthine a tale for this space.) Married with two children, deep into my career and as afflicted by FOMO as ever. Nevertheless, I was determined to do this. While the anxiety clung in the early stages of my “disconnecting in order to connect,” it was less than a year before I began to understand something that had eluded me my entire life – apparently, the world turned and ran quite nicely without my help. The control I was seeking could be found by relinquishing it. The Mishnah tells it straight when it says, “Who is rich? He who rejoices in his lot.” I learned to be still, to rejoice in my lot, to be in the moment. I felt rich.

In short, Shabbat forced me to stop trying to play God, to stop long enough to recognize that He did just fine without me. I discovered that “letting go and letting God” gave me the freedom to find value and purpose, and even joy – not in productivity but in simply being. I felt in touch with my soul and grasped in a deep sense its primacy over the body.

Over 20 years have passed since the therapeutic benefits of Shabbat first liberated me from my FOMO and gifted me perspective and clarity on what it means to be a human being; since I first tasted the indescribable spiritual delights of the Jewish day of rest.

Today, I have the pleasure and the privilege of introducing thousands of women every year to Shabbat and more. Momentum – formerly known as the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project – has, to date, taken more than 18,000 women from 27 countries on an eight-day journey to Israel to grow as people, connect to Jewish values, engage with the Jewish homeland, foster unity not uniformity, and return to take action as leaders in their communities.

As a leader on these trips, I have seen thousands of women try to make Shabbat more meaningful in some way or another. These women saw the power of what disconnecting in order to connect might do for their families, and for themselves.

Shabbat is the only mitzvah described in the Torah as a “gift.” Tragically, it’s a gift that too many of us never take the time to unwrap. I was one of them. What I didn’t understand was that ceasing to create would make me more creative, that not exerting myself would give me more strength, that being where I am, limited, constrained, here and nowhere else, has alerted me to the joy in my heart and in my life.

You were wondering about that pesky FOMO? It has become JOMO: joy of missing out.

Adrienne Gold, a participant in this year’s international Shabbat Project, was a fixture on Canadian television for more than 15 years, hosting her own daily fashion and beauty program. Today, she is a trip leader for Momentum (formerly, the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project).

Format ImagePosted on November 8, 2019November 6, 2019Author Adrienne GoldCategories Op-EdTags Judaism, lifestyle, Shabbat Project, women
Million Jews mark Shabbat

Million Jews mark Shabbat

Vancouver was one of the 550 cities worldwide that participated in the Shabbat Project this year. Activities included the Great Big Challah Bake, attending services, hosting Shabbat meals and get-togethers, and a Havdalah concert. (all photos by Sydney Switzer)

More than a million Jews in 550 cities in 65 countries participated in the Shabbat Project this year. The project is a unity initiative that was started two years ago in South Africa by the country’s chief rabbi, Rabbi Warren Goldstein, who challenged Jews to keep the Shabbat of Oct. 23-24.

photo - Great Big Challah Bake 1In Vancouver, the weekend kicked off with 400 people coming together at the Great Big Challah Bake on Thursday, Oct. 22. Ilana Rubinstein from Toronto led the event, and everyone prepared and braided dough. The braided challot were taken home to be baked for Shabbat. The warmth and excitement was palpable, as everybody knew that this was the opening event for the Shabbat Project, and that they were participating in an event that was being shared by tens of thousands of other Jews around the globe.

Shabbat is a time to reenergize physically, emotionally and spiritually and to connect to our families, to friends and to G-d. Friday night dinner and Shabbat lunch are perfect times for this and many families in and around Vancouver, Richmond and other parts of the Lower Mainland hosted Shabbat meals.

photo - Great Big Challah Bake 2 Many organizations hosted special events for the Shabbat Project, from communal Shabbat meals to kumzitz (from the Yiddish “Kum, zitz,” “Come, sit,” a relaxed gathering). The energy of the weekend spilled into the Havdalah concert starring Yitzy Fink, a musician from New York.

