Mystery photo … June 24/16

National Council of Jewish Women, 1965. (photo from JWB fonds, JMABC L.13971)

If you know someone in this photo, please help the JI fill the gaps of its predecessor’s (the Jewish Western Bulletin’s) collection at the Jewish Museum and Archives of B.C. by contacting archives@jewishmuseum.ca or 604-257-5199. To find out who has been identified in the photos, visit jewishmuseum.ca/blog.

Two degrees of separation

An old audio reel that writer Shula Klinger found in a suitcase of her late father’s mementoes features a revealing interview with Viennese author Edith de Born. (photo by Shula Klinger)

When my father died in 2014, I was given an old suitcase containing his mementoes. There were photos, much of his early writing and an audio reel in a box. All it said on the box was, “Interview with Edith de Born.” I had never seen this tape before and had no idea who de Born was. I also didn’t know why my father would have had the reel because, to the best of my knowledge, he had never worked in radio.

A quick Google search told me that de Born was a novelist, born in Vienna when it was still part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. During the Second World War, she and her banker husband both worked for the Resistance. An obituary of another writer on theguardian.com mentions her as a “now-forgotten Austro-Hungarian novelist,” a gauntlet of a phrase if ever I read one. The next website I visited was a bookseller with secondhand copies of de Born’s books. The Price of Three Cézannes and The House in Vienna arrived a few weeks later.

Like de Born, my father’s family lived in Vienna in the early 20th century, in the final days of the Habsburg Empire. But what was behind my father’s desire to interview her? I took the reel to a digital studio and had the material transferred to a CD, hoping to find some answers.

The first time I listened to it, I thought I was listening to my father’s voice but couldn’t be sure. The recording was clean, without any extraneous noises, but still, technology distorts the human voice and it didn’t really sound like my dad. This man’s English was excellent and he spoke quickly, but his vowel sounds weren’t quite right, weren’t quite what I remember. His phrases lacked the colloquial idioms you’d hear in a native speaker.

A few minutes in, I was sure this was indeed my father. The recording was made not long after he had moved to England. His first language was (I think) Yiddish, followed by Arabic and Hebrew, English and French. Was my memory playing tricks or was this simply evidence of what my friends had observed in the 1970s – that my dad “had an accent”?

I listened carefully to the rest of the interview. Mostly my father asks de Born about her writing habits, literary preferences and the authors she has met. He wants to know if she keeps notes in a little book, whether her characters are based on people she knows. She answers no, no, no again and again. He seems to be looking for tips on how to be a novelist. He gets nothing.

The conversation is stilted but my father doesn’t seem dissatisfied with the author’s brief answers. Are these the questions of a novice reporter, just learning the tricks of his trade? Or is he working to a personal agenda, trying to glean something useful for himself?

I get a partial answer when de Born speaks of the authors she has met. Evelyn Waugh, she says. And Vladimir Nabokov, whose writing she describes as “divine.” Knowing that Nabokov emigrated to the United States, my father asks, “Did he have an accent?” An odd thing to focus on, one might think, when you’re discussing a world-renowned novelist.

But there’s my answer. I may have grown up oblivious to my father’s accent, but he certainly wasn’t. Like all immigrants, he was aware that it marked him out as different. In a country where one’s identity is defined by the class system, this put him outside regular society. It told others that he was different, and he was just as conscious that, to fit in and be accepted into middle class, professional life in England, one had to be more than educated, more than capable – one had to sound English, to sound as though you belonged. With tanned skin, curly hair and – as he well knew – an abrasive manner, he did his best to tone down the chutzpah and mimic the mannerisms and diction of those around him. But not before he met de Born.

I managed to date the recording to 1960 or 1961 by looking at the publication date of the book de Born is writing when she meets my father. At that time, my father had not seen most of his family for years. Was the conversation a way for him to maintain a connection to his own heritage? Or was he simply looking for professional guidance? De Born could have been the perfect mentor – if only she had agreed. It is clear, however, from her guarded answers that she is not looking to nurture an emerging new talent.

There is, however, a short conversation about her memories of Austria. For the most part, she refuses to discuss her past, but she does talk briefly about her father, a Viennese nobleman. When the emperor Franz Josef died in 1916, her father walked in the funeral procession through the streets of Vienna. She describes her fondness for her father, and speaks warmly of his influence on her life.

Fascinated to learn that there were only two degrees of separation between me and a person who had attended an emperor’s funeral, I decided to look up some of the events she described. I soon found the Pathé News archive. Turns out they have thousands of files online. Here, I found a silent movie of the 1916 procession.

