I\u2019m here to boldly encourage you to try something entirely different at your Rosh Hashanah table this year. No, not a pony. A new food. Serve it, to non-vegetarians. And, if anybody asks what they\u2019re eating, confidently tell them it\u2019s a family secret. Don\u2019t forget to mention that, if you tell them, you\u2019ll have to kill them. That generally stops people in their nosy tracks. Let me be perfectly transparent: the food I\u2019m about to suggest is on the meat spectrum. Alright, meat adjacent.<\/p>\n
Isn\u2019t it enough that everyone\u2019s oohing and ahhing over the unparalleled tenderness of the dish? The specifics are strictly on a need-to-know basis. And no one needs to know. Except your butcher. OK, enough. It\u2019s beef tongue. You heard correctly. I\u2019m aware it\u2019s not politically correct \u2013 after all, some farmer is clearly stifling free speech. Even if it only belongs to a cow. (And, technically, they can\u2019t speak anyway. So moot point.)<\/p>\n
Just so we\u2019re clear, beef tongue is definitely not vegan. Or vegetarian-friendly. Not by a New York mile. I\u2019m simply providing you with an alternative to screaming chicken, Coca-Cola brisket and mayo-slathered, onion soup-mix salmon.<\/p>\n
I know that beef tongue screams old school (and Council cookbook). But so do I. And, if we\u2019re going to be honest about it, people are still enthusiastically scarfing down ketchup-glazed meatloaf and baked salami filled with French\u2019s mustard. They\u2019re just not yelling it from the rooftops. So, loosen up and try thinking of beef tongue as a distant relative. Second cousin twice removed. Only maybe a little farther. But, still, meat mishpachah.<\/p>\n
Before you pooh-pooh it, give it a shot. At least Google it and see what other Jews have to say about it. Most delis sell it pickled. But, believe me, pickled tongue has nothing on the sweet and sour version. Personally, I prefer to just boil it, cool it and eat it in a sandwich. With yellow mustard. On white bread. I can see the lynch mob in the distance.<\/p>\n
The cooking part is where it gets tricky. If you\u2019re a man, chances are you can\u2019t relate to what I\u2019m about to describe. You ladies, on the other hand, will understand perfectly. The cooking per se<\/em> is easy (see recipe below). The next part is where it gets awkward. Once it\u2019s cooked, you need to peel off the rubbery outside skin: think of taking off a pair of too-thick, too-tight pantyhose. That are wet. And it\u2019s a hot, humid day. Not a particularly appealing visual, but it\u2019s fairly accurate hyperbole.<\/p>\n Trust me when I tell you that your family\/guests will be drooling all over themselves, demanding the recipe \u2013 if they can get past the sordid cooking details. Without further ado, here goes. And don\u2019t be fooled by the simplicity of the recipe. You\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n SWEET AND SOUR BEEF TONGUE<\/strong><\/p>\n 1 beef tongue Put the tongue and the rest of the ingredients into a deep pot with enough water to cover it well. Bring to a boil and simmer partly covered for about three-and-a-half hours, until tender when pierced with a fork. As it\u2019s cooking, skim off the shmootz that forms on top. When tender, remove from the water. While it\u2019s still warm, remove the skin (see detailed, gross description above), bones and stem. Slice and serve as is, or slice and serve with the sweet and sour sauce.<\/p>\n At the end of the day, a well-cooked beef tongue is all you need and nothing you don\u2019t. But, I get that some of you are disgusted at the thought of eating tongue. So, for you finicky folks, I offer up another old school recipe \u2013 short ribs. This one is decades old and was handed down from my father\u2019s cousin, Bertha Bloom. Nobody said it was diet food, so, if you\u2019re not fussy about calories, go for it. Short ribs are notorious for being fatty, but therein lies most of their charm. Alright, all of their charm. You\u2019ll diet tomorrow. And, hopefully, not die of clogged arteries tonight. But, have your cardiologist on speed dial, just in case.<\/p>\n BERT BLOOM\u2019S BARBEQUE SHORT RIBS<\/strong><\/p>\n Season two pounds of short ribs with salt, pepper and garlic salt then broil them until brown and half cooked. Transfer them to a covered Dutch oven (or similar deep roasting pan). For the sauce:<\/p>\n 1 cup chili sauce Mix the ingredients together \u2013 including the juice from the pineapple tin, but not the pineapple \u2013 put in a pot and bring to a boil. Pour the sauce over the ribs and cook covered at 300\u00b0F to 325\u00b0F for one-and-a-half to two hours, basting occasionally. Add the crushed pineapple 20 minutes before it\u2019s finished cooking and leave uncovered. Prepare to be awed by the yumminess factor.<\/p>\n For your guests who prefer healthy food, you may want to direct them elsewhere for Rosh Hashanah dinner. Or, if you\u2019re a\u00a0really nice and accommodating host, make them a marinated tofu mock-roast. Or a Tofurkey. But, for those of you indulging in the short ribs, now might be a good time to loosen your belt or unzip your skirt, and prepare to stuff your belly. It\u2019s Rosh Hashanah. Celebrate with some new arterial stents! Tell Dr. Saul I sent you.<\/p>\n Shelley Civkin<\/strong>, aka the Accidental Balabusta, is a happily retired librarian and communications officer. For 17 years, she wrote a weekly book review column for the <\/em>Richmond Review. She\u2019s currently a freelance writer and volunteer.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m here to boldly encourage you to try something entirely different at your Rosh Hashanah table this year. No, not a pony. A new food. Serve it, to non-vegetarians. And, if anybody asks what they\u2019re eating, confidently tell them it\u2019s a family secret. Don\u2019t forget to mention that, if you tell them, you\u2019ll have to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[781],"tags":[19795,3584,1801],"class_list":["post-35424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holidays","tag-beef-tongue","tag-cooking","tag-rosh-hashanah"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35424"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35424\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/strong>2 onions, peeled and quartered
\n<\/strong>3 cloves garlic, peeled and halved
\n<\/strong>2 bay leaves
\n<\/strong>***
\n15 oz can of tomato sauce
\n<\/strong>15 oz water
\n<\/strong>3\/4 cup brown sugar
\n<\/strong>juice of 1 lemon
\n<\/strong>1\/2 cup sultana or dark raisins
\n<\/strong>dash of Worcestershire sauce (optional)
\n<\/strong>salt and pepper<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>1\/4 cup ketchup
\n<\/strong>4 tsp dry mustard
\n<\/strong>1\/2 cup brown sugar
\n<\/strong>1 clove garlic, crushed
\n<\/strong>1 tbsp soy sauce
\n<\/strong>small tin of crushed pineapple<\/strong><\/p>\n