One family for whom the Shabbat Project experience made an impact was the Bresslers. Dalia and Brian Bressler decided early on to connect with their nearby friends. A few days before Shabbat, they planned the menu and discussed the logistics of serving and cleaning up a big dinner while observing Shabbat. They were five families with 15 children singing songs; saying brachot, including blessing all the children and the wives; and enjoying a delicious dinner. Seeing kids of all ages enjoying being together, talking and playing games without any electronic distractions was wonderful.

Havdalah 1Of going to shul on Saturday morning, Dalia Bressler said, “It is rare that all of us go to shul at the same time. Sometimes only a couple of us go and sometimes we go at different times. We all decided to go to shul as a family and we walked. It was a beautiful morning, which made the experience even better. After services, we stayed for a really nice Kiddush lunch and chatted with friends. There were many families at shul because of the Shabbat Project.” She said it was great to see everyone so connected through the project.

photo - Havdalah 2The Bresslers and their group of friends ended Shabbat at their friends’ down the street, who hosted all the families in their neighborhood for a late afternoon get-together. When Shabbat was over, they all gathered around the kitchen and did Havdalah.

What made this Shabbat Project experience so special for the Bresslers and many others in the community was being together with family, friends and the community, everyone observing Shabbat together with a million other Jewish people around the world. Many of those who participated, including the Bresslers, have committed to keeping Shabbat together again in the future.

Format ImagePosted on November 6, 2015November 4, 2015Author Shabbat Project VancouverCategories LocalTags Bressler, Great Big Challah Bake, Ilana Rubinstein, Shabbat Project, Yitzy Fink
Marking Shabbat together

Marking Shabbat together

The Shabbat Project brought hundreds out to bake challah, celebrate Shabbat and dance over three nights, Oct. 23-25. (photo by Alan Katowitz)

photo - Shabbat Project Challah Bake
Shabbat Project Challah Bake. (photo by Alan Katowitz)

Oct. 23 saw more than 400 people make Vancouver history by participating in its first community-wide challah bake. The event served as the springboard for the Shabbat Project (also known as the Shabbos Project), an initiative spearheaded last year by South Africa’s chief rabbi, Dr. Warren Goldstein, in an attempt to unite his community through the practice of keeping one Shabbat together.

It’s a disarmingly simple concept. By experiencing the magic of Shabbat just once, we can rejuvenate family and community life, restore Jewish pride and identity, and build Jewish unity across the world. The international event this year exceeded all expectations, uniting Jews in more than 461 cities in 65 countries.

Taking place over the Shabbat weekend of Oct. 24-25, the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver served as the venue for the local celebrations. The inaugural challah bake yielded several hundred beautifully braided challot. And hundreds celebrated Shabbat, many of them for the fist time. People set up tents and invited others to join them for meals and/or the whole Shabbat. Different organizations facilitated community meals and programs throughout.

photo - Moshe Hecht and his band, from New York, kept the energy and excitement going way past the official end time
Moshe Hecht and his band, from New York, kept the energy and excitement going way past the official end time (photo by Alan Katowitz)

“Once I had lit the candles, I felt an amazing wave of peace,” said participant Barbara Weinberg. “Although at first I did miss that cellphone, we started playing board games and actually it was rather nice to be off the grid. In fact, after Havdalah, I felt reluctant to turn everything on! My daughter particularly enjoyed it, as she said that she liked that we spent so much time doing things together.”

The closing event – a Havdalah concert – brought a capacity crowd to the JCCGV auditorium for a night of music, dance and Jewish celebration. Moshe Hecht and his band, from New York, kept the energy and excitement going way past the official end time. A perfect end to an amazing Shabbat.

Format ImagePosted on November 7, 2014November 5, 2014Author Shabbat Project VancouverCategories Celebrating the HolidaysTags Shabbat Project, Shabbos Project, Warren Goldstein
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