I just realized that, lately, I had unconsciously changed the way I say goodbye, particularly when I am speaking with women. As a younger person, it wouldn\u2019t have occurred to me to say \u201cTake care!\u201d when parting with people. What\u2019s more? It\u2019s happening even when I have casual interactions. I started thinking about where my new-to-me phrase comes from and where I\u2019d heard it before.<\/p>\n
I was out walking my dogs when one of them (the young, spry Setter mix) kicked me in the shin. I looked down, in pain, when I saw that she, too, was surprised. She\u2019d slipped on the slick sidewalk and certainly hadn\u2019t meant to hurt me. A man at the bus stop remarked how icy it was, and I agreed. I said, \u201cTake care!\u201d<\/p>\n
Later, my household was in bed when we heard an ominous thump outside. My husband made a joke, we laughed and went to sleep. In the morning, I saw a thoroughly smashed car, its front end bashed in. It faced the wrong way on a busy street near our home. Across the intersection, there was a truck, also facing the wrong direction, somehow wedged into someone\u2019s yard. It was slippery, indeed.<\/p>\n
Often the habit of suggesting people take care is aligned with another statement though, something like, \u201cThings are more dangerous these days.\u201d However, our Torah readings from this time of year, in Genesis, remind us that things have always been dicey out there, particularly for women and for those in positions of less power in society.<\/p>\n
For instance, when the three strangers tell Abraham that Sarah will have Isaac, she laughs (Genesis 18:12-15). However, this is quickly followed by Abraham\u2019s question about why she laughed and she says, \u201cI didn\u2019t laugh.\u201d Why? \u201cBecause she was frightened.\u201d Why did she lie? Well, she was an old woman. Strangers told her something ridiculous and then she was asked to take it seriously. She was afraid. Sarah wouldn\u2019t be the first or last woman to feel threatened and unsafe. If something like this situation happened today, I wouldn\u2019t leave until I\u2019d said, \u201cTake care.\u201d<\/p>\n
Not much further along in Genesis, Abraham bargains with G-d, asking how many people in Sodom have to be righteous for G-d to save the city. Abraham has some power here. He feels emboldened to speak out, but he also gets to stay home rather than go to Sodom to try and fix things. Instead, two angels go to Sodom.<\/p>\n
Lot takes the angels in as his guests, but when a crowd gathers to do the visitors harm, Lot suggests an unsettling exchange. He says that, rather than let the crowd \u201cbe intimate with them,\u201d he\u2019ll send out his two young daughters instead. He will sacrifice his daughters to be violated by the crowd (Genesis 19:8) rather than let his male guests be endangered.<\/p>\n
Reading Genesis, I am reminded by how these dangerous situations, and particularly ones that threaten women, are not at all new. These are issues of power, control and sexuality. In a modern political comparison: we act as though the MMIWG (missing and murdered indigenous women and girls) report and its findings are new or different. In fact, violence against women, and specifically minority women in vulnerable situations, is a bad news story played on repeat. These threats are close to home, and they remain frightening.<\/p>\n
When I hear myself telling a friend \u2013 a single mom whose father just died \u2013 to take care, I realize who I am echoing in my head. I hear older African-American women in my Virginia neighbourhood saying goodbye to me: \u201cYou take care now, y\u2019hear?\u201d I hear my mom sighing as she hung up the phone (it was avocado green, with a long cord so she could cook while talking) at home when I was younger. She said goodbye with a worried expression that her friend couldn\u2019t see, saying \u201cBye! Take care.\u201d<\/p>\n
This is the closing comment of women, all over, who know that the world can be dangerous. We\u2019re sending out our concern to those we love. We\u2019re acknowledging that, sometimes, we must depend solely on ourselves, because it doesn\u2019t look like anyone (including G-d) is stepping up to keep us safe.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, Bereishit<\/em> (Genesis) offers stories to dig into. I enjoy their meaty narrative. I love interpreting what it all means. Other sections cause me to sigh just as my mom did. In a world where women still don\u2019t have any assurance of safety from war, crowds and violence, and where those who have less power are at the mercy of the powerful, it\u2019s hard not to feel sadness. How little things change.<\/p>\n This also is a continuing opportunity for social justice. We can fight for a better place for everyone. We can seek out and care for those around us, rather than choosing to discriminate or discard lives, as Lot would have done to his daughters. In the meanwhile, I\u2019m often slipping down the icy street, worrying and wondering over how I can spread a sukkat shalom (a shelter of peace) over those I love and care for. So, I\u2019ll say what many wise women have said before me. You take care now, y\u2019hear?<\/p>\n Joanne Seiff<\/strong> has written regularly for CBC Manitoba and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including <\/em>From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. Check her out on Instagram @yrnspinner<\/a> or at joanneseiff.blogspot.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I just realized that, lately, I had unconsciously changed the way I say goodbye, particularly when I am speaking with women. As a younger person, it wouldn\u2019t have occurred to me to say \u201cTake care!\u201d when parting with people. What\u2019s more? It\u2019s happening even when I have casual interactions. I started thinking about where my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[7772,5737,9506,2243,218,2172,3021],"class_list":["post-33763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-op-ed","tag-metoo","tag-abuse","tag-genesis","tag-harassment","tag-judaism","tag-torah","tag-women"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33763","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33763"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33763\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33763"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33763"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33763"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}