Families sometimes just have a bad run when it comes to health in the household. From December onwards, it seems like somebody has been sick at our house \u2026 but, in between, there were brief periods when most of us functioned OK. It\u2019s been challenging.<\/p>\n
Like many folks, I\u2019m also signed up for an exercise class, but I have had to miss it a lot because of all these illnesses. I\u2019m usually game for a long walk with the dog, but not a big fan of exercise \u2013 I do it because I should. We need regular exercise to strengthen and care for the body. However, when a kid is home sick, or I am, I have to skip that class, too. Exercising is, in the long run, good for me, but, in the short term, there are days when I just have to sit on the couch.<\/p>\n
Figuring out how to care for our bodies is a balancing act. On the one hand, sometimes things hurt, but, on the other, there\u2019s no one else inside each of our bodies, telling us what to do about it.<\/p>\n
Some people have a high pain tolerance and, more, we\u2019ve been taught to \u201cwalk it off,\u201d \u201csuck it up\u201d or cope with what comes without complaining. Is this choice, to learn to cope with discomfort without complaint, a Jewish thing?<\/p>\n
Some might say it is the opposite. If you read the Torah portions about the Exodus from Egypt, you get multiple examples of when the Israelites complained. They wanted meat. They wanted water. They wanted better food. In Numbers 20:5, it says, \u201cWhy did you make us leave Egypt to bring us to this wretched place, a place with no grain or figs or vines or pomegranates? There is not even water to drink!\u201d<\/p>\n
On more than one occasion, G-d does provide for the Israelites, but there\u2019s also punishment. People get sick, or are bitten by serpents. Complaining isn\u2019t rewarded. It might be natural for some to complain of their lot \u2013 even the most strong among us need to let out our frustrations after awhile. However, some of us were taught that complaining too much isn\u2019t OK; that, unless you\u2019re dying, you need to get on with things, and save the cries of pain and complaints for when something actually really matters.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, if you hold the pain in and don\u2019t act like you\u2019re dying, sometimes you don\u2019t get taken care of promptly. In some cases, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Also, if you\u2019re not a big complainer, people may forget that there might be anything wrong, though being stoic, understated and self-controlled can make life less complicated, too.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d like to say that folks remembered that some in our family weren\u2019t 100% healthy, but that wasn\u2019t always the case. Sometimes I felt a lot of pressure for us to be joiners and attempt something that I knew just wouldn\u2019t work out \u2013 as I recovered from pneumonia, for instance. I\u2019d have to say things like, \u201cWell, we\u2019re really not up to that, but thanks for inviting us.\u201d I feel like maybe we\u2019ve missed out, but good health is really important. It has to come first.<\/p>\n
Jewish tradition teaches us that the body is a temple. We have to take care of it. We wish people \u201crefuah shlemah<\/em>,\u201d or \u201ccomplete healing.\u201d We say \u201cla bruit\u201d (\u201cto your health<\/em>\u201d) when someone sneezes. Midrash teaches us that we wish health to someone when they sneeze because, in the past, some saw sneezing as dangerous and deadly \u2013 the soul could leave through the nostrils. It\u2019s a mitzvah<\/em> (commandment) to do bikur cholim<\/em> (visiting the sick), and many congregations have committees in place to make food and visit those who are unwell.<\/p>\n We have contradictions here. In our oldest stories, there are complainers and punishments for complaining. In our ritual traditions, we wish people health, help them get well, and have an obligation to take care of others and visit them. We\u2019re also not to abandon those who are sick \u2013 when Miriam got sick, the Israelites waited for her to get well before traveling on. Yet, we\u2019re also part of a 24\/7, on-the-go culture. It\u2019s hard to reconcile the need for good, old-fashioned rest with our modern lives, but both are necessary. When it hurts, it\u2019s OK to say so, within reason, and to expect others to care and wish you better health.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a funny story of \u201cit hurts.\u201d While I was in labour with my twins, another expectant mother came in. She came with two people (family members? friends?) and made a lot of noise. It turned out that, when the people with her had to leave the room, she stopped making noise. It felt like we were listening to a performance! This lady felt that part of delivering the baby required making noise about it \u2013 and we all heard it, on cue.<\/p>\n It\u2019s traditional to be supportive of someone in their time of discomfort \u2013 to support and help \u2013 but perhaps Hashem would prefer it if we saved the hysterical screaming for when it really hurts rather than just for when someone can hear us. Complaining for its own sake, it would seem, warrants punishment but, when it really hurts, we\u2019re commanded to visit, bring food and help.<\/p>\n Sickness happens to the best of us, and it sure isn\u2019t fair. But, there\u2019s no point in making it worse for everyone by screaming louder than anyone else.<\/p>\n Joanne Seiff<\/strong> writes regularly for CBC Manitoba and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including <\/em>From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. See more about her at joanneseiff.blogspot.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Families sometimes just have a bad run when it comes to health in the household. From December onwards, it seems like somebody has been sick at our house \u2026 but, in between, there were brief periods when most of us functioned OK. It\u2019s been challenging. Like many folks, I\u2019m also signed up for an exercise […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[2864,218],"class_list":["post-29784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-op-ed","tag-health","tag-judaism"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29784","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29784"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29784\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29784"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29784"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}