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Byline: Rebecca Shapiro

Unique book group

Unique book group

The next novel up for discussion at the Jewish-Muslim women’s book group is The Red Tent.

One Sunday in July led to several new experiences for yours truly, a 23-year-old Jew living on Vancouver’s North Shore. For starters, it was my first time in a mosque, it was my first time in Delta and it was without a doubt my first Jewish-Muslim book gathering. Thankfully, it wasn’t my first time reading a book in less than 24 hours, as my decision to attend the gathering after seeing it mentioned in this very newspaper, was pretty spur of the moment.

The book group’s second-ever session was held at Baitur Rahman Mosque, a building that, upon first impressions, was slightly imposing – British Columbia’s largest mosque, dwarfing any synagogue I’ve come across – but which proved home to an incredible amount of warmth. The warmth began with smiles when I entered the room late – it was a longer journey than I expected – and continued through the entire two-hour session about the book (I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai with Christina Lamb), and well into the snacks and chats afterwards.

Having been greeted by 30 or so women from both Jewish and Muslim backgrounds, there was the classic ice-breaker – going round in a circle, saying one’s name, a little bit about yourself and an interesting fact. I may not have been able to beat one woman’s fact (she used to be a stilt walker) but my relatively young age meant I stood out.

This lengthy introduction introduced me well to the thoughtful, kind group. In true Canadian spirit, they were from so many different places and cultures. The Muslim women in particular had a heartening appreciation for their country. One said she “liked Canada very much”; another one-upped her, exclaiming, “I am one of the luckiest people alive” for having been welcomed here. There’s no doubt that the women from both religions were of a progressive stance – the bulk of Jews was from egalitarian Or Shalom synagogue, while the Muslim women were part of the Ahmadiyya community, which has been persecuted relentlessly by more orthodox Muslim groups.

As conversation began about the book, it became clear that everyone was so lovely – was I the only person who hadn’t helped Syrian refugees settle in Canada? – that I began to wonder if the group was a case of “preaching to the converted.” Surely the people most ignorant, and most in need of education about other religions, weren’t the type who would turn up to this group? A cynic by nature, this worry stayed with me during the (fairly fleeting) discussions about the book and the (much longer) follow-up conversation about the link between religion and education, how and whether you can teach critical thinking, and other thought-provoking questions.

So, I reached out to the organizers from both sides. The email chains that followed gave me insight into two great communities and their prior interfaith ties, as well as into two pioneering women: Tiferet Welch from the Jewish community and Aisha Naveed from the Ahmadiyya Muslim Jama’at. They provided some strikingly similar answers to my questions, illustrating how much common ground can be found between the two religions (religions that, evidently, don’t always see eye to eye).

About why the book group came about, it seemed that the books were simply a way of facilitating discussion about religion itself. Welch said she decided to make the group happen after meeting some of the Muslim women, who “stated their knowledge of Judaism and, hence, Jews, was extremely limited,” but they were “fueled with a strong desire to know more.” Naveed said “the book club was initiated to remove common misconceptions between the Jewish and Islamic faith,” explaining to me how her community believes in interfaith dialogue to “encourage learning” and “prevent ignorance.”

The women were also on the same wavelength about the group’s future – Naveed called it “an organic venture” and Welch said “we want to see it progress organically.” They were both proud of what it had accomplished in such a short time: Naveed proclaimed it “a huge success,” while Welch described the discussions as “open” and “honest.”

And what did they have to say to my “preaching to the converted” angst? Naveed said that, because interfaith gatherings “are a form of open and safe space,” they mean you learn a great deal about one another. Welch said “there needs to be a distinction made between being open and being knowledgeable.” In layman’s terms: those who attend the group are open, but that doesn’t mean they’re knowledgeable, and the group aims to educate.

Welch also pointed out that, because the event is promoted, for instance, via Or Shalom’s electronic bulletin, geography is a non-issue. Theoretically, people all around the globe can subscribe to the group and see how progressive it is. And, she reminded me that, once this article is published, other Jews will know about it, and thus the group’s potential for change is increased.

With that in mind – how to sell the group to someone reading this? I’ll break it down, simply and honestly, into three points.

