Rabbi Deborah Waxman, PhD, president of Reconstructionist Judaism, recently released a statement about rebranding. Instead of calling the rabbinical college and umbrella congregational movement the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College and Jewish Reconstructionist Communities, the header now is \u201cReconstructing Judaism.\u201d The tag line below it reads, \u201cDeeply rooted. Boldly relevant.\u201d<\/p>\n
Why do this? Well, in Rabbi Waxman\u2019s statement, this sentence jumped out: \u201cA critical path forward is shifting from a focus on \u2018being\u2019 Jewish \u2013 important but insufficient for providing substance and structure \u2013 to a focus on \u2018doing\u2019 Jewish.\u201d<\/p>\n
This is of central importance as we reshape 21st-century Jewish life. If you\u2019re modifying Jewish by saying Reconstructionist, or Reform, Orthodox, Conservative, etc., you define your Jewish identity as a state of being. That is, \u201cthis is who I am.\u201d It is akin to saying \u201cI have brown eyes\u201d or \u201cI have freckles.\u201d<\/p>\n
However, in an era when people aren\u2019t participating in group or congregational activities as often, it\u2019s useful to go back to our tradition itself. We practise Judaism. Judaism doesn\u2019t rely on a theological belief system as do some evangelical Christians. Or, as my husband jokes, when somebody needs a 10th body for a minyan, no one asks what you believe. There\u2019s no extended questioning or exam. In that moment, we\u2019re defined by what we do \u2013 the person showed up when needed, ready to \u201cdo Jewish\u201d in a Jewish space.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re wondering why anyone should care about this, it\u2019s because Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founding thinker of Reconstructionism, significantly affected North American Judaism as a whole. His concept of Jewish peoplehood affected every form of 20th- and 21st-century Judaism. Kaplan, while raised Orthodox, was a professor at the Jewish Theological Seminary (Conservative movement) until he retired. His son-in-law founded the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College. So, even if you don\u2019t consider yourself a Reconstructionist, many aspects of how North American Jews understand their belonging to the Jewish people stem from Kaplan\u2019s mid-20th century work, which was conceived of as \u201cradical\u201d at the time.<\/p>\n
Around the same time that I read about rebranding Judaism, I had a strange \u201cblast\u201d from the past. I was contacted by someone who had once been a dear close friend. How close? I\u2019d lived with her for a year on a kibbutz in Israel. I ate dinner with her the night I got engaged. She stood up for me under the chuppah at my wedding \u2013 we were friends for 15 years. We often saw each other on a weekly basis, if not more often. This person was an essential part of my life.<\/p>\n
As an aside, I\u2019ll stop to say it\u2019s just not in my nature to ditch a longtime friend or, as some say, ghosting. I wouldn\u2019t disappear or ignore someone on purpose. I take to heart the part of Pirkei Avot<\/em> (Sayings of Our Fathers) 1:6 \u2013 \u201cFind yourself a mentor, acquire for yourself a friend.\u201d While learning opportunities are a lifelong interest, I also understood the rabbis\u2019 interpretation of \u201cacquiring\u201d a friend. You have to invest and work on friendship. It takes time and effort. You have to show interest and concern about friends, and try to \u201cpay them\u201d that attention so that they will like you back.<\/p>\n What happened with my dear friend? In 2003, she was going through some life changes, as was I. We had a disagreement. Instead of discussing it and resolving things, or even fighting, she just dumped me. She wouldn\u2019t respond to me at all. For many years, it tore me apart. I missed her terribly, but, what\u2019s more, I felt as though if I\u2019d just done something differently or been a better friend, this wouldn\u2019t have happened.<\/p>\n I sought her forgiveness several times. I tried to contact her on holidays and wish her well. I even emailed her brother to make sure she was healthy and OK, because the absolute silence and rejection seemed so unlike the previous 15 years of our friendship. In short, I tried hard to be her friend, to invest in repairing any wrongs, long after she\u2019d left the partnership.<\/p>\n This was a painful life lesson. I eventually learned that no matter how hard I tried to fix things, friendships take two people. I couldn\u2019t do it on my own.<\/p>\n At first, I was thrilled to hear from this person again. I showed my husband the note I\u2019d received, and I responded eagerly. My husband was more dispassionate and worried about me. He showed me something I\u2019d overlooked. While clearly she\u2019d laboured over the note\u2019s wording, it didn\u2019t look like it was personally sent to me. It might have been sent to multiple people she\u2019d wronged over the years. While a group teshuvah<\/em> (apology) is sometimes necessary, it\u2019s not the personal reconnection and friendship I\u2019d craved.<\/p>\n My old friend is professionally affiliated with Jewish Reconstructionism. The rebranding of Reconstructing Judaism pushed me to reflect. One of her online statements says she embraces rachamim<\/em> (compassion), gemilut hasadim<\/em> (acts of lovingkindness) and ethical living \u2013 but there\u2019s sometimes a distance between what we \u201cbelieve in\u201d and what we do. I\u2019m impressed that Reconstructing Judaism has taken a strong, active step. They\u2019re doing Jewish in an era when North America Judaism needs this leadership.<\/p>\n Corporations rebrand all the time. It boosts sales and changes their public images. It might be time that Judaism does the same. As for me, I\u2019ve had an internal emotional rollercoaster \u2013 the loss of a long friendship perhaps made me a more cautious, distant person when it came to building new connections. I don\u2019t throw myself into friendships with the joie de vivre that I did as a teenager. In my rush to respond, my note to this old friend was still wary, with clich\u00e9s. \u201cLife is long. It\u2019s good to have friends.\u201d<\/p>\n Relearning this Jewish notion of acquiring friendship helped me put this episode in perspective. I wish I\u2019d included it in my note. Could we learn together, invest in each other, do right by people, and create a rooted and relevant future? If that\u2019s what she\u2019s up for, I hope she writes back.<\/p>\n Joanne Seiff <\/strong>writes regularly for CBC Manitoba and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including <\/em>From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. See more about her at joanneseiff.blogspot.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Rabbi Deborah Waxman, PhD, president of Reconstructionist Judaism, recently released a statement about rebranding. Instead of calling the rabbinical college and umbrella congregational movement the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College and Jewish Reconstructionist Communities, the header now is \u201cReconstructing Judaism.\u201d The tag line below it reads, \u201cDeeply rooted. Boldly relevant.\u201d Why do this? 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