{"id":36583,"date":"2021-03-19T01:19:15","date_gmt":"2021-03-19T08:19:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/?p=36583"},"modified":"2021-03-18T14:48:22","modified_gmt":"2021-03-18T21:48:22","slug":"a-pesach-like-never-before","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/2021\/03\/19\/a-pesach-like-never-before\/","title":{"rendered":"A Pesach like never before"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cabbage matzah never tasted so \u2026 good? (photo from pixabay.com<\/a>)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Have you ever eaten cabbage matzah? Probably not. But, in Chelm, the village of fools, they still talk about it\u2026.<\/p>\n

Many winters ago, to battle an outburst of influenza, the villagers of Chelm used all their chickens and most of their vegetables to feed their sick neighbours in Smyrna a healing chicken soup. The Smyrnans got better, but, in Chelm, all that was left was cabbage.<\/p>\n

Because of this food shortage, the Chelmener ate cabbage for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Mrs. Chaipul in her restaurant served cabbage porridge, cabbage stew, cabbage stuffed with cabbage, cabbage brisket (don\u2019t ask) and cabbage cake for dessert.<\/p>\n

No one was happy. The children whined, teenagers complained, fathers groused and mothers growled and snapped. Only Doodle the orphan, who had an unfathomable love of cabbage, enjoyed the food. But, he quickly learned to keep his appreciation to himself.<\/p>\n

Reb Cantor the merchant had hoped for a delivery, but supplies were not expected to arrive until after Passover.<\/p>\n

One morning, there was a timid knock on the door to Rabbi Kibbitz\u2019s study.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo away!\u201d The learned man was cranky from excessive consumption of cabbage.<\/p>\n

Rabbi Abrahms nudged Reb Stein the baker into the room. \u201cWe\u2019ve come up with a solution.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRye bread?\u201d Rabbi Kibbitz\u2019s eyes gleamed hungrily. \u201cChallah? Babke? Strudel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStop it! No!\u201d Reb Stein cried. \u201cYou\u2019re making me hungry. I have invented cabbage matzah.\u201d<\/p>\n

The wise rabbi stared at his friend the baker. \u201cThat sounds horrible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is,\u201d Reb Stein admitted.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s kosher for Passover!\u201d explained Rabbi Abrahms, the mashgiach responsible for everything kosher.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one is going to want it.\u201d The poor baker was near tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cBake it anyway,\u201d sighed Rabbi Kibbitz. \u201cI\u2019ll pay for it out of the discretionary fund.\u201d<\/p>\n

Reb Stein nodded glumly and returned to his bakery.<\/p>\n

The weather was fine that year, so the villagers planned the community seder to be outdoors in the round village square.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe menu is a marvel,\u201d Mrs. Chaipul sarcastically explained to Rabbi Kibbitz. \u201cCabbage ball soup, chopped cabbage liver, poached cabbage, braised cabbage, cabbage charoses and, of course, Reb Stein\u2019s cabbage matzah for the afikomen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rabbi Kibbitz suppressed a wave of nausea. \u201cAt least we\u2019ll be outside, so we won\u2019t smell it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Aside from young Doodle, no one was looking forward to Passover.<\/p>\n

On erev Pesach, everyone trudged to the round village square to commemorate the Exodus from Egypt. With a sigh and a blessing, the service began.<\/p>\n

The wine flowed. Reb Cantor the merchant had opened a locked cellar and rolled five barrels of \u201cI don\u2019t know what vintage it is, but it\u2019s not cabbage\u201d to the round square.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is truly the bread of affliction,\u201d Rabbi Kibbitz said as the thick brassica afikomen snapped with a resonating crack!<\/p>\n

Reb Stein looked doleful.<\/p>\n

At last, after the Hamotzi, everyone tasted the so-called matzah.<\/p>\n

It was revolting. Not only was the greenish cabbage matzah bitter and sour and cabbage-flavoured, it was dry and stuck to the roof of your mouth and your teeth like grout on tile.<\/p>\n

Everyone quickly mumbled another blessing, and gulped down another cup of wine.<\/p>\n

Through his tears, Reb Stein the baker, who was a craftsman at heart, began to laugh. His laughter spread around the table. It grew loud. It grew raucous.<\/p>\n

Young Doodle took the opportunity to jump up onto a table and bang his glass with a spoon.<\/p>\n

Quickly the laughter died down. Such behaviour in the middle of a seder had never been seen! Fortunately, Doodle had taken off his shoes and wore clean socks because Mrs. Kimmelman never would have forgiven him for getting dirty footprints on her best tablecloth.<\/p>\n

Doodle began, \u201cI know that you all hate cabbage!\u201d<\/p>\n

There were cheers and boos and applause.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut,\u201d he continued, \u201cI look around and see my whole community gathered together and I can\u2019t help but think how grateful I am. We have our health. We have our homes. We have one another to support us.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is rare for the villagers of Chelm (or indeed any gathering of Jews at mealtime) to fall quiet, but a hush spread.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are blessed that we live in peace and freedom, and are not enslaved.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now there was nodding and shouts of, \u201cAmen!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRaise a glass with me,\u201d Doodle said.<\/p>\n

All glasses were held high.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor this cabbage that we eat tonight,\u201d Doodle said, \u201crepresents the hope that, one day, all women, all men, all people will be freed from oppression and slavery.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd freed from more cabbage!\u201d heckled Adam and Abraham Schlemiel together.<\/p>\n

\u201cMay we all live in peace!\u201d shouted Rabbi Kibbitz, who had gotten completely caught up in the moment.<\/p>\n

Then, with a rousing \u201cMazel tov!\u201d the villagers of Chelm toasted, drank and ate with gusto.<\/p>\n

The next morning, Rabbi Kibbitz realized something as he talked with Mrs. Chaipul.<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, that was one of the best seders ever. And the food.\u2026\u201d The wise old man looked around the restaurant to make sure no one else was listening. \u201cThe food was delicious.\u201d<\/p>\n

The wise old woman smiled, thought about it, nodded and asked, \u201cSo, shall I order some cabbage matzah for next year?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d laughed the rabbi. \u201cNever again!\u201d<\/p>\n

Mark Binder<\/strong> is the author of <\/em>The Misadventures of Rabbi Kibbitz and Mrs. Chaipul, <\/em>Matzah Misugas, and many other \u201cLife in Chelm\u201d stories. Visit his website at markbinderbooks.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

* * *<\/strong><\/p>\n

Reb Stein\u2019s Kroyt Matzah<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n