{"id":22396,"date":"2016-12-16T01:33:08","date_gmt":"2016-12-16T09:33:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/?p=22396"},"modified":"2016-12-15T10:28:00","modified_gmt":"2016-12-15T18:28:00","slug":"figuring-out-family-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/2016\/12\/16\/figuring-out-family-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"Figuring out family holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"

Adam Brody played Seth Cohen in the show The O.C<\/em>. and celebrated \u201cChrismukkah.\u201d (photo from cookiesandsangria.files.wordpress.com<\/a>)<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

If nothing else, The O.C.<\/em>, the popular 2003-07 American television show that featured the overblown dramas of hyper-privileged Orange County teens and their self-obsessed parents, can be credited with making a household name of \u201cChrismukkah\u201d \u2013 the handy portmanteau that character Seth Cohen used to describe his interfaith family\u2019s fusing of Christmas and Chanukah.<\/p>\n

With intermarriage on the rise, many Jews in Canada and the United States are partnered or raising children with spouses of Christian backgrounds. Jewish Federations of Canada-United Israel Appeal\u2019s 2011 National Household Survey found that the intermarriage rate in this country is 25%, about half the rate in the United States.<\/p>\n

With Christmas being the centrepiece of the Christian calendar in the West \u2013 even for the increasing number of North Americans who celebrate Jesus\u2019 birthday only culturally \u2013 many intermarried Jews find themselves in a quandary: should they embrace \u201cChrismukkah,\u201d observe Christmas and Chanukah separately, or focus on creating an exclusively Jewish home by just celebrating the Festival of Lights.<\/p>\n

While every family\u2019s situation is different, it seems that many interfaith couples are finding ways to mark both holidays, but with the emphasis on each one\u2019s cultural value.<\/p>\n

This lines up with findings from the Pew Research Centre\u2019s 2013 study A Portrait of Jewish Americans<\/em>, which notes that younger generations of American Jews \u2013 32% among Jewish millennials \u2013 often identify themselves as Jewish on the basis of ancestry, ethnicity or culture rather than religion. This matched the broader U.S. public\u2019s shift away from religious affiliation, which is particularly prevalent among those in the 18-to-29 age range.<\/p>\n

As for \u201cChrismukkah,\u201d the Pew report found that about one-third of Jews surveyed said they\u2019d had a Christmas tree in their home the year prior. Among those married to non-Jews, that number was 71%.<\/p>\n

Tyler Irving isn\u2019t Jewish, but his wife is, and the couple had their first child last year.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo far, I\u2019ve found it pretty easy to celebrate both sets of holidays,\u201d he said. \u201cWe\u2019ve been thinking about holidays as chances to reflect on culture, spend time with family and build strong bonds, and putting less emphasis on the religious aspects.\u201d<\/p>\n

Because Christmas is when they visit Irving\u2019s parents, who live in the country, he expects that his own kids will view Christmas as a time to \u201cbe with Grandma and Grandpa,\u201d while Chanukah will be \u201cthe chance to go to spend time with Bubbie and Zaide.\u201d<\/p>\n

Arielle Piat-Sauv\u00e9 grew up in Quebec with a Jewish mother and a Catholic father.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe always celebrated both holidays,\u201d she said. \u201cWe went to my dad\u2019s family for Christmas, though we did have a tree and did gifts at our own home. On Chanukah, we\u2019d light the candles and do something with my [maternal] grandma and cousins. When I was younger, I\u2019d get a gift for each night, but that wore off.\u201d<\/p>\n

If the two holidays coincided, her family would first light the Chanukah candles and then go to her grandparents\u2019 for Christmas dinner. She stressed that neither holiday celebration focused on their religious components, but tradition and family time.<\/p>\n

\u201cOften, it\u2019s easier for families to add than subtract,\u201d said Rabbi Jordan Helfman of Toronto\u2019s Holy Blossom Temple, a Reform synagogue that has among its members quite a few interfaith couples.<\/p>\n

Interfaith families with children enrolled in Holy Blossom\u2019s supplementary religious school are asked not to celebrate Christmas in their own homes, but going to a non-Jewish relative\u2019s place for Christmas is OK, Helfman explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy experience is it\u2019s not hard for children to make that distinction, especially when the parents are clear about, \u2018This is what we do in our house, and this is what Grandma does in her house.\u2019 Kids are smarter than we give them credit for,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Rabbi Tina Grimberg of Congregation Darchei Noam, Toronto\u2019s Reconstructionist synagogue, said her congregation has a number of interfaith families, many of whom get involved in the shul\u2019s Chanukah festivities, or who light candles in their own homes.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I go into people\u2019s homes and see Christmas trees? Not often at all. Do trees come up in [interfaith congregants\u2019] homes on Dec. 24? Most likely not \u2026 though if people do celebrate both Christmas and Chanukah, they don\u2019t tell me,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Just because a non-Jewish partner hasn\u2019t converted doesn\u2019t mean Christmas is central in their life, she emphasized. And, ultimately, when addressing interfaith families\u2019 practice of Judaism, there\u2019s a larger conversation at play.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about how to live life in a Jewish context when you have deep roots in another reality. It\u2019s not about, \u2018I\u2019m Jewish because I don\u2019t celebrate Christmas.\u2019 It\u2019s \u2018How many Jewish things do I do \u2026 do I do Shabbat, go to synagogue, have a seder, do mitzvot, say Shema in the morning?\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cSome people will still have a tree, because it honors their grandma, while others feel they have enough of a rich Jewish life that they no longer need it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rabbi Jillian Cameron is director of the Boston chapter of InterfaithFamily, a U.S. organization that supports interfaith couples exploring Jewish life. It provides families with educational materials and connections to inclusive organizations, programs and local clergy.<\/p>\n

She stressed that, while she doesn\u2019t see a single trend with regard to how families led by intermarried couples approach the holidays, at this time of year, many of them are focused on figuring out how to be respectful of both Chanukah and Christmas, whether they celebrate the holidays in their own home or that of an extended family member.<\/p>\n

While Christmas can be tough to give up for many who are raised with it, Cameron said, the religious element is secondary to \u201cthe family connections, the music, the smells, the tree \u2026 there\u2019s a big pull to the sensory nature of Christmas.\u201d<\/p>\n

She added that this speaks to the wider trend of younger people finding value in tradition, but focusing on things outside of the theological realm.<\/p>\n

While families with one Jewish and one Christian parent observe the holidays at this time of year in all sorts of incarnations, it\u2019s clear that many, as in the general population, are most concerned about preserving tradition and a sense of family togetherness.<\/p>\n

\u2013 For more national Jewish news, visit cjnews.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Adam Brody played Seth Cohen in the show The O.C. and celebrated \u201cChrismukkah.\u201d (photo from cookiesandsangria.files.wordpress.com) If nothing else, The O.C., the popular 2003-07 American television show that featured the overblown dramas of hyper-privileged Orange County teens and their self-obsessed parents, can be credited with making a household name of \u201cChrismukkah\u201d \u2013 the handy portmanteau […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":22281,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[781],"tags":[2517,6628,6627,5260,6528,218],"class_list":["post-22396","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-holidays","tag-chanukah","tag-chrismukkah","tag-christmas","tag-interfaith","tag-intermarriage","tag-judaism"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":8}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22396","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22396"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22396\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22396"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22396"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishindependent.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22396"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}