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Dec. 15, 2006
Single in the holidays
The plus is you can go to any parties you want.
REBECA KUROPATWA
The holiday season can be a mixed bag for most people at the best
of times. Often, along with the anticipation and excitement of spending
time with family and friends, at house parties, events and outings,
comes the anxiety and stress over the high expectations that come
with the good times.
Everyone who has been single at one time or another during holidays
likely knows all too well the double-edged sword of the season.
In the Jewish tradition, Chanukah is the next holiday knocking on
our collective doorstep. So, just what kinds of special plans, activities
and resolutions are some of us mulling over this time of year?
"There is so much people can do during the holidays to be able
to feel a sense of belonging and connectedness," said Merrill
Shwaid of Winnipeg's Jewish Child and Family Services. "I will
be travelling to spend the holidays with my daughters this Chanukah,
so this will be a particularly special holiday for me. Locally,
too, there is so much that people can do. There are candlelighting
ceremonies and Chanukah parties and dinners happening all around
the city. There are wonderful things people can do in terms of volunteering,
as well. Young adults, who maybe don't have family here, can connect
with seniors over the holidays. They can form a group and create
Chanukah hampers – delivering them to those in need and to
brighten people's holiday experience. It is also a lot of fun to
host a party – making it a potluck, or having people bring
Chanukah gifts."
Anna Schwartz, who recently started up a Winnipeg singles group
called the Jewish Singles Project (JSP), said she plans to organize
more singles get-togethers. JSP had their first event at the Asper
Jewish Community Campus in mid-November: a screening of the film
Blues by the Beach. Schwartz said that she would like to see more
local Jewish organizations help get JSP off the ground, as not enough
singles know about it or when and where the events are taking place.
"The more people there are coming to attend the events, the
better the chances are that everyone will have a good time, get
a chance to meet people and come to future events," she said.
"At the first event, only three men and two women came. Hopefully,
as word of JSP gets out, it will become bigger and more successful."
Bella Iomdina, Schwartz's sister, who is single and a member of
JSP, said, "as of now, I don't have any particular holiday
plans – but then, I see Chanukah more as a holiday for kids.
There will be a Chanukah party at Asper Campus and at the Lubavitch
Centre. I will probably go to those parties. Usually, for Chanukah,
I go over to my sister's family's place and we light the Chanukah
candles together, but this year they will be spending the holiday
in Israel. Me? I am open to any kind of holiday get-together where
I might also be able to meet some new people – a blind date,
an event, anything. Like most everyone else, I am looking for someone
who is open-minded, non-judgmental, kind and considerate."
Alex Gorelik is an Israeli who moved to Winnipeg in June.
"I am not sure what I will do over the holidays," said
Gorelik. "Chanukah is really not celebrated today like it used
to be. It used to be a bigger deal with my family in Israel. We
used to celebrate all of the holidays. On Chanukah, at least, we
would get together to light the menorah, but now not even that.
We'll see how things will be in Winnipeg. It will be my first Chanukah
here, so I don't really know yet what to expect. I'd like to get
out and meet people."
Kalman Smelyansky, also from Israel, is in Winnipeg attending university.
He explained that one of the plusses to being single during the
holidays "is that you don't have to cook for a lot of people.
Also, you can choose from many different places to go to, where
your friends invite you to go. The minus, of course, is that you
are alone. I say people should just take a vacation to the Caribbean
islands or the Bahamas – somewhere with sandy beaches and lots
of fun – especially with the weather we've been getting here
this winter. Not a lot of people I know really observe the laws
of the holiday anymore – at the most, they just light the menorah."
Rebeca Kuropatwa is a Winnipeg freelance writer.
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