Twenty-six seconds in, I was startled to see something that didn’t fit. In the midst of all the smartly dressed adult aristocrats, prancing black horses and royal footmen, there is a tall, dignified looking man. This man is holding the hand of a little girl. She must be 4 or 5 and she’s holding a teddy bear in her other hand. They turn in front of the camera for a second before they are obscured by the heads of royal guards. She reappears fleetingly, later on, and then she’s gone. Could this be de Born, the woman whose voice I hear in conversation with my father when he was still a young Israeli immigrant?

De Born’s work is not in vogue now but this is – I believe – a tremendous shame. An astute observer of human nature, her dialogue is incisive and the inner lives of her characters richly explored. The world of Viennese aristocrats is opulent but restricted, the women stifled by their positions in society. Even as the characters cling to old traditions, singing of a Habsburg emperor whose fate will be tied to Austria’s for all eternity, de Born’s narrator feels that her world is an anachronism: “No waxwork exhibition could possibly reproduce the atmosphere of a vanished epoch so uncannily as did those creatures who continued to move with old-fashioned grace in their own meaningless world,” she writes.

Soon after, she describes a very different scene, being “in the midst of people who spoke my language, but with whom I could not feel in harmony. ‘Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer …’ chanted, yelled, screamed hysterically.” Little by little, de Born introduces ever more troubling elements, gradually building on a sense of a looming catastrophe – for Austrian nobility, for Europe at large and for Jews in particular. It may be set in polite society, but The House in Vienna is an exquisitely tense and emotional read. It is no wonder my father chose de Born as his interviewee. I have not found her described as a Jewish author, but – to me at least – her photograph on the dust jacket tells me everything I need to know.

As a daughter listening to her father’s voice after his death, the reel of tape is a gift and, like the work of his interviewee, it is a little eerie. It feels like eavesdropping. I don’t know if my father meant me to have it – or even find it – but I loved hearing his chuckle as he talked about something that he cared about, so deeply, as the young man I didn’t know. It’s a great way to remember him and his accent – full of life and Israeli/European inflections – hints at how he must have felt as a newcomer in England, all those years ago.

And, of course, it’s not a particularly smooth interview. At one point, the author laughs, somewhat revealingly, “Now we’re getting somewhere!” in her own gently accented English. Up to that point, my father’s questions have mostly been dead-ends. This question, however, was different, and the pace of the conversation quickens, the tone is light, almost cheeky. Hearing him make a genuine connection with another human being – something I rarely saw myself – was pure gold. It’s an infinitesimally small hunk of gold, but when you lose a complex and extremely guarded parent that you tried throughout your life – and failed – to connect with in this way, it can feel like winning the lottery.

Shula Klinger is an author, illustrator and journalist living in North Vancouver. Find out more at niftyscissors.com.

 

Help your teen drive safely

New drivers need a lot of practice to gain enough experience and confidence to handle daily driving hazards and unexpected situations. (photo from bcaa.com)

According to research, teens value the opinions of their parents most of all (even if it doesn’t always seem like it). That’s why understanding the risks associated with driving and sharing your knowledge are so important during this process. Understanding the risks and facts will help you set rules, consistently enforce those rules and model responsible driving. Your actions make a significant difference.

The information below has been adapted from the American Automobile Association’s Guide to Teen Driver Safety – Keys2Drive, which provides parents an easy way to work with their teens through each step, from choosing a driver education program to deciding when they can drive on their own. There are three main learning-to-drive stages: before your teen starts driving, driving with supervision and driving on their own.

Before your teen starts driving, parents and teens should talk about using seat belts and set rules and consequences related to seat belt use. Establish a seat belt policy that applies to all situations, including buckling up as a driver or passenger, and having all passengers buckle up. It is important that seat belt use becomes so much a habit that it is automatic.
In crashes, seat belts help keep you and your passengers inside the vehicle where you are the safest. In crashes, seat belts keep you from hitting objects or other passengers inside the vehicle. Even if your car is equipped with airbags, seat belts are still needed to prevent serious injury in crashes. Drivers under age 21 are the least likely to wear seat belts and the most likely to crash.

Supervised driving is actually some of the safest driving your teen will do. By teaching under low-risk conditions and then gradually adding new roads and traffic conditions, you help your teen gain experience. Supervised driving will also help you decide when your teen is ready to drive on their own. Even though your teen might be old enough to get a licence, you decide when your teen is ready. Practise – different weather, traffic conditions and road types – use seat belts and make sure your teen knows that distracted driving can be fatal. According to ICBC, using cellphones and texting while driving is the second leading cause of car crash fatalities in British Columbia (81 per year), behind speeding (94) and just ahead of impaired driving (78).