First off, the reading material is quality. The first session the group discussed the book Faithfully Feminist: Jewish, Christian and Muslim Feminists on Why We Stay, edited by Amy Levin, Gina Messina-Dysert and Jennifer Zobair. It led to a worthwhile discussion on how both religions are traditionally patriarchal, and what this has meant for female faith in male-dominated arenas. For me, having started off dubious about I Am Malala, the second session’s read proved a powerful one. The youngest-ever Nobel Peace Prize winner’s account is both humble and knowledgeable, a memoir that explains well the Taliban’s rise, Pakistan’s history and politics, and the monumental importance of educating girls.

Second, the discussions that stem from the books are as intelligent as they are interesting. The two-hour discussion flew by at the mosque – the only thing I can compare it to is a dream university seminar or tutorial; i.e. one not ruined by hung-over students unable even to blag the required reading. Participants were incredibly educated and respectful. We covered moral values and where they should be learned, we discussed the media’s portrayal of religion and our internal prejudices, and I gained a ton of insight into a religion that many of us could, and should, know more about. Their actual definition of jihad – as education; a clear rejection of terrorism – which hung proudly in the room, struck me as particularly vital in this day and age.

Third, the post-discussion food is fantastic. The informal portion of the event, where we stood eating (delicious snacks) and chatting, was where we all connected more personally and more deeply. I found out what it’s like to be judged immediately and constantly for wearing a hijab, and how it feels to be asked where you’re from, to reply saying “Canada,” and then receive a demanding “No, but where are you really from?” On a more light-hearted note, I found out how pleasing it is to interact with people outside my usual social circle, to do something new and to spend a Sunday afternoon with a group of thoughtful, inspiring women from all over. Oh, and did I mention how good the food is?

The group’s next meeting – about The Red Tent by Anita Diamant – is scheduled for Dec. 18, 2-4 p.m., at Or Shalom. Women interested in attending are advised to follow Or Shalom’s web page or subscribe to its email list, and to RSVP Welch at [email protected].

Rebecca Shapiro is the associate editor of vivalifestyleandtravel.com and a travel blogger at thethoughtfultraveller.com. She’s been published in the Guardian, Elle Canada and the Huffington Post, as well as various other Jewish newspapers in the United Kingdom and Canada. She currently resides in Vancouver, having previously lived in London, Shanghai and Toronto.

Format ImagePosted on December 2, 2016December 2, 2016Author Rebecca ShapiroCategories BooksTags dialogue, Islam, Judaism, women
Consider an African safari

Consider an African safari

In Livingstone, Zambia, visitors on the Jewish tour will see a church that used to be a synagogue. The Jewish population peaked in the late 1950s, to some 1,000 community members. (photo by Rebecca Shapiro)

“This guy came to stay, and asked to see the Jewish parts of town,” recounted Peter Jones, owner of the luxury Zambian hotel, the River Club. “I asked him to wait until the next day, then spent all evening swotting up on the area’s Jewish history.”

photo - The Jewish cemetery is on the Livingstone tour
The Jewish cemetery is on the Livingstone tour. (photo by Rebecca Shapiro)

Thus began Jones’ first Jewish tour of Livingstone, an historic town close to the mighty Victoria Falls. He led the guest around the country’s first synagogue (now a church), a small museum and the Jewish cemetery.

“He really took his time walking round,” Jones recalled. “I later found out he was a Holocaust survivor.”

That was 13 years ago, and Jones reckons he’s led about 100 Jewish tours since.

On a recent trip to the region, I was lucky enough to experience a tour for myself. Knowledgeable about all manner of local signs and monuments, Jones pointed out evidence of the town’s rich Jewish heritage that you’d never notice yourself – the faint outline of a Magen David beneath the old synagogue’s paintwork, the marks on a doorway where a mezuzah used to hang.

It seems appropriate, therefore, that his stunning riverside lodge is home to the first custom-built kosher kitchen in Livingstone’s tourism industry. The newly built facilities offer separate dishes for meat and milk, kosher food and customized meals for Orthodox guests. Jones pointed to an upsurge of Jewish tourists, particularly from North America, to explain why he sought mashgiach-approved status.

