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Dec. 29, 2006

Camp: Is your child ready?

Certain signals indicate whether they can manage alone overnight.
SHARON DUKE ESTROFF

Going to overnight camp for the first time: it is – in many circles – a Jewish rite of passage. Unlike becoming a bar or bat mitzvah, however, the perfect timing for transitioning from day-camper to overnight camper is not preordained; on the contrary, it can vary significantly from child to child.

With no magic age to rely on, how do we determine whether or not our child is ready to take the sleep-away plunge? We take a deep breath, separate our own conflicted emotions from the question at hand and look for the following overnight camp readiness markers in our son or daughter (adapted from guidelines by Chris Scheuer, director of camping for YMCA camping services of Greater New York):

A desire to go to overnight camp

True, some kids require gentle nudges to get them into the sleep-away state of mind. But if you notice your child turning a ghastly gray every time you broach the topic of bug juice or smores, chances are you should wait another round of the calendar before bringing them up again.

Successful experiences away from home

Generally speaking, kids who routinely spend the night with friends without 3 a.m. pleas for pick-up or survive a week at Baba's with minimal trauma are more likely to take to an extended stay at overnight camp than kids who don't.

Adaptability to new routines

Every child takes a little while to settle into new schedules and routines, but some kids become prohibitively anxious in the absence of familiar protocol. In other words, if you believe your child might wig out if his favorite Scooby Doo mug isn't delivered nightly to his bedside with spring water and crushed ice, overnight camp may be a Scooby Don't for now.

Ability to interact with other children

Your child needn't be a social debutante, but a basic knack for integrating into a group, relating to other kids and forging friendships is vital for group/bunk life.

A handle on hygiene basics

While overnight camp provides an excellent forum for promoting independence in kids, a child who has yet to nail down hygienic basics (ex. face and body washing, hair and tooth brushing, nose and tuchas wiping) can quickly become dishevelled, malodorous and embarrassed.

Ability to express needs

Plenty of shy kids thrive in a sleep-away setting, but profound hesitance to communicate personal needs – especially when a child is not feeling well, needs help learning a skill or isn't sure where an activity is taking place – can compromise a camper's physical and emotional well-being.

Willingness to experience the outdoors

No matter how expensive an overnight camp might be, it is not going to be the Ritz. On the contrary, spiders, snakes, rain and mud are part of the overnight camp fabric. While most kids take well to the opportunity to connect with nature on such an intimate level, some kids – let's just say – do not.

Respect for adults

Enjoying a bit of parent-free abandon is part of the fun of overnight camp. Still, basic kavod toward counsellors, specialists and other authority figures, and willingness to adhere to adult-initiated boundaries, are prerequisites for a successful sleep-away stay.

Consult your parent gut

Finally, keep in mind that the aforementioned guidelines are not foolproof. Some kids may receive stellar scores in classic overnight camp readiness signs and still not be ideal summer sleep-away candidates. Others may come up short on paper, but do absolutely fine at overnight camp.

This is why it's always important to consult your parent gut - your intrinsic understanding of your child – before making a final decision on this issue (and on any other parenting issue for that matter). If, after careful consideration, you determine your son or daughter is not quite ready for prime-time overnight camp, don't despair. Embrace the coming months as an opportunity to help your little camper reach these milestones, and reassess the situation next year.

Sharon Duke Estroff is an internationally-syndicated Jewish parenting columnist, award-winning educator and mother of four. Her first parenting book, Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? will be released in 2007.

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