Driver education and training can help your teen learn the rules of the road and how to drive safely. New drivers need a foundation of knowledge, skills and plans to reduce their risk behind the wheel. Quality driver education can help develop safe driving attitudes, hazard recognition, vehicle positioning and speed adjustment and visual search habits. Using a professional driver education school can be an effective way to provide your teen with the training needed. It can also help build your relationship with your teen. Some very skilled and safety-conscious parents may not have the time or temperament to be the best teacher.

Safe driving requires concentration, knowledge and judgment – much more than just being able to manoeuvre the vehicle. New drivers need a lot of practice to gain enough experience and confidence to handle daily driving hazards and unexpected situations. Teens will show the greatest improvement in the first 1,600 to 8,000 kilometres of driving. However, they will continue to show noticeable improvement for up to 32,000 kilometres.

First, teens need to become familiar with the vehicle, then to practise basic driving skills such as turning, parking and backing up. At first, practise away from traffic in low-speed areas like parking lots and neighborhood streets. In the beginning, always practise in daylight and good weather. Once you are sure your teen understands the basics, practise more complex skills such as changing lanes. As your teen’s skills increase, gradually add more complex and difficult situations such as larger roads, higher speed limits, heavier traffic and night driving. Always set goals prior to each driving lesson.

Only practise when you are both ready, are in good moods and have sufficient time. Practice sessions should be long enough to accomplish the goals, but short enough to avoid fatigue, loss of concentration and frustration. Practise as often as possible so that your teen can accumulate driving skills.

Driving on their own – the AAA has created a template for a parent-teen driving agreement with the goal of reducing the risks. It is comprised of checkpoints. Discuss and assign unsupervised driving privileges for each stage, with the privileges increasing with each checkpoint; for example, initially, your teen can only drive to 9 p.m. with no teen passengers and only in dry weather on neighborhood roads, but, by Checkpoint 4, they have few, if any restrictions. Decide how long each checkpoint’s privileges should remain in effect and, based on the length of time on which you agree, write in the date to review your teen’s progress. Discuss each rule, what might comprise a violation of that rule and the consequences of a violation, including the loss of driving privileges. On the review date, consider moving to the next checkpoint if your teen passes the “quick check”:

• Have enough supervised driving practice?

• Advance in driving skills and judgment?

• Obey traffic laws? (never use alcohol or other drugs and drive, never ride with a person who is driving after using alcohol or other drugs, never ride in a car where any alcohol or drug use is occurring, always wear your seat belt at all times as a driver or passenger, always have every passenger wear a seat belt, do not drive aggressively – e.g., speeding, tailgating or cutting others off)

• Take no unnecessary risks? (no playing around with passengers, messing around with the radio, talking on a cellphone, etc.; do not drive when overly tired, angry or upset; do not put yourself or others at increased risk by making unnecessary trips in adverse weather)

• “Check in” with parent before each driving event? (examples include a teen telling their parent where they are going, who their passengers will be, calling if they are going to be more than 30 minutes late or if their plans change, and calling if they cannot get home safely because of weather conditions, alcohol use or other reasons so a parent can arrange a safe ride)

• Rarely lose driving privileges?

If your teen’s progress is not satisfactory, set another review date for the current checkpoint. If your teen’s progress is satisfactory, move to the next checkpoint and decide on a review date. Continue until you have completed all the checkpoints.
Distracted drivers are dangerous drivers, and teenage drivers are more easily distracted than older drivers. Also, because of their inexperience, they don’t react as well when they suddenly perceive a danger. Every day, car crashes end more teen lives than cancer, homicide and suicide combined, and many of these teens are killed as passengers of other teen drivers. Based on kilometres driven, teens are involved in three times as many fatal crashes as all other drivers.

As a parent, you can help reduce the risks to your teen. You can set clear expectations and rules about safe driving and minimizing distractions – and you can model safe and respectful driving, including making family rules by which everyone abides.

Make Shavuot special

At sundown on Saturday, June 11, Jews around the world will start the two-day holiday of Shavuot, which lasts only one day in Israel. Also known as the Festival of Weeks because it marks the completion of the counting of the Omer period – which is 49 days long, or seven weeks of seven days – Shavuot is one of the Jewish calendar’s shalosh regalim, three pilgrimage holidays.