He’s not alone in noting the increased Jewish interest in the region: companies such as Sikeleli Africa Safaris have responded to it by creating luxury and bespoke “Jewish-friendly” itineraries.

This move made sense for the West Vancouver-based, family-run safari company, thanks to their longstanding Jewish ties to Southern Africa. I had the pleasure of spending time with the daughter, Danni, a Zimbabwean local whose Jewish grandfather held the esteemed position of mayor of Harare, the capital. She now works with many properties that cater to kosher tourists, including Zambia’s River Club, South African beachside hotel Prana Lodge and safari camp Makweti. These properties not only offer authentic safari experiences, but truly showcase the luxury available in all parts of Southern Africa.

For those who don’t keep kosher, the company’s options are, as you’d expect, more varied. This is partly because the safaris are fully customizable, but also because locations on offer include so much more than just South Africa’s renowned Kruger National Park.

photo - The sun sets on a safari in Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park
The sun sets on a safari in Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park. (photo by Rebecca Shapiro)

Safaris in Namibia can be unique. Very much off the beaten track, the arid country is home to two great deserts, the world’s tallest sand dunes and a fascinating multicultural character. A whole host of luxe camps have popped up there in recent years, and they’re the perfect place to both spot the black rhino on foot, and explore a country to which very few people venture.

So, why the increased Jewish interest in Zambia and Zimbabwe? After all, it’s obviously easier to be a Jewish traveler in South Africa than in the surrounding countries. Johannesburg boasts the largest Jewish population in the country, while Cape Town has an impressive range of kosher facilities. There are also Jewish communities to be explored in Durban, East London, Plettenberg Bay and Port Elizabeth. The Chabad presence throughout the area is as useful as it is widespread, but the cultural sights themselves form a real highlight. Don’t visit the country without visiting the Jewish Museum in Cape Town (it’s close to South Africa’s oldest, grandest synagogue), and do leave time for visiting Kleine Draken, the only winery in South Africa dedicated exclusively to kosher and mevushal wines.

From a personal and Jewish perspective, however, I found traveling to lesser-known countries to be infinitely more satisfying. This was thanks to the Jewish scene’s intimate feel there. Jews originally settled in Zambia and Zimbabwe from the late 1800s, as a result of pogroms in Russia, and later to flee persecution in Nazi Germany and antisemitism in South Africa. Numbers peaked in the late 1950s in Zambia and Zimbabwe, at 1,000 and 7,000, respectively. Since then, despite mass immigration to Israel and the West, Jewish life hearteningly continues. In Zimbabwe, for instance, Harare contains both a Sephardi and an Ashkenazi synagogue, but because the city now has fewer than 100 congregants, the prayers alternate between the two.

But, traveling in countries such as these is also more feel-good because of tourism’s boost to the economy. Many Zimbabwean camps have fantastic initiatives. Staying at a Wilderness Safari camp, for example, helps support nutrition programs for primary school children. At Miombo, a personal favorite, you can visit the Iganyana Arts Centre, where local artisans create gorgeous crafts out of recycled materials. Likewise, a trip to the River Club provides opportunities to contribute to social development projects in the village, including renovating water supplies and building libraries, as well as to take stunning river cruises, with hippo or crocodile sightings likely.

I should stress, however, that visiting Zambia or Zimbabwe doesn’t just benefit others – it provides you with the most exclusive, unparalleled safari experience. The game is abundant – Cecil the Lion’s pride strolled past my tent in Davison’s Camp – the scenery is phenomenal and the drivers are incredibly knowledgeable. There’s also a wealth of interesting attractions nearby, such as Great Zimbabwe, a former city that houses the largest collection of ruins in Africa south of the Sahara. Oh, and according to Sikeleli, a safari in Zimbabwe costs just one-sixth of the price of one in neighboring Botswana.

photo - A lion relaxes in Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park
A lion relaxes in Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park. (photo by Rebecca Shapiro)

On top of that, the countries offer such sincere hospitality that you can’t fail to be impressed – luxurious Linkwasha Camp provides kosher food on request in the middle of the bush, while Vintage, a back-to-basics Zimbabwean camp with no running water, still manages to cater to everything from vegan to gluten-free.

