{"id":27904,"date":"2018-02-23T03:48:23","date_gmt":"2018-02-23T11:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/?p=27904"},"modified":"2018-02-21T13:59:32","modified_gmt":"2018-02-21T21:59:32","slug":"mothers-embrace-mamatefet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/2018\/02\/23\/mothers-embrace-mamatefet\/","title":{"rendered":"Mothers embrace Mamatefet"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mamatefet\u2019s first Mom and Babe Circle. (photo from Mamatefet)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Meirav Galili and her husband Itai moved to Vancouver with their two children from Israel five years ago. When their third child was born here, the family received lots of support from friends, something that helped make up for the fact that they have no extended family here.<\/p>\n

When she heard about a plan to create a network of Israeli moms and moms-to-be, she was one of the first to sign up with Mamatefet.<\/p>\n

Mamatefet, which has grown exponentially almost exclusively through word of mouth, is a mash-up of \u201cmama\u201d with the Hebrew word \u201cmaatefet<\/em>,\u201d which is a wraparound or embrace. The group welcomes those who want to be an otefet<\/em>, an embracer, or a ne\u2019etefe<\/em>t, an embracee. Except, the terms are not mutually exclusive.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes it\u2019s our turn to give and sometimes it\u2019s our turn to get some help,\u201d said Galili, adding that the success of the group surprised all involved.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was amazing because many, many people said, \u2018me, me, me, me, me,\u2019 and quickly we established something,\u201d she said. Understanding the added burden of having and raising children without parents, aunts, sisters-in-law or other family around inspired many women to step forward.<\/p>\n

Thanks to Mamatefet, one phone call or a WhatsApp message can put a team into action.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe woman doesn\u2019t need to ask even,\u201d Galili said. \u201cEverything is being done for her. She just needs to tell a friend, \u2018My child is sick with me\u2019 or \u2018I have to stay at the hospital for tonight,\u2019 and we\u2019ll take it from there, and when they get home they have everything. It\u2019s a very strong, warm feeling that we are not alone and we have this supportiveness.\u201d<\/p>\n

That is exactly what Rotem Regev had in mind when she and four friends conceived of Mamatefet in late 2016.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was one of those nights,\u201d Regev recalled, \u201ca few friends got together sitting around the coffee table chatting, recounting their individual \u2013 which we then realized were quite collective \u2013 stories of transition, to Vancouver, to motherhood, and how that intersected. What became really crystal clear to all of us is that we were feeling quite a bit of loneliness at that time, whenever that transition was, coming to Vancouver either pregnant or with a very little one, when there is not a school yet or any sort of structure to fit into…. To top that off, you would also be facing an extra challenge being away from your family and friends in a country that doesn\u2019t yet quite feel like home and a language that doesn\u2019t quite feel like home and a healthcare system that feels very, very different.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t want any woman to feel the loneliness that we felt,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\"photo<\/a>
Mamatefet offers moms like Osher Cohen support, including the occasional homemade meal, and friendship. (photo by Lior Noyman)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When they decided to share their idea, they thought maybe five more women would join, perhaps seven. A few months later, they had 70 embracers and more than 40 embracees.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe word spread out like wildfire really, because I think the need was so great,\u201d said Regev, who is a clinical psychologist. There are a couple of similar groups in Israel and something sort of like Mamatefet in San Francisco and another in New Jersey, but, considering the evident need, it is a surprisingly rare initiative.<\/p>\n

Regev and her Mamatefet co-founders Tamara Halamish, Yael Pilo Raz, Yael Mayer and Matti Feigelstock, have now seen their project expand from Vancouver to teams in Richmond, Ladner, Surrey, North Vancouver and East Vancouver-Burnaby, with a new team gearing up in Langley and the Tri-Cities.<\/p>\n

In general, Mamatefet volunteers will deliver food, often including a Shabbat meal. There are regular meet-up groups for pregnant women and another for new moms. They are also on call in case of a crisis, like a miscarriage or a stillbirth.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s the informal friendships that organically develop that are as important, said Marina Ingel. Being able to arrange play dates, exchange kids\u2019 clothes, have a coffee with other new moms \u2013 this is an important outcome too, she said.<\/p>\n

One of the reassuring things is talking to other moms about how the medical system in Canada differs from that in Israel.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere it\u2019s totally different. Everything,\u201d said Ingel. \u201cIn Israel, every time you\u2019re going to the doctor, you\u2019re doing an ultrasound. Here, you have maybe two the whole pregnancy. A bunch of things that they\u2019re checking in Israel, they\u2019re not doing this at all. But then you realize it\u2019s fine and, if you have any problem, they will check it. Everything is OK, but the thing is that you\u2019re worried about it, because it\u2019s new to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

For Galili, cooking is both a hobby and a way to support other new moms.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey send a message saying there is a woman who is about to come home with a baby and [asking] who is willing to participate,\u201d she said. \u201cI thought, OK, I need to prepare something anyway so I\u2019ll just prepare something extra.\u201d<\/p>\n

Baking, homemade granola and yogurt, soups and a main dish, comfort food like chicken and rice, are the sorts of things she preps for new moms.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf her mother were here, this is what she would probably make for her,\u201d said Galili.<\/p>\n

Mamatefet can be reached via facebook.com\/mamatefet<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mamatefet\u2019s first Mom and Babe Circle. (photo from Mamatefet) Meirav Galili and her husband Itai moved to Vancouver with their two children from Israel five years ago. When their third child was born here, the family received lots of support from friends, something that helped make up for the fact that they have no extended […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":27905,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[7872,5864,7871,7873,1742,3021],"class_list":["post-27904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local","tag-childcare","tag-children","tag-mamatefet","tag-rotem-regev","tag-vancouver","tag-women"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27904","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27904"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27904\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}