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May 25, 2001
The speed-dating game
Now you can look for love in seven-minute intervals.
PAT JOHNSON REPORTER
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. You've got seven minutes.
A New York dating phenomenon is coming to Vancouver and Jewish singles
have responded with overwhelming enthusiasm, say local organizers.
The Community Kollel, known mostly for Jewish educational ventures,
is bringing speed-dating to the Lower Mainland. The process brings
15 Jewish men and 15 Jewish women together in a casual environment,
then mixes them up by putting one couple together for seven minutes
flat before they stop, move to another table and spend seven minutes
with another potential friend or mate. After each meeting, participants
simply fill out a form saying "yes" or "no" to meeting that person
again. Organizers later tabulate results and connect willing couples.
The program has been featured on television, in the New York
Times and has proved enormously popular with Jewish singles
of all ages. One newspaper dubbed it "A match made in seven." Two
local rabbis, Rabbi Avraham Feigelstock and Rabbi Shmuel Yeshayahu,
are bringing the event to Vancouver. The first venture will take
place June 10 at a city café, bringing together 30 Jewish singles
between the ages of 35 and 45. A few weeks later, different age
groups will get their chance.
Already, with little other than word of mouth to spur interest,
100 people have signed up and they will be divided into age categories
beginning with under-25s. The oldest applicant so far is 70.
Feigelstock said speed-dating is an ideal way for singles to meet,
because it abandons any pretense. Although the Kollel offers countless
social opportunities, he said, some singles don't want to attend
classes, join a shul or get involved in various other events in
order to meet new people. He added that speed-dating is a simple,
effective way to break the ice with new people and make, if not
lifelong love, maybe a new friend or two. In fact, according to
Feigelstock, 50 per cent of participants in other cities have come
away with at least a new friend.
Feigelstock defends speed-dating against the argument that it
is a superficial environment in which to meet someone. He said that,
in an average first date consisting of a movie or bowling, discussions
tend to lack content. In a seven-minute meeting, there is an obligation
to get to the point. Do you share the same values? Do you have much
in common? Is there a basis for something more?
"We're not trying to make a match in seven minutes," Feigelstock
acknowledged, saying that all they are trying to do is break the
ice. "What they do with it is their business."
An obvious question in a smaller Jewish community like Vancouver's
is whether most of the participants will already know each other.
In the Jewish community, Feigelstock said, there is a limited dating
pool. However, somewhat surprisingly, a huge proportion of the 100
participants already signed up are largely unaffiliated Jews with
little other connection to the community. In seeking a potential
partner, it appears that even unaffiliated Jews seek out another
Jewish person.
Feigelstock thinks that this tendency is understandable. "It's
difficult enough for two people to get together," he said. "Adding
a different culture or a different religion makes it even more difficult."
Feigelstock and Yeshayahu say the idea is to match Jewish couples,
but they have no qualms about the observance levels of participants.
"We try to cater to all parts of the spectrum," said Feigelstock.
Despite speed-dating's novelty in Vancouver, it has been operating
in some other cities for years. After the first round of applicants
have had their chance locally, organizers are planning a joint speed-dating
event with Washington state singles in a central location such as
Bellingham or Mount Vernon. But Yeshayahu and Feigelstock say it
doesn't matter to them how long the phenomenon lasts in this city.
If its success continues for years in the future, they will continue
to arrange events. If it serves its purpose in one round, that's
fine, they say.
"Even if we operate for just one year, I don't care," said Feigelstock.
For further information or to sign up, call 267-7026.
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