|
|
Nov. 9, 2007
Parenting made easier
Raising kids is like playing with Lego, says writer.
ADRIENNE TOOCH
As every parent knows, the path one takes when trying to raise menschlich children can be incredibly daunting. Ironically, with all the self-help child-rearing books out there today, the task can seem even more overwhelming. Sharon Duke Estroff has come to the rescue of parents raising children in today's "overachieving, anxiety- filled culture," with her concise, insightful and often hilarious guide Can I have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? The Essential Scoop on Raising Modern Jewish Kids.
The "five zillion-unanswered-questions syndrome" is something of a parental epidemic within the Jewish community and Estroff tackles a wide range of issues that face parents, such as preparing for kindergarten, setting up play dates, safe cyber-travels and cyber-bullying, the "war" on homework and even "Santa envy."
As the writer of a now nationally syndicated Jewish parenting advice column and an award-winning Jewish educator, Estroff possesses all the necessary qualifications required to deal with these issues. However, the experiences of motherhood – of no less than four school-aged children – is definitely the principal prerequisite. With wit and insight, Estroff guides parents along the way and advises them to focus on the future and, most importantly, to appreciate the journey. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and nod in agreement at many of the uniquely Jewish situations in which she finds herself.
Estroff sets out by comparing the daunting task of child-rearing to building a castle with Lego. "It's like the Lego sets that are stuffed into my boys' closets," she writes. "When you first dump the contents of the package onto the playroom floor, you feel overwhelmed and perplexed; you don't know whether you're trying to build a castle or a spaceship. It's not until you see the picture on the front of the box that all those tiny cubes suddenly take on new meaning as the building blocks of a totally cool medieval fortress. That glimpse at the final goal – while admittedly a bit daunting at first – ultimately gives us the faith, inspiration and direction we need to begin building our Camelot." The raising of a school-age child is no different. One of the most important lessons to be learned from this book is that your "castle" doesn't necessarily have to match the one on the front of the box, as long as your children can view the final product with confidence and pride and use it like a good instruction manual.
In most chapters, Estroff introduces the "Jewish parent 911," in which summarizes the topics discussed within the chapter and offers some simple suggestions on how to work through these issues and dilemmas. She also suggests that parents keep the AAA (accept imperfection, avoid the self-esteem parenting trap and accentuate your children's unique sets of gifts) toolbox close at hand while trudging through the parenting jungle.
Flexibility and compromise seem to be key elements in Estroff's recommendations on raising children. Comparing parents to palm trees, she suggests that sometimes bending in the direction of the storm can help to instil respect and admiration for others in your children. "If we want our kids to be flexible and accommodate our requests, we must occasionally be flexible and accommodate theirs," she argues.
In Can I have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah?, there are constant referrals and links to relevant talmudic laws and Estroff advises us to embrace our Judaism as a parenting ally: "The rich Jewish religion provides you with indispensable backup parenting support in the form of a ready-made curriculum in ethics and morality."
Summing her ideas up in one heart-warming reminder, Estroff suggests that we "remember to stop and smell the bubble gum." She's right. Sometimes, we need to just sit back, bless God and enjoy the ride.
^TOP
|
|
