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January 8, 2010
One effort at peacemaking
Listening with true compassion takes real practice and patience.
YAEL HEFFER
In October 2008, three Vancouverites – Maggy Kaplan, a retired social worker, filmmaker Bonnie Sherr Klein and Dr. Michael Klein, former head of family practice at B.C. Children's and Women's Hospital – joined a two-week compassionate listening (CL) delegation to Israel and the West Bank. Part of a group of 23 individuals, ranging in age from 22 to 71, they met with Israelis and Palestinians in Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Hebron, Ramallah, Yafo and the Galilee. The purpose of their journey was to listen.
The Compassionate Listening Project (TCLP) is a nongovernmental organization founded by Leah Green in 1997. At its essence lies the call by Monk Tich Nhat Hanh, "for peacemakers to initiate humanizing contact and cultivate compassion for those on all sides of a conflict." By means of deeper listening CL opens the door to the possibility of nonviolent conflict resolution. Over the years, hundreds of individuals have taken part in TCLP delegations, bringing nonjudgmental listening to a place where the acts of listening and of being listened to are scarce commodities.
Upon their return, Kaplan, Klein and Sherr Klein organized an interactive presentation with audience volunteers reading personal narratives of Israelis and Palestinians they had met, including a slide show of the "storytellers" and their context.
Following talks in British Columbia and Montreal and, in an effort to create a safe space for discussions within the local Jewish community, they are scheduled to present their experiences in Vancouver later this month. Curious to find out a bit more about their experiences and the upcoming presentation, I e-mailed them some questions:
How did you become involved with compassionate listening and what inspired you to go on the delegation?
Kaplan: As a Jewish person, I have thought a lot about Israel and its relationship to Palestine and have wondered what it would take to bring about a truly peaceful resolution.... When I heard that Leah [Green] had taken groups there to help facilitate a healing dialogue process, I decided I wanted to join.
Klein: I wanted to see what was going on in Israel and the West Bank with my own eyes, to hear people's stories without being proselytized by any political point of view.
Sherr Klein: I was raised in a traditional Jewish household, with an advanced Jewish and Hebrew education and a deep love of Israel, and was finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile what I thought were my Jewish values with the actions of the Israeli government vis-a-vis the occupation. I was missing the safe space for open and honest discussion within our Jewish community and saw compassionate listening as a tool to get at underlying feelings and values on both sides of any issue.
What practices were at the core of your delegation?
Sherr Klein: We created a safe, even sacred, space for people to tell their personal stories – without interruption, argument or prescription. We had no agenda other than to listen with an open heart. We asked clarifying or open questions to help us understand better, in the course of which the tellers often clarified their own feelings as they heard themselves. In the end, we told them what we appreciated about what they had told us. Sounds simple, doesn't it?
Kaplan: CL is a practice that requires intention and discipline. It does not mean agreeing with the position of another. It does mean putting your own positions aside in order to listen. Compassionate, deep-listening practices melt walls when a safe container is created for people to be truly free to express themselves.
I imagine listening this way was not always easy.
Klein: At times I was at the edge of argumentative and had to restrain myself and ask questions only on points of clarification.
Was there an interaction or experience that particularly touched you?
Klein: I was the unofficial photographer. I saw and photographed actual transformations in people we listened to, including people in our delegation.
Kaplan: We met two Palestinian and Israeli fathers, Ibrahim and Rami, who had lost young children to violence and were part of the Bereaved Parents Forum. As a parent, I can only imagine how difficult it would be to come to terms with the murder of a child. Yet, these bereaved fathers were like two dear friends who couldn't get enough of each other, and have devoted their lives to having their children's deaths bring peace to this troubled land.
Some people may say that listening is a waste of time in this case and is not enough to solve the problems in the Middle East.
Sherr Klein: CL or other nonviolent forms of conflict resolution and dialogue are not a substitute for political action – they can co-exist. I believe that no political solution will be sustainable without a foundation of mutual understanding and respect, both in Israel and the Diaspora.
Kaplan: Listening, deep listening, is never a waste of time because there is always a possibility of healing and deeper understanding in the face of conflict. But is it enough? I don't know. I think every person must do what they can do in such a situation. What I appreciate about CL is that no sides are taken, and this may, in the long run, contribute to a softening of positions.
Kaplan, Klein and Sherr Klein will make their presentation on Wednesday, Jan. 20, 7 p.m., at the Jewish Community Centre of Greater Vancouver.
Yael Heffer is an educator and freelance writer living in Vancouver.
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