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May 20, 2005

Matchmaker, matchmaker ...

Modern-day yenta casts a wide net in search of Vancouver singles.
KATHARINE HAMER EDITOR

Lisa Ronis is recounting a day of walking around Vancouver, looking for men. "We were sort of scouting on the street," she remembered. "David will say, 'What about that guy?' and I'm like, 'nah.' You just get a vibe."

David is David Ozier, the director of a pilot show from local production company Force Four Entertainment, tentatively titled Urban Matchmaker. Along with Ronis – one of New York City's top matchmakers – and producer Sharon McNamara, he's part of what McNamara calls the "Jewish power team." Despite its seemingly populist subject matter, the company behind such critically acclaimed shows as Making it Big and Human Cargo (which won seven Gemini Awards) promises that Urban Matchmaker will provide thoughtful viewing. The half-hour pilot, shot in Vancouver, will air on the W network - and could well turn into a full series. McNamara said the show is modelled on what high-end matchmakers do in real life.

"I'm married and have two kids," she said, "but if I was single and could afford one of them, I would be all over it, because it's fascinating and it makes sense. What the matchmaker does is they don't only hand-pick dates for you, they also work with you and the show will put a real emphasis on that – the actual process that happens. I think that will be incredibly dramatic television."

Ronis seemed a natural fit. Five years ago she gave up a career in fashion to pursue her hobby – setting people up – professionally. Already she's been the instigator of several marriages and engagements, and has been featured everywhere from Good Morning America to the New York Times. At a cost of $5,000 US and up, Ronis offers the complete package of her services – including an extensive screening process.

"I really need to get into someone's head and find out what they're about," said Ronis. "Are their value systems the same? Do they feel the same way about having a family? Are they close to their family? It's hard enough to be attracted to someone [even] if on paper it's alright, so I try to make sure they're in the same place."

"We really wanted someone who was extremely professional, had a great track record, super reputation," said McNamara. "We didn't want to create a cheesy dating show. Lisa had the energy, she had the honesty, she really cares."

Plus, Vancouver is a whole new ball game for Ronis. "We love the fact that Lisa is a little bit out of her element. We love the fact that, until a week ago, she didn't know what Lulu Lemon was," said McNamara.

A bachelorette has been selected for the pilot episode – Ronis will meet her for the first time during filming. Now, she's concentrating on building up a database of Vancouver men (who can also apply directly to the show by e-mailing [email protected]). Ronis has strict criteria: "Is the guy clean-cut enough? Does he look available? I can just get a sense."

Ronis doesn't waste any time – and her targets don't seem to be intimidated by her direct approach. The other day, she marched up to a customer in Club Monaco and discovered that he was a single engineer yearning to meet the perfect match – so she took his details and added him to her list.

"I get them to trust me," she said. "They see that I'm real and authentic and I have a heart."

Part of Ronis's service includes a post-date analysis, where she gets feedback from both parties and is able to offer tips for follow-up dates. It involves the careful balancing of clients' delicate egos and honest responses: "I talked to one client," she said, banging her hand on the table for emphasis, "and he was like, 'Not pretty enough. Not pretty enough.' "

So what are some of the common mistakes daters make? For women, it's "dressing too provocatively," said Ronis, "or saying nothing. Or drinking too much."

Don't talk on the phone for hours before a date, either, she advised, and give too much away. "Tease him, tempt him and then say, 'Friday night sounds great, bye-bye.' Men love what they can't have. I coach women to be a little bit unavailable."

Likewise, men, she said, should never harp on about work problems or their exes and should always mind their etiquette on a date.

"I hate," said Ronis, "when a couple meet for a drink and you're sitting there drinking and it's 10 o'clock. It's so rude, if they met at six, by eight o'clock, he doesn't say, 'Are you hungry?' Either leave, or feed her!"

"That's the thing that excited us about talking to Lisa," said McNamara, "because a lot of it you hear and you go, 'Of course!' "

Already, in the process of interviewing singles for the show, she's discovered a pattern.

"They all say there are so many women in Vancouver, there aren't enough men, the men have their pick," McNamara observed. "Then the men are saying, it's so hard to approach women. It's all there, it's almost just having the mechanism, and that's how we're hoping to excite people with the show. Sure, you have to do it on television, but the premise is the premise. It's the opportunity to really connect and learn how to connect."

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