Do you know what’s enough?

RABBI BENJAMIN BLECH

In the old film Key Largo, Edward G. Robinson, in the role that defined him, plays a gangster whose life is filled with violence and deceit. In the film, he holds a family hostage. Someone asks him what makes him want to live this kind of life but, try as he might, Robinson can’t answer this question. So one of the hostages, played by Humphrey Bogart, suggests an answer: “I know what you want. You want more.” Robinson’s face brightens as he says, “Yeah! That’s it! That’s what I want. I want more.”

Fast forward more than half a century and hear how the same theme is repeated in Oliver Stone’s Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, capturing what motivates those who are ready to destroy their friends and their families in pursuit of unlimited wealth. In a meeting between the young Jake (Shia LaBeouf) and the megalomaniac, Bretton James (Josh Brolin), Jake puts the question to Bretton, who has already caused the suicide of a competitor and the destruction of another firm with false rumors, “So what is your number?”

When Bretton doesn’t understand, Jake explains that everyone has a really far-out number that represents total success, the ability to get out of the race. “So what’s your number?” Jake repeats. Bretton considers and after a few moments of silence responds: “More.”

The desire for more is our contemporary idol – and we worship it at our own peril. Sadly, we transfer the idea that only something newer will bring us joy. We can, however, try to replace our insatiable demand for “more” with the awareness that we have more than enough.

Countless studies have shown that the secret of a happy marriage is the ability to feel contentment with your partner in spite of a lack of perfection. True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. My father would tell people that he had the most beautiful wife – the best cook in the world, the greatest mother to his children. Did he really believe that my mother was truly the most outstanding woman in the world? Yes, he did, because he chose to ignore her faults and overemphasize her qualities. He wasn’t interested in more. He knew that the woman he married was a gift from G-d.

The divorce rate today is testament to the results of worshipping more. “Why should I be satisfied with this person if there might be someone newer or better out there?” Believing that “more” automatically leads to joy condemns us to an endless pursuit while we ignore those parts of life that really give it meaning and joy.

But we can stop being the creators of unhappiness by replacing our insatiable demand for more with the awareness that we have more than enough. Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller were once talking at a party hosted by a billionaire. Vonnegut pointed out that their wealthy host had made more money in one day than Heller ever made from his celebrated novel Catch-22. Heller responded, “Yes, but I have something he’ll never have: enough.”

Rabbi Benjamin Blech is the author of 12 books and a professor of Talmud at Yeshivah University. This article was originally published by Aish HaTorah Resources, aish.com.

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