And did I mention that Victoria Falls, the waterfall that separates the two countries, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and natural wonder of the world? You have to see its beauty and hear its roar to really understand just how magical it is. But, until then, just trust me that, from any perspective, but particularly a Jewish one, venturing to Zimbabwe or Zambia on a safari is unforgettable.

Sikeleli Safaris runs Jewish safaris for families, couples and congregations alike. Though fully customizable, accommodation tends to be in luxury lodges and hotels in Zambia and South Africa. Prices start from approximately $6,000, excluding commercial flights and dependent on season and group size. The itinerary can be amended and can start in either Lusaka, Zambia or Cape Town, South Africa. Danni at Sikeleli Safaris can be contacted at [email protected] or by phone at 26-378-279-9697.

Rebecca Shapiro is associate editor of vivalifestyleandtravel.com, a travel blogger at thethoughtfultraveller.com and a freelance journalist published in Elle Canada, the Guardian, the Huffington Post and more. A Londoner by birth, she’s lived in Shanghai and Toronto, but is currently (and happily) settled in Vancouver.

Format ImagePosted on September 23, 2016September 21, 2016Author Rebecca ShapiroCategories Travel, WorldTags Africa, safari, Zambia, Zimbabwe
The pitfalls of Jewish dating apps

The pitfalls of Jewish dating apps

It’s rare to find a Jew who hasn’t heard of JDate. Responsible for bringing countless members of the community together in matrimony, a whole generation of young people has grown up taking photos for upload to its hallowed webpages. But 20-something Jews, permanently attached to their cellphones as are most millennials, have many other options now for finding “the one.” Aside from actually meeting people face-to-face (G-d forbid), phone apps are being touted as the way forward.

The apps attempt to connect an array of Jewish singletons – if you both “like” each other, then you can chat. The market leaders, more established JSwipe and new kid on the block Jfiix, promise to connect you with “cool, young and mobile Jewish singles.” As someone who fits these criteria (it’s cool to label yourself cool, right?), I’m here to explain why I don’t believe they’ll achieve their aim. Having lived in London, Toronto and Vancouver, I’ll do this with the help of both personal insight and that of various Jewish young professionals in all three cities.

First, there’s the geography aspect – Jewish dating apps all aim to introduce you to other Jews. Thanks smartphones, but that’s not actually a problem we have. Anyone can tell you how Jews (and other ethnic groups) cluster together in most cities. Simply check out the suburb of Thornhill in Toronto or Golders Green in London if you don’t believe me. In Vancouver, with a Jewish community that a good friend comments is “half a block” wide, it’s not difficult to find members of the tribe. We do, after all, have a shared interest in hobbies such as eating and gossiping – where we find out that supposed strangers are often third or fourth cousins.

This closeness is usually a positive: even if you’re unfamiliar with the specific community or country, Jews, in my experience, excel at inclusivity and making newbies feel welcome. But when it comes to dating apps, it leads to a problem that’s twofold. If you do live in a Jewish area, chances are that you’ll already know other Jews from synagogue, Hebrew school, Birthright or friends of friends. In response to my questioning, a friend in London summed up the issue: “Jewish dating apps are great to keep your parents and grandparents happy, but you end up just swiping left to everyone, as you know them or they’re your best friend’s ex.” So, when you live in densely saturated Jewish areas, mobile apps are needless. And, when you don’t, they aren’t helpful either. One Vancouverite I spoke to, who goes to university in Halifax, remarked, “In my limited East Coast experience, there’s no one on Jewish dating apps. Everyone who shows up is from the States.” It’s little surprise that he set up a profile with Tinder, a similar app but one that’s open to all religions.

This leads me to the second problem with Jewish dating apps: the apps themselves. Certainly, critiques can be leveled at any and all such platforms. One Ontario-based law student refuses to download dating apps, full stop, arguing that people’s profiles are so “planned” and “calculated.” True, the information you put about yourself on dating apps is mostly limited to a line-long bio and several photos, and everyone tries to look their most cultured, well-traveled self in photos. Not only does everyone start to look like clone-like serial vacationers, but it means images, not personality, inevitably end up being the deciding factor in choosing dates.

