{"id":34427,"date":"2020-03-13T03:45:44","date_gmt":"2020-03-13T10:45:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/?p=34427"},"modified":"2020-03-12T16:49:08","modified_gmt":"2020-03-12T23:49:08","slug":"supporting-gender-diversity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/2020\/03\/13\/supporting-gender-diversity\/","title":{"rendered":"Supporting gender diversity"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ara Morris, principal of Brock Corydon School, left, and Naomi Finkelstein, co-founder of Parents Family Friends of Transgender Individuals. (photo from Morris and Finkelstein)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The Winnipeg School Division recently assembled a panel to discuss ways to best support trans and gender diverse children and youth, especially in school settings.<\/p>\n

Ara Morris, principal of Brock Corydon School, was invited to sit on the Jan. 22 panel, which took place at Prince Charles Education Resource Centre. \u201cOur school has been very active in talking about gender,\u201d said Morris. \u201cWe\u2019ve been making changes to our school as a result of having children in our school who are transgender. We want all of our students, all of our families, to feel included, important, and as equal members of our community and so, to do that, sometimes we have to reflect on the different ways that we are speaking, the different language that we are using.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe know that many times children identify themselves in all different ways,\u201d she said. \u201cWe want to be respectful of that. We have had a lot of professional development for our teachers and that has included programs from the Rainbow Resource Centre,\u201d which offers support, counseling and educational programs for LGBTQ2S+ individuals and allies.<\/p>\n

Brock Corydon has invited the parent of a transgender student to speak with school staff, and teachers have led sessions among themselves, as well as having had other teachers come to share how they work on being inclusive in the classroom.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur school division has a policy and it was updated in June 2018 for diversity and equity,\u201d said Morris. \u201cWith all the research that our school division has been doing, I\u2019d be surprised if other school divisions weren\u2019t doing the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

Morris has received many phone calls from other principals asking for suggestions, and she works with parents to identify any needs, such as the need for a gender-neutral bathroom, which the school now has.<\/p>\n

Even though full-time staff has been educated on the topic, part-time or causal staff also need to be informed about the proper way for teachers to speak at the school, including the use of gender-neutral language.<\/p>\n

Naomi Finkelstein, a retired teacher and the mother of a trans child, was also on the event panel. Finkelstein was dealing with the situation 13 years ago and recalled having tried to find proper supports, which were lacking. She started a support group with another parent, called Parents Family Friends of Transgender Individuals (PFFOTI).<\/p>\n

\u201cI had a daughter and, when she was about 20 and a half, she came out and shared that she was transgender,\u201d said Finkelstein. \u201cI knew that this was something I was going to have to get support for, so I went to the Rainbow Resource Centre.\u201d<\/p>\n

PFFOTI started out with the two founding members and is now providing support to 170 parents. \u201cOf course, that many do not come to all the meetings and, really, what happens is people kind of grandfather out. Their children are older now, they\u2019ve made their transitions … maybe some have had surgery and they don\u2019t feel the need to attend anymore. We\u2019re always getting new people,\u201d said Finkelstein.<\/p>\n

\u201cOur group is specifically for parents,\u201d she continued, \u201cbecause there are some parents who have just found out and they need the support. And there are always Kleenex boxes on the table. For some parents, it is a real shock.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was shocked, too, but I did my crying at home in the shower, which was really very good. There was something, I don\u2019t know why, it was almost like being in a womb, feeling protected in there\u2026. We want the parents to be able to share their fears and concerns; you can\u2019t do that if a child is there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Over the years, Finkelstein has developed a list of do\u2019s and don\u2019ts for parents who suspect that their child might be trans.<\/p>\n

The do\u2019s list includes respecting your child\u2019s identity and following your child\u2019s lead and listening to them about what trans is all about. Each child is different and there\u2019s no right way to be trans. As Finkelstein pointed out, \u201csome go on hormones, some don\u2019t, and some just dress in what they consider the gender\u2019s clothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

