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July 7, 2006
Surviving the slumber party
How to keep yourself sane and the kids safe through the night.
SHARON ESTROFF
The first question we must tackle is, Why? Why in a million, trillion
years would we – otherwise sane, non-masochistic human beings
– voluntarily invite a bunch of overly excited kids into our
homes and keep them there for 18 hours straight?
Because from our child's perspective, nothing comes closer to nirvana
than being swaddled in a SpongeBob sleeping bag and surrounded by
good buddies when the clock strikes midnight.
Being perfectly honest here, there's no way in H-E-double-birthday-candles
that we can turn our child's slumber party into a pleasurable parental
experience. Rather, we must set our sights on damage control. To
that end, here are the top 10 slumber party survival tips.
Don't take the plunge too soon
To avoid unnecessary tears, overtired meltdowns and middle-of-the-night
departures, it's generally best to hold off on an official slumber
party until your child hits second or third grade. If your under-eight
is dead set on an overnight celebration, try a mock sleepover, where
pajama-clad guests show up with pillows, blankets and sleeping bags,
participate in standard slumber party fare ... and go home by 9
p.m.
Keep it small
It's a proven fact that slumber party chaos exponentially increases
with the number of guests. Consequently, it's always better to err
on the side of too few kids, rather than too many. (We're also wise
to shoot for an even number to help circumvent the odd-man-out dynamic.)
Maintain guest list veto power
I know that what I'm about to say is not very nice, but I'm going
to say it anyway: If your parent gut whispers to you that one particular
member of your child's guest list is likely to turn into a werewolf
during the wee hours, listen to it.
Set a late drop-off and early pick-up time I once brought home five
pre-pubescent boys after a half day of school to celebrate my son's
12th birthday. They didn't go home until noon the next day. It was
– without exception – the longest 24 hours of my life.
To spare yourself a similar fate, schedule a dinnertime drop-off
and a breakfast pick-up.
Have a pre-party pow-wow
Within minutes of your all-night guests' arrival, it's absolutely
imperative that you gather them together and establish boundaries
– both physical and emotional. Using a friendly yet firm tone,
clearly outline which parts of the house are off limits, which are
fair game and how far they may venture outside. Explain that there
will be no teasing, ganging up or exclusion and that yelling and
running are strictly outside sports. Finally, state that, although
you are certain it won't be necessary, noncompliant guests may need
to be sent home early.
Keep your finger on the pulse of the party The key to executing
a successful sleepover is keeping tabs on the party vibe –
and being prepared with a variety of activity changes should kids
start getting cranky, edgy or stir-crazy.
Don't go overboard on the sugar and caffeine
Unless you plan on having your guests run hoops around your house
at 2 a.m. to let out their extra energy, it's best to serve caffeine-free
drinks and put a cap on the sugar bowls by 9 p.m. If tummies start
rumbling for a midnight snack, popcorn is a fun and filling choice.
Designate a separate sleeping area for early-to-bedders
Some kids need more beauty rest than others, so set up a room away
from the action where guests who want to hit the hay early can retreat
for some shut eye.
Wind them down with a video
When the partiers get ready to settle down (or you reach your wit's
end, whichever comes first), have them all crawl into their sleeping
bags, turn off the lights and pop in a video. If you choose your
movie wisely (nothing too scary or peppy) and luck is on your side,
the whole crowd will be crashed by the closing credits.
Stake out middle ground
While we don't want to jam our child's sleepover with back-to-back
activities (half the fun of a slumber party is enjoying a touch
of abandon), we also don't want it to be a free for all. Here are
two sample slumber party themes that strike a healthy balance between
structured and unstructured games and activities:
Glow Olympics sleepover: Sports are twice as fun when you
play them in the dark. Stock up on glow necklaces, bracelets and
sticks (find them at www.orientaltrading.com);
glow-in-the-dark footballs and basketballs (find them at sporting
goods stores) and let the late-night games and begin! Relays, freeze
tag and hide and go seek also make for exciting entertainment for
glowing guests.
American Girl slumber party: If your daughter and her friends
are hooked on American Girl dolls, invite them and their overpriced
– yet lovable – pals to an all-night celebration. Have
hairstyling for both girls and dolls and put on an American Girl
fashion show. Give guests plain pillow cases and paint pens and
let them decorate "sleeping bags" for their miniature
buddies. Read a few chapters of an American Girl book as a bedtime
story and kiss your guests and their dolls goodnight.
Sharon Duke Estroff is an internationally syndicated Jewish
parenting columnist with graduate degrees in education and child
psychology, an award-winning Jewish educator and a mother of four.
Her first book about Jewish parenting will be released in 2007.
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