Jewish apps have somewhat tried to sideline this prioritization of looks with “Jewish preference” tools. JSwipe, for instance, lets you select preferred options for being matched up: you can choose between kosher or not, as well as denominations from Orthodox to Reform to “willing to convert.” This is a pretty rudimentary way of sifting through Jewish singles when you compare it with the fact that people used to put some actual thought into matchmaking those who might work well as a couple. A graduate in Toronto lamented that “everyone’s stopped trying to set up other friends with mutual friends because swipe-based dating apps have become the new thing.” The new thing they are, but a new thing that’s being adopted reluctantly.

Why? I attribute this, in part, to an image problem. The apps aren’t appealingly designed and are more than a little cringe-worthy. Unlike other dating apps with more casual connotations (Tinder) or novel niches (Coffee Meets Bagel), Jewish ones are severely lacking the trendy factor. In my experience, this was because they didn’t seem fun or relaxed, and they certainly didn’t seem like they’d lead to the exciting adventure that dating surely should be. In short: they seemed to be full of people who felt like they “had to” find a Jew. And, depressingly enough, it was difficult to distinguish between whether this hint of dutiful desperation could be attributed to themselves, their parents or even their grandparents.

This is why, for many, the apps are a good idea in theory, but less so in practice. The focus on Judaism implies that if two people’s religious beliefs match up, then they’re clearly compatible. This neglects vital questions such as, “Is this person actually nice?” and “Do we have anything in common bar religion?” And I’d go so far as to say that sticking steadfastly to dating Jews means sticking to your comfort zone, as you’ll likely be from a similar background. But what are your 20s for if not to date people from other walks of life? At worst, dating vastly different people can highlight what you don’t want in a relationship. At best, you’ll gain life experience and learn a ton about different cultures. I say this as someone with a dating history that includes Christians and Muslims, but who, at the end of the day, would love to settle down with someone Jewish.

What doesn’t help in this regard is being warned before a first date with a non-Jew, “You can’t marry him” (thanks, Dad). Any young person will tell you that the more a rule is enforced, the more you want to rebel against it. It’s no different when it comes to dating. Ask pretty much any young Jew and they’ll attest to the pressure we feel from family and community to settle down with a Jewish spouse. It’s easy to joke about, but the joke’s on them when the pressure pushes us away. The burden is too much, too soon. But, Dad, and other parents, just because we experiment in our 20s doesn’t mean we don’t want a Jewish household. I’m sure I will have one eventually – well, we can pray, for my dad’s sake. And you know the guy in Halifax who traded a Jewish app for Tinder? He noted, “My bio has Hebrew in it, so I guess there’s a subconscious hope that it’ll attract Jews?”

Parents, have faith that we’ll come around and maybe, just maybe, we’ll do it without having to resort to mildly dire religion-specific dating apps.

Rebecca Shapiro is a freelance journalist, amateur photographer and blogger at thethoughtfultraveller.com. A recent politics graduate, she manages to maintain bases in London, Vancouver and Toronto, while focusing a disproportionate amount of time planning new adventures. She has been published in the Times (U.K.), Huffington Post (U.K.), That’s Shanghai (China) and ELLE Canada.

Format ImagePosted on June 10, 2016June 8, 2016Author Rebecca ShapiroCategories Op-EdTags apps, continuity, dating, JFiix, JSwipe
Time to work-study abroad

Time to work-study abroad

The author at the Great Wall. (photo by Rebecca Shapiro)

Finishing university for me, like many others, brought with it employment worries and life dilemmas, alongside the obligatory cheesy graduation shots. My parents had just moved from North London to West Vancouver, post father’s mid-life crisis. I had no idea where I was now based, let alone what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, thanks to that cross-continent move and an unspectacular arts degree.