The list encourages parents and others to learn about the difference between sex and gender \u2013 gender is a social construction, whereas sex is biological.<\/p>\n

PFFOTI advises parents to start by helping and educating themselves so they can better help their child. \u201cThis involves reading and coming to support groups,\u201d said Finkelstein. \u201cAnd parents need to take into account if there are other siblings. There can be issues for the other siblings, and they need to be educated, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

If the children are minors, parents need to take the lead in setting up doctors\u2019 appointments, buying appropriate clothing, getting haircuts, etc.<\/p>\n

\u201cTruly, the key to success is offering the kids your unconditional support,\u201d said Finkelstein. \u201cOne of the support groups online, their motto was, \u2018Fake it until you make it.\u2019 But, we also talk about what parents need to do within the school system and that they need to advocate for their children. Although the human rights law says that they have rights, not all school divisions are on board. Winnipeg [School Division] 1 is totally on board and they have a process. We need parents to take part in the process and get the school to take part in the process.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd a critical thing is bathroom talk,\u201d she said. \u201cYou have to talk to your child before you go to the administration, so you\u2019re both on the same page as to what the child wants to do. Some schools now have non-gender-specific bathrooms, which is great. I wish every school would have one.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then they have to talk to the administration about what their rights are. They should know those rights before they go in.\u201d<\/p>\n

Setting up a safe person at the school, with the help of administration, who the child can go to, someone who affirms their identity, if they are having problems, is also important, as is talking about the school\u2019s anti-bullying policy and how that is handled.<\/p>\n

\u201cPast the age of 12 and up, you\u2019re also dealing with all these hormones that rage through the child\u2019s body,\u201d said Finkelstein. \u201cSo, some kids are going to have to get on blockers to prevent their periods and their breasts from developing, and stuff like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Parents and others must understand that a child\u2019s identification as trans is not likely a passing phase. Although some children identify as trans and later change their mind, that is uncommon. So, do your best to avoid calling your child by their previous name, said Finkelstein.<\/p>\n

Parents \u201creally have to make an effort not to misgender,\u201d she said. \u201cMisgendering kind of denies their existence as a person, and that\u2019s a big negative. But, as a parent, if you screw up, you just apologize. I think kids are very understanding about that. As long as you don\u2019t deliberately misgender a child, they are open to the fact that, you\u2019ve had them for 13, or 18, or 20 years, and, yeah, that other name is going to come out. It takes you awhile to reformat.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another PFFOTI recommendation is to never out your child \u2013 let them do it when they are ready.<\/p>\n

\u201cStatistics have proven that, [even] with children who are trans who get support from their parents and their family … four percent commit suicide,\u201d said Finkelstein. \u201cThe statistics are much higher \u2013 about 45% \u2013 for those who do not get support. This past summer, we lost four kids (three in Winnipeg and one who had moved to Vancouver).\u201d<\/p>\n

Finkelstein regularly checks in with her son to talk about his mental health and to assure him she accepts him as he is.<\/p>\n

Rebeca Kuropatwa<\/strong> is a Winnipeg freelance writer.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ara Morris, principal of Brock Corydon School, left, and Naomi Finkelstein, co-founder of Parents Family Friends of Transgender Individuals. (photo from Morris and Finkelstein) The Winnipeg School Division recently assembled a panel to discuss ways to best support trans and gender diverse children and youth, especially in school settings. Ara Morris, principal of Brock Corydon […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":34428,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[9754,9755,3076,6366,2864,9756,9757,7579,9758,9759,3551,5307,4048,3753],"class_list":["post-34427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-national","tag-ara-morris","tag-brock-corydon-school","tag-education","tag-gender","tag-health","tag-lgbtq2s","tag-naomi-finkelstein","tag-parenting","tag-parents-family-friends-of-transgender-individuals","tag-pffoti","tag-sex","tag-transgender","tag-winnipeg","tag-youth"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34427","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34427"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34427\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34427"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34427"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34427"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}