{"id":26713,"date":"2017-11-10T03:33:38","date_gmt":"2017-11-10T11:33:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/?p=26713"},"modified":"2017-11-09T10:51:38","modified_gmt":"2017-11-09T18:51:38","slug":"keeping-children-safe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/2017\/11\/10\/keeping-children-safe\/","title":{"rendered":"Keeping children safe"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bracha Goetz reads from one of her recent books to her two grandchildren. (photo from Bracha Goetz)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Many of us were raised to not talk to and be wary of strangers, but the sad fact is that kids are much more likely to be taken advantage of or abused by someone they know and think they can trust. This reality was the driving force behind Bracha Goetz\u2019s book Let\u2019s Stay Safe<\/em>, which was published in English in 2011, and just came out in Yiddish this summer, as Zai Gezunt<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Born in Queens, N.Y., Goetz graduated from Harvard and started on the road to becoming a psychiatrist before heading to Israel for what was to be one summer. However, while in Israel, she become observant, and ended up staying. There, she did a further 11 years of study, got married and had a family.<\/p>\n

Goetz and her family have since moved to Baltimore, where she coordinates a Jewish Big Brother Big Sister (JBBBS) program. As well, she writes children\u2019s books and, to date, has published 36 of them. \u201cThey are all spiritual children\u2019s books,\u201d she said. \u201cOriginally, I was just writing Jewish children\u2019s books, but now I\u2019m also writing spiritual children\u2019s books for anybody.<\/p>\n

\u201cI always wanted to write spiritual books for everyone, but I just recently found a publisher that was interested. It\u2019s not easy. It took a long time, but I\u2019m very happy to do that, because, although these are Jewish concepts, they are also actually universal concepts that I\u2019d love to share with any child.<\/p>\n

\u201cI try to write books that I wished I could have read as a child, to answer the spiritual questions I had as a child that weren\u2019t answered,\u201d she continued. \u201cThey were answered for me when I was 22, but I try to write about the deepest spiritual concepts on a simple level so any child can understand them. I also try to do it in a joyful, delightful way, so that it can go right into their soul.\u201d<\/p>\n

In her role at JBBBS, Goetz witnesses firsthand how sexual abuse affected children. This made her think about how she was teaching her own children about such dangers.<\/p>\n

\u201cI realized that I didn\u2019t raise my children with an awareness about it,\u201d she said. \u201cI taught my children about \u2018stranger danger,\u2019 but, when they were little, we weren\u2019t as aware as we are today that, with most sexual abuse, the perpetrators are known to the children; that\u2019s how they get access. It\u2019s rare that it\u2019s a stranger. It\u2019s most commonly someone the child already knows. There was no book like this in the Orthodox community and some of the books (in the general community) are not culturally relevant for Orthodox people.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"photo<\/a>
Let\u2019s Stay Safe, which was published in English in 2011, and just came out in Yiddish this summer, as Zai Gezunt.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Goetz wanted to write a book that would be accepted by the Orthodox Jewish community specifically, as the subject tends to be less discussed in these communities. So, she wrote Let\u2019s Stay Safe<\/em>, but could not find a publisher. That is, not until Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, dean and founder of Yeshiva Darchei Noam in Monsey, N.Y., agreed to help and got the book accepted by ArtScroll.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe really worked at it, and it was a really groundbreaking book,\u201d said Goetz. \u201cThere was nothing like it out there. We wanted readers to understand that these were additional normative safety rules that needed to be adhered to by children to be safe. Of course, the book is also for parents, because, when parents read it to their children, they also gain an awareness.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not a good idea to leave the safety responsibility of children up to the children. It\u2019s the parents\u2019 responsibility. But, the parents also need to teach the awareness to their children and remind them about it every so often. As they come upon new circumstances, they need to review the guidelines.\u201d<\/p>\n

To take the book a step further, especially in Chassidic communities, Horowitz spearheaded a Yiddish version. \u201cIn certain Chassidic communities,\u201d explained Goetz, \u201ctheir mother tongue is Yiddish. We wanted to reach as many people as possible, so that they would bring this book into their homes and share it with their children. Even the pictures were altered to be more Chassidic-looking. We don\u2019t want anything to stop the Yiddish-speaking population from getting this information.\u201d<\/p>\n

One of the concepts Goetz wanted to stress in the book was that children speak with a parent even if somebody touched them inappropriately a long time ago. It is important for these experiences to be told, she said, so that survivors can heal, and also so that the perpetrators cannot continue abusing children.<\/p>\n

Another concept she wanted to convey clearly is not to trust someone just because she or he is dressed in Orthodox clothing, as that does not automatically mean they are safe people.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s one picture of an older teenaged boy at a camp,\u201d Goetz said, by way of example. \u201cMany times, it\u2019s a familial problem, where it\u2019s an older brother, an uncle, a step-brother who is the perpetrator. Just this week, I was in a community different than I was usually in, but the people knew I was the author of the book … and, this happens a lot, people come to me with questions. I was outside watching my grandchildren and a mother came by and said, \u2018Does this seem right? There\u2019s a teenaged boy and he\u2019s playing with all these little children. He\u2019s playing ball with them. He doesn\u2019t live in this community. And why is he here? He\u2019s Orthodox, as well, just as the children, but he didn\u2019t know any of them. Why was he playing with them?\u2019 I said that\u2019s definitely a red flag.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis kind of awareness was not typical before the Let\u2019s Stay Safe<\/em> book was published. The incident illustrates the impact that the book has had. Now, there is a general awareness in our community, because there has been consciousness-raising on the issue of child sexual abuse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Books written by Goetz are appropriate for kids ages 2 and up, but are better starting at the ages of 3 or 4.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis book is often read to 4- to 8-year-olds but, the truth is, older children love reading this book, too,\u201d said Goetz. \u201cAnd what I find so interesting is that a lot of children tell me it\u2019s their favourite book of mine, which I never expected because it\u2019s all about rules and guidelines. But, they love it. It gives them a sense of safety and security, and children ask for it as their bedtime story.\u201d<\/p>\n

Other books written by Goetz touch upon topics like eating healthily (and enjoying it), teaching children sensitivity, and teaching people how to interact more naturally with children with special needs.<\/p>\n

Rebeca Kuropatwa<\/strong> is a Winnipeg freelance writer.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bracha Goetz reads from one of her recent books to her two grandchildren. (photo from Bracha Goetz) Many of us were raised to not talk to and be wary of strangers, but the sad fact is that kids are much more likely to be taken advantage of or abused by someone they know and think […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":26714,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[784],"tags":[5737,4946,2864],"class_list":["post-26713","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","tag-abuse","tag-childrens-books","tag-health"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26713","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26713"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26713\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26714"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26713"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26713"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26713"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}