Unlike the other two pilgrimage festivals – Passover and Sukkot – there is no definitive ritual associated with Shavuot in the text of the Torah. As such, many Jews struggle to connect with the holiday, which has yet another name: Chag Hakatsir, the Harvest Festival.

But, despite its undefined nature, Shavuot “is a gift of a holiday,” says Roberta Miller, a Chicago Jewish day school teacher. “It’s when we got the Ten Commandments, God’s greatest present to the Jewish people.”

In that spirit, here are seven ways to infuse more meaning and minhag (tradition) into your Shavuot this year:

1. Food. It is traditional on Shavuot to eat dairy foods. Rabbi Robyn Frisch, director of InterfaithFamily/Philadelphia, explained some believe this is because the scripture compares Torah to “honey and milk … under your tongue.” (Song of Songs 4:11) Another explanation is that when the Israelites received the Torah for the first time, they learned the kosher dietary laws and didn’t immediately have time to prepare kosher meat, so they ate dairy instead.

Baking and consuming dairy foods can differentiate Shavuot from other holidays, said Miller. “We all have very strong memories associated with scent. If I smell a honey cake, I think of my grandmother and Rosh Hashanah. The smell of cheesecake generates a connection to Shavuot for my kids.”

In Miller’s family, Shavuot marks the first ice cream cake of the season, and that knowledge builds anticipation for the holiday. Just as no one in her house is allowed to eat matzah until the seder, she said no one gets ice cream cake until Shavuot.

2. Games. For families with children, games are a great way to educate youth about the messages of Shavuot. Miller suggested counting games. “You can count up to 49 of anything: 49 ways Mommy loves you, 49 things you are grateful for,” she said.

For older children, Miller suggested a Jewish commandments version of Pictionary, in which, before the holiday, children write their favorite commandment or commandments on a notecard. The cards are mixed up and put into a box or bag. Then, the family gets together, members draw picture cards, and someone acts out each commandment while participants guess which commandment it is and why it is important.

3. Guests. On the second day of Shavuot, we read the Book of Ruth, the story of the first Jew by choice. Frisch explained that it is also a story of welcoming the stranger and inclusivity. Shavuot is the perfect holiday for inviting new friends over for a meal, or for opening one’s home to people who are interested in learning more about Jewish traditions, she said.

4. Learning. Taking part in a tikkun leil Shavuot (a night of Jewish learning) is another Shavuot custom. Many traditional Jews stay up all night on the first night of the holiday to study Torah. Frisch also suggested hosting a communal night of learning that can draw in a more diverse mix of Jewish learners, or hosting an evening of learning at an individual’s home.

“Jewish learning doesn’t have to be biblical texts.… It could be liberal values or social justice or just a discussion about Jewish identity or Jewish laws,” said Frisch.

5. Birthday party. Tradition has it that King David, Ruth’s great-grandson, was born and died on Shavuot. Miller suggested holding a King David birthday party featuring decorations, cake, ice cream and gifts.

“Use it as a learning tool,” she said, noting how the party can springboard into an historical discussion. “What would you write on a card to [King David]? What do you want to ask him? What would he want for a present? What would he put in the goody bag that he gives to each of us?”

6. Nature. On Shavuot, it is customary to decorate our homes and synagogues with flowers and plants. Ruthie Kaplan, who lives in the Nachlaot neighborhood of Jerusalem and is a former Hebrew school teacher, said following this tradition of surrounding ourselves with the lushness of the natural world could “add a lot of beauty to the day.” She said Shavuot is “the perfect time” to connect with nature and appreciate the beauty of the world that God created for us.

7. Goals. Kaplan said a deeper reading of the Book of Ruth can transform Shavuot from simply another Jewish holiday into an opportunity to set goals and resolutions. Ruth, she said, believed in something (Judaism) and followed through on her belief.

“That story of Ruth excites me and really comes to life on Shavuot,” said Kaplan. “Ruth is open to the truth and, therefore, she sees it and she is willing to be honest with herself. For anyone searching and struggling, Ruth is a good role model for life.”

Mystery photo … May 27/16

At Hillel, 1987. (photo from JWB fonds, JMABC L.11123)

If you know someone in this photo, please help the JI fill the gaps of its predecessor’s (the Jewish Western Bulletin’s) collection at the Jewish Museum and Archives of B.C. by contacting archives@jewishmuseum.ca or 604-257-5199. To find out who has been identified in the photos, visit jewishmuseum.ca/blog.