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January 3, 2003

A spiritual journey for all ages

Beth Tikvah now offers adults the chance to have a bat or bar mitzvah.
KYLE BERGER REPORTER

When Tammi Belfer's children Lonnie and Mandy had their b'nai mitzvah she knew that, more than anything else, her kids were looking forward to the party and all the gifts that came with Jewish coming-of-age ritual.

In Belfer's eyes, however, it was the journey her children undertook in order to reach the milestone that was most important.

Later this month, at the age of 56, Belfer will finally have the opportunity to undertake that journey herself when she participates in Beth Tikvah Synagogue's adult bat mitzvah classes.

Belfer will join seven other women who will be led by Rabbi Barry Leff for 15 months of learning and training in a program that will culminate in their own b'not mitzvah.

Leff explained that most of the students are from an age when women didn't always have a bat mitzvah, especially if they grew up in an Orthodox home.

"Some of [the students] feel it may have been something that had been denied them as a child," Leff said of the motivation to take the course. "They feel that they missed out on something and they wanted to make up for it."

Belfer, who was raised in an Orthodox family in Montreal, said that as a teenager she had never heard of women having b'not mitzvah, so it was not an option for her when she turned 13.

Now a member of Richmond's Conservative shul, Belfer said she went through a long process that included accepting the idea that it was OK for a woman to go up to the Torah.

"I thought it was time to start looking at some of the reasons that women have b'not mitzvah all together," she said. "And I wanted it to be meaningful. I wanted to understand the why and wherefore."

Belfer said that she considered herself to be a very spiritual person who was always looking for something more.

Leff said that adult women who complete programs like this usually share a unique sense of accomplishment.

"There's something different about studying this stuff as an adult rather than as a kid," he said. "A lot of the time, people end up becoming more active and dedicated in the shul because they end up more knowledgeable."

There will be a ceremony at the end of the program in which the women will celebrate their b'not mitzvah. Belfer said that some of the students were talking about extending the celebrations a little further. "I also want a party," she laughed.

The weekly classes will be broken into two parts: general education and Hebrew and davening skills.

The general education curriculum will include Jewish history, the Jewish lifecycle calendar, holidays and festivals and Jewish ethics. The Hebrew and davening curriculum will focus on basic Hebrew, the prayer services, Torah reading and trope.

It's not too late to sign up for the Wednesday classes and men who have not yet had their bar mitzvah are encouraged to participate as well. For more information, call Beth Tikvah at 604-271-6262.

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