If you see me in the grocery store and I don\u2019t recognize you, I\u2019m sorry. I sometimes have a hard time remembering names and faces. Why? Well, it turns out that sleep deprivation can affect this kind of memory. Even though my kids sleep better now, for four-and-a-half years, they didn\u2019t get through the night. Parents who have gone through this may know what I\u2019m talking about. It\u2019s embarrassing and depressing to feel like I\u2019m losing my mind, but it\u2019s lack of sleep! It\u2019s not anything serious; just part of many families\u2019 lives with young kids.<\/p>\n
While I\u2019m bemoaning this \u2013 I used to keep track of hundreds of students when I taught full-time \u2013 I can let you in on a little secret. Newsflash: we\u2019re not perfect. Yup! Shocking, I know. We all have faults, challenges, difficulties and struggles. It\u2019s normal. However, the secular New Year often comes with New Year\u2019s resolutions and, right about now, they are testing people\u2019s commitment everywhere. Only a few weeks ago, all around us, in the media and on the gym treadmills, many of us were committing to \u201cfixing\u201d our faults and making a big change(s). Some of us are, no doubt, already having trouble sticking to them. Don\u2019t get me wrong, change, exercise, new promises \u2013 it\u2019s all good.<\/p>\n
When we look at the Torah portion for the beginning of the year (Jan. 6, Shemot\/Exodus 1:1-6:1), we can enjoy both a good storyline and some thoughts about challenges. This is a portion that covers a lot of ground. The Reform Judaism Torah portion page summarizes it this way:<\/p>\n
\u201cThe new king of Egypt makes slaves of the Hebrews and orders their male children to be drowned in the Nile River. (1:1-22)<\/p>\n
\u201cA Levite woman places her son, Moses, in a basket on the Nile, where he is found by the daughter of Pharaoh and raised in Pharaoh\u2019s house. (2:1-10)<\/p>\n
\u201cMoses flees to Midian after killing an Egyptian. (2:11-15)<\/p>\n
\u201cMoses marries the priest of Midian\u2019s daughter, Zipporah. They have a son named Gershom. (2:16-22)<\/p>\n
\u201cG-d calls Moses from a burning bush and commissions him to free the Israelites from Egypt. (3:1-4:17)<\/p>\n
\u201cMoses and Aaron request permission from Pharaoh for the Israelites to celebrate a festival in the wilderness. Pharaoh refuses and makes life even harder for the Israelites. (5:1-23)\u201d<\/p>\n
Here we are, looking at a portion about our leader, Moses. He\u2019s likely confused about his identity, since he was nursed by his Jewish mother, but raised as an Egyptian in Pharaoh\u2019s house.<\/p>\n
Moses is a person who kills someone else in anger and then runs away. He also \u2013 according to Rashi\u2019s commentary \u2013 has a speech impediment and stutters, so he needs his brother to help him communicate. There\u2019s much here. The short version is that we have a model of a leader with serious faults and challenges \u2013 and that\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n
Why? Well, the Jewish take on this is that we have to continually work on ourselves. We don\u2019t get to stop learning, seeking forgiveness, or trying to do better. We have to keep on keeping on. So, while a new year (any new year, go ahead and pick one!) might help remind us of this, it\u2019s meant to be a daily exercise. It\u2019s not supposed to be easy, either. The Torah offers us multiple narratives about struggle, challenge, defeat and renewal. It\u2019s up to us to read it and draw conclusions.<\/p>\n
In the popular media, there\u2019s a whole self-help genre. This stuff is sometimes helpful and, on occasion, you see that the website, book, podcast or article was a waste of time. Reading it can also make us feel worse and fuel our anxieties. However, the Torah, the rabbis and centuries of Jewish liturgy are part of this self-help tradition \u2013 of how to make ourselves into better people. The difference, in my opinion, is the emphasis on perfection. If you get sucked into it, you\u2019ll have yourself believing that your house should be as perfect as the staged ones on HGTV, or that if you just exercised, dieted, exfoliated or botoxed enough, you, too, would look like the \u201cideal\u201d you.<\/p>\n
Judaism may offer an alternate reality. There is no such thing as perfect. We may have struggles or challenges, disabilities or personality flaws. Our Jewish goal, in this context, is to try hard to be better people. We may not be perfect in our work lives. Our bodies may not look like airbrushed super models \u2013 and that\u2019s OK. We\u2019re offered a text that includes powerful, important leaders who are just people. People, like Moses, with identity issues, anger management problems, physical challenges and a lack of confidence. There are people who struggle with defiance, disobedience and authority, and all kinds of other folks, too.<\/p>\n
I think it\u2019s fair to say that all of us struggle sometimes, and give in to the bad feelings. It\u2019s knowing we\u2019re not where we want to be \u2013 personally, professionally, physically or socially. I feel embarrassed every single time that I bump into someone who knows me and I don\u2019t know them or cannot remember their name. Instead of beating myself up about it, I try to smile, say hello and embrace the (sleepless) situation I\u2019ve got, and that might be the key to a good resolution. We can keep working on it, no matter where we are. In this way, Dec. 31 is no different than Jan. 31.<\/p>\n
Or, as one of my kids (in Grade 1) says, \u201cI will keep learning more science. I will learn more addition! I will use new, bigger, better tools for art.\u201d In this way, we aren\u2019t committing to feeling badly about where we are. We\u2019re just trying for more, with no start or end date in mind.<\/p>\n
Joanne Seiff<\/strong> writes regularly for CBC Manitoba and various Jewish publications. She is the author of three books, including <\/em>From the Outside In: Jewish Post Columns 2015-2016, a collection of essays available for digital download or as a paperback from Amazon. See more about her at joanneseiff.blogspot.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you see me in the grocery store and I don\u2019t recognize you, I\u2019m sorry. I sometimes have a hard time remembering names and faces. Why? Well, it turns out that sleep deprivation can affect this kind of memory. Even though my kids sleep better now, for four-and-a-half years, they didn\u2019t get through the night. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[2840,2839,4829],"class_list":["post-27646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-op-ed","tag-new-years","tag-resolutions","tag-self-help"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27646\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}