Our household recently attended a Shabbat dinner hosted by the Asper Foundation. These initiatives are sponsored to boost cultural exchange, dialogue and collaboration.
The events, which draw approximately 50 people, are typically hosted by a Jewish group, but the Jewish organizations differ: sometimes it is a social service agency, a political group, the Federation or a congregation. Previous partners have included the Bear Clan Patrol, the Filipino, Sikh, Scottish, German, Persian, Yazidi, First Nations, Inuit and Métis communities, Pride Winnipeg, the Winnipeg mayor and city council, among others. Our experience, hosted at Congregation Shaarey Zedek, was in collaboration with the Charleswood United Church. The Asper Foundation just announced it will start hosting events in Toronto, as well.
Our experience reminded me of many outings with my parents while growing up in northern Virginia. At the time, there were very few Jews living in our area, as most of the Jewish community then lived in Maryland or DC. (The demographics have since shifted.) Churches frequently invited us to visit and talk about Judaism. I also spent time doing informal interfaith discussions at public school, where I was one of the only Jewish kids in my class.
Lots of people want to learn about Judaism and have questions that they don’t know how to ask. Sometimes, the questions stem from antisemitic tropes. Education helps, we hope, to eradicate hate. Often though, the gentle and kind queries come from people who just don’t know much and want to learn about who we are.
As part of the Asper exchange, we’ll also visit the Charleswood United Church in a few weeks. This will be a helpful learning experience for my children, who haven’t been exposed to Christianity as much as I was in Virginia.
This interfaith Shabbat dinner came at a vulnerable moment. Our beloved setter mix dog had just died. Sadie the dog, around 10 years old, had been sick since July, but a medical emergency arose two days before this event. We couldn’t predict when another, potentially worse, emergency might occur. The veterinarian advised us to euthanize our dog. Pet owners know how hard these situations are. Even though my husband and I have had four dogs, this end-of-life moment never gets easier. We’ve often had two dogs in the house at once in the past, but Sadie was our only dog for several years. When we came home to bury Sadie, it was the first time in well over 20 years that there wasn’t a dog greeting us at the door.
Facing Shabbat dinner without our Jewish dog felt painful. Sadie the dog didn’t get people food very often. She waited patiently through the blessings until the Hamotzi (blessing over the bread) to get her challah each week. Then, she’d go to sleep nearby as we ate, occasionally getting up to check on us at the table. Going to this community meal instead was just the thing we needed.
We were the only family with kids at the event. Our household lowered the average age of the (mostly senior citizen) attendees. One of our kids helps do accessibility subtitles for the hearing impaired at services. He joked that our invitation happened because the church guests needed subtitles to follow our service. Multiple times during the evening, the Charleswood United Church guests commended our teens for coming and participating.
At the same time, we sat at a table where other, older attendees discussed how hard it was to attract young children and how all their families were too busy to come. When they finally addressed my teens directly, that same kid who does accessibility subtitles pointed out that families and kids need to feel welcome, wanted and included; there need to be activities that meet their needs; and a community should speak to kids and families as if they matter. My kid spoke directly to the issue, which we face at our congregation as well. Then the adults turned back to their conversation without him. We eventually moved to another table to feel included.
The whole experience made me reflect on the notion of being “chosen.” Regarding dogs, we usually adopt adolescent mixed breed dogs from an animal shelter who need a home. We might go to a shelter to meet a particular dog, but, in the end, a dog chooses us, too. We are always lucky to become that dog’s “people.”
When talking to Christian groups about Judaism, the topic of the Jewish people being “chosen” often arises, though it didn’t at this last event. When considering being a “chosen” people, I think about different Jewish understandings of what this means. Some read this as an arbitrary choice. G-d chose Abraham. Others think that Jews did something to warrant being “special.” Many feel that being chosen for anything comes with accepting responsibilities, too.
Taking care of a pet comes with a lot of responsibilities. Nurturing children, a religious community or an interconnected city also requires a lot from us. Our responsibilities to one another are big ones. Sometimes, it’s financial, but it’s also offering love, support and learning even when it’s a hard time. Our needs (and our pets’ needs) go beyond food and shelter to the many rights and responsibilities that give life meaning. The Asper Foundation’s initiatives support many local organizations to improve the quality of life in Winnipeg, as well as supporting initiatives elsewhere in Canada and Israel. The philosophy of the foundation’s founders “insists that one has to give back to society and that one should, while still alive, enjoy seeing the benefits of their giving.”
We haven’t been chosen by a new dog yet. There are times when I don’t feel particularly lucky to be “chosen” as a Jewish person. We choose to work on our roles in life. Not all our choices and obligations are easy.
It was such an honour to be Sadie the dog’s people, even when we struggled through much-needed training or exercise in very cold weather. In another sense, it’s a great honour to be Jewish, a chosen people, even as we struggle through difficulties. The sense of love and collaboration we feel – with others, in community groups, or with animals, or with our families – when we work to improve our lives is well worth it. May we all take on the right responsibilities, because the work itself is an honour.
Joanne Seiff has written regularly for the Winnipeg Free Press and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. Check her out on Instagram @yrnspinner or at joanneseiff.blogspot.com.
