I recently heard some difficult news. A good\nfriend of mine from university has been diagnosed with a serious form of\ncancer. Over time, we\u2019d moved, had children and fallen out of touch, but I was\nable to reach her quickly. She is well enough for emailing, and we\u2019ve fallen\nright back into the dear friendship we had 20-some years ago. Some of her more\nrecent pathology reports are slightly more hopeful. Even so, it\u2019s a very\nserious diagnosis and she\u2019s in her mid-forties with kids in elementary school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During university, this friend and I were part of\na trio of busy young women. Often the only time we could spend together was\nbreakfast. We\u2019d have bagels and coffee at a sunny warm spot, the Ithaca Bakery.\nThe snow was piled high outside and the windows were steamed with humidity as\nwe laughed and complained together. It was the third friend who told me about\nthe brain cancer. She and I each, within moments, had come up with medical\nresources for our dear friend. We felt lucky to be able to say, \u201cI know\nsomething about this,\u201d or \u201cI know someone if you need medical information or\nanother opinion.\u201d We wanted to support her from far away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was reminded of this when looking at the\nTorah portion Yitro (Exodus 18:1-20:23), which starts out with a story about\nJethro, Zipporah\u2019s father, and Moses. Jethro is Moses\u2019 father-in-law. When\nMoses tells him how the Israelites have escaped Egypt and what has happened,\nJethro responds in Exodus 18:9: \u201cAnd Jethro rejoiced over all the kindness that\nthe Lord had shown Israel when He delivered them from the Egyptians.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rashi responds to this by saying that Jethro\nrejoicing is the literal meaning, but that Sanhedrin 94A (a talmudic midrash)\nsuggests that Jethro\u2019s skin prickled, or crept with horror. He felt upset about\nEgypt\u2019s destruction. Rashi explains further that \u201cpeople say\u201d that one should\nnot speak negatively about non-Jews in front of someone who has converted to\nJudaism, even if the family converted 10 generations ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jethro is called a Midianite priest, and is\nconsidered a \u201cnon-Hebrew.\u201d The Druze consider Jethro an important prophet and\nancestor. No matter \u2013 Moses was close with him, and married his daughter. This\ntext and the commentary is laden with meaning. Just on its surface: Jethro\ncelebrates and is grateful that his daughter and son-in-law and the Israelites have\ncome through a terrible experience. Yet further still, the midrash explains\nthat Jethro knew the ramifications of the experience. Egyptians suffered and\nwere destroyed to bring about this event. Finally, there are valued connections\nbetween people. It doesn\u2019t matter where you come from \u2013 we shouldn\u2019t cause\ndistress to those we love, if at all possible, even if they aren\u2019t part of our\n\u201cin-group.\u201d Things in life are complex. We should celebrate and be grateful,\nbut not cause further harm, either. Jethro intertwines these concepts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jethro goes on to help Moses learn to delegate\nand do \u201cleadership development.\u201d He encourages Moses to rely on the Israelites\nto lead and take care of one another, as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What does this have to do with hearing of my\nfriend\u2019s terrible illness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a wake-up call and a reminder to be\nthankful, as Jethro was, and celebrate what we have \u2013 we can\u2019t take our health\nfor granted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The good news is I am back in touch with\nsomeone I care about. It\u2019s also an opportunity to look at how a third friend\ntold me this news, and that my friend with cancer has a rich community to lean\non. She can delegate, too, regarding communication, help with her family, and\nmaybe even finding medical advice and explanations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s also a reminder that we\u2019re all connected,\nregardless of religion. As Rashi shows us, treating people with care extends\nbeyond the team with which you daven<\/em> (pray).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, smart people realize that real-life\nsituations are complicated. It\u2019s simplistic to have a one-size-fits-all approach\nto nationalism, for example. Moses supported and shepherded the Israelites, but\nhe also cared deeply about people who were not, strictly speaking, part of his\ncrowd. Yes, we\u2019re Jewish, but we often love people who aren\u2019t, and that is part\nof our tradition, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We\u2019re lucky to have a tradition that values\ncomplication. As Jews, we face a lot of complex concepts in the world, whether\nit\u2019s our own personal observances or how we apply those values to the world at\nlarge. We could choose a simplistic response, such as a tirade or blanket\nobjection to a view different than our own. Many people do this \u2013 face it, it\u2019s\neasier. Or, we could acknowledge the complexity of our choices instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jethro wasn\u2019t Jewish, and he wasn\u2019t a one-issue\nguy. He could celebrate and express gratitude while wrestling with other\nfeelings: concern, loss, sadness and worry. I hope to be like Jethro and do the\nsame. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Joanne Seiff<\/strong> has written regularly for CBC Manitoba and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including <\/em>From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. See more about her at joanneseiff.blogspot.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I recently heard some difficult news. A good friend of mine from university has been diagnosed with a serious form of cancer. Over time, we\u2019d moved, had children and fallen out of touch, but I was able to reach her quickly. She is well enough for emailing, and we\u2019ve fallen right back into the dear […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[5260,218,8302],"class_list":["post-31751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-op-ed","tag-interfaith","tag-judaism","tag-lifestyle"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31751"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31751\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}