{"id":31919,"date":"2019-02-22T03:55:59","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T11:55:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/?p=31919"},"modified":"2019-02-21T13:45:32","modified_gmt":"2019-02-21T21:45:32","slug":"building-an-epic-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/2019\/02\/22\/building-an-epic-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Building an epic relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sam Laliberte and Jared Schachter share what they\u2019ve learned about long-distance relationships in The #LDR Activity Book<\/em>.\u00a0<\/strong>(photo by Ricky Pang \/ Sincerely Image)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The first quote in The #LDR Activity Book<\/em> is from American writer Meghan Daum: \u201cDistance is not for the fearful, it\u2019s for the bold\u2026. It\u2019s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don\u2019t see it enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sam Laliberte and Jared Schachter, co-writers of the activity book for people in, or contemplating, a long-distance relationship (LDR) knew a good thing when they saw it, and didn\u2019t let Schachter\u2019s move from Toronto to San Francisco get in the way.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor two years,\u201d they write in The #LDR<\/em>, \u201cwe were long-distance loves, capturing our visits on Instagram and maxing out our data plans during weekly video calls. We picked up many lessons (most learned the hard way) and fun activities to keep our relationship strong AF despite living three time zones apart. It definitely took work, epic relationships don\u2019t just happen<\/em>, but we made it through and now we want to share our learnings with the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

In an email interview with the Independent<\/em>, Laliberte and Schachter said they \u201calways wanted the book to be interactive and fun for couples, since long, text-heavy books can be daunting and would be less conducive to creating positive interactions between couples.\u201d<\/p>\n

The #LDR Activity Book<\/em> has eight chapters covering topics at the core of any relationship, even with yourself: understanding your personality, how you like to give and receive love, your values, what triggers you, envisioning the future, and more. Each chapter begins with an explanation of why the topic \u2013 expressing love, communication, IRL (in real life) visits, keeping the spark alive, values, trust, conflict resolution and planning \u2013 matters, followed by some \u201cbest practices\u201d: assuming good intent, for example, giving \u201cyour partner the benefit of the doubt and operat[ing] under the impression that they\u2019re trying their best.\u201d Laliberte and Schachter then share a few tips of what worked best for them and, of course, there are several activities, some of which you complete on your own; others, with your partner.<\/p>\n

Laliberte and Schachter wrote this book with Schachter\u2019s mother, Beverley Kort, who is a registered psychologist in Vancouver, with more than 40 years\u2019 experience counseling couples. They also interviewed dozens of other couples \u201cwho survived and thrived as long-distance lovers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn top of all this,\u201d they told the Independent<\/em>, \u201cwe were also honest about the fact that our long-distance relationship didn\u2019t work out. We too were scared of the associated stigma and didn\u2019t have any resource to turn to, to help alleviate some of our concerns. The ability to create something for other couples [in a long-distance relationship] was really exciting for us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"photo<\/a>
The #LDR Activity Book takes couples through various activities.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Laliberte and Schachter are still together, though, just closer geographically.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been in a relationship for almost three years now,\u201d they said. \u201cWe spent one-and-a-half years in a full long-distance relationship (Toronto-San Francisco) and, now, because we have flexible jobs, we spend a majority, but definitely not all, of our time together. We were separated for two months at the end of 2018 but are now on an extended travel together in South America for four months.\u201d<\/p>\n

Feedback about the book \u2013 which Laliberte and Schachter encourage readers to share \u2013 has been very positive, they said, giving a couple of examples. Thessa (New York) and Anthony (Dublin) wrote about The #LDR<\/em>, \u201cAbsolutely love it. The quality is great, the art and quotes in the book are gorgeous, and information in the book is spot on.\u201d Sara (Los Angeles) and Charles (Toronto) emailed, \u201c#LDR<\/em> was a fun way to build our relationship after knowing each other for only a week! We met at a music festival and spent the next year living on different coasts and time zones, and used this book to provide a framework for exploring our new relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n

A longtime long-distance couple with whom the JI<\/em> shared the book completed several sections, some that reinforced what they were already doing \u2013 daily rituals (regular texts and phone calls) and planning out IRL visits, for example \u2013 and some that either introduced new ideas or suggested activities they wanted to do more often, such as creating a joint vision board and talking about important moments during texts and calls, respectively.<\/p>\n

To fund the publication of The #LDR Activity Book<\/em>, Laliberte and Schachter ran a Kickstarter campaign. Seeking $6,000, they received contributions of more than $10,000 from almost 200 backers, with their initial funding goal being covered in less than 24 hours. The result is a smart-looking, durable, 63-page, full-colour, hardcover (with metal corners), spiral-bound \u201cscrapbook.\u201d More importantly, it is a book full of good advice and beneficial activities and exercises, if you (and your partner) are willing to be open and put in the time. And the learning continues online.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve also now partnered with a sexologist to create a bonus chapter on \u2018Sex from a Distance,\u2019 after a number of readers began asking more detailed questions about this area,\u201d Laliberte and Schachter told the Independent<\/em>. \u201cIt is available for free download if you signup for our email newsletter on our website.\u201d<\/p>\n

The #LDR Activity Book<\/em> is for sale on ldractivities.com<\/a> for $35 per copy, or $60 for a set of two. Laliberte and Schachter have created a special discount code for Jewish Independent<\/em> readers: use JINDEPENDENT20 to receive 20% off<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

***<\/strong><\/p>\n

On Feb. 17, Sam Laliberte and Jared Schachter were interviewed on the podcast <\/em>From Long Distance to Marriage. The episode can be found on audioboom.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sam Laliberte and Jared Schachter share what they\u2019ve learned about long-distance relationships in The #LDR Activity Book.\u00a0(photo by Ricky Pang \/ Sincerely Image) The first quote in The #LDR Activity Book is from American writer Meghan Daum: \u201cDistance is not for the fearful, it\u2019s for the bold\u2026. It\u2019s for those knowing a good thing when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":31920,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[784],"tags":[8726,3429,8725,8302,8727,6277,8724],"class_list":["post-31919","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","tag-beverley-kort","tag-family","tag-jared-schachter","tag-lifestyle","tag-psychology","tag-relationships","tag-sam-laliberte"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31919","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31919"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31919\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31919"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31919"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31919"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}