This led to my spur of the moment application to intern in Shanghai through CRCC Asia, the biggest provider of work experience placements in China. My family was confused, my friends intrigued, but knowing that the company had organized more than 5,000 internships for students and graduates worldwide, I felt secure. That was, until I arrived. The journey from Pudong’s sprawling airport taught me plenty: the vast majority of people in China don’t speak English, nor do they follow traffic rules of any sort or bother to hide their gawping at your Western appearance.

Thankfully, everyone on other internship placements was lovely, as was the media production company I worked at. The city itself was beautiful, buzzing and completely bonkers. I demolished street food daily and consumed glitzy clubs’ free alcohol almost as often, resulting in a lot of hungover sightseeing. In between weekends away hiking the Yellow Mountains and evenings making dumplings, my lifelong hobby of writing became a solid career aspiration. I set up a blog, nabbed some work experience at an ex-pat magazine and eventually bagged a coveted internship at ELLE Canada.

Aside from job gains, a more curious side effect of this trip, for me, was a renewed pride in my religion. As the only practising Jew on the internship scheme, I felt a duty to explain festivities and traditions and set a good example. This resulted in my British friend calling me “the keenest Jew” he had ever met, a title I promptly failed to live up to when Yom Kippur was spent guzzling water after a heavy night out.

Keeping kosher also proved a near impossible challenge. Though my only fluent Mandarin sentence was a proud “I don’t eat pork,” being fully vegetarian in China would have meant far too much plain rice for my liking. Sorry, all.

But, there were some success stories for Jewish life in China. After three years spent actively avoiding Chabad in my university city of Leeds in the United Kingdom, I found myself on their home turf during Rosh Hashanah in Shanghai. Back home, I would have spent the Jewish New Year in relative indifference, but in this foreign function room I was touched by how many Jews living in China had made the effort to assemble for prayer and the customary apples and honey. I met people of all ages, listened to their stories, shared mine, and engaged in what all Jews love best – eating good food, and a lot of it.

Pressure from my parents meant that my Jewish duties did not stop there. Having not yet found the financially stable, nice – and most importantly Jewish – lawyer of their dreams, I would at least fit in a dose of Jewish history. And so commenced a trip to the Shanghai Jewish Refugee Museum. Small, but filled with extremely interesting exhibits, it taught me that Shanghai accepted 30,000 Jewish refugees fleeing the Holocaust, between 1933 and 1941. It also led me through the Tilanqiao historical area, which has preserved the only features of Jewish refugee life inside China during the Second World War. Hardly surprisingly, this experience solidified both my adoration for Shanghai and my love for Judaism.

So, there you have it: the unlikely relationship between interning in China and Jewish pride.

photo - Shanghai skyline
Shanghai skyline. (photo by Rebecca Shapiro)

Not convinced to follow my lead? Your resumé will be. If there’s one thing employers like more than work experience, it’s international work experience. In a recent survey of 10,000 employers in 116 countries, 60% of respondents said they would give extra credit to graduate applicants who had worked abroad. In terms of my particular internship program, 89% of students and graduates who intern though CRCC Asia are employed in a graduate-level job within three months of returning home.

Unfortunately, only 3.1% of Canadian university graduates currently participate in study or work abroad program. The comparative stats for those in the United Kingdom, United States and Australia fall between 18% and 38%.

But, in the words of Bob Dylan, the times they are a’ changing. University leaders recently met in Calgary to discuss strategies for globally mobile students; CRCC Asia just announced a partnership with the University of British Columbia to offer internships in several Chinese cities; and graduates are increasingly starting to take the plunge.

I, for one, couldn’t welcome the trend more. Canadian businesses, and diplomatic and trade relations, sure aren’t complaining either. Give it a try and, who knows, you might even rediscover your religious roots.

Rebecca Shapiro is a freelance journalist, amateur photographer and blogger at thethoughtfultraveller.com. A recent politics graduate, she manages to maintain bases in London, Vancouver and Toronto, while focusing a disproportionate amount of time planning new adventures. She has been published in the Times (U.K.), Huffington Post (U.K.), That’s Shanghai (China) and ELLE Canada.

Format ImagePosted on May 8, 2015May 6, 2015Author Rebecca ShapiroCategories WorldTags CRCC Asia, Holocaust, Shanghai Jews
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