I was honoured with the opportunity to chant the first aliyah for the Torah portion Aharei Mot. I\u2019m still new to chanting Torah, so I practise every day. I can read and translate Torah but, for some reason, I didn\u2019t reflect on what I was reading at first. I was chanting that very sensitive set of instructions given from G-d to Moses to pass along to his brother Aaron.<\/p>\n
A few weeks ago, we read in Leviticus 10:1-7 that Aaron\u2019s sons Nadav and Abihu offered \u201cstrange\u201d or \u201calien\u201d fire. Their sacrifice was overeager and unusual. They drew \u201ctoo close\u201d \u2013 in some readings of Leviticus 16:1 \u2013 to G-d and were struck down. They were killed.<\/p>\n
After the death of Aaron\u2019s sons, the instructions Moses passes along to Aaron are crucial. He isn\u2019t to go into the Holy of Holies, behind the curtain, because G-d dwells in a cloud above the cover. Aaron\u2019s sacrifices and his approach to the holiest spaces are scripted, careful and correct. When reading rabbis\u2019 commentaries on this, their thoughts are all over the place, from quoting Sting\u2019s lyrics \u201cDon\u2019t Stand so Close to Me\u201d to talking about vulnerability and the divine. This is a text that has a lot to unpack.<\/p>\n
As a freelancer, I do writing and editing jobs with various deadlines. Sometimes, I write a piece months in advance, submit, and hear nothing back until the publication arrives in the mail with payment. With other jobs, I get to revise and review copy edits, the editor says exactly when the piece will run and I\u2019m paid early without prompting. Others require me to submit an invoice or I don\u2019t get paid at all. Every gig is different. I\u2019ve even worked for publications that have gone bankrupt before my article was to appear. So, I did all the work but, in the end, received nothing, not even a publication credit.<\/p>\n
In other situations, I write or edit something with a short deadline. These can be very satisfying jobs that happen quickly. Sometimes, it\u2019s a political analysis piece that runs in the newspaper. Other times, it\u2019s a healthcare editing job that might improve the lives of breastfeeding moms. There\u2019s a thrill to a tight deadline where I manage to get it done, and perhaps make a difference.<\/p>\n
Before Passover, I submitted some queries (ideas) to a publication with which I\u2019d worked before. I got a very fast response. The editor said she\u2019d been about to write on one of these topics. Would I cover it instead? I said sure, asking for her outline and any other details she wanted included. Instead, she suggested I write it on my own, without her outline. I did this as fast as I could, as I also faced the hard deadline of cleaning and cooking for the holiday. I asked for quick feedback, since my time was limited, but I didn\u2019t receive any.<\/p>\n
Almost a week later, the editor asked me for revisions, asking why I didn\u2019t include several items, which were on her mental checklist, unbeknown to me. I didn\u2019t feel prepared to do it, but I researched and did one more rewrite before Pesach.<\/p>\n
During the middle of the Passover, the copy edits arrived. I\u2019d never seen so many before! Much of it seemed to ask me to prove mundane things with academic sources. Many copy editors have provided me with corrections and solutions over the years, and it\u2019s usually just an \u201capprove\u201d track changes or a comment or two to move ahead. Responding to these comments took nearly three hours. I felt as though perhaps I\u2019d written something wrong, although I\u2019d been researching, writing and teaching on the topic for years.<\/p>\n
The next day, I received a note from the editor. It would take too long for us to come to agreement over the edits. I was sent a \u201ckill fee.\u201d A kill fee is usually a quarter to a third of the amount agreed to for the whole project, if the project cannot go forward. This was a bit of a relief. I had more time for the holiday. I could be done with a hassle that already had earned me less than minimum wage.<\/p>\n
Moments after I accepted the kill fee, the editor was on social media, writing glib jokes about the article topic and how she had to write the article herself. So, not only had I lost the gig, but there was some shame now, too. This was public \u201cpunishment.\u201d Somehow, I\u2019d been incapable of writing on this supposedly easy topic. With the holiday\u2019s end and Shabbat approaching, I had ample time to reflect on the crummy experience.<\/p>\n
For context \u2026 in the book Little Women<\/em>, published more than 150 years ago, the character of Jo March is offered a $100 US prize payment for a story she wrote. I was offered $150 Cdn to write this story and paid a kill fee $50 Cdn.<\/p>\n When I thought back on Aaron\u2019s painful loss of Nadav and Abihu, and how they\u2019d been warned not to do things the wrong way, I wondered what lessons I could find there. I don\u2019t make sacrifices at an altar. I never want to lose my children in such an awful way. However, on a much smaller scale, I pushed myself too hard to meet an elusive last-minute work goal. It cut me close when I failed, and then to be shamed via social media for it. I had my work \u201ckilled\u201d \u2013 perhaps because my writing failed to come close enough to the editor\u2019s ideas, or maybe because it was a little too detailed or uncomfortable and they questioned it. Who knows? Just as we will never know what Nadav and Abihu were thinking, I couldn\u2019t be inside this editor\u2019s thoughts either.<\/p>\n Unlike Aaron, I don\u2019t have to work with this editor\/client again. Aaron serves G-d, and cannot make the same mistakes his sons did. He is in a painful place where he must learn to do better. I, too, am in a place where I need to reconsider how I work and what I will work towards.<\/p>\n Luckily, I didn\u2019t lose anything so precious as did Aaron. I can still explore how to make things better \u2013 it\u2019s important to find a work\/life balance that works, because that article was not worth the hassle. As the TV advertisement goes, some (important) things, like our family and holiday celebrations, are priceless.<\/p>\n Joanne Seiff <\/strong>has written regularly for CBC Manitoba and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including <\/em>From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. Check her out on Instagram @yrnspinner<\/a> or at joanneseiff.blogspot.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was honoured with the opportunity to chant the first aliyah for the Torah portion Aharei Mot. I\u2019m still new to chanting Torah, so I practise every day. I can read and translate Torah but, for some reason, I didn\u2019t reflect on what I was reading at first. I was chanting that very sensitive set […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[21495,8154,21494,218,9638,6002,2172,7381],"class_list":["post-38785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-op-ed","tag-editing","tag-ethics","tag-freelance","tag-judaism","tag-publishing","tag-social-media","tag-torah","tag-writing"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38785","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38785"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38785\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}